Ask Better

Last year, I learned how to ask for what I needed. I believe this meant more to my career and life overall than any other action I’ve taken then and since. And yet, I work to improve my asking effectiveness all the time. Without knowing how to ask, you won’t get too far. So here are some thoughts.

When Asking if YOU Can Be Helpful – Consider the situation: a friend states they’re in a bind. Your next move is to offer help (especially if you’re a grasshopper). But if you start with “Is there anything I can do to help?,” you’ve put the burden back on the stressed person. What about this instead: “I know you’re in a rough spot. I’d like to make a few calls, see if I can find you a fill-in for your employee who quit. Would that be helpful?”

The difference is you offer a solution, then check that it’s okay with the person. You’re not asking them to expend more brain power. See?

When Asking for Help – I’ve learned that the tighter I make my question, the better the response. Instead of saying, “Maybe you can help me with the conference,” I’ve learned to say, “I’d love to get your opinion on what topics would be good for sessions, and if you have contact with speakers who would make sense, can we talk it out, and perhaps get introductions?” The results are DRAMATICALLY different.

Consider what you’re asking, and then see if you can be very specific. Try to add “close loops” into your ask. Meaning, ask the question that will bring about the appropriate close to your needs. Ask as specifically as you can.

The results will come almost at once.