May 12, 2009 118 Comments

Shut The Hell Up You Self-Promoting Turd

Chris Brogan in a nifty shirt“With our award-winning process designed to meet your business needs, we feel confident that you’ll love our forward-thinking solution.”

What? Shut up! Just stop it. I don’t know why we have to revisit the lesson, but let’s do it, just to be clear: everything you know about a nice dinner party applies to all business communication. Here’s one: your host, unless he’s a true asshole, doesn’t spend the entire dinner talking about himself. (see also, that guy.)

You want to promote your company? Get out there and empower people. When I was an aspiring high school garage band guitarist, I’d read every article by my favorite bands. If Eddie Van Halen or James Hetfield or Chuck D was using a piece of equipment, I’d think, “That’s how they sound so amazing,” and I’d make a note of that as something I might want to save for.

No company could pay for the kind of bond my eyes made between the musician and his tools.

I was a big Dungeons and Dragons guy in high school (in other words, a loser). My friends and I would make epic storytelling happen four or five times a week in my basement. There was no ad TSR could have made that would have sold us on why their stuff was better than some other game. We already knew. Because they’d empowered us to be the masters of our own destiny.

Here’s a truth: If you have to tell me you’re the best, you’re not. If you have to write that you’ve got an award-winning something, you’re worried that I don’t know you have game. If you’re selling the best whatever-it-is in the world, stop talking about it. Start telling me how I can use it to make me into a superstar.

The best, most magical thing that can ever happen in marketing is catching your customers bragging it up about you. Give them the mic, dammit. Give them the stage. Make them the center of your damned world, not your stupid “drive yourself to Maui” user-generated video contest.

Believe me: you have been granted the very best tools in the whole damned world to both discover who’s bragging about your company, and then to give them the stage. Do it. Stop your own internal promotions.

Oh, and if no one’s raving about you, that might be another problem entirely.

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  • Scott

    Uncanny – just as I finished reading the post, a co-worker came into our area and started telling us how great he is at his job.

    His “brand” is well known in the office and he really is good at his job, but seriously, he is a “self-promoting turd.” So, we just don't deal with him unless we have to.

  • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

    You're not wrong, Dean. I do tend to write things as if the world is me. But hey, what can I do on that front?

    But essentially, the biggest point is: don't make it about you; make it about your customer. Do you concur?

  • bcavanaugh

    Marketing is “open mic night” isn't it? Maybe marketing is about creating a venue for the voices and not a message for the campaign… Thanks, this will help me with an important task today.
    @bcavanaugh

  • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

    I quite agree with your premise that no one is me. Here's how stories work: the storyteller weaves with you, and you (the listener in this case) get to decide whether or not you can identify with any bits of the story. Some of us want to be the storyteller's narrator or hero. I want to BE Batman. But, as it turns out I eat at McDonalds, am not a billionaire, and have both parents quite healthy and alive, I'm not Batman.

    And yet, I learn from Batman's story the kinds of things I *can* take away and I do those things.

    My stories are not intents for you to be me. They're intended to share perspectives on how the next web is working in its attempt to humanize the universe.

  • https://twitter.com/MNPlanner MN Planner

    I bet you like Weezer. Nice comments on D&D and guitars. Reminds me of myself.
    Have you seen the Chipotle article in today's adweek? It supports your idea of giving the mic to the consumer.
    http://www.adweek.com/aw/content_display/news/a…

  • http://www.dbthomas.com David B. Thomas

    Hey, Chris. Your mention of Chuck D reminded me of meeting him at my previous job and inspired a blog post called “What Chuck D taught me about social media.”

    http://davidbthomas.wordpress.com/2009/05/12/wh…

  • http://theothersideofeverything.com DeanWhitbread

    I try not to think as people as customers, and I avoid using marketing terms of reference even in business.

