Namecalling

left There’s a funny thing that happens when you make a list. People want to see if they’re on it. If they are, they feel pleased (or smug, or vindicated, or several other emotions). If they are not, they ask to be on it, they make sidelong comments about not being on it, they wonder if it’s a clique or a “cool kids table” kind of thing from school.

In the case of the list above, it was intended to be helpful. I find it helpful. I found a few other people that I’ve yet to pay attention to that add to the information mix of what we learn about on the web. There are some really great names on there. And then, I’m on there, so it makes me feel good.

It’s the same if you list companies. I, for instance, intend to write up the kinds of social software platforms I recommend most often to people. I know that when I publish the list, I will hear from several companies who feel I surely made a mistake by not including them on the list.

When writing a blog post, sometimes we include people as examples. Sometimes, that’s a flattering thing. Other times, we’re throwing a few extra people under the bus.

When we call names, we exclude. When we don’t, we are too bland and neutral. I don’t think there’s a way to do it without someone feeling offended, excluded or otherwise.

What do you feel when you see lists where you think you belong and you don’t find yourself there? How do you proceed? How do these lists help you, or do they?

Photo credit, foundphotoslj

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  • http://www.adversityuniversityblog.com Stephen Hopson

    I find this subject to be an interesting topic because it pertains to the notion that all of us want to be accepted and listed among others who are perceived to have a certain good reputation.

    I am aware of how I feel when I see my name listed among people who are respected. Of course, it makes me feel good to be on that list because subsconsciously it’s a way of getting validated. Every human being on this planet wants some kind of validation.

    That’s why if they think their name should be on some kind of list, whether they realize it or not, if the list is considered “Who’s Who…..”, they are going to feel somewhat miffed.

    I am painfully aware of this human characteristic trait when writing on my blog. I’m the kind of person, like you, to recognize people and give them credit where due but I cannot possibly list everyone. So I have to take great care in the selection of those who will be listed. Often times, I’ll write in something like “these names are listed in random order or I’ll say they were randomly selected (maybe names pulled out of a hat or something like that).

    Interesting subject, to be sure. One other thing. When someone like you recognizes a person, I would venture to say that person feels GREAT because of who you are. You are perceived to be a celebrity in this field you’re in. It’s all a matter of perception, isn’t it?

  • http://www.adversityuniversityblog.com Stephen Hopson

    I find this subject to be an interesting topic because it pertains to the notion that all of us want to be accepted and listed among others who are perceived to have a certain good reputation.

    I am aware of how I feel when I see my name listed among people who are respected. Of course, it makes me feel good to be on that list because subsconsciously it’s a way of getting validated. Every human being on this planet wants some kind of validation.

    That’s why if they think their name should be on some kind of list, whether they realize it or not, if the list is considered “Who’s Who…..”, they are going to feel somewhat miffed.

    I am painfully aware of this human characteristic trait when writing on my blog. I’m the kind of person, like you, to recognize people and give them credit where due but I cannot possibly list everyone. So I have to take great care in the selection of those who will be listed. Often times, I’ll write in something like “these names are listed in random order or I’ll say they were randomly selected (maybe names pulled out of a hat or something like that).

    Interesting subject, to be sure. One other thing. When someone like you recognizes a person, I would venture to say that person feels GREAT because of who you are. You are perceived to be a celebrity in this field you’re in. It’s all a matter of perception, isn’t it?

  • http://donotreadthisblogunless.blogspot.com/ Nicholas Chase

    Chris,

    How true! Now my name is soon to be added to the dot com lifestyle meltdown.

    I was ‘the video guy’ at BlogWorld Expo 2008.

    I volunteered my videography services to BlogWorld, in the hope that I could receive some personal wise counsel, from thought-leaders as yourself, in my on-line business direction and focus.

    Your panel(s) were thought-provoking and informative, Thank you!

