May 12, 2010 129 Comments

It’s Easy to Get Discouraged

mantis Getting discouraged is easy. There are negative people all around us, and it’s hard to pick out which ones are being constructive and honest versus those who are being jerks. What I find interesting is just how easy it is to let their opinion scuttle my mood for a while. That’s sure a lot of power I’m giving them. It’s easy to get discouraged.

Not Rocket Surgery

One repeat criticism of my work is that I’m not telling anyone anything new, that it’s all common sense. That’s actually reasonably true. You don’t spend time with me, read a few lines, and then smack your forehead and say, “I’ve got it!” Most of my ideas are basically reminders for us to do the things we don’t do, but know we should.

I’m okay with this criticism most days, because it’s true. I’m not innovating by creating new methods. I’m innovating by holding us to the standards of treating people like they’re human beings instead of prospects or targets. It’s not rocket surgery, as my Boston friends say.

Don’t Need a Pep Talk

I didn’t write this post to get your kind words of support. To be honest, I’m pretty confident that I’m headed in the right direction. For everyone telling me that I’m not all that interesting, I’m evidently the number 1 uninteresting guy writing about marketing.

What I wrote this piece for was to tell you that it’s easy to look at what you do as uninteresting, or unimportant, or just the same old thing. And maybe there’s some truth to it. If I look out at the top social media blogs right now, a good many of them are covering all the same software applications and a lot of the same stories. Maybe we could all dig a little deeper to innovate more.

But don’t let that stop you, if you’re following a vision, and if you’ve got a sense of where you’re headed.

Michael Jordan worked on the uninteresting task of pushing a ball through a net. Eleanor Roosevelt worked on the uninteresting task of writing articles and visiting people. Mohandas Gandhi worked on the uninteresting task of sitting down and saying no.

Me? I’m a typist. I’m just typing and talking about typing. And I’m not all that discouraged any more.

Photo credit woodleywonderworks

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  • http://jeffbullas.com Jeff Bullas

    Hi Chris Yes, it is hard to be motivated but if you are passionate about your subject and for me it is social media, then it is so much easier and the positive comments by people certainly keep you going.
    Keep up the great work

  • http://scrapsofmygeeklife.com scrappinmichele

    Perfect timing. I just spent a few weeks trying to figure out what I am doing. I have done a lot of soul searching on what I want to do. I feel like all the things I know are all just common sense and I have nothing new to add to the pot.

    However, after talking to others, I have discovered that often the things that are the most obvious need to be said. For example, last week I was listening in on a webinar and the speaker stated that she reads books by skimming and flipping around to the chapters that seem interesting to her. Sounds simple enough.

    For me, this was an “aha” moment. I always read a book cover to cover and I feel guilty if I do not read every word. Her statement was brilliant to me. Simple? Yes. The kind of thing you don't need to know how to perform rocket surgery to understand. But yet I can't stop telling everyone about it and I feel like I learned a new secret.

    And there is always going to be people out there who are just discovering social media and will discover the #1 most uninteresting guy and they will learn a lot.

  • http://scrapsofmygeeklife.com scrappinmichele

    Another point… I enjoy reading your blog and books because you really “get” social media and people and you genuinely care. I sense that you do this because you want others to have the same successes that you have had. As you learn, you share.

    So please keep sharing…

    • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

      We see eye to eye on this one, Michele. : )

  • http://scrapsofmygeeklife.com scrappinmichele

    Love that. And just think if you had said nothing, you would have missed out on an opportunity to shine.

  • http://scrapsofmygeeklife.com scrappinmichele

    LOL. I understand that. Google Analytics can be your bedtime friend and worst enemy. Kind of like the scale.

  • http://StanDubin.com standubin

    …and lucky you, you managed to generate some covert criticism right here in the comments. People who stand out and get things done generally do. There is that tendency to juggle between responding to the critics and trying to sort it out versus simply ignoring the attack (and more times than not, it is just that: an attack in the guise of constructive criticism.) Ignoring the criticisms can be very effective, as granting life to the critics seems to embolden them to criticize even more. When enough folks ignore their critical efforts, they eventually choose to be more social or they pick up their marbles and go elsewhere.

  • http://gamesbackup.co.uk/ r4

    I agree that It’s easy to get discouraged. but with help of our own self we can get out from all this very easily. And we have to understand our own value first. First love is self love. It is hard to be motivated but if you are passionate about something then you can do easily. Very interesting article, and help me lot. Ignoring the criticisms can be very effective and Sounds simple enough.