    I come from an expressive background – like yourself – and we both know there's nothing more painful than a monologue being delivered to an audience which is “not there” – a communication which misses the point and thereby fails. Your point was exactly the opposite of this, and thus was effective.

    Then again, as writers – which is something we both are now – we write what needs to be written. If you consider your reader too much, your material almost always suffers. Best not to worry too much about your readers, in fact, and actually just satisfy yourself.

  • http://alasdairmunn.com ajmunn

    Absolutely re stories. They are part of what makes us human. Hey I too want to be Batman, and for a few years in my childhood I was.
    My comment here was not meant to be anything other than a reminder that we must be who we are. We need to promote ourselves according to our personal strengths and according to where we are within our lives. You have done that for yourself through hard work and dedication. Your actions and reputation speak for themselves. This did not happen for you overnight.
    Others may need to get there through self promotion and saying the right thing to the right person at the right time.
    As long as you can back that up through action and ability and you are sincere, it might help a person get to the stage where their actions can speak for themselves. It might allow individuals to work on the projects that will show their worth.
    In the meantime there is the immediate need to sustain oneself and to find the opportunities that will allow them to prove themselves.
    But yes, opportunism and overkill on the self promotion, cliched marketing speak is a turn off

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  • http://www.iloveclosing.com TC

    Does this link count as crapping on your website:

    http://iloveclosing.com/2009/05/11/dictionary-o…

    Cheers
    TC

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  • http://www.mikemccready.ca/blog/ Mike McCready

    This is true across all industries. I work in higher education and I think having real students and people talk about a program or the school in general is far more powerful than a campaign that says 'Come to XYZ College. We have the highest employment rate.” or something like that. There is a lot of power in authentic messaging. Companies and other institutions need to find their most vocal advocate and have them share their message instead of it being a traditional marketing message. People will promote a product, company or school if their experience is worth sharing. Good ideas again Chris.

  • http://brainages.blogspot.com/ Alain Lemay

    I think we're actually talking about two (at least two) different things here. If I am writing copy, for an ad or a client, then I absolutely have to consider my audience at every line. If I am writing on my blog, which by definition is editorial in nature, then I am writing to satisfy myself and the world be damned.

    To get back to Chris' original point, anyone that deals with consultants has had that meeting where the consultant basically just brags about their accomplishment non-stop for the lenght of the meeting. Those that do so rarely get hired (at least not by me). The good ones come in and tell me what we could accomplish together. That's how I know if they are any good, not by their bragging but by their ideas and how they can help me.

    And those consultants don't need to brag to anyone because their satisfied customers recommend them constantly and they have more work than they can handle.

  • http://www.justinparks.com justinparks

    Somebody really got your knickers in a twist today Chris.

    Basically what your saying is that its about balance though no?

    Im not the best at what I do, but I know im a hell of a lot better than others and vice versa. Its knowing when to stand up and make sure your heard and when to step back and accept or admit that someone else knows about that subject or thing much better than you.

    Relatively speaking in marketing or sales its the same. Dont put yourself down, but dont big yourself up (to much) a create a pedestal which is easy to fall from. Be confident, but not overbearing and be considerate without being trampled.

    The largest problem I have is making the client understand that its all about the customer and not about them but thats half the fun I suppose.

  • http://BeachFitBody.com Timothy Carter

    You NAILED it Chris…it's essentially all about the CUSTOMER & THEIR experience with it…not the other way around. In “selling”…it's about finding what meets the CUSTOMER'S need/want/desire…not the other way around!

  • http://themarketingsleuth.com/ Caleb Gardner

    Great post, Chris. I completely agree. Self-promotion is the staple of modern marketing. We need to flush it down the toilet.

    PS, “Shup” should be “shut” in your title. :)

  • http://www.jackhumphrey.com Jack Humphrey

    Who wants to hear about what their customers and prospects want? I want more ME in the conversation! For instance, I am incredible! I also got a merit badge before I was even a scout.

