No Enemies

I Have No Enemies

There’s a passage in one of Pema Chodron’s books that calls one daring if one chooses not to shut anyone out of their heart, or to call anyone an enemy. It goes on to say that if we do this, then we have to accept that we can’t make things absolutely right or wrong, that we can’t find one “true” take on any situation, because there are as many takes on a situation as there are people in the world.

At my Crossfit gym, even though I exercise with a class, and we’re all trying to complete certain exercises for time, or for some number of accomplished sets, we’re not competing with each other. Danny, my trainer and the owner of the gym, says that after about five minutes, you won’t even be able to notice that there are other people in the class, because you’re locked into doing what YOU need to do to succeed. You compete with yourself and yourself alone.

It’s a difficult philosophy, but one that I admire for thinking about business.

No Enemies

When I remember to think like this, business settles back into being about what it should be about: satisfying my buyers and creating value for them. When I accept that others will see things differently, and if I can really accept that and just nod at the sound of my name in their complaints, then I can go back to thinking about the people who’ve gathered around me as a community to seek tools to move things forward in their own lives and businesses. When I realize that my main competition is myself, and that I could’ve done this better, or I could’ve added that value to their experience, then I can work on what truly can be changed: my own efforts.

Competition is Real

Competition is “real” to most people. They worry that I (or you, or Google, or the other plumber) will steal their customers away, that they’ll be lured away by shiny talk and pretty pictures. Competition, to most people, is about fears of an outside source affecting their plans and intentions.

To me, competition is to remember to stay focused on my community and my buyers (not always the same people, by the way). My competition is with doing the research that doesn’t get attention or praise, and then making that research into something that is worth time and sometimes money to my audience. My competition is with struggling when I’m not succeeding, and finding the belief within myself that I’m going to succeed, if I can keep my community first and foremost in my mind when working on things, instead of worrying about myself.

Hard To Do, But Worth It

This philosophy has been quite worthwhile to me. I have been quite successful in my business, when I do this. It’s when I worry about what others think and do, when I worry about pleasing everyone instead of serving those who matter, that I make mistakes. Is it something for you to think about? I’m not saying that. But I’m over here working to make this philosophy my traveling companion.

What about you?

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  • http://www.drewolanoff.com drewolanoff

    Nothing smart I can say here.  You nailed it.

  • http://www.drewolanoff.com drewolanoff

    Nothing smart I can say here.  You nailed it.

  • http://twitter.com/JDuvalSmith Jennifer Duval-Smith

    It’s no surprise that you are at your most successful when you are at your most authentic.  A good and timely reminder Chris, thank you.

  • http://www.tots100.co.uk Sally

    Agree completely – I always try to remind myself that for every hour I spend worrying about a competitor, I’m not thinking of ways to innovate and do what I do better. 

  • http://twitter.com/littleunred Amy Harrison

    Robert Ringer once described how “If you look over your left shoulder, I’ll pass you on your right, look over your right shoulder, I’ll pass you on your left”

    I love his philosophy of quietly plugging away at what YOU need to do and I know that when I do this, it’s not always glamorous or sexy, but the results are.

    • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

      I’ve simplified that in many speeches by saying, “No one ever won a race looking sideways.” 

  • Anonymous

    I completely agree, I look to my competitiors for a bit of inspriation now and again but I don’t find any value in either worrying about their success or crowing over their failures. It also goes the same for industry experts.  I have the loveliest customers and if I can continually make them realise how appreciated they are and listen to what they have to say I hope they stick around.  However is is easier when you have a business with a physical presence, easier to guage reactions, adjust the tone and what you see in response so there isn’t any misunderstanding.  Much more of a challenge virtually when people don’t always get nuances.

  • http://www.ChristopherSPenn.com Christopher S. Penn

    Ultimately, there is no competition, either. Not with anyone else, not with yourself. When you get to a point in your mind science training where you can leave behind competition itself, you’ll find that things just happen. You, Chris Brogan, and the thing you’re doing, lose distinctiveness, until you just do – free of worry, free of encumbrances, free of enemies. Enemies fail to even perceive you as enemies – not because you’re mysteriously invisible, but because there’s nothing for them to grab onto.

    • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

      Right. I’m not there yet. : ) 

    • http://deanholmes.me deanholmes

      Wishing for a “Love” button to push on this one. Excellent response.

    • http://deanholmes.me deanholmes

      Wishing for a “Love” button to push on this one. Excellent response.

    • http://www.TheFranchiseKing.com The Franchise King

      Nice job with that paragraph, Christopher. NOW I know why Chris likes you so much.

      JL

  • http://www.dreamgrow.com/ Priit Kallas

    Bench-marking against others is not very constructive as you don’t know what all their circumstances are. So, concentrate on getting your own act better.

  • http://hannahsharvest.com Hannah Marcotti

    Sometimes this is all we need. A gentle reminder to keep doing. Whenever I’m afraid about competition or if there will be enough people to want to be in my tribe, I think about the Whole Foods parking lot. It is always full and each time I am there (which is often) it is never the same cars, always new and different ones, all seeking fresh beautiful foods. There is so much to go around!

  • http://jimsmarketingblog.com Jim Connolly

    Regardless of what you do, as you become more successful you will attract more flack. 

    Some will see your successes as inspiration, others will see it as a reminder of their own failings.

    Here’s what I do know. When I took my head out of my ass and stopped listening to your detractors, I realized that your work matters to me and people like me.

    At some point I know you and I shall meet and when we do, I hope I get to buy you a drink, shake hands and apologize for allowing outside influences to stop us meeting, when you where last in the UK.

    …but you’re still doing it wrong ;)

  • http://vizsource.info/ Kim Davies

    Hi, Chris.

    We have no enemies indeed. They are just in our minds. If we think about them, we don’t move towards progress, instead we are held back. But, if we constantly think that despite conflicts there is still a lesson to be learned in everything and there is still something good in someone despite their seemingly innate badness, we are able to move from a sphere of animosity to that of understanding and compassion. When we reach this point, we’d be able to think that there is no competition really. Just people who need us and what we can offer and people who don’t.

  • http://twitter.com/noisyzen Samantha W.

    I love this – “It’s when I worry about what others think and do, when I worry about pleasing everyone instead of serving those who matter, that I make mistakes.”

  • http://www.toddpillars.com Todd Pillars

    I struggle with feelings that I have to be competitive versus the real need to be creative. I can tell when I’m not creating by the level of my frustration.

    It’s funny because a little creativity can break me out of that frustration. It’s up to me to me to choose how long I want to be stuck there. THAT can be the hard part.

  • http://roborr.net Rob Orr

    I think that the wisdom of this approach is understated. You have to focus on being the best “You” you can be. I remind myself of this often. If you get caught up in worrying too much about competition, the market, etc. you’re going to be taking your eyes off of doing and knowing what you do best. I love the crossfit analogy – yes there are others that are there, and working to be their best, but once you get focused you’re “competing” against yourself, pushing yourself harder, “hustling” to make yourself more valuable to your community and to the market at the same time.

  • http://twitter.com/BuzzEdition Susan Elaine Cooper

    I am one of those that voiced an opinion about your G+ seminar. I do agree that you have a right to offer any service, and charge any price you feel comfortable with. I also agree with your post about those who disagreed with you not being your target market.

    I respect your work. I respect you. However, I disagree with you sometimes. But what shocks me is this quote, ‘ It’s when I worry about what others think and do, when I worry about pleasing everyone instead of serving those who matter, that I make mistakes.”

    Specifically the “pleasing those that matter” portion. I think when we ignore all of the negative, and only take in the positive, we do ourselves a disservice of a chance to learn and grow. 

    I do wish you well.

  • http://twitter.com/BuzzEdition Susan Elaine Cooper

    I am one of those that voiced an opinion about your G+ seminar. I do agree that you have a right to offer any service, and charge any price you feel comfortable with. I also agree with your post about those who disagreed with you not being your target market.

