I posted this to an email list I belong to. It relates to the self-improvement part of my life.
Boy was I in a bad place.
(Pay attention to this story, because what I want you to focus on is that this all has NOTHING to do with the weight; it’s the other way around.)
When I began to change was July 7th, 2003. The day before that, I was in a real mess. I’d done some horrible things to my relationship. I was just coasting through work. Things were really piling up on top of me. I weighed 290 pounds. But the weight wasn’t the point.
The number one thing wrong with my life was self-esteem. The front line of this battle I began was related to taking hold of my life, accepting the way things were, and then having the determination to improve my life. I hated myself. I let the inner critic rule my life. And there was no point worrying about what I ate. I could’ve cared less what food I stuffed in my gullet.
Starting July 7th, I took charge. I bought and read (and STUDIED) a book called SELF ESTEEM, by Matthew McKay. The book did LOTS to turn my head around. It showed me the ways I was doing harm to myself. I dusted off my 7 HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE, by Dr. Stephen R. Covey. This reminded me of some important facts: 1.) I’m the author of the story called my life. 2.) I have to choose what to write about. 3.) I have to follow what I’ve written.
Somewhere in there, I decided to lose weight. My clothes were too tight, and I was at the very edges of 2XL and/or 46 waist. In this land of Target and WalMart, I was about to fall off into ONLY being able to shop at Big & Tall. Money, people. This costs money. I’m not a fan of nice clothes, so I didn’t want to spend big to wear crap.
(This is NOT about weight).
So, I asked a friend how she’d lost 45 pounds out of the blue, because she was a fellow skeptic. She was a big person who wore black and acted happy even when she looked sad. She said, “I’m a little embarrassed, but remember that book I was making fun of? That Jorge Cruise book?” I said yes. “Well, that. I’m following that.”
My wife and I started on August 4th. From that book, I started learning about nutrition for the first time in my adult life. I hungered for more. I read EATING WELL FOR OPTIMUM HEALTH by Dr. Andrew Weil. I started reading fitness and nutrition books all over the place. And I stuck with the program all the time.
We did our 8 minutes religiously. Okay, we missed on rare occasion, but that was rare. And then we did more. Brisk walks daily. Outdoorsy things. Hiking in the woods.
But it was about EVERYTHING. It was about building up my self-esteem. It was about taking on small things and achieving small victories. It was about establishing better habits.
I had to focus on going TOWARD something good, instead of trying to get away from something bad. There’s no rally cry in saying, “I don’t want to do X any more.” It is NOT motivational to phrase your life in terms of what you did wrong to get there.
Flash forward a year. I weigh 238 (have been as low as 230, but I’ve been eating more on purpose). I run trail races. My last one was 23 kilometers (14.1 miles) on a mountain. Yep. Up big steep hills, down big steep hills. Running. In November, I’ll run 26.2 miles (a marathon) in the woods. Yep, a former non-runner. The guy who SWORE the only time he’d ever run was if Godzilla were chasing him.
I eat fairly strictly to plan, but MY plan, and my plan includes treats, and tasty things, and eating the yummiest stuff healthy food permits. Chocolate milk is in my plan. So are chocolate graham crackers. Follow?
Determination. A commitment to maintenance. Doing not thinking you should get around to it. Holding yourself accountable for EVERYTHING. That’s probably the biggest one. It is ALWAYS your responsibility. The word “fault” doesn’t matter any more. You have it? You own it.
I never thought this way when I was pushing 300 pounds. Related? Yeah. Definitely. It’s NOT about the weight.
I want to hear more people’s success stories.
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