June 4, 2009 61 Comments

On Falling and Flying

Fallen

It strikes me that people in business are afraid to fall. “We’ve been doing it this way all along, and even though the results are diminishing, we’re just going to keep doing this.” You’ve heard this, right?

I have fallen quite often in life. I intend to do so many times over. Falling is the only way to learn how to fly. Want to walk before you fly? “Walking is a series of controlled falls.” – Stephen Wright, comedian.

The recurring answer to “how do you do it?” is actually quite drab. “I just start somewhere.” This answer is the sparrow of answers, the tofu, the ground beef.

But in there, snuck into the recipe, is the falling. For every success, several failures, or at least stumbles. For every launch, a faceplant.

This is how it’s done. You stand up. You take a breath. You step forward. What happens next is binary: either you fall or you do not. When you fall, you feel those sensations related to it (mostly bad things and negative things), and then you move forward.

What does any of this have to do with business communications? Everything. There are no blueprints. We are all making them up. We will fall. But then, we will fly.

And flying, friends, is a beautiful thing. No?

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  • http://www.socialmedianz.wordpress.com/ Siobhan bulfin

    I love this post. Without darkness we don't know light. Without having failed, how can we really know what the opposite is.
    I have fallen plenty, but I fly when I can, and having experienced it once I know I can do it again.
    Bravo to you and your wonderful prose :)

  • http://www.deceptionsecrets.com/ Jef Nance

    What really separates great achievers from the average is a tolerance for failure. Most people–average people–don't have much.

    How much punishment, rejection, falling… can you take? The degree to which you can stand these pains might be directly proportinate to the result you get. Bow out early, and you miss the trunk full of jewels just over the next hill top.

    Too philisophically sappy? Hope not. It's all true.

    Great thoughts, Chris, to the point and right on!

    -jef

    http://www.deceptionsecrets.com

  • http://bit.ly/yrJaf frank burns

    In some circumstances for certain people this is true, for others they have to find themselves when they become “Lost”. Falling is one of the keys to success in any field, if you have the courage to pick yourself up and fight on eventually you will attain the level where you want to be. For myself, I don't ask for anything I don't deserve but when I retrace my movements over the last 16 years I'd have to say, there are at least half a million reasons why i should put my hand up?
    I see that my path is clear and it doesn't matter where I am, displaced or other, my goal is set towards creating revenue that will be donated to help charities around the world. I believe in myself that this can be achieved. http://tinyurl.com/cle76u

  • http://www.netwitsthinktank.com frank barry

    We had better learn how to walk though! We can't keep falling and accept it … or think that 'we are going to fall, it's the way things are' …

    We have to learn from our 'fall', failure, mistake and take steps to do better next time, grow, take 3 steps instean of the 2 we took the last time.

    I think people fail to 'fall', because they are scared. They took 2 steps, got comfortable and took a seat. Now they live there in their day to day jobs.

    What's my take away from this? I need to fall and help others fall by teaching through my example that we need to change things, grow, learn, push through and create a better world.

    I think that is the obvious point to your post though :)

    http://twitter.com/franswaa

  • http://www.33charts.com/ DrV

    Love the post. 'cept the first image in your trio freaks me out. Make it go away

  • http://ewainthegarden.blogspot.com/ Ewa

    This is sweet post Chris and great reminder, that even in the most dificult situations there is a solution, we only need to dare to see it.
    …
    From my experience, 'falling' periods are most creative ones in my life.
    ..
    Greetings,

  • http://www.pimpyourmarketing.com/ Chris Donaldson

    I think it comes back to Seth Godin's advice on social media: start. Don't be afraid to put yourself out there and be heard, and know that anytime you take a chance there will inevitably be fits and starts, miscues, and stutters around the simplest of words. But start anyway. Learn Chinese today, or the piano, or……

    One of my teacher's back in the day used to say there are only two emotions: love and fear. Both are intertwined, but one will rule the day. Our choice.

    Thanks,

    Chris Donaldson
    http://www.pimpyourmarketing.com

  • http://www.MyMommyManual.com/ Ria Sharon

    And another “gift” of falling, Chris that I experienced just today is that the act of falling allows you empathy/compassion for those who have fallen too. That ability to connect with others… it's what makes us human AND divine!

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  • http://horsealicious.com/ Susie Blackmon

    Let 'er buck Baby.

  • http://www.dougkreitzberg.com/ Doug Kreitzberg

    Jim Estill, former CEO of Synex, talks about failing often, failing fast, failing cheap. To innovate, to grow, requires pushing boundaries at all edges of the organization. It also requires empowerment and an honest and open culture of dialogue and feedback (sound similar to social media?). In today's environment, where fear rules, it is the companies and individuals who are willing to step off the curb, perhaps skin a knee, then try it again another way that are going to win.

