10-no-4 Days to Become a Social Media Expert

Yes, those are panties. Based on the utter (ly made up) success of Get More Twitter Followers TODAY post, I have decided that I, too, am a SOCIAL MEDIA EXPERT. But why keep this to myself, I thought? (When I could tell you about it and seem smarter!) And so, I devised a 10 4 day course to make YOU a social media EXPERT. This is really all it takes. Get your LinkedIn profile ready, gang! You’ve got a new title to put on the summary part. YOU are going to be the next SOCIAL MEDIA EXPERT!!!


10, no 4!!! Days to Become a Social Media EXPERT

DAY 1 – Discover that everyone else is blogging and find a website that lets you get a FREE blog for FREE. Sign up and get the free account. Type in your first post: “I’m not really sure what I’m going to do with this thing, but here I am. I’ve got a great idea.” Then, wait a month and put up another blog post. But don’t let that stop you from your quest.

DAY 2 – Get an email from someone who wouldn’t talk to you in high school saying that they want to be your friend on something called MyFace or something. Get an account there and write up your bio. (It’s okay to fib a little). Discover the world of vampires and food fights and share quizzes with the other people. Extra points for tagging your friends in unflattering photos.

DAY 3 – Learn that blogging is dead. Discover that everyone is using Pownce tweetering on this Twitter thing, and get right on that. Answer the question “What are you doing?” very literally. “I am eating leftovers and watching an Idol rerun.” Annnnd, don’t forget to Get More Twitter Followers TODAY.

DAY 4 – Announce that you are now a SOCIAL MEDIA EXPERT (it’s okay that this is a day early), and put up a website where you offer a seminar. $97 is enough. Also, write a 24 124 page ebook (well, you don’t have to write if you find enough really good blog posts to copy and paste together from other sites), and sell that for $27 USD. Then, make sure every one of your profiles on every social site you’ve joined (should be like 70) says “Social Media Expert” in the title. Oh, and while you’re there, consider putting up an avatar pic.

That’s it. You can just PRINT MONEY at this point! Was that too hard??? No, I don’t think so! But if it was, here are a few more tips:

  • Tie the tools to business process.
  • Ruthlessly explore the value of the tools and methods to your company’s goals.
  • Build relationships before testing your business objectives.
  • Read voraciously.
  • Ask several questions.
  • Explore and test new services as potential augmentation of your business plans, but stop using services that don’t serve you.
  • Keep a timer handy so you don’t drown.

Fair?

OR

Consider pre-ordering Trust Agents and supporting Chris and Julien Smith:

Trust Agents

Inspired by a comment on Twitter from @grizzlysgrowls (in the good sense)

Photo credit C.C. Chapman

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  • http://twitter.com/cathmary Cathy Dempsey

    Love it! Thanks for the laugh!

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  • http://twitter.com/OutreachNuMedia Alex Murashko Jr

    Awesome! Let's be friends and follow each other to the ends of the universe!

  • JonAndersonFan1025

    LOL! This is hilarious! I totally get what you're after here.

    On a more serious note…I don't believe for a minute that blogging is dead. Twitter's great for briefly announcing stuff you're doing in your home-based business (or to generally stay relevant in your chosen career, if you're over 40-something) and to just blurt out cool (even inspirational) thoughts that popped into your head but are so profoundly Zen that they don't need much elaboration.

    But blogging allows one the freedom to elaborate. Twitter does not. Twitter allows you only 140 chars. Blogging allows however many words your mind and soul requires to furnish the nitty-gritty details of one's latest ventures, deepest thoughts, etc. Blogging even gives you a platform if you desire to turn your thoughts into a hardcopy book and you want to be published by the Big Houses.

    Definitely lovin' the satire! As someone whose ancestors were very likely the bards of old who satirized crappy kings and chieftains, I say keep the sarcasm coming! :-D

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=709366337 facebook-709366337

    Great post, great information.

  • http://www.socialfactory.net/ social media applications

    social media is still hard to understand for most of the people in the world. many of them misuesed it.

  • socialmediaidiot

    An easy way to tell if you're a social media expert or idiot……

    http://www.slideshare.net/socialmediaidiot/an-e

  • http://www.nextlevelblogger.com/ Christian

    This whole post and all the comments are damn hilarious! You have a rockin community Chris :)

  • socialmediaidiot

    An easy way to tell if you're a social media expert or idiot……

    http://www.slideshare.net/socialmediaidiot/an-e

  • http://www.nextlevelblogger.com/ Christian

    This whole post and all the comments are damn hilarious! You have a rockin community Chris :)

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  • http://www.memorybits.co.uk/ micro sd card

    Great post – very funny. I am going to change my status to Social Media Expert everywhere for the next week and see what happens. Btw I am also an expert photographer and have a Flickr account to prove it! LOL!

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  • http://www.savetubevideo.com youtube downloader

    Get an email from someone who wouldn’t talk to you in high school saying that they want to be your friend on something called MyFace or something. Get an account there and write up your bio. (It’s okay to fib a little). Discover the world of vampires and food fights and share quizzes with the other people. Extra points for tagging your friends in unflattering photos

  • http://www.savetubevideo.com youtube downloader

    Get an email from someone who wouldn’t talk to you in high school saying that they want to be your friend on something called MyFace or something. Get an account there and write up your bio. (It’s okay to fib a little). Discover the world of vampires and food fights and share quizzes with the other people. Extra points for tagging your friends in unflattering photos

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