    I respect your work. I respect you. However, I disagree with you sometimes. But what shocks me is this quote, ‘ It’s when I worry about what others think and do, when I worry about pleasing everyone instead of serving those who matter, that I make mistakes.”

    Specifically the “pleasing those that matter” portion. I think when we ignore all of the negative, and only take in the positive, we do ourselves a disservice of a chance to learn and grow. 

    I do wish you well.

    • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

      I don’t ignore the negative, Susan. I ignore the opinions of people who aren’t the target of the effort. There’s a big difference. If someone is in the market for something that I do, then I am their servant. If you or anyone else isn’t really the target to buy the product, why would I seek your negative opinion? 

      Constructive opinion? Sure. But that’s another matter.

      Most people’s biggest complaints were: 

      1.) the info is out there. you just have to scour and find it.
      2.) it’s too early to do this.

      My thoughts:

      1.) sure is. I just packaged it up to save people time and get them jumpstarted.
      2.) 13 million people are on there NOT waiting until it’s more mature. 

      : ) 

  • http://www.5fprep.com Trent Thomas

    George Bernard Shaw was asked, “If you could have been anybody else, who would you have wanted to be?”  His reply was, “I would want to be a better George Bernard Shaw”.  I read and study a lot about leadership and the #1 thing to master is Self-Leadership.  This post made me think of these things.

  • http://rickmanelius.com Rick Manelius

    In the age of superbowls, reality TV (american idol, big brother), etc: it can become easy to get lost in the mindset that there is ONE prize and that we must all fight with everything we got to get it.

    What’s helped me out is a concept I learned in from programs like Matrix Energetics: you’re only subject to the dualities and realities you play within. If you change the game (and define success a different way) you get out of the me versus everybody else paradigm.

    I’ve adopted this philosophy I call 1+1=7; the idea is I only look for situations where I can work with someone else and create something of value far beyond (7+) what we could have done individually (1s). This mindset focuses on working together to achieve greater things versus working against others to 1-up them and push them down.

    Great post. I’m starting to did this Pema Chodron :)

  • http://rickmanelius.com Rick Manelius

    In the age of superbowls, reality TV (american idol, big brother), etc: it can become easy to get lost in the mindset that there is ONE prize and that we must all fight with everything we got to get it.

    What’s helped me out is a concept I learned in from programs like Matrix Energetics: you’re only subject to the dualities and realities you play within. If you change the game (and define success a different way) you get out of the me versus everybody else paradigm.

    I’ve adopted this philosophy I call 1+1=7; the idea is I only look for situations where I can work with someone else and create something of value far beyond (7+) what we could have done individually (1s). This mindset focuses on working together to achieve greater things versus working against others to 1-up them and push them down.

    Great post. I’m starting to did this Pema Chodron :)

    • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

      Um.. that read like MIT. : ) 

      Just teasing.

      Very very interesting. I like the perspective. Have to consider that. 

      • http://rickmanelius.com Rick Manelius

        I suffer from what I call ‘power dork’ mode. I look and act like an everyday person for a majority of my day… but I can throw on the geek switch and start spewing technical details at the drop of a hat, much to the dismay of everyone around me :)

        It’s one of my next posts. I’ll try to not make it too number-y :)

      • http://rickmanelius.com Rick Manelius

        Quick question for everyone else: I see that disqus sometimes adds in my disqus profile next to my name in the comments and on some sites it does not. I’d still like to keep my profile up there, but not if it’s spamming it on every post I write.

        So do people simply not put in a profile there? Do some of you see profiles in the comments? Is there a way to turn that off universally?

        It’s one of my few complaints. The first time I saw my profile appear in the comment I was a bit surprised and I wanted to toggle it off. It’s just not the place, IMHO.

  • http://ClimbingEveryMountain.com Mary E. Ulrich

    Chris, you’re turning into a philosopher.

