Maybe, as this is fleshed out, you’ll have some ideas to add or subtract to the guide, and we can update it accordingly. Fair?

A (less) Brief and Informal Twitter Etiquette Guide

• A complete bio and avatar pic (I like people’s faces, but do what you will) is always a good idea. We want to know who you are. (inspired by Kendra).
• It’s helpful to be transparent about your work/employer in your profile, if your use of Twitter has any implications for your day job. (from Eden Spodek)
• Face to face you get a sense of how your idea is being received. No such thing on Twitter. So play nice. (from Carolyn Stephens)
• Be yourself. It is ok and welcome to be different on twitter. (from Sudha Jamthe)

• It’s okay to follow people you don’t know on Twitter. They can choose whether or not to follow you back.
• It’s okay to unfollow people on Twitter. Unfollowing doesn’t automatically mean “I don’t like you.” There are many other reasons.
• It’s okay to @reply someone a question or comment vs direct message, especially if it’s an idea where others might weigh in or add a perspective.
• It’s better to direct message someone if you’re making 1:1 plans or having a very focused, personal conversation.
• It’s not polite to direct message people you don’t know well with your automated quiz results or similar. It’s great that YOU like those quizzed, but others see it as spam.
• Most folks don’t like seeing those “I just used whateveryoucallit.com to gain 300 new followers right now!” services. – (from Steve Woodruff).
• Some people are not a fan of auto reply messages that are sent in direct messages when someone follows you on Twitter. They (and by “they,” I also mean “I”) consider these robot behavior.
• Promoting others and talking with others is a great way to show your participation to the community.
• Only blurting out your information and links doesn’t usually come off as friendly or community-minded.
• Tim O’Reilly suggests that @replies have lots of detail in them, so that others picking up the conversation can understand the response (example: turn “yes” into “Yes, I really love the new G.I. Joe movie.”)

• You don’t have to read every tweet.
• You don’t have to respond to every @mention.
• You aren’t obligated to reply to every direct message.
• If someone direct messages you and you find that you cant message them back because he or she isn’t following you, a simple @reply stating, “I went to send you a direct message back but you’re not currently following me” is good manners. – (inspired by Kendra). *NOTE: Twitter sometimes loses follower relationships during clean ups. It doesn’t always mean that someone actively unfollowed you.
• However, the more you can respond, the more people tend to stay with you and build relationships.
• When retweeting other people’s works, it’s okay to truncate a bit to be able to retweet. Please preserve the link and also the original person’s Twitter name. (ex: RT @mackcollier “Twitter lives and dies on retweeting.”)
• When retweeting someone else’s retweet, it’s sometimes okay to drop the secondary source and just retweet the original poster of the information. (example showing a change to a retweet): “RT @chrisbrogan RT @mackcollier Twitter lives and dies on retweeting” turns into “RT @mackcollier Twitter lives and dies on retweeting.” (make sense? agree?)
• Want to avoid the above problem? Make your retweets more retweetable.
• It’s Ok to have multiple twitter identities (from Jack Bresler)
• It’s OK to disregard robots. (from Jack Bresler)
• If you’re running a customer service Twitter account, it’s polite to follow back the people following you. (from Ted Coine).
• Unless you have the author’s consent, it also may be unwise to pull from another feed stream, like mybloglog, and place the information into the twitter stream (from WWAHHMpreneur)
• Swearing/cursing might well be bad etiquette, and feels like swearing loudly in a public place. (from BizyBiz) . *Note: I sometimes swear. Sorry. :(
• Pitching your blog might not be the next best move directly after a follow. (inspired by cherylandonian)
• Don’t get hung up on the numbers, that’s not what matters. Its a case of who you know not how many you know. (from Justin Parks)
• People might unfollow you if you tweet excessively (falls into Chris’s “You’re Doing it Wrong” category). – (from Chloe Wilkinson)
• It’s OK (heck, it’s recommended) to actively BLOCK followers you don’t want following you. – (from Bonnie Lowe)
• Check your links before you tweet them! (from Sure)

• If you can, cite the source of the link you’re posting. – (from Carlos R Hernandez)
• and what else?

What else would you want to tell people who are new to Twitter? Do you agree or disagree with my ideas? What else will we do to help new people get acquainted?

Your thoughts are important.

