Click here if you can’t see the video.

In short, the answer is that you have to have a kitchen, a lemonade stand, and a campfire.

(That, friends, will be work for several months of your time with me.)

If you can’t see the video, click HERE to watch it.

Can’t see it? Click HERE.

What do you think?

Click here if you can’t see it.

And stay strong.

I can’t sleep because I’m working on next moves, next steps, the next appropriate arc for me to take, for me to share with you, for us to work on together. I can’t sleep because if I stop, the next big thing will wash over me and I won’t be on top of the wave; I’ll be at the bottom.

This is all such utter bull. You can sleep. I can sleep.

What I can’t do, however, is stop dreaming.

Some Thoughts About Your Speaking to Consider

• “The consumer is not a moron, she is your wife.” – David Ogilvy. Replace consumer with “audience,” and you’ll see sin #1. I see many speakers treat the audience like they’re stupid. I presume my audience is smarter than me, and they’re just looking to me for brush-ups. Mitch Joel is great at making me feel like he’s just helping me.
• There goes my hero. If your stories are about how amazing you are, they get old fast. If you want to feel like the hero, tell stories about the success of your clients or others. Rich Ullman from Ripple6 did a great job of talking about empowering others at the Inbound Marketing Summit.
• Starving? Try humble pie. Wow, it’s rough when you brag. We can’t keep this fake smile on for as long as you can talk about you. Want to see humble in action? Spend time with Mack Collier. He’s almost too humble, he’s so awesome.
• Get us on your side. Sometimes, speaking is about building the relationship before you deliver the goods. I like people who can connect with me and who make me feel like I’m with them. I like Ann Handley from MarketingProfs.
• Leave the namedropping home. There’s a fine line between calling out great people doing fine work and dropping names. Often times, I can only say that it’s all in how you relate the name. Hell, *I* do this wrong sometimes (often?). Connecting great minds to your presentation is a wonderful thing. Liz Strauss is a powerhouse of positive connectivity.
• It’s easy to sleep at events. Keep us up. It’s (almost) a requirement that you be vibrant. Speak clearly, succinctly, and be conscious of our energy levels. I’ve had the pleasure of listening to Amber Naslund quite often, and she brings it. You can’t get more energy and participatory spirit.
• Payload never hurts. There are some great speakers who never say anything useful. (I do this sometimes. I get you excited, but don’t give you anything to do.) Best person for delivering actionable next steps? Christopher S. Penn. When he and I go places together, people leave thinking I’m nice, and that Penn’s brilliant.

I’m not nearly perfect. I try to learn all the time. I recently (well, a few months ago) took some advice from some well-meaning friends who told me that even though it’s interesting to watch me freeform my presentations, my audience wasn’t really along for the ride. I went back to slides, and everything got better again. Others have taught me what they like and don’t like about how I carry myself. (Believe me, I’m at no shortage of critics).

My intentions with this piece are to have you think about yourself and how what you’re saying might impact how people are perceiving you. Putting up unintentional roadblocks to your own success might not be useful. Here’s hoping that we all improve as we go.

What about you? What else are you working on with how you conduct yourself, how you speak, how you create?

Photo credit bobby-james

It strikes me that people in business are afraid to fall. “We’ve been doing it this way all along, and even though the results are diminishing, we’re just going to keep doing this.” You’ve heard this, right?

I have fallen quite often in life. I intend to do so many times over. Falling is the only way to learn how to fly. Want to walk before you fly? “Walking is a series of controlled falls.” – Stephen Wright, comedian.

The recurring answer to “how do you do it?” is actually quite drab. “I just start somewhere.” This answer is the sparrow of answers, the tofu, the ground beef.

But in there, snuck into the recipe, is the falling. For every success, several failures, or at least stumbles. For every launch, a faceplant.

This is how it’s done. You stand up. You take a breath. You step forward. What happens next is binary: either you fall or you do not. When you fall, you feel those sensations related to it (mostly bad things and negative things), and then you move forward.

What does any of this have to do with business communications? Everything. There are no blueprints. We are all making them up. We will fall. But then, we will fly.

And flying, friends, is a beautiful thing. No?

Understanding Which Is Which

First, accept and understand that we follow and break human laws all the time. There are several hundred laws written by many hands, for matters of state as well as those of religious leadership. Do you believe that these laws are all there to protect you? Do you believe that they are in your best interest? The answer is often “yes,” or “most of the time.” That’s how we have a functioning society, and in case you’re wondering if I’m pointing you towards anarchy, I’ll save you some reading. No.

We also have rules and norms, which are less formal than laws, but that also guide our actions. For instance, we don’t yell at other people in a grocery store or an office on balance, because it’s not especially appropriate behavior. But there’s no real “law” against it. And sure, some people yell, but it’s the norm that people do not. Follow?

