Get More Twitter Followers TODAY

August 6, 2009 · Comments

140 Characters Conference in New York Yes, that’s right! YOU can have hundreds and hundreds of new Twitter followers starting today, and it won’t cost you ONE CENT. That’s right. Free! You can have all the glory and benefits of more Twitter Followers (and followers=power, right?) without having to pay someone else, and without having to surrender your login and password to a third party source (who will then just spam all your existing followers with links to their site anyway). Are you ready?

Just be ready to follow these steps!

Get out your pen, your paper, and shut off the cell phone. You DO NOT want to be interrupted while I tell YOU (and don’t share this with your friends) how to get more Twitter followers TODAY!


Get More Twitter Followers TODAY

  1. Find great stories from other people and share them with a link (and/or attribution). Do this 3 times or more a day!
  2. Share useful information that others can use, too! example: “I’ve discovered that Blip.fm is very useful for sharing my musical interests.” (Bonus points if you provide the URL).
  3. Participate in online events that use #hashtags, because others in the event will find you and appreciate you, too!
  4. Respond to OTHER PEOPLE using the @reply method. This is advanced, so here’s an example: “@glendawh – Is it true you were out all night last night singing karaoke?”
  5. Use Twitter Search (http://search.twitter.com) to find people talking about the things YOU talk about, and follow them!
  6. Add your Twitter URL to your signature line in your email! (Easy to do!)
  7. Don’t overtweet (more than 20 a day is a bit spooky to most people).
  8. Don’t talk about your food (unless you’re me!)
  9. Don’t use Twitter like IM (use direct messages for that)
  10. Don’t tweet all about you: tweet all about them.
  11. And never, ever, ever invite your friends to be part of your Ninja dojo (unless you’re @cspenn), your mafia family (unless you’re @jgottinotdead), or to participate in a “what type of piercing am I?” quiz.

You’re Almost There!

Can you smell that new friend smell? I know I CAN!

You are almost at the top of the Twitter list, just by following the above steps!

Tell your Friends!

They can GET MORE TWITTER FOLLOWERS, too, if they just follow your lead!

NOW how much would you pay?

OR

Consider pre-ordering Trust Agents and supporting Chris and Julien Smith:

Trust Agents

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  • BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!

    If you do all this before midnight tonight, we'll throw in "SCAM-WOW", our automagic scam detector software! That's right -- a $12345 value, FREE!

    Just enter the secret code "IKNOWDICK" and we'll ship it right out to you.

    (Shipping and handling of $12345 will be applied to your PayPal account, your VISA card, your bank account and your permanent record.)
  • I bet this WONDERFUL offer is ONLY available in the US. Probably Chris's is only good in the US too. No fun for us Canadians.

    Darn it, if only there was a free electronic service that could be used virtually anywhere in the world and it contained all kinds of free applications I could use and communicate with all kinds of cool and interesting people all over the world.

    I'd pay for a service to help me do all that!!!

    But wait, I have no computer.... AND I don't know how to type :(
  • Don't forget the back end offers and forced continuity program, that's where the real money's at. ;)

    Great post Chris, very true words indeed.
  • raquel
    twitter.com/Raquelx_
  • digiphile
    Hi Friends! Chris knows how to make a product fly off the e-shelves of the Web Shopping Network, sure....

    But wait - did YOU go to Twitter and find it was DOWN? That's right, friends, the social networking phenomenon that has swept the nation is offline.

    Don't worry - we've got TWO great products for the price of ONE. You've all heard about getting more followers from Chris. Now, try

    Get More Friends On Facebook!!!!

    How much would YOU pay? $49.99? $39.99? $19.99?

    Nope...IT'S COMPLETELY FREE. If you stay tuned, he'll be on shortly.

    In the meantime, just write down your viewing habits and every interest or hobby you have (along with 20 friends that share them) and send it all to Facebook@Microsoft.com.

    Ever time one of them joins, you'll start getting a fraction of the IMMENSE ad revenue that sponsors are earning.

    Don't wait: EMAIL NOW!

    Disclaimer: If you find our program works for you after the first month, there will be a small $23.99 charge to your credit card made on the second Tuesday of each proceeding month. All sales are final. Your privacy and friends are not refundable. Enter Internet Get Followers Now schemes at your own risk. This message serves as a hint that any and copy that proceeded it is a satiric comment on a satiric post and in no way represents the views of its writer or his employers.
  • Chris, I just need you to tell me where to submit my credit card info, I'm assuming you are selling this as a weekend seminar as well for just $399 if I ACT NOW!!!