  • justinadward

    I can not understand that why people get discouraged before trying to do that. The article posted over here can help that type of people who get discouraged and they can get inspiration from it. According to me people should love first themselves and their good qualities then they can get confidence automatically.
    m3i zero

  • http://www.r4-carta.it/ r4i gold

    Well said Chris! The two words of encouragement is really very effective for a person.We find many people around us that try to discourage us and they might get success but a little encouragement gives the strength to carry on and to succeed.

  • jackypond

    However, the article ideas slowly begin to shut down but you need new articles to keep your earnings growing. You will actually have to start digging deep and researching hard to write great articles.
    flash drive

  • http://www.trainwithshane.com Deborah Shane

    Chris, Thanks for your authenticity here. We all get “stuck” and “discouraged”, it simply is a part of being human. There are very few people, who come at things from a completely innovative and new way. Maybe Lady Gaga, KISS, Beatles, Elvis, Charley Chaplin? Most people take existing ideas and frame them so that they resonate and move people in the present. You are one of them for me. No, your ideas may not be new, but they are fundamental and timeless and you are making all of us think more about who we are and how we connect with others. Thank you. Keep doing good work.

  • http://www.twitter.com/danieldecker Daniel Decker

    I work with several authors and hear some of that same criticism launched their way. Usually the critique is coming from people who aren't really doing much themselves so it's easy for them to just launch pot shots.

    Truth is rarely new. Truth is simple. I mean, “do unto others as you’d have done unto you” is nothing revolutionary but it’s not something everyone adheres to. Boy, if we all did… I can’t even imagine what the world might look like.

    Too often people think they are looking for something “innovative” but really they just need to apply what's already there and available. I think lots of people miss that. They dismiss the power of simple truths and end up loosing the basic fundamentals of what makes people like you a success at what you do and at who you are.

    Great coaches say it all the time. It's the core, the basics that matter most. If we mast those simple, uninteresting things, the other stuff comes more easily.

  • http://www.johnpaulaguiar.com John Paul

    Great post.. I think once you figure what you REALLY want, then going after it will much easier. Whether people think your interesting or not..

    people need to enjoy the process as much as they can, blogging, marketing, internet marketing growing an online biz is not that complicated.

    It takes some basic skills, and the desire and motivation to do it..

  • http://www.murraynewlands.com Murray

    My tip is to meet other bloggers online and offline, which is why I setup the London Blog Club and I find talking online with other bloggers very encouraging, and reading Chris Brogan.com ;)

  • Martin O'Brien

    Mr. Brogan,
    I have just spent a lot of time unsubscribing from my very bloated subscriptions to too many Internet Marketers' lists. I deleted over one hundred. Mea culpa! Mr. Brogan, you easily made it into my new slimmed down list of Internet Marketers I follow. Without even thinking I did NOT unsubscribe from you.

    • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

      Thanks, Martin. Glad to stay in your list. : )

  • http://www.robertpickstone.com Robert Pickstone

    Hi Chris,

    Getting discouraged is easy and there are negative people all around us. Allowing them to drag you down with them achieves nothing positive.

    As long as you're clear and comfortable about what you're doing, why you're doing it and you're happy with the value you're giving – then don't give them any of your power.

    I reacted to a sitiaution and wrote a similer blog post months ago.

    http://www.robertpickstone.com/2010/02/15/don%e…

    Don't let them drag you down, Chris.

    Rob

  • http://www.cccooperagency.wordpress.com Lynn C. Black

    Galatians 6:9-10, “And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith.”

  • julieroads

    Possibly my favorite CB post to date. And not only because I try so very hard to say 'rocket science' – I even pause and form the words in my mind – but it always comes out 'rocket surgery'. But because you may not be writing about never-heard-before things, but:

    1. You're writing them from your unique perspective – filled with your life history and experience. No one else can replicate that.
    2. You are applying these concepts to business in a way that is new – and also applicable to a billion other life processes.
    3. You have the uncanny ability to write and convey your meaning so that other people can understand. Not everyone can do that.

    Not a pep talk. Just fact…and true for all the good bloggers, share-ers and thinkers.

    • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

      That’s why we get along. : )

  • http://twitter.com/scottpdailey Scott P Dailey

    Wow Chris I think I got a little choked-up at the statement,

    “Mohandas Gandhi worked on the uninteresting task of sitting down and saying no. Me? I’m a typist. I’m just typing and talking about typing.”