]]> http://www.chrisbrogan.com/a-brief-and-informal-twitter-etiquette-guide/feed/ 322 http://www.chrisbrogan.com/how-not-to-be-a-jerk-in-facebook/ http://www.chrisbrogan.com/how-not-to-be-a-jerk-in-facebook/#comments Mon, 27 Oct 2008 09:30:28 +0000 ceb http://www.chrisbrogan.com/?p=2888 Ahhh, Facebook. I’m not a giant fan. But, it is one place to reach out and connect with people, and I do maintain a Facebook profile there, so when I dip in to check things out, it reminds me that not everyone uses it the same way. With that in mind, I had a few ideas I wanted to share.

But as I went in to gather up some screenshots, I found a mix of the good and the bad of using Facebook, so it changes how I intended to write about it. Just the same, I have some thoughts on Facebook, starting with your mug shot. Most of this is opinion, but it’s tempered by my experiences and interactions with professionals and casual connectors, so use it as you see fit.

Put up a HUMAN Picture

Don’t put up your company logo, and don’t put up one of those scary yearbooky-looking business photos that some folks seem to use. Where do you GET those? Please don’t look like you could go in this set:

Join a Few Groups- Not Just Your Company’s Group

As people are starting to understand how Facebook makes an interesting place to run an official group, they are building campaigns around acquiring group members. If you’re looking to get people to join your groups, try to be polite and join a few other people’s groups, too. Most of the ones in the picture above, I’m in as a sign of support to a friend. I’m not very active on them. What do you think? Should I leave groups where I’m inactive?

When Friending, Add a Line or Two

I like this, because it’s a personable approach and he namedrops Baratunde Thurston.

Stop Spamming Me

Friending me so you can invite me to your stupid teleseminars isn’t cool. It’s not good marketing. It’s not good business. The rules of permission marketing that exist in the regular email world apply doubly or triply to here.

Email Etiquette

If we don’t know each other well, don’t make your first message after friending me about your dumb product, service, or company. Try to be a human first. Try to share yourself in a way that I get to know you. Chances are, I might actually want to know about your whatever. But I don’t bombard you once you meet me. Why are you doing it to me?

Bonus: Power Move

Here’s a secret. My favorite Facebook feature is the Birthdays box:

But here’s what I do. Some of those people I don’t know as closely, so I don’t wish them happy Birthday. I just let it go by. But for people I know, if I get a moment to check Facebook and see that it’s his or her birthday, I drop them a regular email wishing them the Happy Birthday. Why? Because it is that extra step that shows it’s not a robotic response within a closed platform.

Sometimes, if I’m feeling extra nice (or have 5 minutes), I surf someecards.com, the funniest ecard site on the web (no relationship here, just a fact, jack!)

So what have I missed? What are your ideas? How would you advise folks not to be a jerk in Facebook? What’s your take on Poking? How do you decide what’s appropriate on that network?

This is every bit as much business as it is nicety. You can be kind because it’s the right thing to do, but if you’re a business person of any flavor, think about all that I’m going to share with you. Because it matters. And those people who are getting by WITHOUT being human in person aren’t going to last all that long in the longer run.

Here are some ways to think about it.

Lead by Being Inclusive

If you see me at a conference, I’ll be the guy with my hand out, shaking with someone and trying to lead them into my little circle of friends, to see if there’s someone you’ll find something in common with amongst the group I’ve gathered together. Why? Because not only do I want to welcome everyone in, but because by adding your brains and fresh eyes to the circle I’ve gathered, it means that there might be even deeper connections that YOU can take and do something with later. I never meet someone that I don’t almost immediately think about someone else they should get to know.

Yes, it’s because I’m a natural connector (Julien and I call this “Connector X” in our six main traits of Trust Agents writing), but it’s also because it’s a great way to get everyone talking at an event. Further, it’s social proof that you’re someone who cares about others. It means that somewhere in your head, you think, “Hey, Chris welcomed me in and I immediately felt like I could approach him.”

THAT’s what you’re looking for, right? You want people to feel that they can approach you in case there’s an opportunity for either side. It means that you care enough about people to invite them into the game. Should you ALWAYS do this? No, there are some exceptions where something is private, but at a conference? Find ways to be inclusive. You can steal private time later.

