January 18, 2010 77 Comments

More Fun Than Competition

potato race I have this weird flaw, or at least some people call it a flaw. I’m not especially competitive. I can be. But more often, I’m in a completely different race than the people around me. I’m not sure when I started thinking this way, but it’s fairly evident from my life from as far back as I can recall that I never did care about who came in which place.

Instead, I prefer to compete with myself.

When I win business that other digital media groups were also trying for, I never think of it as winning from them. Instead, I just feel like I finally got a proposal to sound even a third as enthusiastic as I sound in person. When someone else gets a great big feature in a magazine, instead of feeling angry or sad or like I lost, I think to myself about how I can achieve more and deliver more results, so that it’s obvious next time that I be called for a story.

Competing with one’s self is far more fulfilling. You control more of the variables. If you want to find more success, throw yourself into your work, into doing big things that matter, into helping your clients succeed. That’s so much easier to conceptualize than thinking about racing against some other person or group.

If you’re trying to catch up to my numbers (and ask yourself why, because the numbers aren’t what matter as much as how you leverage them), you can’t control what I’m doing. So, every little variable I add messes up your effort to catch up or pass. Meanwhile, you’re not paying as much attention to you as you are to me, and are thus not focused on the part you can change the most.

No one ever won a race looking sideways.

Remind yourself of this often. Competition was given to us by our overlords. It was put in place because in situations where someone fabricates a competition, invariably, a third party benefits from BOTH parties’ efforts more than you. Most times, when you’re feeling competitive, you’re being played.

So instead, work within yourself. Work your variables. Work on those things you can change. Work to improve your skills, your thinking, your ability to serve, and your capacity to complete more than you could before. Execute. There are so many talkers that by just doing, you get the chance to win.

It’s much more fun this way. Believe me.

Photo credit peregrine blue

Related posts:

  1. Overnight Success 4 – The Competition
  2. Competition for Intensity

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  • thejcrawford

    Excellent point. It used to annoy me when competitors copied my work (or even lifted and “re-purposed” it). Now when that happens I think, “wow — I must be doing something right.” I agree with you that it's more fulfilling to look ahead to the next client project versus over one's shoulder.

  • thejcrawford

    Great advice, Chris. When asked whether he paid attention to what other poets were writing, T. S. Eliot replied “No.” Pressed, he elaborated: “Well. . .if it's like what I'm doing, it's confusing. And if it isn't, it's irrelevant.” Which I think was his way of saying don't waste your time looking over your shoulder.

  • http://www.simrendeogun.com/ Simren Deogun

    Thanks for the insight Chris. I am in many ways the opposite of you in that I consider myself quite a competitive person. I do care about the numbers, the rankings and the outcome but I think I'm also very much aware of how that competition serves my betterment more than anyone else's. It's being conscious of that which keeps me focused on me.

  • http://www.flavors.me/rd Ryan Dawidjan

    Great personal observation and insight Chris.

    I would highly recommend checking out Seth Godin's post on benchmarking.
    http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2004/05…

    “Yes, benchmarking is terrific. Benchmarking is the reason that cars got so much better over the last twenty years. Benchmarking has the inexorable ability to make the mediocre better than average, and it pushes us to always outperform.

    But it stresses us out. A benchmarked service business or product (or even a benchmarked relationship) is always under pressure. It’s hard to be number one, and even harder when the universe we choose to compare our options against is, in fact, the entire universe.”

  • http://www.thanhdlu.com/ Thanh

    Internal reflection is the best source of motivation and comfort. When every else falls, you only have yourself. Competing with yourself is a good reminder!

  • cgreen23

    This is one of those profound truths about business today.

    Those of us in business (I went the MBA route) have been inculcated in a way of thinking that suggests competition is the seat of all value. Based on something of a misreading of Adam Smith, this idea has come to be celebrated way out of proportion, because business has mistaken the race for the reward.

    The point–I mean the big, social, economic, system point–is not to win, it's to compete to get better. Precisely what you're saying.

    We all need to get better at doing what we do; doing “better than” the other guy is simply a crude proxy for progress–and misses the point besides.

    Thanks for highlighting this Big Truth.

  • julieannejones

    I love this post. 1/2 way though 2009 I made the decision to unsubscribe from all of my competitor's e-mail lists and completely stop focusing on anything they were doing. It didn't matter a lick to what I was planning and I found any time I received a marketing e-mail from one of them, I felt like I was somehow not on the right track and questioned myself.

    Once I applied the concept that there's plenty in the Universe to go around and the only plan that deserved any of my valuable time was mine, my business exploded. Plus, I'm much happier (because, unlike you Chris, I'm very competitive and activating that in myself every day by worrying about what my competitors were doing wasn't healthy for me).

    Thanks as always for your insight and wisdom. You just simply rock!

  • greeblemonkey

    Here is my weirdness. I am mostly in a race with myself and am OK with it. But if I don't like the race or how I am doing in it, I start a new one. ;)

  • thepowerofsmall

    Cindy, it's great to hear that our NICE philosophy struck a chord with you! And Chris, we love your message!

  • strugglinginvestor

    I grew up competing athletically with and against others. I always found that people who didn't care to compete with others did so because they always lost and grew tired of the bad feeling it gave. Competition is what drives us to do better, whether you are competing against someone else or yourself it's all really for the same reason. That reason is to motivate yourself to do better. Does it really matter where that motivation comes from, if the end goal is to better yourself?