    While I agree with some of what you said, like, the words “to” and “give them the mic” – the rest didn't make any sense to me. And it's all about me!

  • michealsavoie

    The toughest part a lot of new marketers have with self promotion is getting their products into the hands of customers. I would often try to find people I could trade my product for theirs to get it in their hands. Once they had it, it was much easier to let them start raving!

    Now I try to avoid mentioning my own stuff. My goal is to help others become successful as quickly as possible. Period. With their success, my success will follow!

    Thanks for the reminder!

    Micheal

  • http://www.resurrectyourhero.com Blanca Mejia

    me, me, me, you, you, you, us, us, us…..maybe someone can create a song. I've been on twitter for just a few months only…it is very noisy…but the good thing is you can be selective with the kind of noise. I love learning what the shiny new tool is to “get out there in internet marketing”, but the more I see and learn, the more I just prefer to keep it simple.

    So I guess being confident is like a good song. If it's good, people will listen..if not they'll change the channel or turn it off. If people would utilize their innate talents in better ways, there would be much better music. But instead many are trying to be what they are not. That's why there's so much bad music.

  • http://theothersideofeverything.com DeanWhitbread

    Arrogance and self-centered bragging is a turn off, right? However, marketing obsessives are also a turn off. “Get out there and empower people” was the phrase I picked up on. Subtle, but important.

  • http://on-comingtraffic.com/ Kim

    “Here’s a truth: If you have to tell me you’re the best, you’re not.”

    I completely agree. I dated a guy once that insisted he was extremely laid back….ugg.

  • http://www.AnEclecticMind.com/ Maria

    “Here’s a truth: If you have to tell me you’re the best, you’re not.”

    That's it in a nutshell. And it explains why I get so turned off by people with Twitter profiles that proclaim themselves gurus and experts.

  • http://www.AnEclecticMind.com/ Maria

    Yeah, I caught that, too. Pretty damn funny.

  • jeffcutler

    This one line sais it all… everything you know about a nice dinner party applies to all business communication.

    I love that sentiment.

    Thanks Chris!

  • http://www.metzgerblog.com Doyle Albee

    There's a reason it's called “social” media — there are some social acceptable behaviors that are starting to emerge. There's nothing worse than getting cornered at a cocktail party by a guy that doesn't want to chat, but wants to add you to his Amway downline, or push insurance, or a million other things.

    Folks that just push their business, affiliate or otherwise, on social networks are the online equivalents of those party boors. I believe (maybe hope?) that the networks will weed them out.

  • kgaps

    Self-absorbed marketers and business will always be looking for their next gig. They create a following through excitement that only last until people get upset and don't get what they were promised. My experience in the industry is that those that promote themselves the most also execute the least. They don't think about all the details as they are all about promotion.

    Building businesses that last takes a Hub Mentality (http://www.kgaps.com) where we are just as concerned about connecting to clients as impressing them.

  • Anna

    So true! I just started doing door-to-door sales and it is killer. I work with dvdprods.com, a really great company that helps young businesses. I know I am young and still unexperienced, but even I know that sales are closed faster through referrals than cold leads. The only way to sell anything is to show them how much BETTER life will be for them once they have it!

  • http://gregcryns.blogspot.com greg cryns

    I enjoy and employ social networking in my business.

    However, there are many times when spending money on Adwords makes more sense especially when I have a product to sell instead of promoting myself. Frankly, I have an awful time selling even information products on my blog. Lately, it's been difficult using any method.

  • http://www.homewiththekids.com/blog/ Stephanie

    But I AM special! Mommy and Daddy told me so! Now I need to tell the whole world.

    Seriously, it really is about sharing information. Talk about yourself as appropriate, but be a great resource too.

  • http://fairiemoonchild.blogspot.com/ Sam

    As always, you're perfect. I mean really. Who could have said THAT better?! There is nothing better in my world than seeing/watching my clients grow. I seldom get a lot of credit for it, but beam & glow like a mother hen when I see them excel, achieve, prosper and meet goals of success. Best part? They KNOW I love them and am totally on their team. They always come back and send their friends to me too.