  • http://www.loft107.com/ Tally Netzer

    if you are going to fail, fail fast

    is becoming a must in our fast paced world.
    And while relinquishing fear is sometimes one of the toughest things to do
    Its the doing, over and over again, that allows you to grow and succeed

    loved the post
    thank you

  • http://twitter.com/RamonBNuezJr Ramon B. Nuez Jr.

    When you talked about falling I thought about my 6 month old son. No matter how many times he tries to stand up – he falls – he cries. Then not more than 10 minutes goes by and he tries again – only to fall again. I think somewhere along the way adults lose that blind commitment to a purpose. To never give up – to have such a deep desire to succeed that the only thing you see is the result.

  • http://www.macduffrealty.com/ Joe Shoemaker

    The way of love is not a subtle argument.
    The door there is devastation.
    Birds make great sky-circles of their freedom.
    How do they learn it?
    They fall, and falling, they're given wings.

    Rumi

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=618562877 facebook-618562877

    Light news day?

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=618562877 facebook-618562877

    Light news day…

  • FrankReed

    Chris – I have been told to just try to fall forward as often as you can. It implies that at least we are trying to move ahead rather than stay still.

    We are all truly 'winging it' in the brave new world of business communications. That is what makes it fun. As soon as there are 'rules of engagement' I suspect many will move on to the next 'frontier'.

    Take care.

  • calum

    This is a great posting. I like your clarity.

    We thougth failing/ falling in business/ financially was the worst thing that could have happened to us. When we hit bottom we found we were still in one piece and we were still in love, more to be honest. We were tested and we found how good we are together.

    There is also a relief and freedom in knowing that the only way to go now is up.

    We will keep on trying to fly. Every day.

    Calum

  • http://www.hanifinloyalty.com/ billhanifin

    Chris, I am with you 100% but when you present this approach to most of corporate america, the eyes glaze over and fear of disappointing someone up in the hierarchy precludes risk taking activity. Innovation will continue to come from the independent source. Keep walking, falling, and succeeding!

  • http://twitter.com/startabuzz Honeybee Consulting

    Chris: This is a a great post. A little life lesson is never a bad thing. I think the key is not to be AFRAID to fall. It's fear, I think, that paralyzes so many people into complacency; into settling for what they have, instead of TRYING to get what they really want.

    After several years “off” to focus on raising my kids, I decided to start my own firm. People asked, “How are you doing to do THAT??” I said, “I just am. I have to start somewhere.” So far, it's working out great! I've stumbled here and there, but each of those instances taught me something new, gave me greater resolve and focus. It's all good!

    “Don't be afraid to go out on a limb, that's where the fruit is.”

  • evanarsdall

    This post really speaks to me. 2009 has been a difficult year in some respects. It started off with a forced furlough from a lucrative contract and spiraled from there. I was feeling pretty low about my prospects.

    I had already paid for a couple of 2009 conferences during the last quarter of last year, requiring extensive travel and expense accrual. I was beating myself up because I had spent the money. But I took a flying leap, hoping that my travels would pay off, and they did. Things have been on a steady ascent ever since.

    I credit ever-growing online community for my successes. Sharing ideas and learning from my peers has become the stuff of life.

    Eddie

  • http://www.TweetNetworking.com/ Mark J. Carter

    That's a post we all need to read and re-read from time to time; it seems common sense (“oh, of course I'll keep trying”) and common practice (“I don't want to try again”) don't always go hand in hand.

    Following the philosophy from the post also allows you the great opportunity to be an inspiration for others because of the results that happen from getting back up time and time again…then reaching success.

    Thanks!

  • http://twitter.com/TruffleMedia TruffleMediaJohnBlue

    Super thought to share:) BTW, the three pane head shot reminds me of those famous three pane shoots in Playboy interviews (hahahaha).

    Funny, as parents we are encouraging our children to keep trying (riding a bike anyone?); if you fall down, get back up and try again. The main difference ? Kids don't have drilled in them the “never try, never fail” idea. (from movie Robots:Crank: Never try, never fail. Those are the words I live by.).

    So get back on that bike!

  • http://twitter.com/corettajackson Coretta Jackson, MBA

    Chris,

    I love how you just tell it like it is!

    So many people are afraid to fail, or fall… to try something…new.

    Falling is empowering. When it happens the cascading emotions can be quite overwhelming….but still “the fall” can be transformative– if we allow it to.

    For me, this is where emotional intelligence (EQ) and my faith enter. I am reminded that I can choose how I respond to change and knowing this anchors me spiritually.

    Never fear change. Overcome.

    @corettajackson

  • http://www.livepath.net/ LEigh Durst

    Isn't there a saying that says “Fall six times, get up seven?”

    Nice reflective post and refreshing to hear from you, Chris. :-) Thanks!