    Never heard of Pema Chodron before, but I’ll look him up. Love the idea of choosing “not to shut anyone out of their heart,” that’s quite a life lesson.

    On a couple of your other ideas–I’m not so sure. I do think there are outside fears that are real.

    So how do we protect ourselves and the people we care about? We are vulnerable. We depend on others, laws, services…. and when we see others forcing their agenda at the cost of the basic civil rights and fundamental services, we have enemies. They might be wearing expensive suits and give eloquent speeches, but we either have to see them as enemies and fight with every ounce of our energy, or we have to acknowledge we will be victims and slaves to their wishes and greed. A wise friend once told me, “Be proud of your enemies.”

    I am glad to call you friend. I love thinking of a world where I would open my heart to all. I pray for my enemies. But I spend every day fighting those real enemies who are trying to hurt my family and other vulnerable people. I wish it was different. But I guess that’s why we don’t get to heaven until after we die.

  • http://ClimbingEveryMountain.com Mary E. Ulrich

    Chris, you’re turning into a philosopher.

    Never heard of Pema Chodron before, but I’ll look him up. Love the idea of choosing “not to shut anyone out of their heart,” that’s quite a life lesson.

    On a couple of your other ideas–I’m not so sure. I do think there are outside fears that are real.

    So how do we protect ourselves and the people we care about? We are vulnerable. We depend on others, laws, services…. and when we see others forcing their agenda at the cost of the basic civil rights and fundamental services, we have enemies. They might be wearing expensive suits and give eloquent speeches, but we either have to see them as enemies and fight with every ounce of our energy, or we have to acknowledge we will be victims and slaves to their wishes and greed. A wise friend once told me, “Be proud of your enemies.”

    I am glad to call you friend. I love thinking of a world where I would open my heart to all. I pray for my enemies. But I spend every day fighting those real enemies who are trying to hurt my family and other vulnerable people. I wish it was different. But I guess that’s why we don’t get to heaven until after we die.

    • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

      It’s hard to protect someone. You really can’t in lots of ways. You can equip them, but danger finds us, whether or not we want it. 

  • http://www.TheFranchiseKing.com The Franchise King

    Thanks for the reminder, Chris.

    When my book comes out in the Fall, I have a feeling that not everyone in the franchise community will like what I have to say. I need to be OK with that. (Some of them already don’t like some of things that I’ve brought up over the years, so I guess I have a little jump-start.)

    I know in my heart that my intentions are noble; in my case, it’s about being an advocate for those who may be about to plunk down $100k-$300k or more into a franchise business start-up…and teaching them how to carefully search for and properly research the franchises that they’re interested in. Safely. That way they’re not only going to lower their financial risk, but they’ll have a real shot at The American Dream. 

    If I don’t take any future criticism too personally, I’ll be fine.

    Right?

     

  • http://www.TheFranchiseKing.com The Franchise King

    Thanks for the reminder, Chris.

    When my book comes out in the Fall, I have a feeling that not everyone in the franchise community will like what I have to say. I need to be OK with that. (Some of them already don’t like some of things that I’ve brought up over the years, so I guess I have a little jump-start.)

    I know in my heart that my intentions are noble; in my case, it’s about being an advocate for those who may be about to plunk down $100k-$300k or more into a franchise business start-up…and teaching them how to carefully search for and properly research the franchises that they’re interested in. Safely. That way they’re not only going to lower their financial risk, but they’ll have a real shot at The American Dream. 

    If I don’t take any future criticism too personally, I’ll be fine.

    Right?

     

    • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

      Books most definitely are a tricky business. MOST business books don’t sell more than 5000 copies. No matter what we think, that’s what happens. 90+ percent. 

      Learning to do your own thing with this is big. 

      • http://www.TheFranchiseKing.com The Franchise King

        Thanks. That’s the plan, Stan.

  • Anonymous

    Incredible that you can get an almost instant bead on how you’re being perceived… You can tune in on fans, detractors, and the moveable middle. With the right mindset and discipline not to overconsume (or overanalyze), that kind of feedback is powerful AND valuable.