  • owen chapman

    This blog is THE MOST sensible thing on the entire internet. You don't need to denigrate yourself, you just need to SHOW you have game.

    ANd if you really ARE the best, don't worry . . . people talk.

  • http://www.chilesadvertising.com Lawton Chiles

    Chris, you nailed it on the head

    Here’s a truth: If you have to tell me you’re the best, you’re not. If you have to write that you’ve got an award-winning something, you’re worried that I don’t know you have game. If you’re selling the best whatever-it-is in the world, stop talking about it. Start telling me how I can use it to make me into a superstar.

    This is the reason why, our pride, that people don't keep coming back. Pride gets in the way. Let's use our humility to make others feel like kings.

    In what ways could we make people feel like kings on our blogs, media platforms?

  • http://mymindshare.com Jim Bursch

    I think companies get that kind of copy when they pay someone else to write for them.

    I suspect that if they wrote for themselves about themselves, it has a much better chance of being/sounding genuine.

    Perhaps that is the lesson — don't outsource your story telling.

  • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

    That was the point of the picture. : )

  • http://gabegarms.blogspot.com Gabe Garms

    Chris – I'd be interested in hearing your thoughts on how crowdsourcing can be a means of giving consumers the mic. Or any other means that you feel are effective.

  • http://amazingserviceguy.com Kevin Stirtz

    A smart person once told me the most interesting people in the world are those who ask others about themselves and then listen. They have the greatest impact on others because they make THEM a priority. Same for people who are described as having charisma or warmth or likability. They all do the same thing: they focus on other people – making them the center of their world. And the people in their world love them.

    What if we built businesses around this idea. Imagine the impact.

  • http://www.linkedin.com/in/paulsprofile Paul Bailey

    Dear Chris,
    WOW! This article sums up for me why I've grown to enjoy your commentary and insight: Because it's straight from the hip genuine, truthful, with personality that can't be bought.
    My undergraduate degree was in communications management (a social view of management). I was taught, 'communications is two-way and the goal is build relationships…' Of course, some instructed to build a blow horn bigger than the other guy so that your 'message' for your client is louder than the next dudes. However, regardless of another being an 'ambassador or advocate for your brand' or simply a genuine 'referral' in the making, thanks for reminding us that it's about relationships that say, 'hey, you take the stage.' If where patient, we'll learn something from those that we've built a relationship with.

  • Dave Falconetti

    Don't forget to include many poser photos and videos of your branded self– jeez are you transparent

  • jimgray69

    Wow…I agree on so many parts of this post. I've really had to change my thinking from coming out of a Fortune500 to nothing…just silence and and empty email inbox.

  • http://www.twitter.com/johnstack John Stack

    Chris, I agree with you (because @tdempsey told me to, nah.) What strikes me most about this notion is that the blogger universe (me included) tend to relate things to people as it relates to them simply due to the fact that they don't have the discipline or the time or patience to talk to folks and get an actual quote or two or to find out what they're really thinking about an idea. From my perspective, that comes partially out of a respect for their time and partially from the fact that what I'm interested in talking about now is not in their current mindspace.

    What's more, bloggers (me included again) tend to promote ideas that are covered over and over again. Challenging people to consider something that might be on the fringes or lateral to prevailing opinions appeals to a very few; yet, that's where true innovation occurs. Watching the twit stream and following bloggers, I keep coming back to a short list of about 20 or so folks who cover something that fits my personal needs (someone who is significantly “been here, done that.”)

    Personally, I would like to read more blogs about case studies and less about ages-old, crusty advice on what people should already know like lists (how to get more twitter followers, the top 100 wordpress themes, get rich quick schemes, how to SEO, repeats of headlines that most have already seen.)