Make YOUR Introduction Brief, Then Ask Questions

Here’s where you can pick up ground really fast, and where we tend to fall down easiest. Say who you are, and give a firm handshake (or a hug), and make eye contact. Yes, this is SO hard if you’re shy, but if you practice, it gets easier (or it doesn’t – dispute me in the comments, and/or offer your strategies). And then, just say who you are and what you do (or what you’re passionate about, or what you seek the most at the event). Follow this almost immediately with a question that gives the spotlight to the other person (or AN other person in the circle). “How are you finding the conferece?” or “What do you do with the other hours in your day?”

Your questions are where it gets a bit tricky. If you can, come up with a few that are different than “what do you do?” Having a unique question often leads to a unique conversation. Imagine the responses to these:

• Did you ever win an award for something?
• Where’s a fun place you’ve visited before?
• How do you hope attending this event (or this meeting, or whatever) change your life?
• What’s your irrational fear? Mine is of sharks. (It helps to give them yours first before they have to answer.)
• If I gave you two million dollars, how would you spend your hours a few months from now?

In all cases, the answers might tell you something about the person. They certainly say a lot about you who’ve offered them up. And, most importantly, they give the other person a chance to talk about themselves.

What naturally happens next is that they want to know more about you. If they don’t, you’ve just learned the other person’s level of self-absorption, at least at that given moment. I sometimes get a bit overwhelmed with meeting lots of new people in a row, and sometimes at those times, I don’t do so well with this one. (We can only try.)

To Avoid: Patting Your Own Back

Even in third party form, “Wired Magazine says I might well be the next William Gibson,” it still sounds like you’re a toolbag calling yourself awesome. Don’t do it. Can I be simpler?

It’s a fine line between making sure someone knows what you’re capable of doing versus hearing your impressive credentials. How do you tell them that your blog is in the top 15 of the Cthulu Society of Charles Dexter Ward without sounding like a braggart? The best way is with a third party present. If you can’t find a way to do that, try your hardest to keep your credentials brief and simple.

Say something more like, “I’m really passionate about H.P. Lovecraft and that’s where I’ve made most of my friends online. People in that community can vouch for me.” It’s like the 3rd party credential above, but doesn’t deliver the payload of bragging.

How Third Parties Help

Another way to make this go a lot smoother is to have a social “wingman” present. Not exactly in that slimy way that guys use to try to pick up girls in bars, but similar in how it gets done. If you meet someone in a social setting with a friend there, that friend can often pay the kinds of compliments or offer the kind of advice that you can’t say about yourself directly. I LOVE talking about other people at social events to a new person.

“This is Jason Falls. Not only is he the social media side brand guy behind Jim Beam, Maker’s Mark and all these other cool brands, but he’s really breaking the mold in how to build relationships using online tools.” That lets the other person know that Jason rocks, that I endorse him, and that there are a few hooks for next steps in the conversation.

You can do this in situations where you don’t much know the newcomer in a different way.

“This is Michael, and we’ve really only just met. What I like most about him so far is that he’s quick to laugh, knows a lot about music, and seems genuinely curious about our space and how to make the best connections.” Notice that I haven’t exactly endorsed him, but I also haven’t damned him. It should give the subtle hint that I’m not really decided on him, but he doesn’t seem like an axe murderer.

A Point of Etiquette

There’s actually a proper way to introduce people in more formal settings. You’re welcome to correct me if I get this wrong, because it’s one of those “stalactite/stalagmite” things in my head.

When you introduce two people, it’s customary to introduce the lesser-known or junior person to the senior person. If I introduce my wife to the President of the United States of America, I’d say, “Honey, I want you to meet Mr. Barack Obama.” (Or that other guy with Sarah Palin.)

As a twist to this, in social settings where we’re all peers, I tend to like to introduce the newer person to the person I’ve known the longest. So, if I introduce someone to Liz Strauss, I’d say, “Dave, you’ve gotta meet my good friend, Liz Strauss. She’s a great community builder, and someone who cares about helping bloggers build businesses. When I have questions about community, Liz is who I ask.”

How This All Adds Up

if you think making connections at events isn’t a part of your business, I’m a bit worried for you. Here’s a secret I only share during speeches (but I think we can keep it between us, right?): businesses are made up of people. There, I said it.

The impression people get of you has to do with many factors, but of those, the ones you can handle the most are the ones you might consider working on for upcoming events and social opportunities. All the work you do online doesn’t add up to much if you can’t leave a good and lasting first impression in person.

So what do you think? Did I miss anything? Would you have other ideas to offer? How do you work at the avoiding the “me game?”

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