February 26, 2010 277 Comments

The Assault On Anywhen

hear no evil **UPDATE: This isn’t CLIENT communications. This is friends and colleagues.** I’m frustrated. I just spent about 20 hours without connection to the web. No email. No Twitter. No blog comments. No nothing. The technical reason was that my flight was seriously delayed, then held in the air, and then when I got to the UK (where I write this), I learned that neither of my phones is GSM-enabled, so I’m without communications technology.

But none of that is why I’m frustrated.

I have SEVERAL emails from people complaining that they didn’t hear back from me. In most of them, it was within 24 hours of the original mail. In other times, I hadn’t been in touch and it was okay that they nudge me. But the ones from within 24 hours. Seriously?

This Has to Stop

None of us are performing surgery (unless you are). You’re not calling me for the antidote to a poison. We MUST police ourselves about our sense of urgency. What happens, and I can be guilty, is that when WE need something, we push for it, not really taking into consideration the other side of the equation. So instead of just ticking something off our list, we come off as insistent and insensitive to other people’s situations.

How I Am Going to React

I’m saying no. I’m going to say no to a BOATLOAD of things I’ve originally said yes to, simply because I’m very frustrated. I can appreciate your need to get things done. I can appreciate your wanting to include me. But I can’t be held to a 24 hour clock.

We’re Ruining Anywhen

Anywhen: the problem the Internet solved. I’m blogging this at 4:38AM eastern time. It’s 9:38AM UK time. You can read this anyWHEN. See the beauty of it?

(AnyWHERE is what telephones solve. Get it?)

But when we have everyone held to urgency and time locks, we’ve ruined Anywhen. And I am a citizen of that world. I am an Internet person who is being pushed to constrained time, and I think I’m done.

(Mind you, I’m severely jet-lagged, had a really really bad day of travel, and haven’t had access to the net for a while, so I’m also a bit over-reactive.)

But please, can we please lose our addiction to urgency? Because I’m in a serious mood to defend AnyWHEN vigorously.

Photo credit Cl@re Bear

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  • Pingback: What I’ve Learned So Far » Blog Archive » 19 inboxes.

  • remarkablogger

    Yeah, I'll get back to ya later on that.

  • http://twitter.com/Jeffrey_Fass Jeffrey_Fass

    Many people want it NOW, a social dysfunction. Some people are all inside themselves and don't feel the person on the other end. Still others become anxious and read rejection into it.

    It's communication without the validation that face time or telephone (or even IM) gives one. Good post. Especially good *because* it's reactive.

    Jeffrey
    http://www.successfulpursuits.com

  • chrisgarrett

    I have had a similar issue this week as I was locked away at a conference, but I think part of the issue is that we raise the expectation by normally being very responsive. Perhaps we should let more emails etc sit for a while instead of replying so quickly?

    PS. You bugger, didn't realize you were on this island right now otherwise I would have travelled down to see you :/

  • grahamchastney

    Absolutely. the now, Now, NOW, mentality that we have built has got to stop.
    I returned from holiday on Monday this week, I was travelling to another locations for a meeting, before had arrived I received a call from someone asking me why I wasn't in their meeting at a completely different location. They knew had sent me an email while I was holiday requesting a meeting, they new I was on holiday, and if they had looked in my calendar they would have known that I was at the other end of the country.

  • http://www.heartyimc.com/ Sharon Hearty

    Chris, human nature is just that – the more we get the more we want. Sounds like some out their threw their toys out of the pram. We just need checked and this is good. We have to get back to what you have said and have a little patience and then all good things happen. BTW really looking forward to watching http://www.twitterface.com to hear you talk and the rest of the guys today at #likeminds in the UK, will be watching from Ireland. Relax and enjoy.

  • http://www.facebook.com/jp.rangaswami JP Rangaswami

    sometimes ubiquitous access can lead to an “instant gratification” approach to doing things, where words like “urgent” or “important” lose meaning. 24/7 is meaningful for emergency services. for everyone else, it's about choice. choice about when, choice about where.

    When it comes to communications, choice relates to sender as well as to recipient. Each chooses time and place. And conventions emerge.

    So for example, as friend Stu Berwick reminded me a decade ago, it is polite to be silent in the context of instant messaging.

    Each modality of communication evolves a set of norms, of acceptable behaviour, of politenesses and expectations. When you have to acknowledge receipt. When you must reply forthwith. When none of this matters.

    We're at a stage where much of this remains inchoate.

  • http://twitter.com/jodybossert Jody Bossert

    Hehe, “AnyWHEN”. I like that. I admit I can get a little impatient with people's response times on occasion. I forget that my peers aren't always quite as “connected” as I am. I definitely don't raise any red flags until after 24 hours though! …at least I don't think I do. I'll definitely be more mindful of it after reading this.

  • http://www.heartyimc.com/ Sharon Hearty

    Chris, human nature is just that – the more we get the more we want. Sounds like some out their threw their toys out of the pram. We just need checked and this is good. We have to get back to what you have said and have a little patience and then all good things happen. BTW really looking forward to watching http://www.twitterface.com to hear you talk and the rest of the guys today at #likeminds in the UK, will be watching from Ireland. Relax and enjoy.