    I am taking my time doing it, but am nearly ready to go live with my first blog. I cannot tell you how much of the exercise in beginning one has been working through my self-doubt. And the majority of my reservations stems from the reality that new media is a well covered blog topic already. I have struggled mightily with the “what can I possibly offer this subject?” internal dialogue. But when I read your post, I am suddenly validated. I can exhale. As an aside, it's just plain nice to see that you pay your readers back for your success by reminding them that their fears, while totally reasonable, are fears, not roadblocks. There's a massive difference between observing the annoying and becoming annoyed by them, as you nicely point out. Likewise, there is as big a difference between being fearful of mediocrity and deciding that being so is a reason to pass the torch to someone else. This post reminds me at a key stage in development as a new blogger to press on and pay no mind to the noisy reservations buzzing away in my brain. Thanks Chris. This was a treat.

    • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

      You’re worth it, Scott. : )

  • http://byronmiller.typepad.com Ron Miller

    As I like to tell people, Chris, I'm just a humble scribe. Keep on keeping on. You're doing just fine. As my mom used to be fond of saying, “The bastards seem to follow you wherever you go.”

    Ron

  • http://twitter.com/GaryDayEllison Gary Day-Ellison

    You are a Mojo-Mender!

  • http://www.facebook.com/shelli.johnson Shelli Johnson

    GREAT POST. LOVE IT. Hey, Chris, one of my few talents is my ability to type. Fast. I can type 150 words per minute. We should co-type or co-keyboard something! : > That would be fun. Seriously. Anyway, thanks a lot for this.
    Have a super day,
    Shelli

  • http://www.facebook.com/shelli.johnson Shelli Johnson

    Thanks for this post, Chris. I appreciate it. BTW, typing is one my few talents. I type a lot. Fast. 150 words a minute. We should co-type something. That would be fun. Seriously. Thanks again for this. As usual, I appreciate your insights and sharing. Have a super day. High 5s from the frontier of Wyoming. : >

  • biansalins

    Hello Chris,

    Isn't it amazing to get reinforcement of how super you are?

    You know, social media (and the web) has thrown up all kinds of genius and as a start up freelance writer myself, I soak it all in. But genius comes in different forms and while there are authorities on almost every subject you can find, there aren't many who are true to who they are. I think that's what sets you apart.

    Ultimately, this is not a race for celebrity (you wouldn't want that, it's too superficial and short lived) – it's about having the power to connect beyond boundaries. Everyone wants it, a majority chase after it and a handful achieve it. You have it. Enjoy it.

    Take care now,
    Bian

    • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

      Celebrity alone doesn’t pay the mortgage. Know far too many folks in that boat.

  • ShellyKramer

    Hey Chris,

    This was one of the first things I read this morning as I played catch up in my reader. I thought it was going to be some kind of inspirational crap (no offense, but I wasn't in the mood for inspiration since I've not yet had my coffee). In fact, it was not that at all. It was waaaaay better.

    There are jerks everywhere. Jerks who are doing stuff and jerks who are not. And as we both know, it's infinitely easier to be a jerk, or an armchair quarterback, and criticize others than it is to actually get up and DO something, STAND for something or BE something. Easier to just diss others who are doing that, bitch about what they charge, gripe about how omnipresent they seem to be and, in essence, find fault in just about everything you do.

    I'm sitting at my uninteresting kitchen table, typing a note to you on my uninteresting laptop after taking my waaaay interesting kids to school. Now I'm gonna push up my sleeves and help my clients grow their businesses and do other cool things. And, unless I'm mistaken dude, that's what you're in the business of doing, too. What an amazingly uninteresting yet magnificent way to spend our days. I can't think of anything I'd rather be doing.

    And for the naysayers – well, I don't really care, and I know you don't either.

    Hope you have a damn good day!

    Shelly
    @shellykramer
    http://v3im.com

    PS And I think @superdumb said it all! Love her comment.

  • http://twitter.com/jtroia James Troia

    Chris – I appreciated this post very much as a someone relatively new to blogging. I don't blog nearly as much as I could simply because I don't feel like I'm being “innovative” enough in my thoughts. As an entrepreneur who is often focused on radical innovation, providing my take on the iPad just doesn't seem to hit the mark. My guess is your comment might be to just get over it and join the conversation!

  • http://garybloomer.com/ GaryBloomer

    Chris,

    Common sense in marketing? Heresy!

    Seriously though, common sense in marketing is most notable today by its absence, not because
    it's shouted from the rooftops. As for the critics? Sigh … let them rant and rave. There's no sense
    in knocking when the lights are out: no one's home!

    I've written more about critics, new thinking in marketing, and how it all connects to … of all things, the movie The Matrix on my blog. I'd appreciate people's thoughts, comments, and feedback. Any takers?