    On second thought, this method sounds like I'll actually have to spend time interacting with people and building relationships - nah, never mind. ;)

    well played.
  • michaelmartino
    Curse you Brogan, I was just about to release a new application that would get people millions of followers in seconds.

    People asked me if it was a get rich quick scheme -- of course it was, who wants to get rich slow :)

    As usual great post Chris.
  • Can you believe I thought @cspenn's dojo was a reference to the late actor Chris Penn and his towering performance in the martial arts classic Best Of The Best. Imagine my surprise at finding there is another Christopher Penn who is an actual certified ninja. Awesome!
  • graememac
    If you like the content here then you should check out Christopher Penn's & John Wall's podcast - marketing over coffee. Excellent show
  • Who? Which show?
  • graememac
    Marketing Over Coffee - www.marketingovercoffee.com
  • ELEVENTY BILLION TWITTER FOLLOWERS IN 3.68 SECONDS??

    CAN IT BE TRUE???

    $99.99?? Nope. $49.99?? Not on this Website! It's FREE, FREE, FREE!

    Nice post Chris, this is a different style than I'm used to for a Brogan article -- Fun reading.
  • motownmutt
    I almost unfollowed someone for posting a link to this. Good article, but that title seems a little too familiar.
  • That was the intent. It's a parody of those skanky ads.
  • Man, I hate it when you have to explain an obvious joke.
  • A good parody should not need to be explained. That said, this is a good parody.
  • motownmutt
    Right, no need to explain the obvious. Just letting you know that an itchy unfollow trigger finger nearly ended a two year follow for a moment there. Carry on.
  • teemorris
    I just caught this post (crazy week...) but in light of this parody, I'd like to share with you this NSFW parody site.

    http://www.socialmediadouchebag.net/

    I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard. Make sure you click on the top-right corner of the site when you're done reading. I am following this web designer on Twitter, and she's a riot!
  • The best part was the use of exclamation points!!!! Otherwise, I wouldn't have believed you!!!! Now, I know it must be true...!!!
  • lol !!!
  • Chris, you have outdone yourself :) This is great...

    http://twitter.com/deanholmes
    http://deanholmes.me
  • Chris,

    This article was a little too complicated for me.

    Maybe your team can invent a "FREE AUTO-FOLLOW TOOL" that would do all those things for me.
    {Without leaving the comfort of my leather "Seating Surfaces Only" home office chair!}

    The Franchise King
    Joel Libava
  • Now we're talking!
  • Chris,

    I would only want 10%.

    {Kukral would give me 20%]

    The Franchise king
    Joel Libava
  • hahaha Back to the Old School!!! :D hahaha Nice post, Chris. :D
  • Oh. my. word!!!!

    More followers?!?!?!?! For FREE?!?!?! This must be my lucky day!!! Who knew?