    Been blogging for three months, with eight blogs and counting, and winning the Market Leverage dinner with Shoemoney and John Chow was awesome for a newbie like me.

    I did not want to share my financial difficulties at such an upbeat, energizing and lively event.

    Now our family are at a crossroads, corporate America is not calling as often, capital expenditures have tanked due to the economy, and blogging has resurrected my long dormant writing skills.

    My core skill set and engineering expertise is in senior technical project management and broadcast systems design engineering.

    Do you have any suggestions to ramp-up my income by writing eZine article, HubPages or should I forget the whole thing?

    Respectfully,

    Nicholas – ‘the video guy’ at BlogWorld Expo 2008

  • http://donotreadthisblogunless.blogspot.com/ Nicholas Chase

    Chris,

    How true! Now my name is soon to be added to the dot com lifestyle meltdown.

    I was ‘the video guy’ at BlogWorld Expo 2008.

    I volunteered my videography services to BlogWorld, in the hope that I could receive some personal wise counsel, from thought-leaders as yourself, in my on-line business direction and focus.

    Your panel(s) were thought-provoking and informative, Thank you!

    Been blogging for three months, with eight blogs and counting, and winning the Market Leverage dinner with Shoemoney and John Chow was awesome for a newbie like me.

    I did not want to share my financial difficulties at such an upbeat, energizing and lively event.

    Now our family are at a crossroads, corporate America is not calling as often, capital expenditures have tanked due to the economy, and blogging has resurrected my long dormant writing skills.

    My core skill set and engineering expertise is in senior technical project management and broadcast systems design engineering.

    Do you have any suggestions to ramp-up my income by writing eZine article, HubPages or should I forget the whole thing?

    Respectfully,

    Nicholas – ‘the video guy’ at BlogWorld Expo 2008

  • http://www.deswalsh.com Des Walsh

    First, congratulations Chris on being on the list. We all like to be noticed.

    I’m always amazed when people respond publicly to such lists with – as one actually did and others in so many words with a “what am I, chopped liver?” My attitude is, if she/he didn’t notice, she/he didn’t notice, get over it. But I guess I understand the point made here by Beth Dunn – better to speak up than nurse a grudge.

    Still, for any list acknowledging me as of being interesting for someone I’d like to have been top of mind in the first place.

    I think there’s a third option, as indicated by Julie Bonner, the “try harder” option.

    Then too, there is the principle espoused by 4 Hour Work Week’s Tim Ferriss (BlogWorld08 keynote) to work on being interested rather than interesting.

    I can be dispassionate about The Scobleizer’s list because I’m not a techie :).

  • http://http Des Walsh

    First, congratulations Chris on being on the list. We all like to be noticed.

    I’m always amazed when people respond publicly to such lists with – as one actually did and others in so many words with a “what am I, chopped liver?” My attitude is, if she/he didn’t notice, she/he didn’t notice, get over it. But I guess I understand the point made here by Beth Dunn – better to speak up than nurse a grudge.

    Still, for any list acknowledging me as of being interesting for someone I’d like to have been top of mind in the first place.

    I think there’s a third option, as indicated by Julie Bonner, the “try harder” option.

    Then too, there is the principle espoused by 4 Hour Work Week’s Tim Ferriss (BlogWorld08 keynote) to work on being interested rather than interesting.

    I can be dispassionate about The Scobleizer’s list because I’m not a techie :).

  • http://www.budgetpulse.com Craig

    When I see a list and our competitors are on it and I am not, I think of what I can do to get my company on the list for the next cover story. I begin by first observing the competitors and seeing what they do differently and how our company supplies different benefits for our niche. Then I will go out of my way to try to email the author and to present our company with a different angle compared to competitors and to show the value of covering our company as well and how it will benefit their readers.

