There’s a theory called Dunbar’s Number that suggests there’s an upper limit to the amount of relationships we can maintain. If you’re interested in networking, this should be an issue. That number, for the record, is 150. Derek Halpern asked me how I dealt with that issue, as I spend my time with far more than 150. Here are some thoughts.

Be One of the 150

First, an idea from my book with Julien Smith. If people are thinking that Dunbar’s number is all they can manage, then it might become important for you to ensure that you’re part of people’s 150. Meaning, if you’re looking to connect with people, connect with those who are cultivating powerful networks of their own.

You could do this geographically, if that makes sense. If I’m coming to Chicago, I’m counting on Liz Strauss and Amber Naslund (for example) to have the pulse on the ground. If I’m heading to Austin, I’m reaching out to Richard Binhammer or Jason Stoddard or another friend.

Or you might do it by vertical. If I’m thinking about the intersection of the medical world and emerging technology, I’m thinking of Steven Wardell or Andre Blackman or Daniel Palestrant. You get the idea.

Finding the right groups of 150 to connect with is helpful. That way, your 150 is augmented by those other people’s 150s. Make sense?

Be at the Elbow of Every Deal

One way to beat Dunbar’s number is to make it work in reverse. By that, I mean this: if people think of you as part of their 150, then they come to you, and they seek you out. This comes from having some value to offer. If, for instance, you’re helpful in finding others business, those people will seek you out the next time they have an opportunity, or the next time they need your help.

In either case, you’re in the network. You’re a node in their mental systems. Because they’ve got you in mind, it’s easier to let go a bit of your number/memory.

Speaking of memory, why would you ever require your memory to stay inside your head?

Database, Database, Database

You are not required to remember every single person you’ve ever met in your head. Further, you really can’t. The thing is, how will you manage your relationships in a way that you can stay open and personable. One way, I feel, is a database. And when I say that word, don’t faint. Contact management systems count. Your email client counts, depending on how you use it. Here’s what I’m doing.

I’m using BatchBook for my database, because it’s just really simple, and yet powerful. I do this: I take a contact from a business card. In this example, I’ll use DJ Edgerton, CEO of zemoga, a digital creative shop I met with in New York (and thanks to Sven Larsen for setting up a tour to see D.C. Comics!).

I’d put DJ’s typical contact info into my Batchbook contact. Great. Now, I know how to email or call him. Where it gets cool is that I can add tags. Those tags act like ways to slice the database. This means, I can add the following information to DJ’s contact:

• newyork – for when I mail to specific regions
• agency – so I can ping him when I have work for him, or when marketing my conference
• comics – DJ and I have an appreciation of comics in common
• colombia – DJ’s company has a big office in Bogota

So, now, if I want, I can remember DJ not just by his name and when I’m thinking about him, but also when I have a location-specific or work-specific thought in mind.

I have other categories for some folks:

• checkin – make sure to message this person once a month to check in
• advisor – I consider this friend someone I’ll ping for guidance (added one after last night)
• connector – people who are at the core of lots of deals
• thinker – if I need a thought leader, I go here
• speaker – for my conferences
• events – someone who runs conferences of their own

Rest assured that there are several more tags coming as I think of other ways to slice up my database.

Jeff Pulver told me in 2006 that you live or die by your database. I’ve worked from this mantra ever since, and I try hard to thread my various social needles together so that people know how to find me and connect. It’s important. Another part of this is by keeping the channels open.

Keep a Pulse In Between Contacts

One of the obvious (but not always considered) values of social media like blogging or using social networks is that it keeps a live pulse of information moving along. If you’re my friend in Facebook or LinkedIn or on Twitter, you might see my status information change, and be aware of me. This keeps you up to date on me, and it gives you a gentle reminder to think of me again. It works both ways, as I’m watching you, too.

This blog works that way, in a slightly different way. In the business context, my blog tells you what I’m thinking about, what I’m working on, and how I might be useful to you. Again, this gives you some of the burden of maintaining Dunbar’s Number, which frees me up to accept more of a network.

The pulse is an important part of maintaining your back and forth, and in helping people feel a bit more connected when you can’t talk one on one from time to time.

Is it Sustainable?

I know many people with larger personal networks. They all seem to be living, doing business, and staying married, so I think you can, too. Like everything in life, it’s a commitment. Can everyone run five miles a day (or 15)? No. But if you want to be a distance runner, you work at it.

Me personally? I’m in this for the people. I’m here to connect and build relationships of value. Thus, I’m planning to beat Dunbar at his game.

**Quick Addendum: This is not a quantity-vs-quality discussion. I have a very small number of quality relationships, and by that, I mean people that I share far more, and with whom I have a deeper emotional connection. I know how to make close friends. This isn’t about that.**

What are your suggestions? How are you scaling your networking experiences?

