December 2, 2011 163 Comments

You’re Not As Busy As You Think

We are often our own worst enemy.

In many ways, I’m writing this post to myself. I had a very interesting conversation with my shrink the other day, wherein which he was calling me out on some of my less-attractive behaviors. He said to me, “Maybe you don’t do those things because you think you’re too busy and too needed elsewhere to do them.” (In this instance, the “things” were all the tasks I can’t seem to master in life, like paying bills on time.)

What’s interesting is that the conversation resonated with a few others I’d had. Jacqueline had asked me something about why I produce as much content as I do. Julien Smith had asked me why I still blog daily, and whether it was worth any more or less than writing weekly, or even less frequently.

YOU’RE NOT AS BUSY AS YOU THINK

Again, this post might be me writing to myself. See how you feel. I think that I equate “busy” with the “need to be visible.” I create so much material because I have lots of ideas and I want to share them. I want to share them because I love feedback. I crave feedback. And at a very base level, I just want to be “seen.”

Most humans want this. The Zulu say “Sawubona” as a greeting. It translates to: “I see you.” I recognize that you are there. It’s a powerful want for a lot of us, to be seen, to be heard.

But it can also be another kind of addiction. Addiction to feedback hampers a lot of other valuable pursuits. How often do you rush to see if anyone’s commented on your Facebook status or retweeted your witty tweet? How many times do you check on your blog to see whether you need to answer a comment? Ask yourself quite honestly what purpose this activity serves.

BUSY IS A GREAT SALVE

If you’re busy, you must be important. If you’re busy, people need you. Humankind’s greatest need: to feel wanted. If you’re busy, you’re not the loser you worry you might be. If you’re busy, maybe you’ll crack the code on what people will pay for faster.

But busy isn’t the same as “fulfilling a purpose” or “walking a path.” Seeking feedback excessively means that you’re not comfortable sitting with your own thoughts, and that you’re not comfortable with the question of whether what you’re creating is of value in your own mind.

Busy lets us try and not focus on experiences that hurt us or feelings that cause us some suffering. Busy is a fast-moving horse and we can’t really see the individual flower for all the patterns of the field. (This is a mangling of a Chinese proverb.)

GET LESS BUSY

My first steps towards becoming less busy were all very simple and tactical. I set my phone to do the fewest possible notifications. I get a warble when someone texts me. Besides that, I don’t get a notification when email arrives, when someone comments on a social network, or any of those. And guess what? I’m still responsive. I’m still valuable.

I did the same to my computers. I shut off notifications to as many applications as I could. And then I did one more. I closed my email software. I closed my social network windows. I shut all the windows and applications down on my computer except the one or two that I needed to work on my project at hand. Oh, and I started keeping my projects at hand front and center so that I knew where I should be spending my time.

I got less busy in my public life, too. I don’t go to all the events. I very willingly skip the biggest events in my industry, because they are too full of busy and not full of business. It’s great to see friends. But I can do that in other contexts. If I’m at an industry event, it’s because I have business there.

ACCEPT BEING INVISIBLE

This is the hardest part for me. I continue to maintain the fantasy that if I don’t blog every day, if I don’t tweet several times a day, if I don’t publish something interesting to Google+ a few times a day, then people will forget me and move on to other sources of information. In some ways, I know this to be true. We are a consumption society, hungry to click to the next thing and the thing after that.

But is that my lead generation model? Are the people who readily consume my blog and tweets and posts often my clients? No. They are quite often colleagues in similar lines of work. They are my eclectic and beloved mishmash of people from varied lives who think they are the only non-marketer reading my blog. They are people from the past who still can’t believe where I’ve gone with my life. That’s who reads my blog.

The people who buy something from me are often not quite aware of who I am, and they simply stop by, see the abundance of proof that I must be pretty good at what I do, and then they hire me for some project or another. Does that audience require daily interaction? No. In fact, I suspect they would loathe that. They want to know that I can help them succeed in adding business value. That isn’t measured in number of blog posts or tweets to my knowledge.