    As for competition… sometimes I am guarded… other times I see them as “co-opetition.” We’re both chasing down the same opportunities. How might we team up to win them faster, deliver stronger value, and earn more opportunities over an extended span of time?

    Thanks for another thoughtful post, Chris!

  • Anonymous

    Incredible that you can get an almost instant bead on how you’re being perceived… You can tune in on fans, detractors, and the moveable middle. With the right mindset and discipline not to overconsume (or overanalyze), that kind of feedback is powerful AND valuable.

    As for competition… sometimes I am guarded… other times I see them as “co-opetition.” We’re both chasing down the same opportunities. How might we team up to win them faster, deliver stronger value, and earn more opportunities over an extended span of time?

    Thanks for another thoughtful post, Chris!

    • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

      I love co-opettition as a concept. Very much. it helps everyone, I feel. : ) 

  • Anonymous

    Incredible that you can get an almost instant bead on how you’re being perceived… You can tune in on fans, detractors, and the moveable middle. With the right mindset and discipline not to overconsume (or overanalyze), that kind of feedback is powerful AND valuable.

    As for competition… sometimes I am guarded… other times I see them as “co-opetition.” We’re both chasing down the same opportunities. How might we team up to win them faster, deliver stronger value, and earn more opportunities over an extended span of time?

    Thanks for another thoughtful post, Chris!

  • Anonymous

    Incredible that you can get an almost instant bead on how you’re being perceived… You can tune in on fans, detractors, and the moveable middle. With the right mindset and discipline not to overconsume (or overanalyze), that kind of feedback is powerful AND valuable.

    As for competition… sometimes I am guarded… other times I see them as “co-opetition.” We’re both chasing down the same opportunities. How might we team up to win them faster, deliver stronger value, and earn more opportunities over an extended span of time?

    Thanks for another thoughtful post, Chris!

  • Anonymous

    Incredible that you can get an almost instant bead on how you’re being perceived… You can tune in on fans, detractors, and the moveable middle. With the right mindset and discipline not to overconsume (or overanalyze), that kind of feedback is powerful AND valuable.

    As for competition… sometimes I am guarded… other times I see them as “co-opetition.” We’re both chasing down the same opportunities. How might we team up to win them faster, deliver stronger value, and earn more opportunities over an extended span of time?

    Thanks for another thoughtful post, Chris!

  • Anonymous

    Incredible that you can get an almost instant bead on how you’re being perceived… You can tune in on fans, detractors, and the moveable middle. With the right mindset and discipline not to overconsume (or overanalyze), that kind of feedback is powerful AND valuable.

    As for competition… sometimes I am guarded… other times I see them as “co-opetition.” We’re both chasing down the same opportunities. How might we team up to win them faster, deliver stronger value, and earn more opportunities over an extended span of time?

    Thanks for another thoughtful post, Chris!

  • http://www.whatsuphe.tumblr.com Albert D. Melfo

    CF FTW! How’s it going for you? I joined in January, and can honestly say it’s easily one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself.

    • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

      I’m still in the newbie phase, but I love the philosophy. : ) 

  • http://www.whatsuphe.tumblr.com Albert D. Melfo

    CF FTW! How’s it going for you? I joined in January, and can honestly say it’s easily one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself.

  • http://www.whatsuphe.tumblr.com Albert D. Melfo

    CF FTW! How’s it going for you? I joined in January, and can honestly say it’s easily one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself.

  • http://www.whatsuphe.tumblr.com Albert D. Melfo

    CF FTW! How’s it going for you? I joined in January, and can honestly say it’s easily one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself.

  • http://twitter.com/phillyrealty Christopher Somers

    What a great philosophy Chris.  I can relate.  When I worry about what others are doing or what they are thinking about myself, I can get distracted.  When I am just focused on myself and our business, that is when things are the smoothest and the most productive.  Love the gym analogy !