    Don't get me wrong with what I'm saying, there is nothing wrong with not being motivated by beating someone. But I would definitely not say that an internal competition with yourself is better then an external competition with your friend or some random guy on the street. It doesn't matter how you get there (as long as it's legal and morally right), it matters if you get there.

    Good topic

  • christinakatz

    This was an interesting read. I liked that you revealed something about yourself that some might see as a weakness but you just accept as something that is. I thought that was a good example. Heartily agree with the last line… :)

  • http://hi.im/ideathinker ideathinker

    very true indeed, the most satisfaction comes from beating one's own expectations

  • remarkablogger

    I love this message, thanks! To constantly compare yourself to others is to be controlled by them, instead of being in control of yourself.

  • http://elizabethpottsweinstein.com ElizabethPW

    You know what's really weird … is that some of the people I used to compare myself too, that I thought I was behind … were actually comparing themselves to me & thought they were behind me! rflol

  • http://www.brandensilva.com/ Branden

    I remember being super competitive in high school and thinking I had to be better than others to be successful, but ain't that far from the truth. Glad you pointed out that competing against yourself is the most important thing you can do. I found I gained a lot better ground when I just focused on myself and avoided the hype. After growing up, I realized that you will never be the best in the world because time always prevails and someone will always surpass you and that your throne that you clinched so tightly, will be spread out amongst other people.

    People who competing against others are stuck on themselves. People who compete against themselves are the ones succeeding.

  • http://www.mouthoftheborder.com emilyspearl

    I heartily agree, Chris. Anytime I do feel myself feeling competitive, I have to refocus on myself and wonder why I'm worried about what other people are doing instead of investing that mental energy in myself and my work. Not about the numbers, popularity, press, followers … any of that. What matters is content, output and engagement. Success is doing the work, and doing work that you're proud of.

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  • http://www.edibletorah.com/ Leon Adato

    Thank you so much for reassuring me that I'm not the only one in the world with this view.

    When you go to a resturant, nobody ever says “it's chef vs wait staff, 6-3″.

    When you go to a movie, play or concert the performers are never competing against the director, conductor, costume designer, etc.

    Driving on the road during rush hour, if somone “loses” (ie: crashes) everyone loses (traffic jam).

    So often in life things are NOT a competition. So rarely are there really situations where one person MUST win and another MUST lose. Maybe job interviews, but even then it's about finding the right fit between employer and employee, not about beating the other guy. Maybe in law, but even then it's usually more about making sure all the evidence is presented fairly, that due process is followed, and that the law *as written* is applied correctly to this situation.

    Oh yeah. There's always football.

    In sports, there is always the person/team who is “defeated” and labeled “the loser” and those who “conquer” and are labeled “the winner”. Neither is a particularly fun position to be in, because even the winner is placed in a precarious position of having to “defend” themselves even though (as you point out) each race/competition/game is it's own set of variables.

    But sports is so much a part of our conciousness (go to a typical business meeting and just see how many sports idioms and cliche's are used on average) that we see everything as a “winner take all” battle of wills. Accounting versus IT, where the winner will probably try to take on HR for the pennant. Or whatever.

  • http://www.businessforesights.com Vincent

    Chris, you are not flawed, and neither am I :-) or many others, albeit it seems we are in a minority. That in itself is a competitive advantage.

    To help your reasoning further, I'd like to contribute something I read many years ago that literally gave me goose pimples as it made me realise I was 'not the only one'.
    John Wooden – Basketball Coaching Legend:
    n Coach Wooden's last twelve years as coach, UCLA won ten National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA) championships. In the 27 years he led the Bruins, they never had a losing season. Their record of 88 consecutive winning games will probably never be surpassed.

    His basic principles for success revolve around ensuring his players always did their absolute best according to their own capabilities. Even if they won, but noticed some players didn't play their best, he would have a serious discussion with those individuals and express he was not happy with their performance.

    One of his famous quotes:
    “Success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best to become the best you are capable of becoming.”

    “Peace of mind attained only through self satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to become the best of which you're capable. Now, we're all equal there. We're not all equal as far as intelligence is concerned. We're not equal as far as size. We're not all equal as far as appearance. We do not all have the same opportunities. We're not born in the same environments, but we're all absolutely equal in having the opportunity to make the most of what we have and not comparing or worrying about what others have (1934).”

    “… just try to make the most of what you have under the conditions that exist for you and try to improve those conditions. No one can do more than that.”
    http://www.achievement.org/autodoc/page/woo0int-2

    Hope that helps and inspires others.

    - Vincent

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  • http://www.zoombits.co.uk/memory-cards/compact-flash/integral-32gb-100x-compactflash-memory-card/10861 buy 32gb compact flash

    I enjoy competing, no matter what it is, and I enjoy winning even more. The point of a game or sport is to win, and that's what I strive to do. Monopoly is a beast of a game and will last well past the kids’ bedtimes because someone wanted to play nice. That is unacceptable! If you have the kill shot, take it.

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  • http://www.yuregininsesi.com sesli sohbet

    I love this post. 1/2 way though 2009 I made the decision to unsubscribe from all of my competitor's e-mail lists and completely stop focusing on anything they were doing. It didn't matter a lick to what I was planning and I found any time I received a marketing e-mail from one of them, I felt like I was somehow not on the right track and questioned myself. Once I applied the concept that there's plenty in the Universe to go around and the only plan that deserved any of my valuable time was mine, my business exploded. Plus, I'm much happier (because, unlike you Chris, I'm very competitive and activating that in myself every day by worrying about what my competitors were doing wasn't healthy for me).
    Thanks as always for your insight and wisdom. You just simply rock!

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