Photo credit Neona

I should state that I know Michelle Riggen-Ransom (marketing goddess) and Adam Darowski (UX prince) through meetings at various social events, like SXSW, the occasional Tweet-up, etc. When you know the people who make the things you’re using, there’s a whole sense that everything could be customized or something. When I talk to Mario Sundar at LinkedIn, I feel the same kind of thing: like they care about their user base. Well, with BatchBlue, they are passionate about their customer base.

Things I Like

In the fun category, I like the little touches they’ve thrown in. I went to upload my latest LinkedIn database into BatchBook and combine it with my Gmail accounts. That ends up being around 6,200 contacts (boiled back down with dupes to 4760). When I uploaded the CSV file, here’s what I got:

Yep, the little touches like that are great.

Because I can tag things lots of ways, it means I can sort them lots of ways:

I further like that I can upload pictures for contacts, should I want a visual reminder of who they are:

But what’s coolest is the list feature.

Messaging Distinct Sets of People

Here’s where BatchBlue does something that most of my contact systems do not. Plaxo shares a lot of features with BatchBook, and it has one over on BatchBook insofar as user data on there updates when the other contacts change their information. Meaning, if you’re connected to someone on Plaxo, and that someone changes jobs, phone numbers, email addresses, your files are updated right away. Okay, cool.

Try messaging more than one person on Plaxo. Ditto LinkedIn. Ditto Facebook.

Grueling.

BatchBook has lists. For every one of the tags you assign a contact, you can sort those tags into lists, then download those lists into distinct addressable groups. So, for instance, if I want to email all the people I know who are related to PodCamp, I can. If I want to message everyone in the Boston area, I can. If I want to message people I’ve labeled as “mediamakers,” I can.

That’s the clever bit.

A Quick Note About SuperTags

They also have this feature called Super Tags. Basically, you can add all kinds of other fields and metadata around certain tags, such that you collect even more useful, sortable data on different kinds of contacts. I haven’t dug into that yet, but judging by the way Michelle and Adam talk about it all the time, I suspect that’s a cool feature and that I’m missing out.

In the End

I recommend BatchBook for the list sorting ability, for the tagging and slicing ability, for the Super Tags (though I’m not 100% clever on them yet), and if you have no other form of client relationship management software, this would be a great lightweight tool. I’m not using their todos or several other parts of the software, but that’s okay. I think it’s worth it for what I’m getting. Hey, I’m not a DBA, and this is a whole lot better for me to manage than a spreadsheet.

If you check it out, I’d be interested to know your take.

BatchBlue Software‘s BatchBook might be just right for you.

Networks Loose and Taut

Imagine you’re looking for a job. Where do you start? What do you need to know? I’ll give you a hint: the first letter is “p” and the last few letters are “eople.” I have spent time and effort building a robust social network across LinkedIn, Twitter, Facebook, this blog, and beyond, because it’s my goal to be helpful in as many ways possible. It’s how you were able to help me send a woman to college in under 2 hours. It’s how I help friends find work, get projects, or just connect with like-minded souls.

That doesn’t happen on the fly. Jeremiah covers this very well. Networks are the lifeblood of this new human computer we’re building. You want the network connections to be there ahead of when you need them. And here’s where we get a little more human still.

Be Human About It

Connect with people from the mindset of wanting to be helpful to THEM. Learn what you can do to be useful FAR before you ask them for anything. And do this because you care, not because it’s a strategy, not for some long flung business project. Do it because being a good human matters to you. If you do this, and I mean it, no faking, it will become a very powerful thing. People remember your efforts to be helpful. They remember all the ways in which you do good things for them. And it never has to matter a lick, except sometimes it does.

How this SHOULD Work

In the future, this will be a lot more dynamic. When I show up at a social network, it will ping my profile server, will ask me which personae of mine to expose, and then see which connections I have from other networks that have similar credentials, and offer connections without me thinking much about it. I’ll be able to write metadata above every one of these contacts, very visual stuff, that will allow me on the fly to draw little lines between one person and another few people, showing VISUALLY the networks of people that I’ve met, and how they might relate.

With this information, I’ll be able to pluck threads quickly, and know that someone who has a PHP need is connected through me to someone who’s a PHP expert. I’ll be able to see my network by proximity, by home base, by corporation, without much fuss. I will be able to apply endless filters so that I can squint into the tapestry and find the exact right two people to work with me on a project.

But until then, while it doesn’t work that way, I’m building my own variations on the theme and threading the needle by hand.

If you’d like to connect with me on various social networks, here’s a short list:

• LinkedIn – my email linkedin at chrisbrogan dot com.
• Twitter
• Flickr (photo sharing)
• My newsletter (different than the blog)

Pretty much every where else, I’m also “chrisbrogan.” Feel free to connect.

What do you think? Where should this all reside? What’s the best place to put all this kind of information, and how else might we want to use it in flexible ways?

Photo credit, Twenty Questions