This entire story is true. It was first live-tweeted on Thursday, July 9th, and took place at the Apple Store at the Maine Mall in Portland. Here the story is, in its entirety, in little bite sized chunks.

Guy Grilling the iPhone Guy

Guy across from me is GRILLING the iPhone guy, and the questions suggest he’s recently arrived at this planet. “I can CALL people?”

Guy grilling the iPhone guy – “Wait. Can you find my HOUSE on this?” Not kidding. “Go down the street a little. That’s Bill’s house!”

Guy grilling the iPhone guy – “Now, if this thing could take PICTURES and upload them, now that would change EVERYTHING.”

Guy grilling the iPhone guy – “I wonder how often they CHANGE those photos?” (google maps streetview).

Guy grilling the iPhone guy – “Now, is sending email COSTLY?” (I’m half laughing, half ready to Taze him.

Guy grilling the iPhone guy – “Would you DEMO sending an email? I want to see if I get it.” (I’m SURE he won’t buy this.)

Guy Grilling the iPhone Guy – “So, you just TOUCH it to type? That’s CURIOUS!” – I want to take him to Hot Topic next. “Piercings?”

Guy Grilling the iPhone Guy – “So, what is the BIGGEST question people ask you about the iPhone?” iPhone Guy: “yours?”

iPhone guy to Griller – “My Dad, who’s probably older than YOU, really loves it. They LOVE it. THey won’t stop touching it.”

Guy Grilling the iPhone guy – “So, on a regular phone, I can’t get all this information. I feel like I’ll save money with this.” Um…

Guy Grilling the iPhone Guy – “Let’s just say I want to call my friend Chris. Do I have to set up a contact, or can I just say, Call Chris?”

(I’m a little weirded out that he said Chris, but it turns out the iPhone Guy’s name tag says Chris.)

Guy Grilling the iPhone is now TALKING to the iPhone like Scotty in Star Trek 4. “Hello Computer!”

Guy Grilling the iPhone Guy – “Hey, what about covers for these? Can I buy covers?” (Standing in front of WALL o’ “covers.”

God’s Truth, I am NOT making this up.

Guy Grilling the iPhone – “So what’s the warrantee cover? For example, can I just blow this thing up and get a new one?” (pyroguy?)

Guy Grilling the iPhone Guy – “How long do you think this thing will live?” iPHone Guy- “I left mine on the roof of my car, and its okay.”

Guy Grilling the iPhone Guy – “Do you have a repair shop out back?” followed quickly with, “And if I just want to make a call?” (???)

Guy Grilling the iPhone Guy – “How MANY people can I call at once? 10?” (He’s evidently also very convivial.)

Guy Grilling the iPhone Guy – “Text messages. Huh. Now what’s this? Is this… is this an email?” iPhone guy looks SO earnest.

Guy Grilling the iPhone guy is now back in Google Maps trying to find other friends he knows. iPhone guy is pretending this is useful.

Guy Grilling the iPhone guy – “Look! There’s that castle!” So he’s googlemapping Scotland?

LAST Guy Grilling the iPhone Guy update – wait for it – … he did NOT buy the iPhone. iPhone Guy didn’t bat an eye.

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Yep, that’s the whole story, start to end. It was about one hour tops in length. I tweeted the whole thing live from a Macbook Pro on display in the Apple store. I almost got caught twice because my shoulders were jerking from laughing a bit too obviously.

Ah, life. There is absolutely no caloric value in this story, but it was fun to do.