  • http://twitter.com/neillehoffman Neille Hoffman

    I love the following line from your post today… “I’m innovating by holding us to the standards of treating people like they’re human beings instead of prospects or targets.” – To me you are reinforcing and reminding us of what we (may) already know. It is like having a good friend that you can turn to when you forget what it's all about and you need to remember to step away from the negativity and step back out into the light.

  • susangiurleo

    Thanks for the reminder, Chris. I do let others bad attitudes sometimes get me down. There is so much “no” out there. It is so much easier to be negative and much,much harder to move the wheel forward. I keep telling myself that sitting in other people's negative space didn't get me where I am and to move forward I need to shake it off and keep actually moving. I know you get it…I'm just talking to myself here :-).

  • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

    You're talking to people who care about you. It's *like* talking to yourself, only we hear you.

    • Anonymous

      Thanks, Chris and Michele, support from others moving in the same direction really helps! It’s good to be heard and I appreciate you taking time to let me know…..

  • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

    That's it, basically. I just can't abide feeling like a number any more.

  • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

    Share the URL, Gary. Lots of folks might check that out. @Julien and I wrote about The Matrix in Trust Agents, too. Clearly that movie resonates.

  • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

    Definitely take a swing at it. See how you'll do it differently. Give a whole new approach, but that doesn't have to be over-thought.

  • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

    Shelly – I have a good day any time you visit me. : )

    • Anonymous

      LOL. I stalk you often – I need to comment more. And you ain’t no numbah,
      baybe :)))

  • http://garybloomer.com/ GaryBloomer

    Chris, I wasn't sure what your policy on links in posts was. Thanks for giving me the green light. Your support is GREATLY appreciated and it's VERY COOL of you to offer me this. Here's the URL to my post from this morning and my take on critics, “new-ish” thinking in marketing, and how it all connects to … of all things, the movie The Matrix

    http://garybloomer.com/2010/05/chris-brogan-tal…

  • mcasey

    my discouragement depends on the weather and how many times my biz phone rings. keep on it, Chris — you're keeping many of us sane.

  • michaelrstewart

    Pioneers are neither understood nor appreciated until long after their important work is finished. When the wagon trains were rolling west, there was always a lonely wagon master out in front, blazing new trails, imparting wisdom and keeping the settlers safe from marauders. The only detractors sat behind their comfortable journalistic desks in St. Louis, scribbling their thoughts, but never taking any risks. I have been wandering around Internet country for nearly twenty years, and I, for one, am grateful that there a few brave souls like you still leading.

  • http://www.ManishaThakor.com ManishaThakor

    One of the most refreshing aspects of the web is the ability for people to vote every single day (through subscribing & unsubscribing) on whether or not they find a particular person's content valuable.

    Personally, Chris, my morning coffee just doesn't taste right unless I'm drinking it while reading your daily thoughts. Your posts are enormously helpful… to me. Your content, tone and delivery resonate greatly… with me. And clearly with 200,000+ folks CHOOSING to read your work, that feeling is being repeated around the globe.

    So thank YOU for your pep talk today to those of those of us who willingly choose to read your work – because, let's face it, life has road bumps & it is so @$#$^ easy to get discouraged (I was experiencing that exact feeling about my work before reading your post… and now I'm re-energized to push that thought out of my mind).

    As for basic – well, it's a mastery of the basic concepts of business & life that enable people to create work that makes a difference in their spheres of interest over the long run. So big karmic hug of gratitude to you, Chris Brogan, for all that you do – keep on keeping on!

  • pamsaia

    I have found that discouragement is only offered when jealousy is the actual root. That you are actually going in the direction you are espousing makes those of us who are not yet moving jealous. So they attempt to slow you down with discouragement. I used to point that out to my son when he was offered words of opposition rather than support. He is pretty good at spotting them now. Just keep moving :)

  • pamsaia

    I have found that discouragement is only offered when jealousy is the actual root. That you are actually going in the direction you are espousing makes those of us who are not yet moving jealous. So they attempt to slow you down with discouragement. I used to point that out to my son when he was offered words of opposition rather than support. He is pretty good at spotting them now. Just keep moving :)

  • ShellyKramer

    Hey Chris,

    This was one of the first things I read this morning as I played catch up in my reader. I thought it was going to be some kind of inspirational crap (no offense, but I wasn't in the mood for inspiration since I've not yet had my coffee). In fact, it was not that at all. It was waaaaay better.

    There are jerks everywhere. Jerks who are doing stuff and jerks who are not. And as we both know, it's infinitely easier to be a jerk, or an armchair quarterback, and criticize others than it is to actually get up and DO something, STAND for something or BE something. Easier to just diss others who are doing that, bitch about what they charge, gripe about how omnipresent they seem to be and, in essence, find fault in just about everything you do.

