Another Term for Consulant

March 1, 2007 · Comments

Breakfast with Geo This is my friend, Geo. One of the several terms Geo uses for himself is that he’s an “insultant.” That means he’s paid (or not) to tell it like it is, to show the Emperor his wardrobe. Geo and I have shared a lot of space with consultants, some good, some otherwise.

Quotes from Geo:

“a consultant gets paid and tells you what you want to hear an insultant doesn’t get paid and tells you the truth” because they have no vested interested other then in seeing that the project works and not in changing the facts to fit somebodies needs – nor in creating propaganda that you start out knowing is pure bull and then because so many people start quoting and believing it you start believing in your own propaganda – advertisers, governments, the media have perfected this form”

And this, coupled with something I read about PodCamp, gave me a need:

First, the Wrong Kind

I’ve run into two distinct types of consultants: one kind are those who are always out there looking for work, looking for the angle, looking to add to their own personal Rolodex. Man, I can’t really get along with those types. I understand the need to get work, but there’s something in HOW YOU DO IT that gets to me. I wish I could tell you what it is in your delivery that bugs me, but I get the feeling you’re friends with my wallet and not me. That might be it. A good friend of mine calls it “buying friends.” I just can’t imagine a “relationship” with someone that way. Compensation is one thing. Thinking you like me for my connections or a salary is another.

Ronin? Would That Work?

A friend of mine, John Wall calls himself the Ronin Marketeer. For those of you not familiar with the term, a Ronin was a masterless Samurai in historical Japanese culture. (I’m waiting for Penn to correct me on this point). There were some negatives associated with this term, as being a Samurai with no Master often meant that you’d somehow either disgraced yourself, your Master, or let your Master come to a bad end. Whichever way you got there, a Ronin wasn’t really looked upon as a good guy.

But it kind of works. Because a Ronin is like a person with all these skills and smarts who’s looking for a gig.

Privateer

In nautical history, a privateer vessel was a ship that had some basic rules and permissions granted it by Royalty, usually for the open-faced purpose of messing with the enemy. Privateers weren’t necessarily required to be part of the Royal Navy. They could chip in on certain efforts, but weren’t required to do all the bits. Maybe it’s a privateer captain?

The Point Is – Relationships First

Sorry, I got stuck in the words (like golfers might get stuck in the weeds, were I to do that pursuit).

My point is simply this: There’s two ways to get business. One way is to go out there and squeeze golden eggs out of geese. The other is to feed the goose, pet the goose, and they’ll share the eggs.

Play nice, consultants. I’m watching you! And for now, I’m hanging with Geo the Insultant. : )

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  • James- good point. In my effort to paint with a broad brush, I often forget that there are always good ones. Oh wait, I did say that. I've got lots of consultant friends. TONS, now that I think about it- is that wrong? And they're mostly okay. One comes to mind as much too pitchy, but otherwise, a reasonable fellow.

    So anyhow, really great point. Good people in every stripe. Evil people in every stripe. Zebras.
  • Like anything else, there are good consultants and bad. I had a consulting business for 7 years and built up a good client list. But, as other have said, the relationship comes first. If your customers cannot trust your advice and judgement as a consultant, you are nowhere. So, I found it best to tell the truth to my customers, even when they did not want to hear it (for example, when I told my fax customers that they needed to come up with new business models because their traditional cash cow was maturing).
  • Seth Godin had a related post this week - that slimy feeling you get from a hard sell the product of desperation, the fear of not finding the next gig.

    http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2007/02...

    Ronin have no fear, they know there's always another battle out there.
  • I refer you to John Wall's blog for the ronin conversation.

    There's a famous Dilbert cartoon about consultants, too. "I like to con people. I like to insult people. I'll be a consultant! I'm here to consult you."

    I've had a number of bad experiences with consulting - both being one and working with several in the past. You're right to say that a lot of consultants want to be friends with your wallet and expense account. There's an equally great cartoon in one of Robert Allen's books, a couple holding hands at a beach, and the caption reads, "I'll be with you until the end of your money."

    That's the way I've felt in the past, particularly in financial services, when you have a consultant march in, tell you everything you need to do, and then march out leaving you with a useless white paper and very large bill. SAS70 auditors, I'm looking at you.

    Same for those day seminars you go to about this real estate investment or whatever. It's easy for the consultant to stand up in the front of the room and make condescending sneers at the audience about how they're simply behind the times if they're not leveraging tax lien certificates, while behind the scenes their only moneymakers are the seminar entrance fees and the books they write for the sole purpose of getting you to one of their seminars.

    The relationship comes first - always. Without it, I can't tell the difference between you (and your fancy 401k tax sheltering plan) and snake oil. In an age when building credibility is as easy as slapping up a web site in iWeb and buying a vanity phone number, I will default to believing you're snake oil every time.
  • Aw. Now I want a pet goose. Although I'm afraid it might bite off my fingers. I think maybe it's better to sit back and admire the geese and talk softly to them until they trust you enough that they will come and take the bread from your hands.
    This isn't a metaphor. I really like geese.
    :P
    Seriously though, very good point. I met a few people at both of the podcamps I attended and you can feel that vibe of needing to find out what value you can be to them and extracting that value from you as quickly as possible so they can move on to the next person. It's unsettling, unpleasant and a bad way to do business because people can always see right through that.
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