It is evidently okay to be a little more invisible. I’m willing to practice this. It’s scary, but doable.

HOW BUSY ARE YOU?

Don’t feel like you have to answer that with me. But ask yourself that question. Are you really overwhelmingly busy? Beyond a few deadlines and maybe some self-inflicted procrastination, how busy are you? And what is that “busy” doing to improve your lifestyle right now, and your business in the coming years?

What if you got some of that time back? What would you do with it? How would you spend an extra four hours a day? Four. Hours. Think about that. That might just well be the cost of busy. Where would you spend yours?

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  • http://twitter.com/RobinDickinson Robin Dickinson

    WHEN ‘BUSYNESS’ IS GOOD FOR BUSINESS

    I rely on my competitors ‘buying’ the delusion of busy.  Having them
    distracted, unfocused, crowd-chasing and running from one shiny, new thing to the next means more business for my company.

    Thank you for this post, Chris.

  • Natasha

    I got several hours a day back by quitting my job of 8 years which was just too darned busy!  Since then, I have rarely been un-busy.  My old employer wanted me to continue doing work from home, and that got kind of busy. But at the same time I was researching a Corporate Communications Certificate program and the combination made me really busy. Then I realized all the things I should be doing with my house & personal life using all this “spare” time. 

    Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera

    Now there are really not enough hours in the day.  I figured it out – we are just people who are busy by nature.  There is nothing you can do about it, except maybe GET BUSY!

  • http://www.ultimatechiropracticads.com Michael

    I think I’m more busy thank I think. Because every time I think about all the stuff I need to do and didn’t get done today, I come up with more things I need to do!

    Of course I could stop reading blogs, and that would redeem some time :)

  • http://www.blingsnaps.com Kirsty Stevenson

    I re-aligned my priorities a few years ago because I kept hearing myself say that I did not “have time” for what was really important, self-care.
    I now get up early each day and do about 2 hours of yoga, meditation and Buddhist practice. I get to my desk a bit later, but am so much happier, more settled and centred. 
    My daily meditation practice clears out the dust in my brain and allows for more focus and better concentration; it’s amazing how much healthier I am with a daily yoga practice, about 30 – 45 minutes; my Buddhist practice provides context for my entire life.
    Each morning I “go to the mat” and everything in my life benefits – my work, family, friends, volunteer commitments, everything. 
    Balance……

  • http://twitter.com/lori_graham Lori Graham

    Unfortunately “being busy” is equated to success in today’s world. Every time I hear the word “busy” come out of my own mouth it really makes me stop and think how busy I really am and what it means for me to be busy – certainly doesn’t always mean being productive. Thanks for sharing your post. It’s a great reminder to consider how “busy” is fitting into the lifestyle that I really want to have.

  • http://twitter.com/VSDieguez Vanessa Sain-Dieguez

    Chris, you’ve captured so much in this post I’m really not sure where to begin with my comment. First off, I appreciate your honesty. I think most of us use busy as a crutch – that way we don’t have to ask ourselves the hard question of what would we do. Sure anyone can come up with what they’d do for a few extra hours – but in terms of purpose, we keep thinking we are so busy to be fulfilled as you say. Social Media is an interesting phenomena in that way – we are busier than ever, and while some connections remain true and some are to be found, I find that many have fizzled with technology. The honest interaction has been lost sadly. Thanks again for your post – you’ve given me much to think about. 

  • http://twitter.com/Smarter_Digital Richard Keeves

    Good post. Many home truths.

    Being busy in straight lines is always better than being busy in circles. (Unless you are dancing, as a friend recently pointed out.)

  • Anonymous

    I was going to write a comment, but I’m too busy to write it and you’re too busy to read it.

  • http://www.debragould.com Debra Gould, Entrepreneur

    Thanks for this thoughtful and honest post. I think part of what you’re feeling is the dark side of Web 2.0 and “content marketing.” It can be like having a full-time job as a columnist, with no one to manage the “letters to the editor” section and also running a business (or 3) at the same time.