  • http://www.oymark.com Dkloter

    Chris, this comment can be summed up with just 1 simple (but powerful) word…
    AMEN !!
    Thanks, I hope millions can adopt this philosophy

  • http://www.margieclayman.com Marjorie Clayman

    AWESOME! Now, when we see you straying from this path, we can link back and say, “Hey, some really smart dude said not to do that.” :)

    The opposite of What Christopher Penn said that we are our own worst enemies. When you absorb the negativity people are hurling at you, really what you are doing is saying, “I think this about myself, but I can’t deal with that, so I’m using these other people as a liaison between me and myself.”

    If you are good with yourself, you may hear enemies speaking, but it will be a buzz like a mosquito or a fly.

    But that’s only if you’re good with yourself.

    And that’s true for everybody.

     

  • http://alfonsofanjul.org/ Alfonso Fanjul

    Nice philosophy !! Her suggestions can be easily practiced by anyone at any time without meditation training.

  • http://alfonsofanjul.org/ Alfonso Fanjul

    Nice philosophy !! Her suggestions can be easily practiced by anyone at any time without meditation training.

  • Anonymous

    We live in a fishbowl, Chris. And the fishbowl that is the social media realm is mostly comprised of early adopters who are all selling different things to different people. Or people who are trying to figuring out how to sell things to people by following the leads of people like us. And we’re also collectively a bunch of annoying navel gazers – picking apart platforms, ideas, strategies, competitors and yes, sometimes even people.

    Obviously, this post is in response to all the brouhaha of the last few days. And boy, am I ever tired of that conversation – on ALL fronts.

    Bottom line – we all choose what we do to make a living. Your choice may be different than mine, your audience may be different than mine, and ours, collectively and individually, may be different than others. Is that effing FANTASTIC or what? How boring would it be if there were only one path, and we were all doing the exact same, formulaic things? Stab me with a dull blade.

    Focusing on what we do, what we want to do, and sell, and be and live with is all a part of our day-to-day business strategies. Sometimes examining others’ strategies can be helpful, and sometimes even expressing opinions about them isn’t such a bad thing. Sometimes that’s part of figuring out our own paths. And, for the record, I don’t think the post that started all the “haters” business was hateful – and certainly not towards you, the person.

    I don’t know about you, but I love competition. And I know my competitors — we like, respect and even hang out together. Online and IRL. Sometimes I vehemently disagree with the strategies they employ and the tactics they use. And sometimes I learn from them. And I do pay attention – which I think is an important component of success. And sometimes I even write about them so that I can see if I’m alone in my thoughts or if others feel the same way. That’s not being a hater or an enemy … it’s just doing what we folks who write do – think, question, ask, pick apart.

    Competition is important. I don’t know about you, but I like it. And I like winning. For me, winning isn’t about beating you or someone else in this space, because my ideas are better, different, etc., it’s about winning for my clients. Delivering results that work. 

    Knowing what other agencies are doing is important. Watching, thinking, testing, learning, opining, asking – all of that is important – especially in the digital space where things change at the veritable speed of light. But being obsessed with what others are doing isn’t the key to success. 

    As your analogy (an apt one, btw) says, it’s best to get into your own zone and do what you do best. For YOUR audience. YOUR clients. YOUR prospects. The people to whom YOU are  responsible and/or that YOU want to work with. And the truest measure of competition is often just “competing” against ourselves. Being smarter, producing better results, delivering better customer service. Amazing what can be accomplished when you ratchet up that kind of competition.

    No enemies is good. But also, remembering to let things roll off your back is also good. And an integral part of happiness. The bigger anyone is in any industry, the more what they do is held up to a microscope, dissected and questioned. I know that – you know that. And remembering that discussion about strategies or tactics doesn’t necessarily equate to hatred – in fact, that’s often very far from the case – is also key.   

    There’s plenty of work to go around. And our biggest competitor is most often ourselves. Let’s all remind ourselves of that on a regular basis and remember the nature of the fishbowl.

