Connecting People

The other day I gave a few answers to what it was that I do. I left out all the details, because that sounded kind of boring, but I missed one important part, the piece of the puzzle that means the most to me. What I love most about what I do is connecting people.

Here’s a list of things that help me with that role in my life:

A Passion for People

It’s pretty hard to fake a love for people. I won’t go so far as to say you have to be born with it. I think someone can learn to love people. But it’s a pretty solid requirement for what I do that you love people, love learning about new people, and want to know more about passionate, energetic humans and what they’re doing.

Abundance Mentality

The phrase comes from Covey’sThe 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. An abundance mentality suggests that there’s plenty to go around. It’s the notion of “a rising tide raises all boats.” It’s the belief that if you and everyone nurtures the environment, good things will come to everyone eventually. No, not just by magic. There’s hard work involved. But the opposite of an abundance mentality is a scarcity mentality. “If that person gets a contract, I’ll never get it, so I better work harder than them.”

This goes a long way towards how I approach things. I believe that everyone gets their turn.

A Few Good Questions

First, it’s important to know what the people you meet are passionate about, and what it is they need to be successful in their business. Second, it becomes important to know who these people might want to meet in their travels, or what might be useful to their future desires. These questions, sprinkled into regular conversation, become useful to understanding what your friends and colleagues might need next in their own personal journeys.

I guess that’s important, too. It’s easier to naturally connect people once you realize that we’re all the star in our own stories. Think from the perspective of the people you’re talking with, on all sides, and that helps a great deal.

Remember Just Enough

More often than not, here’s the trickiest part. It’s about remembering something from another conversation at just the right time to be helpful to the current conversation. While talking with a friend who was visiting New York City, I told her she might check out another friend, who runs a great video content network. I just suspected there’d be something there. Sure enough, they really enjoyed meeting each other, and might even do business. Sometimes, it’s just knowing someone who does something that someone else needs. For instance, when I think of anyone needing help with technological marketing tools, I think of Chris Penn. When I think of someone wanting to better understand Second Life, I think of C.C. Chapman. Who’s the first person on my mind when I think, “How do I make a videoblog?” Steve Garfield.

On the other side of this equation, it’s easier to do this if you are known for something or if you promote one talent of yours over others. But hey, I work with a lot of diverse friends. It all gets sorted out.

Asking Others

Connecting also involves reaching out when you don’t know the answers yourself. I’ve made a career out of not knowing things. I find that it helps me learn even bigger things. The trick is asking. Ask. Ask all the time. Reach out and say, “Who here knows how to make a useful registration management system?” And see what comes back. Asking helps really open up the network.

What’s In It For Me?

My answer: nothing but a feeling of satisfaction and happiness when friends connect successfully. I love connecting people because I think it’s great to see wonderful, deserving people find their way to great experiences. Sure, if any of you become amazingly rich from something I helped with, remember me for your entourage. I’m not above carrying your poodle or whatever. But ultimately, I just think that with enough people helping each other, we’ll all find our way to our goals. Altruistic? I don’t think so.

What about you? What are YOUR skills for connecting people? What do you get out of it? And some folks aren’t connectors. If not, what do you say about your experience with connectors?