    Seriously, Chris. This was an awesome post.
  • RachelHappe
    I'm only in if I can slice & dice with it too - otherwise forget it!
  • Great post Chris, but isnt this what we all have been doing for the past 6 months? i´ve noticed its no just doing everything you mention, but it also takes some outside help. Just as the Authority Rules white paper mentions, its what other people say about you that makes you popular.
  • I had to search for a pen and paper! AND thanks to you I now know where my cell phone off button is. Can it be true? Can you really survive Twitter through seeking out quality connections based upon shared interests? Who knew :)
    Glad you did this. Even if it gets through to some of the number chases, you have done a great service.
  • But what if you WANT porno girls, real estate moguls, make money online gurus, viral marketing experts, and weight loss success stories to follow you?? ; ) Would be interesting to hear from you whether your spam followers increase after this post.
  • Good luck NOT getting those type of followers. Best I can tell they are just doing a search on any common word and following people who include that word in a tweet. Of course if you do want to collect those followers, then you can guess some of the words and phrases you should start using more often.
  • BUT WAIT THERE IS MORE......
  • All those auto-follower schemes.. when does someone invent auto-dis-follow autofollow schemes. I would pay for that!
  • joycemckee
    Thanks Chris - this is something I will share with some colleagues of mine. We were discussing this topic yesterday at lunch. And I will us it to gain more followers myself. I really appreciate your words, advice.
  • I'm glad you said it, and I'm glad you said it the way you did. Good stuff Chris!
  • Ew, that sounds downright legit!! :D :D :D
  • Good summary Chris, just hope everyone takes note
  • Ha! Love it! Thanks for the giggle ;)
  • I admit to not reading your blog often, but the sarcasm/humor in this one is almost palpable. Love it, it suits you :)
  • KellyMullaney
    Using that title in your tweets almost got me, not because you had "converted" to the dark side, but because for a moment I thought your twitter account had been hijacked as has happened to many. Good article, summary of good advice. Good ol' common sense advice, so much that we shouldn't need to tell!
  • Dripping with sarcasm, yet highly informative! I love it :)
  • You are right Chris! This will take more time but it's the real and steady way =)
    I do tweet a lot about food though.. Should be careful on that from now on!
  • However, if food is your "thing," then by all means tweet about it, as there are plenty of foodies on Twitter.
  • Well, I had a bad experience with thousandsoffollowers or some junk site like that. They were tweeting through my account almost everyhour OMG! Finally, I had to opt-out and change my password (coz their opt-out option was a farce!) to stop those annoying tweets. Again, even when people follow the above set of rules that you've outlined, there is a possibility that they will rely on some automation software like tweet-later to respond to the followers.. Lemme see if I can boost my followers in the next one week ;)

    Thanks for this post!
  • Other sites sell these SAME steps for HUNDREDS of Dollars!

    But you'll be getting all these steps I've already outlined and more!!!

    How much would you pay? $149 $249 $999 ?

    FIND STORIES

    I'll show you how to FIND great stories using ADVANCED search engine techniques like GOOGLE SEARCH and GOOGLE ADVANCED SEARCH!!!

    http://www.google.com/
    http://www.google.com/advanced_search

    BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!

    FIND EVENTS

    I'll show you how to FIND great events by using sites like Upcoming and Eventbrite!

    http://www.eventbrite.com/
    http://upcoming.yahoo.com/

    NOW HOW MUCH WOULD YOU PAY?

    BOSTON AREA READERS?

    ACT NOW and I'll throw in a list of Awesome Social Media Friday events happening on Aug 7th in Boston.

    That's right, a list of SEVEN events that you can tweet out to all your followers.

    Awesome Social Media Friday Aug 7th in Boston
    http://offonatangent.blogspot.com/2009/08/aweso...

    NOW HOW MUCH WOULD YOU PAY?
  • I'm confused. Isn't it better to automate everything? Game the system and avoid actually engaging the medium and... dare I say... the people who use it? Engaging them might take more effort and a little more time. That's lame. I just want everyone to follow me, they don't have to actually engage me. Bigger #'s stroke my ego and make me feel important + if I fake everyone else out with bigger #'s I can sell myself better as an "expert." Isn't that the way it's supposed to work? :)
  • Good article, kept it simple, because it is simple. Nice use of the Ashton call to action to bring me in here :)
  • nice job Chris.. atleast you did not fall for the stereotypic "lists of 10" .. I would have unfollowed you for sure if the title would have read something like "10 ways to earn more twitter followers"
  • Haha.

    This is too complicated, i rather pay 49.99999 and give them my credit card number. Because I want to be popular. These people are better! They also want to get to know my friends, so if I spread the word and get them new idiots to pay 49.999999, I will have a discount AND we are all networked, cause they know all my friends' details! BEAT THAT :)

    OK, seriously, funny post :-) And informative. Rock on!
  • C'mon, Chris. I love talking about food! And you forgot to highlight your ONE CENT deal in red. Make us see red.
  • Batman
    Great stuff, although, I still disagree with #7.... However, I may not want to be followed by most people :)
  • Everything must GO GO GO! For a limited time only, all this can be yours for 85 easy payments of $19.95. But WAIT. If you act now, we'll also throw in a free, YES FREE, subscription to the Interwebs! ;)
  • For those of us of a certain age you forgot one essential element in getting me to read:

    You May Have Already WON!!!!!

    Fortunately, I had some extra time and read anyway. OK, OK, extremely useful information. But did I win anything?
  • Eric Goebelbecker
    "Find great stories?" "Share useful information?" "Participate?"