    I think the best place to be is at a place where there's a healthy recognition that while failure is a possibility it's not the objective –> and that it doesn't signify the end of the world. :-)

  • http://mckenna-design.com/ Cyndi McKenna

    As my art teacher used to say, “There is no blue if everything is blue.” It's accepting the need for contrast that gives us the right balance and perspective.

  • http://qhealthbeauty.wordpress.com/ Therese

    This is a great post and so true. What hurts us is when we hold onto our failures in fear of failing again.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Michael-Schechter/529575214 Michael Schechter

    Great post and an amazing way to start the day! Thanks as always for what you do, but especially for this post!

  • http://www.yourstorys.com/ Larry Lawfer

    Falling is one of the biggest parts of successful people's lives. The statistics for failure among the successful are far greater than those who have never achieved success. This is true because failure closes the door on an option that needn't be tried again, you move on to another choice. After many choices you find ways to be successful. Success feels so much better than failure, but they are linked. So all I can think to say is go out and fail today, because you are then one step closer to your success.

  • http://www.ideas2chew.com/ Chris Thiede

    Failure is extremely under-rated in our society, and it's a shame that so many enjoy mocking or dismissing those who have failed. Admittedly, I do it myself at times.

    We ought not look down our nose who try and fail. Every stumble is one step closer to greatness.

  • http://anniegirl1138.wordpress.com/ annie

    That is just it though. Most people believe there is a way to succeed without failing/falling because they've had more experiences that were positive from the get-go than stutter-starts, so when the law of averages catches up, they don't know how to take a fall and get back up.

    And the world we live in is more and more designed to insulate people from taking the knocks they need in order to learn to fly. Could the big Wall Street bailouts have happened if we truly believed that failure was a key component of eventual success?

  • http://www.iangilyeat.com/ Elizabeth

    This is a great post. I have been discussing this very topic with several people recently. One of whom wants to start up a website but doesn't do it because she doesn't have a lot of know how. She's afraid of falling or failing, whichever way you want to say it. But failure is the quickest way to success. 1) it means you're actually *doing* something and 2) the more times you fail the closer you are to doing it right. It is the quickest way to learn how not to and how to do something.

  • http://www.engauge.co.uk/ask Vandy Massey

    This post makes me think of my favourite quotation: “Leap and the net will appear” (attributed to John Burroughs and also Julia Cameron…although I think John Burroughs may have said it first). For me its message has been massively motivating. It reminds me to trust that I will find the resources I need at the right time.

    Only by taking that leap will we find our strengths.

    I love the perspective on falling – being able to pick yourself up and learn from the experience is just a different type of safety net.

  • http://www.ifibercompany.com/ Russ

    Fear is powerful. People are afreaid to take chances and step out of the box. People need to take more chances.

  • http://thebrandbuilder.wordpress.com olivierBlanchard

    Kickass post, Chris. But isn't that the rub: So many people in management or “leadership” positions being terrified of failure?

    Many folks (like me) push the envelope with every project. With every endeavor. We look for cracks. We look for weaknesses. We push until something breaks because we want to know how and why something fails. We learn from that. That's what prototyping and experimentation are for. (The good old IDEO model: “Fail often to succeed faster.”)

    So failure is good. It's a learning process. And once you start seeing it as part of the process of success, you stop being afraid of it. Hell, it becomes your friend. Not REAL failure, but controlled failure. Purposeful failure. Failure in the sense that in order to be innovative and in a leadership position, you have to exist in a state of continuous beta.

    Yet most business managers, leaders, people with any type of authority often seem completely risk-adverse. Not only that, but they don't like to admit that they don't know or understand something. Or that they could have done something better. Or that they might need help.

    I know it's human nature to compensate for insecurity with ego, but man… it seems like we have created quite the corporate culture of fear and irrational behavior over the last few decades. How do we change that?

    The issue being not so much how to eradicate fear of “real” failure (we all have to wrestle with that) but rather how do we help other people and companies deal with it in a productive rather than a paralyzing way?

  • http://thoughtbythought.net Tre

    so after the book a school..yes? ongoing. you teach and speak the way my thoughts flow. and countless others. you're willing to put it out there. we're all getting there. i can honestly say i'm not afraid of failing. too many times already in the past i seem to have :) thanks for the integretous no bs call it like it is. again. and again.

  • bzimmerman

    The fear of falling is the single greatest source of failure in any venture, both in business and elsewhere in life. I often tell clients that people never fail, they quit …If you define failure as a lack of goal attainment after doing everything in their power to succeed. Most of us (me included) stop because we are afraid, or really uncomfortable and refuse to do that which would make us successful. So, I agree with you the only way to begin social networking is to begin it (I had to overcome the internal dialogue in my head that I don't know if anyone will like what I am writing to even write it).