    I'm sitting at my uninteresting kitchen table, typing a note to you on my uninteresting laptop after taking my waaaay interesting kids to school. Now I'm gonna push up my sleeves and help my clients grow their businesses and do other cool things. And, unless I'm mistaken dude, that's what you're in the business of doing, too. What an amazingly uninteresting yet magnificent way to spend our days. I can't think of anything I'd rather be doing.

    And for the naysayers – well, I don't really care, and I know you don't either.

    Hope you have a damn good day!

    Shelly
    @shellykramer
    http://v3im.com

    PS And I think @superdumb said it all! Love her comment.

  • matmaynor

    Chris you're correct. You don't provide anything really innovative, but frankly neither does anyone else, including me. BUT, what you do provide is insightful and instructive. A man far wiser than myself, King Solomon, once said that there is nothing new under the sun and that too is true. We just repackage stuff every generation and make it look new. I would encourage you to take credit where it's due, because you have made a tremendous impact on the world around you. I know you have in my life. I was laid off from a major corporation and it was largely your and Gary V's writings and collective encouragements to us all that led me to take the leap. Keep up the good work and not innovating for us. It's refreshing and useful.

  • http://scrapsofmygeeklife.com scrappinmichele

    ok, I'm gonna get a little hokey now, but it seemed appropriate. :D I try to remember that when I let the nay-sayers get me down, I'm giving them control of my emotions. I don't want that! It's there problem anyhow, not mine! I'm working real hard to Learn to “shake it off.”

    oh, and I heard you too!

  • maureenmetcalf

    Thanks for making the connection between perfecting our “craft” when following our vision. I find a huge difference between doing the mundane when it is aligned with something I value and doing mundane tasks because someone will pay me. The former is pertty easy and fun – the same task could be painful if I had no vision or passion.

    It is also nice to hear that top performers get discouraged too. Thanks for sharing your personal experience.

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  • http://www.byanofsky.wordpress.com Brandon Yanofsky

    The best teachers are those who show you things you already know in a new light. That's what you do all the time with your posts.

    I've been dealing with my own share of critics over an article written about a contest I entered. (http://jan.freedomblogging.com/2010/05/10/which…)

    Like my comment says, these people just drive me to do more. I'm sure it's the same for you Chris. Thanks for the posts.

  • http://www.EasyLunchboxes.com Kelly Lester

    You're number one (in my book and so many others!) because you say it like it is and do your own thing. So strong Chris. THAT's why I keep reading and coming back for more. Your unique voice is invaluable and you're #1 on my ridiculously short list of daily must reads. Thank you for everything you're doing and sharing.

  • CatPurry

    It is easy to get discouraged when negative people are harping away at you every day. You have a vision that keeps you going in a positive direction and that makes all the difference. What you are telling us may be common sense to some, but a lot of it is news to me, or at least a timely reminder so I read you every day. My good friend Danna Crawford (aka PowerSellingMom on eBay) has started a new site called RunDramaRun.com. The idea is for positive thinking people to leave positive thoughts on her site where we can all go for inspiration when the drama queens and kings are harping on us. She has a vision of over 100 bloggers making little posts on a regular basis and I know she would love to have you make a remark or two.

  • http://twitter.com/ginarafkind ginarafkind

    Thanks Chris, I needed this too! I recently received two separate comments by one person. What this person said was really mean and they said nasty things about one of my posts. When I first read it, I was thinking how sorry I felt for this person if this is how they really live life. Then it did get to me for a bit and I guess you can say I felt discouraged. And then I came back to center again and realized it really had nothing to do with me at all.

    There are lots of negative people in the world and while I do not mind various opinions, (I rather enjoy hearing others' opinions) I just mind, or I should say, I rather not listen to certain opinions when they are given in an uproaring-ranting-I'm better than you, kind of way.

    Thanks again for this. I guess it won't be the last negative, mean thing someone says. And I'm glad I don't stay discouraged for long.

    I'm also glad you don't stay discouraged for long either because I like the way you 'type' things :). People do say things in different ways, even though these things may have been said by others forever. Look at spiritual teachers – there are so many out there and many of them are saying the same things but in different ways – and we are all different and therefore resonate differently with people…..this is the way the world goes round…….thanks!

  • joywilder

    Most things in life are common sense, aren't they? A testament to this notion is the book “All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten”. Let's face it – we know most of the stuff we need to know but forget it along the way.

    Bottom line? Do what you love. MikeJ bounced a basketball. You “type”. If you do what you love and combine it with what you learned in Kindergarten you will succeed.

    Great article.

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