    Craig
    http://www.budgetpulse.com

  • http://www.budgetpulse.com Craig

    When I see a list and our competitors are on it and I am not, I think of what I can do to get my company on the list for the next cover story. I begin by first observing the competitors and seeing what they do differently and how our company supplies different benefits for our niche. Then I will go out of my way to try to email the author and to present our company with a different angle compared to competitors and to show the value of covering our company as well and how it will benefit their readers.

    Craig
    http://www.budgetpulse.com

  • http://girlsgonegeek.tv Liana

    I enjoy reading your lists, Chris. I feel like the only responsibility you have is to make it known that this is YOUR list. And, you always do that.

    I take personal responsibility for not being on a list I think I should be on and determine what I need to do to be included the next time, if that’s what I want.

    I could also make my own list of people who influence me. It’s a personal thing to be affected by someone. The list may not be the same for everyone.

  • http://girlsgonegeek.tv Liana

    I enjoy reading your lists, Chris. I feel like the only responsibility you have is to make it known that this is YOUR list. And, you always do that.

    I take personal responsibility for not being on a list I think I should be on and determine what I need to do to be included the next time, if that’s what I want.

    I could also make my own list of people who influence me. It’s a personal thing to be affected by someone. The list may not be the same for everyone.

  • http://kevinsgreatadventure.blogspot.com Kevin Cimring

    I don’t think its always healthy to worry about being on a list that others may be on. You have to focus on your own golf game. If you’re not on a list that you aspire to be on, be careful not to lose your individuality by saying what you think people want to hear in order make the list. Otherwise we’d all be saying and doing the same things. Rather focus on your game with tenacity and persistence and you’ll likely make the list anyway without compromising yourself.

  • http://kevinsgreatadventure.blogspot.com Kevin Cimring

    I don’t think its always healthy to worry about being on a list that others may be on. You have to focus on your own golf game. If you’re not on a list that you aspire to be on, be careful not to lose your individuality by saying what you think people want to hear in order make the list. Otherwise we’d all be saying and doing the same things. Rather focus on your game with tenacity and persistence and you’ll likely make the list anyway without compromising yourself.

  • http://www.bloggingbasics101.com Melanie Nelson

    I think it really depends on the list. If it’s from a reputable source, I take the list seriously. If it’s a list I want to be on, I look at who’s on it and what they’re doing. If I can implement some of their best-practices, I do. There is no sense feeling left out–just work harder and learn from those that are on the list. I’m not a fan of all-inclusion every time. If we’re all special, no one is and you’re losing site of what you can learn.

  • http://www.bloggingbasics101.com Melanie Nelson

    I think it really depends on the list. If it’s from a reputable source, I take the list seriously. If it’s a list I want to be on, I look at who’s on it and what they’re doing. If I can implement some of their best-practices, I do. There is no sense feeling left out–just work harder and learn from those that are on the list. I’m not a fan of all-inclusion every time. If we’re all special, no one is and you’re losing site of what you can learn.

  • http://nakedpr.com Jenn Mattern

    These comments are made in a general sense (I haven’t completely gone through, nor do I care to, Scoble’s list).

    I have a different approach than most – when I’m on a list that even attempts to act authoritative (any list that names the “top” this or that’s based on poor metrics, or any list that claims to rank “influencers”) I ask to be removed. Those lists add no real value, and taking pride in being a part of them is more ego than anything else – usually from those who don’t understand how those metrics actually come into play.

    At the same time if someone makes a list saying essentially “Here’s who I personally read and who I think you might enjoy,” I see nothing wrong with it. The list poster isn’t attempting to create an authority air around themselves based on false metrics. They’re giving their opinion – and as long as they are very transparent that it’s a completely subjective list (I’m always surprised at how many subjective lists are passed along as objective), more power to them. At the same time, it’s a completely different story when specific bloggers or groups of bloggers tend to do very little linking outside of a certain circle. Group back-patting and ass-kissing is sad to watch as a reader, and it gets very old very quickly. If you want to avoid turning off your readers only link to things that are exceptional or that are entirely relevant to a point you want to make, where there aren’t better resources to be linking to. A part of our job as bloggers is to share new things with our readers – never stop venturing out.

