Our Perception of Others – Kitchen Table Talks

It's important, Connie. Getting a first read is different than being open to having a second read. : )

Some day, someone will want an entire post of only my vulnerabilities. Weird, that. : )

The first thing I do at every event is connect with people. The second thing I do at every event is connect with people. The third thing I do at every event is connect with people. : )

We are always the #1 limit to our own success.

I'm always weird about that math. But you're right that showing up is part of it.

We are all people. : )

It's okay. You've got other ways to share, and share you do. How are you? It's been a while. Glad you're here. : )

Interesting. I'll have to check that one out, Judy. Thanks for pointing it out to me.

Definitely Chris. Life is full of different perceptions. What we see here is totally different from what this person sees. However, we should always get the whole side of the story before making judgements and/or perceptions about someone.

One of my friends in England comes from rather ‘good stock’, so to speak. Think of Hugh Grant with humility and you get the idea.
Anyway, I once asked him how he does it, i.e. make everyone enjoy his company. He said a ‘gentleman puts others at ease’.
What he meant was that in social events he’d put his own worries aside and make others feel comfortable instead. It’s a wonderful gift.

Great Kitchen table talk Chris,

One of my closest friends in college told me a while back that when he first met me he thought I was kind of snob and a jerk because I did not talk all that much when he was around.

He just realized that I was introverted and apprehensive around new people. I am very thankful to my friend for sharing this with me because it made me realize how much I tended to judge people before ever getting to know them.

So true, and I think very helpful for folks to know that those feelings don't really go away. At no point do we “make it” and stop being nervous. It's always in how we reframe to allow ourselves to take the step anyway. I always try to picture the worst thing that could happen- since it never involves locusts or plagues, I usually just go forth and see what I can do.:)

Thanks for being open. It helps.

Perceptions often override reality, instead of reality driving perception.
Your speaking engagement stories ring true. I've had the same thing even when presenting on things I'm the 'expert' on. Folks tend to assume things about speakers, especially ones they've never met.

One thing I'm still learning though is that the audience that attends your speaking engagement is anxious to see you succeed. Their hope is that you'll blow their socks off, and in a positive way, this influences their perception of how you'll come off.

Your comment about connecting to people is spot on. So many folks that present are first about the sell and less about giving value to people. How soon they forget that giving people value means they'll be coming back again to get more.

Cheers,
Todd 'tojosan' Jordan

Perceptions of who you are and what you are like. Interesting. This happens numerous times a day when we come into contact with people. We immediately develop a thought on who they are based upon things they say or do. Sometimes we are right and dead on and other times we could not be further from the truth. There are varying degrees of knowing people but in social media there seems to be a perceived attitude towards who people are, esp. the SM leaders. We want to be friends with them, we want to be a part of them, we want them to let people know that they know us – but doesn't this challenge our own judgment on who people are and why we would even want to get to know them?

The emphasis and importance placed upon certain people, like yourself, has caused us to stop thinking about the person as a person as we place them on a higher level. The need/desire to be like or recognized by the social media leaders has almost paralyzed our social skills and created a cult of attention. The “see me, mention me, oh you are nervous before a speech, me too so now we should be friends, right and make sure people know that as that is what I need out of this relationship; and oh yeah please do it on my timeline” way of building relationships.

I enjoy the kitchen table talks as it focuses our attention on you and the others as people. You take a shower, you put on pants one leg at a time, you have thoughts, ideas, you laugh, smile, get stomach aches, headaches … Maybe it is just that our attention is focused elsewhere that we do not think about that or maybe for some they do not care to or want to.

@SuzanneVara

Ha! I'm sure it's all good “judgments”. Listened to your interview with Sonia Simone last week at Third Tribe Marketing – good advise.

I actually experience this quite a bit when I'm speaking in front of a group. As a deep introvert, I'm always going bonkers inside when I present, but afterward people come up to me and mention how calm and confident I looked. It surprises me actually. Oh, if they only knew.

And you made a great point, Chris, when you said to be conscious of this in others. Too often, we're aware of our own feelings, but neglect to look deeper when we interact with others.

ancient flame totem
it stops the mouth not to say suddenly. three monster fox in front of it, have stood slowly, the hand extends to the bosom, put out nightfall uggs discount ugg boots both sides to have the red silk guangzhou's magic weapon, was precisely the unreliable fire warning. in this hot flame steamings in the lava burrow, the unreliable fire warning is also short black ugg illuminated faintly blushes, but center it that ancient flame totem, ugg usa as if also will at this moment burn ultra short ugg general, several want to spurt thinly. three monster fox,

open in the ugg uk small ordinary way of seeing things that gentle white clothing female, at this moment is staring in hand's unreliable fire warning, several, some drop of teardrops, have not dropped quietly suddenly in the unreliable fire warning, a moment later, changes to makes the white smoke, curls raises. the book arrives at here, what is really the tear falls the front piece, mourns in one's heart, if dies, compares the author to write about here also unavoidably to stop the pen not to be good, does not endure to continue, that falls quietly waterdrop, but also withers and falls between your mine heart