Community in December

December 4, 2006 · Comments

Trees I believe two things happen simultaneously in December: we feel the urge to gather with friends, family, and loved ones on one hand, and on the other, we seek to slow ourselves down and get ready for the winter before us. These feelings clash and play on each other, and in some, create a certain sadness and malaise.

This year, I received a few holiday party invites from colleagues and friends around the world of new media. It’s new to me, because I’ve spent the last 16 years in larger companies that have a holiday party and that are insular in their devise. In the old days, the parties were great insofar as we all knew each other, and this was one evening to express the energy and effort we’d put into the “battles” of the previous year.

In my new role, I’ve only been here since October. My role is a crazy collection of duties and exciting projects that lead me all over the place, and let me interact with more people than my previous jobs. This makes for lots of great feelings of connection with lots of wonderful people. I’ve received party invites from some, and I got my first new media-sent holiday card from Chris Heuer and Kristie Wells.

Speaking of events, I’ll be heading to New York City on the morning of the 14th for a breakfast with the New York Media Information Exchange Group (NYMIEG), and that looks to be pretty cool. First off, I’ll have a chance to see some (at least one) of my friends planning PodCamp New York City face to face. I’ll also get to meet some of Bill Sobel’s close and personal friends (like the guy behind Channel Frederator and the founder of MTV, among others). So that will be nice.

Community and the Blues

And at the same time, I’ve come to realize (or at least finally admit) that I suffer from the Holiday Blues. For whatever reason, when it comes time to decorate the house, get the tree, all those things, I get a feeling of sorrow or something like it. It’s not anything I can point to, and it’s not especially bothersome to my life. But when I think about the overall STUFF of the holiday season, I get a little down.

It’s taken Katrina several years to accept this and work around it. Whenever she starts blasting Charlie Brown Christmas and stringing lights in the house, I sneak off to the bathroom or do little things around the edges to help. When she gets all jazzed about taking out the holiday ornaments (and we have some really cool ones collected over the years), I find other things that need doing with full attention. But we’re realizing this about me, and it’s okay. It’s just what I do. Having a happy, passionate daughter helps the feeling.

Snow in MassachusettsAs People Hunker Down

As people start to hunker down in the colder climes, I think we also start to look back and forward at the same time. We look at where we’ve come from, and where we’re going. Just like a cold cellar ready to receive the fall’s harvest, we take stock of what we put away this year, and we look at what we can improve on for next year.

So, too, will I be doing as I consider the coming year.

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  • I understand the Xmas blues, and I would imagine they might be a bit more rough this year since your grandfather passed away this fall. I know the hardest part for me sometimes is missing my dad and grandma, and knowing what a kick they would have gotten out of the kids at christmas.
    For adults, I think the "you have to go buy stuff for people" part of the season feels false and forced, rather than a genuine sense of wanting to make someone happy and surprised. I had more fun making cookies this weekend for the kids, and their sneaking a bit a dough, than I ever get shopping for anything. I had a blast putting together a care package for a new media friend- the general theme of which is "Remember what Christmas was like as a child". To me, the fun of the season is in the silly- the stocking stuffers designed to make someone laugh; like atomic fireballs and lemonheads. If we can at least visit our inner child, maybe even take them out to lunch over the holidays- we can get a bit of the joy back. My favorite t-shirt of the season is "disguised as a responsible adult".

    We started making donations to Heifer international for adult gifts to co-workers and the like- giving in lieu of stuff. They give chickens, sheep, etc. to people in third world countries, to help raise their standard of living. We also like Habitat for Humanity, and the idea of providing homes for those who can't afford one otherwise.
    I also do a couple things around Xmas- besides the can drives at the kids schools, and helping specific families through the school programs, At least once during the season, we try to take kids down to the Sunday Breakfast Mission in town- the Soup Kitchen, with a donation of food and/or cash. They are a little young to volunteer in prep or serving, but they need to know how lucky they are, too. And if you don't have a visual demonstration of need, you don't understand. We can talk about it all day, but something closer at hand is needed.
    Yeah, I occassionally get caught up in the search for the Wii for the kids, (lined up at 8:45 yesterday morning at the EB Games to find out none were received...) but we've also gone for experience over things as a general rule. One year we took them to Discovery Cove in FL as their gift, and they got to swim with the dolphins. The "making memories" is much more important than any 'thing' we could ever give them.
    I'm now trying to think of how we should capture this on video- demonstrate what matters to others, as well as how to count our blessings. Maybe a twelve days of christmas, the way we want it to be.... interacting and helping others. Coming together and finding our blessings are our friends.
  • I think that's a great idea, especially the way your effort helps two organizations at once.

    I wonder if there's a way to add some kind of video storytelling or community journalism into the experience as well. Maybe if there were a way to reach out, donate or support in some way, and then go in another direction by raising the visibility of various communities or projects that show need, etc.

    What video project would be of value to this as an add-on to the giving and social ideas we come up with?
  • Not sure if it's the same emotion or not, but my holiday blues are a combination of nostalgia and awakening - the realization that another year has passed, and just how quickly the time has flown by, and an occasional moment of regret for not having accomplished more. This year is significantly happier than last because 2006 was a whopper of a year, with so much accomplished, but you still have to step back and look at the opportunity costs, the things you weren't able to capitalize on, and the wish that you had.

    That, and the fact that outside of the communities we participate in, mainstream society has transformed the holidays into a vicious consumer binge where people are actually killing each other over stupid toys that will lose all of their inflated, perceived value on December 26. The holidays can bring out the best or worst in us.

    What I usually do to alleviate it is something in the community. Each year, we blow a wad of cash at Kohl's to buy their Children's Hospital stuffed animals, which we then turn around and dump right into the Toys for Tots bin at the State Police. If community is what we desire, then it's a legacy of service we need to leave behind.
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