Single Parents Aren’t Earning Enough

In all seriousness, what we should do is not put the “victim” hat on them. Don't make them feel like they are needy, make 'em feel like survivors.

*camp for single mothers that is conversation based vs. track based is the first thing that popped into my head. Brain torrent + single moms + mentors. Free for moms, plenty of interested sponsors I'm sure and an opportunity to help the community outside of the fishbowl.

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I am not sure where your $68,000 figure comes from as the study explicitly states at the top of page 3 that the figures for a women with 2 children in MA needs approximately $44,000-$58,000. As you can see, at the high end this perceived discrepancy in your post is $10k off….and the low end a whopping $24k off! Interesting enough, these differences are coming close to the estimated wages for one of these low paying jobs which are $15,200-$29,000. If I have read incorrectly please point out where you got your number. Thank you.

Just giving money or goods isn't enough – though in some emergency cases a necessity. I'm a believer in teaching a man to fish so he can eat every day that he needs to :)

So, I'm on the side of mentoring and teaching. Locally I work closely with battered and addicted women on the road to recovery, teaching them life skills as well as business skills – one will excel in filing systems online and off and another will soon be entering college to learn computer systems – either way, working closely with them keeps me grateful for the skills I have, and gives them doors to opportunity they otherwise would have never seen.

Libraries offer access to computers and the internet, so finding and helping an existing program is the first thing we can do – the second being to offer ourselves and our skills to said program.

I know location has a lot to do with it, and not to take anything from single parents, but as point of reference, we are raising 4 kids on much less than $68,000. Its definately not easy, but we get by. One in college, three in high school, bottomless pits all.

Perhaps I am just completely naive, but I thought that the primary caregiver of a child is to receive child support payments from the other parent?

Other than that, I see Family Friendly work environments and affordable, high-quality daycare as the major, essential needs. (As also noted by Cyndee Woolley.)

As for how I can help? That's a good question. I really don't know the answer. I know very few “single” parents (i.e. one parent has all caregiving responsibilities, rather than a shared custody arrangement). So you've really given me something to think about. Thanks for this thought-provoking post, Chris.

As sole income provider in my household (with 5 kids) I hate to even think what they estimate I need to make. Yikes!

On to helping any single income earners (including all those great moms and/or dads that are also sole head of household) – when you're referring to mentoring, etc. does that include helping folks find alternate streams of income that are more passive? As anyone with a family knows, there's always the stress between spending more time working (thus having the income to get clothes, groceries, maintain vehicles, allow for after-school activities) and being able to spend time with children. Teaching folks how to create these types of income may be one of the best things that can be done.

Best,
Phillip

I have to agree Chel. With the explosion of women bloggers over the last 18 months and with so many moms (and dads) looking for ways to save and make money a sponsored boot camp is a fantastic idea.

They rarely make those payments, and usually, they're not enough. So I'm learning.

As a single mom of 2 elementary aged daughters, I find myself headed to bankruptcy court. However, in the spirit of “Lemonade” I am pursuing my passion for social networking and have teamed up with a collegue to offer consultation to entry level users in our community.

The rising cost of health care and the unexpected inability of my daughter's father to pay child support pushed me over the edge, where I had been teetering for some time.

As the old adage goes … drastic times call for drastic measures, and I'm determined to pull myself out of this hole!

What many people don't realize is that single parents are held hostage by the assistance they can receive – at least in Illinois. To use my own experience as an example, I work as a development specialist and earn less than the “industry standard” – much less. If I am offered a pay increase, I have to refuse, because it would mean that I am no longer eligible for childcare subsidy and reduced price school lunches. In order to cover that difference, my pay increase would have to be in the range of $10,000 – and nobody is going to give me a 33% pay increase!

So, to keep myself out of bankruptcy court, AND pay all my bills AND the babysitter I will now need because of the extra work load, I need to bring home an extra $435/week.

It's going to be a hard road, but I'm determined to get through it with my family – and my sanity – intact.

These are the best. Thanks for your input.

You struck a good nerve :) With determination, there is always a way out.

Glad to see so many people chime in ~ C

My mom would have LOVED it!

I'm constantly receiving emails of people asking how to make money online since they are now stay-at-home parents or just need some extra income. It's really hard because I clearly can't mentor every one of them. I usually take on one or two. I give my own advice, steer them towards articles and resources that they may find useful, and just stay positive for them. I have done private sponsorships for struggling moms who I see have potential who are dying to attend a conference to network, etc.