    Most avid blog followers are “so over it”; yet, the most highly read blogs and twitterers post on exactly those things!

    Hopefully, folks will take your post to heart and call a customer or two today.

    http://twitter.com/johnstack

    Best, jws

  • dbifulco

    Chris – another great post. I was laughing and nodding my head as I read this, thinking how ironic it is that so many marketers are totally missing the point. And, when have we EVER had more tools at our tingertips (literally) to encourage people to talk about us.

    Also speaks to the issue of how many people are using tools like Twitter to blast out “me, me, me” messages rather than really engaging people and listening.

    Lots to think about.

  • http://closingbigger.net Shane Gibson

    I'm not a big fan of the self-promoter either who's favorite subject is them. I also was a Dungeon Master in high school, is D&D the common thread?

    All joking aside I think that people who lack social intelligence also lack the ability to see themselves as they truly appear or show up as in public or online. This something as a trainer I have always struggled to help people with. Some people just don't get it.

  • Kate Talbot

    I believe it was David Ogilvy who said “don't tell me how good you make it, tell me how good it makes me when I use it”. A good reminder that, in the eyes of the consumer, product benefits are more important than features. Thanks for a great post!

  • http://www.otherthanthat.com/ Cathy Brooks

    A-MEN!!!!

    Enough said.

  • http://pioneer.posterous.com/ Harold

    These are some great points and some conclusions I've recently come to. As a society we've all become jaded by the obvious self serving promotions that come our way everyday. It's devoted followers of products that make the most impact. Take the moleskine notebook for example. My most viewed photo on flickr is of a moleskine notebook that I took with my cellphone. Over a thousand views. That's marketing; they didn't come to see my cheezy photo; it was the notebook. BTW the fb connect thingy didn't work for some reason…

  • http://cbiclubhouse.com Jon Bard

    Yknow, back in the day, in worked at a big PR firm with bog Fortune 500 clients. No one I ever met, on the client side or on the agency side had even an inkling of this concept. As a result, neither did I.

    When I ditched that world and become an online entrepreneur, it took me about 3 days to figure it all out. “Of course it's not about me! Of course it's purely about my customers and their wants and needs!” Good lord, what blinders I had on. What blinders the vast majority of marketers still have on.

    Thanks for this — maybe it will shake the blinders off somebody, somewhere.

    Jon
    http://cbiclubhouse.com
    the Community for Success-Minded Children's Book Writers

  • http://www.beyond.jobs/ Konstantinos Kasekas

    Chris, what you say is sooo true. But it is not only applicable to companies, it's applicable to people too! I just wrote about your posting in my blog as well, feel free to check it out.
    http://www.beyond.jobs

  • http://www.netwitsthinktank.com frank barry

    “Start telling me how I can use it to make me into a superstar. “

    I've been learning this more and more. It's not about the products we offer, it's about helping people be successful with our products (and others). Customers WANT to do great things and just giving them the tools is NOT enough – they need to know how to use the sward to with the fight.

    I find that moving beyond tools to success is a cultural thing to some extent. It takes work to build a mindset of showing/building success into people who do consulting work.

    http://twitter.com/franswaa

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  • dbriere

    Chris I have a question: What do you do if you are in the point in your company's lifecycle where you have lots of great enthusiastic clients, but THEY feel that they have something special that everyone else doesn't — connoting a strategic edge — and don't want to talk about it to extend their strategic advantage? While we have it in our contracts that customers have to do joint marketing (case studies, white papers, news release, etc.), they really stall and don't want to do it. And it's not because they don't like it … it's the opposite. When we go to talk to people such as yourself, we get the response in this article, which essentially is, “If you are so great how come I've never heard of you?” We're caught between a rock and a hard place. Eventually, we'll break loose and have enough talkers to carry the day, but there are periods of a company's development where you can hand the mic to your customer and they just don't want to talk! A lot of startups go through this stage and would benefit from your advice.

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