  • http://twitter.com/DavidBlinov David Blinov

    Wonderful post. I have occasionally thought the same thing. Could it really be that I am busy 24/7, or do I simply make myself think that I am? 

  • http://goo.gl/QvKcQ SusieBlackmon

    I love what I do and can’t wait to get up every single day to do it. Never busy enough with the world of horses. ;-)

  • http://twitter.com/JudyHelfand JudyHelfand

    I stopped by yesterday…but I was working on some projects, so I stepped away. Anyway, your thoughts here remind me alot about a newsletter you sent on March 9, 2010.  It was titled “I don’t fit in – do you?” I saved that newsletter. I sometimes go back and read that newsletter.

    I know what Julien is suggesting, I get what Jacqueline is questioning. I subscribe to Julien and I always know when he writes it will be a kick in the pants. Sometimes I have gotten very upset with Julien, then other times it is like sitting down with an old friend. Think about Seth Godin…no comments allowed, for whatever reason. 
    Anyway, it is Saturday. Today I am just going to live…hope you go away with your friend.
    Judy

  • http://twitter.com/junhax Paul Junbear

    I love the honesty (and modesty).

    The loudest one in the room is the weakest.
    I stopped telling myself I was busy and really focused my time and efforts on activities that matter — such as writing and reading.Twitter and FB may be great, fun to listen and respond to feedback, but to be interrupted and pause what you are working on, say a blog post, is unnecessary.There are more effective ways to be heard on the loudspeaker, such as hard work and damn good writing (such as this post). I sometimes think, maybe it’s best if we treat Twitter and Facebook like dessert: always after finishing the main course and in small portions.

  • http://newportbeachrealestatecafe.com/ Sharon Paxson

    This is an excellent post and thought provoking about consumption, and the need to post on the social networks consistently. Turning off the notifications is a good idea, I do respond if I get a notification.

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  • http://twitter.com/matsteinwede Mat Steinwede

    Great post Chris.
    I’m a real estate agent from Australia and read your blog post often and have my own industry blog, see twitter link (that’s sort of why I look at your material to get ideas, as I’m sure many do).
    I related to this post on a lot of levels, mainly my daily video blog because you are right, who am I doing it for? Agents, other industries but are they clients… Mmm some I guess but most would just watch for entertainment I suppose.
    And then there is work, yes you are right again is all the busyness necessary.
    Very thought provoking.
    Thanks again,
    Mat 

  • http://imageperceptions.com Ted Vieira

    Great post as always, Chris. I appreciate you “staying busy” always delivering such helpful information and insights.

  • http://www.warrencammack.co.uk Warren Cammack

    Brilliant article, you’ve hit the nail on the head when it comes to not just being perceived to be busy but actually being busy all the time to feel needed. The question is how long can you go without the sense of being connected and always on when everyone else seems to be?

  • http://www.likeawarmcupofcoffee.com Sarah Mae

    I just love your vulnerability in this post…makes me like you/appreciate you (and your words) more. :)

  • http://twitter.com/joenormal Joe Cox

    This post really spoke to me as things have ramped up  lately & I’ve been asking myself a few of the same questions as how to prioritize my day.  I dig it man, think you’re getting somewhere with this post, but keep drilling.  
    Side note-  How long have you been going to a shrink, does it do anything for you? 
    Again, dug the post :)

  • Ljsummer57

    Sawubona! I’m going to challenge myself to follow a couple of your ideas (ie one software prog open at a time). Thanks for your advice. I feel like I benefited from your therapist appt, so thanks for sharing with a stranger!

  • http://rickmanelius.com Rick Manelius

    Someone recently recommended the book “Too Perfect” to my wife and I because I was falling into the same trap: the need to constantly be ‘doing’ something even if it really wasn’t helping me move towards my ultimate objective.