    I don’t think people should feel offended not to be on every list. I also don’t think they should feel like they have to strive towards that in order to feel validated in even a small way. They need to focus on their readership; not ego. I often wonder if those needing a back-pat periodically (you know… the ones who have to publicly tell their readers to vote for them in everything they can, the ones going on and on about being mentioned on some little blog or list via twitter endlessly, etc.) really have the spine to be a serious blogger at all.

    Here’s the way I look at it from the inclusion perspective too – I don’t believe in going to a blog that ranked you well or blogged about you and then oozing thanks in their comments about how honored you are or some other fluff. Posting nothing but “Thanks for including me” or some other such nonsense really amounts to nothing more than spamming the Web with useless comments to carry your link – if it doesn’t further the conversation in a way applicable to others reading the blog, you probably shouldn’t be posting it. If you just want to say thanks, drop an email. You look less pathetic that way to everyone else reading that blog. Not much annoys me more than people just saying thanks, usually with the “Oh my god! Oh my god! I’m so excited you thought I was worth a measly little link!” tone to it. Actually say something, or don’t comment. And if you must ooze thanks, make sure it’s because someone actually had something to say about you – not just a link, but something in some decent, relevant context. And by all means, add to the conversation if they were decent enough to do that.

  • http://nakedpr.com Jenn Mattern

    These comments are made in a general sense (I haven’t completely gone through, nor do I care to, Scoble’s list).

    I have a different approach than most – when I’m on a list that even attempts to act authoritative (any list that names the “top” this or that’s based on poor metrics, or any list that claims to rank “influencers”) I ask to be removed. Those lists add no real value, and taking pride in being a part of them is more ego than anything else – usually from those who don’t understand how those metrics actually come into play.

    At the same time if someone makes a list saying essentially “Here’s who I personally read and who I think you might enjoy,” I see nothing wrong with it. The list poster isn’t attempting to create an authority air around themselves based on false metrics. They’re giving their opinion – and as long as they are very transparent that it’s a completely subjective list (I’m always surprised at how many subjective lists are passed along as objective), more power to them. At the same time, it’s a completely different story when specific bloggers or groups of bloggers tend to do very little linking outside of a certain circle. Group back-patting and ass-kissing is sad to watch as a reader, and it gets very old very quickly. If you want to avoid turning off your readers only link to things that are exceptional or that are entirely relevant to a point you want to make, where there aren’t better resources to be linking to. A part of our job as bloggers is to share new things with our readers – never stop venturing out.

    I don’t think people should feel offended not to be on every list. I also don’t think they should feel like they have to strive towards that in order to feel validated in even a small way. They need to focus on their readership; not ego. I often wonder if those needing a back-pat periodically (you know… the ones who have to publicly tell their readers to vote for them in everything they can, the ones going on and on about being mentioned on some little blog or list via twitter endlessly, etc.) really have the spine to be a serious blogger at all.

    Here’s the way I look at it from the inclusion perspective too – I don’t believe in going to a blog that ranked you well or blogged about you and then oozing thanks in their comments about how honored you are or some other fluff. Posting nothing but “Thanks for including me” or some other such nonsense really amounts to nothing more than spamming the Web with useless comments to carry your link – if it doesn’t further the conversation in a way applicable to others reading the blog, you probably shouldn’t be posting it. If you just want to say thanks, drop an email. You look less pathetic that way to everyone else reading that blog. Not much annoys me more than people just saying thanks, usually with the “Oh my god! Oh my god! I’m so excited you thought I was worth a measly little link!” tone to it. Actually say something, or don’t comment. And if you must ooze thanks, make sure it’s because someone actually had something to say about you – not just a link, but something in some decent, relevant context. And by all means, add to the conversation if they were decent enough to do that.

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