    Where do I enter my credit card number so you'll do this stuff for me?
  • Great advice. I totally agree. Plus: I sent it via Twitter immediately - or rather after I had found the Twitter-Link unter "Share this". I would have loved to have a "Tweet this"-button right under the article.
  • Um, there is one. It says retweet. Maybe it didn't load?
  • DianeCourt
    Big, BIG smile to start the day :D (But there aren't any Ginzu knives?)
  • #7 surprises me, Chris. I'm guessing you tweet an average in the 3 figure range most days.

    But then you've always been a little spooky.
  • I didn't say *I* followed these. : )

    No, actually, I've cut way back in the last few months. Today is a bit skewed, but I'm wayyyyy down over the last 2 months.
  • I have noticed that I seem to attract more followers the more I tweet. On days with just a few tweets (and there are lots of them) I don't gain that many followers.

    Just a general trend I've seen though I haven't formally tested it. Not really sure why it would be the case either 'cause my tweets tend to be all over the place - from work related to silly personal stuff.
  • I see what you did there... :)

    Managing to make fun of both the people who *write* these types of services in one swipe, and, if I'm taking it the right way, making fun of the types of people who would *read* this sort of thing (or sign up for these services) in the next.

    Very impressive.
  • This is boiler plate stuff and the @aplusk name dropping on Twitter is a bit of a stretch for you unless you include, for example, Twitter spokesmodels and the campaign to 1M, donating 10,000 to malaria, publicly ding-dong-ditching CNN/Ted Turner, on-going tweets with other like celebs, like Diddy, continued Twitter centric Ustream videos, appearances on Larry King and other talk shows talking about Twitter, being on Twitter's SUL, be married to Demi, oh and it doesn't hurt to be part of That 70's Show, Punked, and a number of Hollywood movies.
  • Uh, that was the whole point of it, Benjamin. The whole thing was a joke against the get-followers-fast schemes that are out there.

    I'm not pooping on your fandom of Ashton. I'm sure he's wonderful.
  • I get it...just think it's silly. Not a fan of AK btw.
  • Sure you're not. : )
  • Great parody on this annoying Twitter phenomenon. However, I see some comments favoring automation to save time and avoid engagement....so why do Social Media at all? Have robots talk to robots for intellectual stimulation or for sharing interesting and valuable information?
  • Hopefully they get the parody and are carrying it into the stream.
  • beley
    Chris, I thought this was hilarious!

    When I first saw your post I honestly thought your account was hacked (I *JUST* got done reading that thousands of accounts were just hacked). But I figured it was probably satire and clicked through... great work. Good tips too :)
  • How fast will it happen if I have 4 accounts and 3 people working for me? Do I get a discount if I need it for more than 1 account?
  • caromorg
    Yael, careful, with this kind of powerful tool, multiplying it by accounts and people might cause you to go back in time...
  • Oh, NOW you have it!
  • Right on! Thanks for sharing this. Oh, and if you sign up for one of those other "services" to gete more followers. DON'T! Just take the time to do it thoughtfully.
  • Do I get a Snuggie, if I act before midnight?
    You know most people spend thousands of dollars and invest countless hours into workshops, seminars, and conferences to learn what is in this single post.

    This post does have a "Billy Mays" vibe.
    I am a huge fan of the late Billy Mays! He made the most mundane things interesting and was passionate about everything he did. He actually seemed to get some kind of "high" from people. God bless passionate people!

    I also like the way Amy Shuen says, "People add value". It's all about Relationships!
    People are amazing!

    Thanks for sharing Chris!
    Dan
  • Chris,

    Great post. What I like about it is that it doesn't give some magical formula full of automation and tweet overload of a bunch of bull crap. It highlights relevance and two-way communication. Personally I'm most interested in relevant followers, quality over quantity. I measure this by how many of my followers, I follow back. If they are relevant and I think we may have common interests I follow them, if not I move on. I also quickly un-follow anyone who DM's me some magic formula for more followers. Everyone is different. I prefer open communication with people who sit behind their keyboard and try to provide something they think is relevant and have a history of two-way dialogue.

    Keep 'em coming Chris! I love your blog!
  • Like I said via Twitter, Chris ... if you make an infomercial version of this, you need to sport a Billy Mays-style beard (colored with spray-on, goth-black haircolor from Hot Topic), and your wardrobe should include a "Wild Side" Snuggie and a ShamWow ad-style headset. Trying to figure out ways to include a few more "As Seen on TV" products in here.