    It’s been a learning experience… to NOT do so much. A part of me feels guilty, and a bigger part feels the relief of not being instant on for every email that hits the inbox.

    I actually misread your ‘busy is a great salve’ as ‘busy as a slave’… and the slave master is the man inside our head, telling us all the things we should be doing.

    I’m off to go enjoy a leisurely breakfast. Thanks for reminding me that I ultimately have the power to give myself the permission to do that :)

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  • http://www.downthewriterspath.com Vikk Simmons

    Today being busy is defined by all the social media expectations and online ventures but “busyness” is something we all fall prey to. This is just one more evolution of that nasty old virus. Doesn’t make it any easier to stop it but it’s a good thing to give it a try.

  • http://about.me/rachal.loves.life Rachal Tarquin

    Great practical advice for those who want to put this into practice! This was a great read.

  • http://marketingadvertising.biz Noel Worli

    If people stop using facebook they will be less busy :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/cjmediasolutions CJ Arlotta

    Exceptional article, Chris. Instead of constantly checking my email inbox, I will now check sporadically throughout the day. Who knows, maybe I’ll only check my email inbox in the beginning and end of my day.

  • Anonymous

    Hello Chris – my Dad liked to say: “The graveyards of the world are filled with indispensable people!” My own sage advice: don’t wait until you are flattened by a catastrophic health crisis (in my case, a massive heart attack) before you ‘get it’ that – amazingly! – the world does indeed continue to spin on its axis even if you’re not the one running as fast as you can on the hamster wheel.

  • http://www.mynotetakingnerd.com/blog Lewis LaLanne aka Nerd #2

    Damn Chris, I have to congratulate you on a massive accomplishment in this post.

    I just finished the grueling task of taking notes on the entire Dan Kennedy’s entire “DNA Game Changer” course that he just recently launched.

    In this course one of the points he hammers home over and over and over again is the need for your audience to feel like you’re a real person and in the same light, have people want to be like you, which leads to them giving you their attention and money.

    I flat out guarantee you, the opening paragraph of this post does this with perfection.

    Everyone who’s been around here for at least a little time knows you’re the man. But there you go, in your opening copy talking about how you have a shrink helping you overcome problems you have with paying bills on time. (I problem I very much can relate to).

    You keep writing like this and staying at the cutting edge of the market, you’ll be sitting pretty atop of Mount Olympus for a long as you like.

    Job well done Chris. *Hat Tip*

  • http://www.dawnmentzer.com Dawn Mentzer

    Impeccable timing with that post…I just recently turned off many of my email notifications because I was getting too caught up in – and distracted by – “needing” instantaneously to know who was responding to my posts across the various channels. Still working on the discipline to keep open only the windows needed for a project – baby steps!

  • Alina Caballero

    Hi Chris,
    I have been reading your posts like forever and many times I felt the urge to comment but I ‘let it go’. However this is one of those I just can not let go. It resonates with most of your followers- see the sea of comments below – and maybe someone has already suggested this but …have you thought about yoga and meditating? I did take it up 12 -18 months ago and it has transformed my ‘busy’ life and put it into perspective. Allowing yourself to spend time doing ‘nothing’ while meditating is the hardest mission for a busy person like you and it will teach you much more about yourself than all the turning off of all notifications…it is a new challenge that I strongly recommend… Chris Brogan meditating! Wow…

  • http://twitter.com/ProPhotoTutor ProPhotoTutor

    congrats on not posting for 3 days after this one! 

  • http://twitter.com/ProPhotoTutor ProPhotoTutor

    congrats on not posting for 3 days after this one! 

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  • louis vuitton

    I have searched the net and I should say I’ve not come across an article like this which is so easy to understand and learn 

  • louis vuitton

    I have searched the net and I should say I’ve not come across an article like this which is so easy to understand and learn 

  • Mark Jason

    I read the entire article and found it useful for learning.

  • Mark Jason

    I read the entire article and found it useful for learning.