I am a single mother who is making it. I work full time and freelance the rest. Although my job(s) are extremely family-friendly, I do end up working between the two at least 15 hours a day. Plus making sure the kid eats and takes a bath and all that goofy stuff that kids need…

I take pride in not asking or receiving a cent from anyone. Maybe that's dumb. But man, if you could give me a guilt-free night off, I'd take it in a second.

I've been thinking a lot about mentorship and how to bring that into the mix this 5th year of Podcamp. Perhaps it's not a *camp mission and more like a year round mission. If I had the contacts with moms and dads, I'd totally through down the effort to get them started.

Anyone here that wants help ping me and I'm there 100% chel.pixie [at] gmail [dot] com.

Chris, thanks for bringing this out into the open. Most governments either ignore the problem of single parents or throw money at them.

My definition of a single parent is simply this – you are the only person responsible for raising your children. The other parent is not there to assist in any significant way for a number of reasons.

As an Australian single parent for 17 yrs I received a fortnightly income from the government on and off up until 3 yrs ago and child support payments which varied in amount continually.

During the majority of that time I worked part time, casual, full time, contracts etc etc to make ends meet and because I prefer to work to support myself. I met a lot of single parents and my thoughts for what is needed is the following.

1. Safe, affordable day care in your area, with the ability to expand and no waiting lists. If you are offered a job and have to turn it down because you can't find day care, it can cause the attitude of “why bother looking in the first place”? A part of the day care need includes safe and affordable after school care.

2. Emergency, affordable care for when your child is sick and you HAVE to go to work. (I moved back to my home town when I found out I was going to be a single mum because I had a support structure here – many single parents don't have that).

Many day care centres won't take a child when they are ill, understandable as it doesn't want more children to be ill but where does that leave the single parent.

3. Education in options. Education to learn, to be able to get a job, get a better job, what your rights are, how to maximise your skills and learn new ones and what the single parent can do to help themselves.

4. Mentoring to find out that there are successful single parents and how it can be done.

5. Workplaces that are family friendly in practice and not just in policy. Being able to take a flex or a leave day to help your children without penalty is a necessity. That policy needs to be in place for casual and temporary staff as well.

5. and finally someone who can just take your kids for a day who you can trust so that you can have some time to yourself.

As a single parent I think one of the biggest things we deal with is responsibility. You are always the parent. You can't say to a partner, “your turn, you deal with it, I'm having a time out” when things get rough. Even when you have your child at day care, at school, with a friend, even with family, you are the only one who has to deal with the outcomes.

As a single parent, mom or dad, our concern, beyond survival, is the safety and growth of our children. It's a challenge. Our ability to respond – our responsibility – to the challenge might well in large part be dependent upon the environment. However, in a free society such as ours, the choice of environment is part of the freedoms we enjoy. In any response-able parent's decisions the availability of choice [of environment] ought to be part of the equation.

This is probably the most serious subject I have read on your blog. Every commenter, with the exception of the shoe ads, has offered very good information and some practical advice. I don't know if you have ever been to this site http://www.coabode.com/. So interesting because by sharing a home, you share parenting, chores, and all the good days and bad days. Some parents really enjoy having a career and can command a wonderful wage, but they may be struggling because they need someone responsible to be with the children. On the other hand some parents really love parenting 24 hours a day and love caring for a home. The site I referred you to has a blog, they are looking for blog writers, you can sponsor some moms, they even have a “manifesto”. Their mission statement says: CoAbode was founded on the principle that two single moms raising children together can achieve more than one struggling alone. In Australia they offer this site http://www.space4.com.au/ I would love to know what you think of this.

Earning enough … very loaded. As a single parent I equate earnings in various ways. Monetary, respect, understanding, knowledge, patience to name a few that stand out. Of course as a single parent money is a factor not only to make and exceed the bills but also the things that fall outside of the basics and allot for the vacations, toys, “just because” moments. The money part is generally the internal struggles of always looking ahead to knowing what is next (and will there be enough for the activities, clothing, car, college) where the respect and understanding comes from outside sources where we are not able to drop everything to be around (funny part of life is the illegality of leaving a kid home alone). Our time is spread thin and while we have to make time for ourselves we also have to make decisions on where we do spend the “free time.” For some the free time is parking it on the couch and having a half hour or hour of interrupted time as we never get enough of that or blogging or throwing some back with friends.

Earning enough many think money but enough is multi-faceted. I may have enough money but not enough of other things or not enough money and more of the other things. I guess prob for me it is more about the parenting part where ultimately the enough comes through the eyes of Andrew. The non parenting part well .. that is who I see in the mirror each day.

@SuzanneVara