    How did this comment turn into a novella? Rock on.

    • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

      This is a blog post. : ) 

      I think it’s great that you embrace competition. 50 Cent was in an interview recently where he said that Jay-Z is his only competitor, and by that, he meant that the other artists out there don’t inspire him to do better. THAT kind of competition, I understand.

      it’s the sniping and griping part I don’t prefer.

      That said, I’m over here without enemies. I’m just running my race. 

  • http://www.danieldecker.net Daniel Decker

    Right on.

    I often think of horses that pull carriages down the street. They wear blinders for a reason…. to keep them focused on what’s in front of them instead of being distracted by the peripheral (what’s beside them).

    A lesson I try to apply as well.

    • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

      Love it. : ) 

  • http://twitter.com/nwshr Neil Ward

    Chris, you are absolutely spot on with this. I sometimes struggle to do as you do and it is only when I do what the tech boys suggest and ‘switch off and then back on again’ that I reset my thinking. Many times our most powerful competitor is ourselves.

  • http://raulcolon.net Raul Colon

    Just as when I use to run 10K races and Cross-Country it would also hurt me when I was trying to run at someone else pace or thinking of those that where behind me. Usually I am so busy doing my own projects and can’t find enough time that it keeps me away from competing with the rest. 

    Although sometimes I might get disappointed when I become someone’s target because they feel they want to compete with me I have to work hard to re-focus and continue doing what I think might be the right thing. 

    • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

      I understand that, Raul. But I think you’ll find your way through it. Because you know who puts bread on the table. You. : ) 

  • http://aberrantcrochet.wordpress.com/ AberrantCrochet

    I needed to hear this again. In general this is my philosophy of life. But as an artist and designer, you’re always concerned with protecting your work so someone doesn’t swipe your lively hood.  The creative pot is by nature fertile.  I have to remind myself that when your heart is poured in, “competition” with anyone other than myself (as you pointed out above), is nothing more to worry about. 

    There’s also a flip side to the competitive viewpoints you shared above.  And that’s when people freeze and don’t move forward or don’t act on an idea because they are afraid of competition and don’t want to compete, say with friends or family, etc..  I think we are all meant to be an expert in something and collectively we pool that together.  I’m not infinite enough to contain it all and am very happy to rely on the expertise of others for things I cannot also add to my plate.  Fear of competing with someone else, even someone I love, shouldn’t keep us from being our best.

    • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

      The thing with swipers, I’ve found, is that there’s not a lot one can do with it, is there? You can issue DMCA for the net, but that doesn’t keep it out of bounds for the terribly pushy. You can post mean blogs, but that doesn’t fix it. There are just lots and lots of ways that it goes wrong, sadly. 

      So, in a way, it’s just a reminder to let it flow through. 

  • http://twitter.com/susangiurleo susangiurleo

    It’s mindset, like anything else. All races are won in the mind. World class athletes all can win, but the one with the internal mindset and mental strength to push through get to the finish line first.  And it is all about choice. Do we choose to engage a negative force, or do we choose to focus on the 100s of others who are positive and sharing joy? My new theme in work and life is “what you focus on grows.” When we focus on the negative, that gets bigger and takes up our world view. When we focus on the positive, we see good all around us.

    • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

      I make the wrong choice often. I’ve decided to work even harer no that. 

      • http://twitter.com/susangiurleo susangiurleo

        The great thing about choices is we can always change our mind and choose again…

  • zenmanagementinstitute

    Managing your ‘self’ is the key to managing others…..

  • Gabe Taviano

    Would be interested in your take on Matthew 5:44. Having enemies really isn’t up to is, a person or group chooses to oppose regardless of what the other side thinks. The tough question is how do we respond?

    Interesting point of view on philosophy, but as a Christian I believe that absolute truth will one day turn from unseen faith to evidence. Believing that, I prefer to search for truth in everything. Thanks Chris!

    • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

      I think it’s a great perspective, Gabe. I think Christianity has a lot in common with the best parts of Buddhism. And then, there are parts that don’t line up as well. : ) 

      • Gabe Taviano

        Thanks for the response Chris. Keep up the great work!

  • http://www.LisaPetrilli.com Lisa Petrilli

    Chris,

    The only one who can walk along your True Path is you.  There are no enemies on your True Path because their on their own path…

    The word “worry” that you use in the post is what’s critical for you to let go of.  Learn from what others have to say and teach you, but let go of the worry as you travel along your own True Path.  Connect with who you are at your deepest, highest level and bring that person to life.  In doing so, you leave “worry” far behind you.

    It’s when we connect with our own true selves, follow our own True Path and encourage others along their own, inspiring journeys that we feel deep fulfillment.  Hugs to you!

    Lisa Petrilli

    • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

      Thanks, Lisa. I learn more from you all the time. : ) 

  • http://twitter.com/Ilana221 Ilana Rabinowitz

    I love that you read Pema Chodron. Makes me think of you in a new way. 

  • Claudene

    I learn tons of stuff from both you and Chris Penn.  You both inspire me.  

    He said some things yesterday that dovetail with your post today. Yesterday I gave a hat tip to him for a comment he made a few years ago, something like: “Moments of perfection are around us all the time, we just have to be open to seeing them.”

    Ever the fair-minded and perpetual educator (and we love that about him, don’t we!), he replied that his comment was likely a derivative of one or both of these:
    1)  ”Happiness is waiting there in front of you. Only you can decide whether or not you choose to experience it.” …and/or,
    2)  ”The war we fight is not against powers and principalities, it is against chaos and despair. Greater than the death of flesh is the death of hope, the death of dreams. Against this peril we can never surrender. The future is all around us, waiting in moments of transition, to be born in moments of revelation. No one knows the shape of that future or where it will take us. We know only that it is always born…in pain.”  – J. Michael Straczynski

    Enemies and competition fuel that chaos and despair.  They can be death to our hopes and dreams, death to our belief in ourselves.  And they cloud our eyes to the perfection that’s right there in front of us — the happiness that’s right there for the taking — if we’ll only choose to see and experience it.  

    Each of us is the perfection and the happiness — for ourselves and for each other.  There is only one you, one him, one me…only one of each of us humans.  I agree with Pema — that it would be daring to leave our heart’s door open to each and every one of us — and especially to our own self.   

    • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

      Funny. I’m totally not a moments of perfection guy. I love the beauty of imperfection. Fancy that, eh? : ) 

      • Claudene

        But that’s just it — perfection is when we’re aware of imperfection and yet accept and embrace it as the perfection of it all, of each of us, of life. Acceptance is the key.  

        Perfection is really imperfection recognized, accepted, sought and treasured. True, ideal, theoretical perfection doesn’t exist in our human reality.

        This all makes me laugh a little, too, because these discussions can turn into a mobius strip, a sort of endless loop of semantics.  But it’s still fun to think about, and talk about…and practice, live. :)

  • Paul Zelizer

    Chris,

    1) Crossfit ROCKS!
    2) Buddhism ROCKS!
    3) One of the things I learned from both Crossfit and Buddhism is that most people focus WAY too much energy on what others think.  The best Crossfitters aren’t thinking “I wonder if people are noticing how awesome I look doing this overhead squat.”  They are thinking, “How can I focus my attention and energy ever more on taking my game to the next level.”  Same with Buddhist practitioners.  If you’re spending most of your time sitting on the cushion thinking, “Is everyone noticing how COOL I look?”, than you missed a few of the basics.
    4) You ROCK!

    Thanks for the great post. Great to know we share a passion for both Crossfit and conscious business!

    Warmly,
    Paul

    • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

      Very cool, Paul. Thank you very much. You’re TOTALLY right. I’ve never EVER been in a gym anywhere without worrying what people think about me. But if I were in a better place with the practicing of Buddhism, I’d be a lot better off with my overhead squats. : )

      You rock, too. : ) 

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