    Ahh, the power of eating an entire bag of microwave-steamed veggies straight out of the bag. Now I know!
  • Great advise @ChrisBrogan. If more folks would follow these steps they would reap more rewards from twitter. I used to try and help those who I thought were just "newbies" and didn't realize you shouldn't ask for a "sale" before you build the relationship and help them with their business. Then I discovered some folks are so into the "numbers" they really don't care.
  • Roman Schlaepfer
    As I told you, Chris u made my day.

    Yesterday I thought about spending 499$ for followers but now I get it all for free. Thank you so much!

    No serious, the ones who didn't get it, it HAD to be a joke, chris tweeting with CAPS has to be a JOKE.

    Best of all was when @AmberCadabra joined the train, my twitter was full of "GET MORE FOLLOWERS FOR FREE!!!" :)

    For more sarcasm on web2.0. Fool the fools for a better world.
  • Do more followers really equal power?
  • Oh, Matthew Matthew Matthew. Did Obama win? Did @aplusk win?

    More = winners!!!!

    Especially in America, which means all the other countries will get there a little bit later than us, but that's okay.

    (No. More ENGAGED followers who care about you = power).
  • Went to this first in my reader and still smiling. Nice way vent some exasperation with Twittemania while presenting genuine advice to people.
  • Oh, Chris. It almost sounds like you are advocating common sense and good citizenship.
  • Can I get a large fries and a coke with this?
  • For $2.71 , I'll give you both a large fries *and* a coke for FREE!
  • America the Beautiful!!!
  • Sign me up! More followers means FAME! POWER! GLORY! I am positively a-tingle with thoughts of command I'll have over all of my flock. I can almost taste it.

    I have carefully addressed a self-addressed, stamped envelope (I decided to kick it old school) and am ready to send it, along with the full contents of my bank account, to "Yet Another Ridiculous & Senseless Ripoff", 123 D-Bag Ave., Dullardtown, MT.

    If I act now, can you double my offer? Or at least throw in a few tubes of Mighty Putty?
  • I think I know what your are trying to do here. But as a "trust agent" I think the whole "how many followers you have" thing is way out of control. Instead of being concerned about how people are following you the goal should be a "trust agent" and let the followers come as they may be.
  • Um, then you missed just a hair of the point. I'm parodying the 40% of my twitter stream that is filled with schemes that require money and people's passwords.

    Close, though.

    I don't think followers=power.
  • Satire: sat-ire [sat-ahyuhr] –noun

    1. the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc.
    2. a literary composition, in verse or prose, in which human folly and vice are held up to scorn, derision, or ridicule.
    3. a literary genre comprising such compositions.
  • I was thinking about the maximum amount of tweets one can send a day. Thanks for the advice I will try not to exceed this number!
  • I'm guessing you'll be changing your use to adhere to # 7 soon, then? ;-)
  • provirtual
    OMG... I just went to tweet this - and I cant access Twitter - nor can HootSuite...
    Anyone else??
  • wow.. thats really fantastic.. I am somewhat new to twitter and do about 10 15 tweets per day and that too personal tweets.. and with your help i can gather many more followers to my tweets..

    Can i have any benifit of having more and more followers?/ like can i earn from it anyhow?? i will be glad if you can answer my question..

    Thank You..
  • There are no benefits to more followers. There are many benefits to fewer followers.
  • It showed up for me. It's funny, I have gotten really used to the retweet button, I miss it when it's not on a site. How easy it is to get used to a good tool.
  • F'n hilarious... Sounds like a joke to start off...
  • I can smell that new friend smell!!! :-D
  • hiteshthakur034
    hi buddy.....ur study regarding twitter followers was really very amzing ...these facts were really unknown to me..Visit thetwittersecret.com/
  • Chris,
    Great tips. I wonder how many tips for Twitter usage are wandering around on the internet? It would be interesting to aggregate them all and see how many 'do's' and 'don'ts' we could find.

    PS - You didn't fool me. Even on few hours of sleep I knew you weren't really posting a spammy 'HOW TO GET MORE FOLLOWERS' (in all caps of course) list:)

    Maria
  • Grin
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