Habits are a little more tricky. Habits come from repeated practice, and some sense of reward (negative or positive) for the actions we take. Self-esteem (the low kind) is partially a system of habits designed to attempt to protect yourself against negative feelings. It’s a faulty system, but it’s the one lots of people install through establishing a series of habits, because it helps us manage our hurt.

The Only Laws That Can’t Be Broken Are Natural

Most of us, and I’ll presume about 99% of the folks who will read this post, live within a very specific paradigm that goes something like this: try to be polite, nice, healthy, do good work, loving, and earn your rewards. Right? That last part is a lot of where the trick comes in, by the way, so watch for it.

I was once told that police don’t exist to protect people: they exist to protect property and the general order of things. (Pause while I say that I greatly admire our law enforcement professionals, and am grateful for their services.) Most of what we do on an airplane is often called “security theater,” because truly, the act of us removing our shoes will not likely save us from anything. The reason we turn our cell phones off is a lot less likely to be because of a potential signal interference, and much more likely because it’s really annoying to have that many loud conversations in an enclosed space.

There are oh so many times in your life where, if you observe it, you’ll note that “the rules” and the laws and the norms and your habits are skewed towards keeping things in a fairly decent order, without a whole deal of racket, and usually without a lot of potential emotional damage.

Once You Realize You Can Impact a System

When was the last time you broke a law? You don’t have to answer, but I bet the answer is much more likely “yesterday” than it is not. What about the rules? Have you broken those lately? Did you text while driving, or fail to wear your seatbelt for a mile or two? When did you skip out on a norm, like not sending thank-you notes? What happened? What REALLY happened?

I’m not recommending that you go out and become lawless anarchists. I said that earlier. And yet, I am suggesting that you look around yourself at the systems by which you’re allowing your life to be governed. Choose how you will obey the laws you obey. Decide how you will interpret the rules and norms of the society where you live and function. And most of all, explore and evaluate all your existing habits, good and bad, and determine whether they are serving you.

And if you do start making changes to how you’re living, if you do re-evaluate WHY you’re doing the things you do, I wonder where it will take you?

Thoughts ?

–

Photo credit, Jerine

Get Up and Take Your Turn

Bob and his wife play music at house parties (I forget what they called them, but the name would make more sense than “house party”), and he had quite a repertoire to choose from. Having had lots of shots at the microphone over the last several months, Bob felt confident to get up and do his thing.

As a media maker, getting up and taking your turn (to blog, podcast, etc) is easier if you find lots of opportunities to try yourself out along the way to the main gig.

Complete the Motion

At a few points, Bob didn’t remember the words to certain songs. We were an encouraging audience, and what got me was that Bob didn’t blush and crumble under the pressure. He paused, said a few words, and then went on to the next song.

As bloggers, if you mess up or forget something, just keep going. There’s always another post and another chance to do a decent job.

Be Charming, Not Depressing

When Bob had his forgetful moments, he didn’t collapse in upon himself. He knew that he could just move on to the next bit. This doesn’t come easy to everyone. Lots of people get hung up on self-analysis and can’t quite make the next move because they’re stuck analyzing where things crumbled.

Make your mistakes, accept them, and be outwardly charming about matters while you pick up the pieces.

A Friendly Audience Helps

Bob played for us on a boat of peers and friends. We were out on the water, having food and beers, and the mood was very light and cordial. When he forgot a line, it didn’t matter to us, because everything he’d done until that point was great, and after the first time he missed a line, we were on board with laughter and applause and encouragement. He knew we were his friends and wouldn’t laugh AT him.

Build a community that cares about you, and you can experiment and try new things without fear of ridicule.

Finish Strong

Despite a few forgotten lines, Bob finished with a really great song about a motorboat, that was funny, engaging, and had lots of clever use of words. The music that accompanied it was great, too, and we all got into the song quickly and deeply. Bob had us right where he wanted us by the end of his very small set of songs, and he made an impression on me and lots of others on the boat.

When you’ve taken your shot, make sure you finish strong in your work.

Lessons Learned

At the end of it all, Bob’s performance was a great metaphor for how we all struggle with understanding social media tools, business communication, collaboration, marketing, and all the other things we’re facing in our day. I learned from Bob’s charm, poise, and commitment, as well as his ability to stay confident and positive throughout the experience.

Do you follow Bob’s advice, such as I’ve written it out here? Would you be just as confident and charming as Bob in those situations? How do you conduct yourself in moments where you’re trying a few things out, and everything might not be 100% perfect?

And by the way, Bob writes an interesting blog about the world of Canadian PR that’s worth checking out, as well.