  • http://twitter.com/jtarre Jason Tarre

    I think fear makes us human, embrace your fear, hug it tight, and your fear will vanish.

    I had my usual jitters at a networking event last night. About an hour in, I just started bumping into people and saying hi, and my fear disappeared.

    Honeybee, I agree that people should go for what they want, but I don't think they can readily ignore their fears. I like your quote at the end.

  • ShannonJust

    So true! NICE to know none of us are alone.

  • http://www.davidsanger.com David Sanger

    On practising the Art of Falling

    http://bit.ly/BmIon

    “In the future they expect to be able to program robots to fall in the best way possible in a given situation”

    New Scientist

  • http://dannybrown.me/ Danny Brown

    I think you have to temper it to situations, Chris.

    I agree, falling and starting again does make you stronger – if you learn from it. It's easier to sustain a fall if you're a lone business or entrepreneur.

    But what happens if you're the CEO of a multi-billion dollar company or industry giant? And you take thousands of loyal employees down with you when you fall? Who then have to start again through no fault of their own?

    So I agree that you need to fall to learn. But sometimes the fall is harder on others than it is you.

  • Chris

    Things like this always make me think of Batman Begins.

    Alfred Pennyworth: Took quite a fall, didn't we, Master Bruce?
    Thomas Wayne: And why do we fall, Bruce? So we can learn to pick ourselves up.

  • http://www.robmcguire.net Rob McGuire

    I think this is a good point for those who are just beginning to venture into new territory, but as you gain more ground the falls cost more. And just maybe, if you've matured enough in whatever endeavor you're going in, a fall may inhibit your ability to fly again.

  • http://www.spotlightideasforum.co.uk/ Eamon

    As Richard Branson said 'there's a fine line between success and failure.' Branson has had loads of failures and near-miss disasters on the way.
    But, overall, his business is flying .. and, Virgin Atlantic is even doing well when other airlines are struggling in today's economic climate.

  • http://twitter.com/grahamfarrar Graham Farrar

    great post chris. i like it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Scott-Germaise/524009618 Scott Germaise

    “And flying, friends, is a beautiful thing. No?”

    Yes. But… gotta' tell ya'… I'm kind of glad neither my skydiving instructor nor flight instructor ever really bought off on the the “faceplant” mentioned as a requirement to get past. So I'm all for the concept you're going for; not so thrilled with the metaphor! : )

    More seriously, while I do generally agree with your point for Social Media, Entrepreneurship and life in general, it's also potentially useful to understand the nature of failure today. And that is that it's often public. (And persistent in search history.) While failure can be good, healthy and a growth experience, neither is it acceptable to careen recklessly forward. The fail fast and iterate approach is fine sometimes. I personally believe it works most of the time for Internet/tech type efforts. Though maybe for heart monitors. Or nuclear safety systems. Or…[insert your own mission critical thing]. Moreover, it's a fuzzy space between where it's OK to release and then iterate vs. just not being ready. Failure? Sure, it's absolutely positively going to happen and personal resiliency is – I believe – among the most important traits a person can have. But Fear of Failure isn't always Bad. It's also motivational to NOT fail. There's a very real difference between Fear and Panic/Paralysis. Just as there's a difference between confidence to 'put something out there' vs. lack of any fear allowing for pure crap.

    Anyway, staying with the theme here, I have to share the Woody Allen Quote: “If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.”

  • http://gerardmclean.com/ Gerard McLean

    I'm going to be a contrarian here and say that I long for the good ol' days when we didn't see the warts on our celebrities, our presidents weren't shown in frailty and we didn't see how sausage was made.

    I am getting very tired of having to acknowledge effort with the same weight as accomplishment. I don't want to clap at your guitar tuning; I want to save that for your performance. Of course every success is lined with failure, but quit redefining the failures as successes.

    Unless that failure is PostIt Notes.

  • http://detroit.fwix.com Jamie Favreau

    You create the life you lead.
    If you aren't willing to take the chance and fail. Then there isn't anyone else who can do it for you.
    I have made a ton of bad choices in my life and I have learned from them. But you can't know what you don't know with out taking them. I also believe with out bad experiences you don't learn what you do not like.
    Life isn't a fairy tale. You learn things from them and then you move on. I am not where I need to be but I can tell you I have learned a heck of lot and grown a lot even from meeting the people at Module 09! (Chris Brogan, Scott Monty, Shannon Paul, Ambur Naslund, etc…) I have grown beyond my years and I am grateful!!!

  • Pingback: Fail if you must, but quit telling us about it | GerardMcLean.com

  • http://www.starlineforklifts.com.au/ Ran"Forklifts"Tan

    I totally agree with you. In business there are ups and downs but the important thing is to keep on moving forward and learn from the mistakes we made. Thanks for the inspiring quote on your article.

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