  • Anonymous

    Very thought-provoking. I think you nailed it–especially in America, we need to be “seen.”

  • Anonymous

    Very thought-provoking. I think you nailed it–especially in America, we need to be “seen.”

  • Anonymous

    …..I Саn`t bеlеivе…Ðœy friеnd`s sistеr mакеs 78/hr оn thе intеrnеt.  Shе hаs bееn unеmÑ€lоуеd fоr 11 mоnths but lаst mоnth hеr incоmе wаs  7985$ јust wоrкing оn thе РС fоr а fеw hоurs.  Read on this wеbsitе…….    C a s h M a n y . c о m  

  • Anonymous

    …..I Саn`t bеlеivе…Ðœy friеnd`s sistеr mакеs 78/hr оn thе intеrnеt.  Shе hаs bееn unеmÑ€lоуеd fоr 11 mоnths but lаst mоnth hеr incоmе wаs  7985$ јust wоrкing оn thе РС fоr а fеw hоurs.  Read on this wеbsitе…….    C a s h M a n y . c о m  

  • http://www.san-diego-marketing.com/ San Diego Marketing

    I get that feeling of addiction too, the need to check if people have responded or viewed my self proclaimed “witty assertations” on blogs or various social networking platforms. I get to turn it off when I’m offline, but otherwise it’s a crippling need.

  • http://twitter.com/leannej leannej

    You are so talented especially in your writing skills. Great post.  

  • http://twitter.com/TheBoldBlend Barbara Davis

    I started off addicted to the commenters, followers, etc.  Then I realized I was spending more time managing that instead of writing good material.  I started my blog 6 weeks ago.  Now is not the time to build followers, it is the time to build something worth following.  I now focus more on writing good things.  If the work is good, the people will come.  No amount of jumping up and down on Twitter shouting “look at me” will help if you don’t have quality at the other end of the link. 

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  • http://blessingmpofu.com Blessing Mpofu

    I think i experience similar trappings. i’ve realized that “parking”links is one way that raises my stress levels because i felt the need to read EVERY blog that seemed to have sometging of substance. i’ve leaent to make peace with the fact that i don’t NEED to do that. that my capacity is limited & my effectiveness in othet areas can be crippled by this seemingly small thing. And, in perspective, it is often such small things that get in the way

  • http://www.about.me/minto.roy Minto Roy

    This is a big topic, but in most cases if you think about even business development setting two quality meetings a day with potential clients. Those are two meetings, in person that take time to setup, prepare and then visit with that last at minimum an hour plus travel time. I resonate with this article in terms of the time perspective but also with people in general. Are you living in your Outlook in box the majority of the day pushing meaningless electrons around the internet all day? Are you satisfied with the emotional and positive impacts that your day has done to support others? We are in the worst economic environment on the history of the earth, and as things change I hope that businesses, people and process adapt to a more wholesome approach to relationships and the value of trust, integrity, and opportunity.

  • http://www.hvinsider.com/articles/ Jay

    I have to say that I agree with ALL you have said. As a partner in a start-up local news website I found myself wanting to be “out there” as often as I could. That included leaving my Facebook chat open, checking comments on articles posted, following Twitter and at the same time editing copy, posting articles,cropping images,emailing potential content providers ..you name it – I wore the hat. Fast forward a year and I was making arrangements to buy my business partners out and take the business in a direction that I was the captain. I found myself in that same position or at least restarting those same inefficient, time consuming tasks that I thought were all so important. I have just recently started to focus much more at the task at hand – creating content – because in my line of work content is king. The more news that can be pushed to those wanting it the better. I know that being “available” to anyone at any given minute during the normal work day is good, if that’s all you have to do. I’m glad to see that I’m correct in wanting to scale down my online persona to set chunks of time rather than an anytime schedule. It will make for much more productive use of my time – and I will still be able to touch base with those that wish to or need to. Again thank you for a look inside your inner thoughts on the subject and it definitely shed some light on my own situation.

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