  • http://www.facebook.com/tyadams27 Tyler Adams

    With certain people I won’t work on anything they need until at least 24 hours after they ask me for it, even if I have time. These are the people for which everything is urgent (it isn’t actually), for which I have dropped what I was working on in the past to help them out. Of course, I don’t mind helping, even on short notice. But working like this isn’t efficient or productive and can be a huge headache.

    It’s important to develop a process for which people can contact you and set expectations regarding the turnaround time for any work/help you might give them. This is something you seem to have been doing a lot recently, Chris. Hope this blog post connects with some folks.

  • http://www.alexaispas.com/ Alexa Ispas | Creating Legacy

    Hi Chris, thanks for 'anywhen' – I think it's one of these concepts that has the 'stickiness' factor. I think the problem is that we are becoming so much more 'efficient' and 'in the loop' – but at the expense of being able to switch off, even in situations where being offline is dictated by circumstances outside our control. By the way, I like the sense of frustration in your blog post – it makes for interesting reading. A good lesson for those of us who are generally limiting ourselves to expressing 'balanced' views in our blogs.

  • http://www.webconsuls.com/blog Judy Helfand

    On 2/2410 you wrote about The Different Ways You Communicate – it was very clear, to which I responded: “Maybe we can apply the three Cs of marriage to business: Communication, Cooperation, and Consideration. Imagine how businesses succeeded when all we had was a telephone, a typewriter, and the US Mail. Amazing. I sometimes feel that people will make a phone call, follow-up with an email, then follow with a DM for the sole purpose of saying they accomplished something on their to-do list. Spinning wheels. Thanks for making us think!”

    Today I am reading your post and I think what shocks me more about what you are stating is this: I am one of 124,000+ of your followers, I don’t know you personally, I have heard you speak at a conference, I can’t DM you, BUT, even I knew you were experiencing a horrific week of travel topped off by multiple delays in Chicago, without connectivity getting to the UK. I bascially knew you were out of “touch” because I actually read your tweets. I pretty much figured your week was going to be hard when you mentioned that you forgot to pack the electical converter “thing”. I could go on…you left very large bread crumbs over the past week.

    Some commenters have talked about “instant gratification”, “social dysfunction”, “perspective”…I could add “nagging”; however, I like to think about it as what for a while we called “netiquette.” You can coin: “anywhen netiquette”. I touched on this once in a post, it might make you smile. http://www.webconsuls.com/blog/2008/10/do-you-need-pair-of-googles-goggles.html
    Wishing you safe travels.

  • Anonymous

    I just wanted to say that I’m really sorry that you had such a crappy day. And thanks for trusting us enough to share/vent/take a load off…happy to listen.

  • http://www.du4webtech.com Pre Priyadarshane

    This is a timely post and I’m glad to hear that you did stand up for yourself. We all have had experiences like this. I don’t think you are overreacting, I think it’s fair to work on your terms. This is expectation management – well done.

    Something we lack as a society nowadays is respect, sensibility and regard for others. A lot of us are just so wrapped up in trying get what we want, we completely ignore how it effects others. Just a walk in the mall will show you that. Something has to change, and this is one way to start that change.

  • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

    So, evidently, lots of people’s take is that I’ve brought this on my own, but it means that I’m faced with the dilemma I hate the most, the one I’ve dodged.

    * If I’m less accessible, then more people will say I’m a snobbish asshole.

    I’m afraid of that. It’s really one of my biggest fears: that people will think I’m snobby or that I don’t have time for them, etc.

    That’s the biggest icky feeling I have in the world, you know.

    But that seems to be most people’s take on what I should do to fix this.

    At the same time, I want to point out: My post is about the trouble of people wanting things to be in real time and timely. I used myself as an example, but remember, I’m writing it for US, not me.

    Aren’t you feeling this a bit?

    • http://twitter.com/gardenofwords Katie Elzer-Peters

      I think you need a break every now and then to refresh. I wrote about that in my comment, with a hamster metaphor, which makes me think that *I* probably need a break!

      We can create the expectation of immediate response, but I’m with you. There are LOTS of people for whom EVERYTHING is an emergency. The solution to them, for most sane people, is to STOP working with those people.

      Like you said, though, it’s hard to stop. For me, because I want/need to pay my bills. For you, because you don’t want to be perceived as snobby. The 1 hour, or 10 minute cycle of communication makes this even more difficult to sort out.

    • http://www.purplecar.net/ PurpleCar

      Ah, yes! NOW we are getting down to it: Being an asshole!

      Well, guess what, Chris? You’re an asshole. Accept this.

      This is key for you, man. This, to me as an outside observer, has been your biggest guiding theory in business relations: Don’t be an asshole.

      You will always be considered an ass by those who are themselves, asses.

      I’m not saying that you have sacrificed yourself all the time. I know you can set boundaries, you’re not 5 years old. What I’m saying is that your boundaries need redrawing now that you’ve achieved a certain level of success. You’ve accepted that you’re an asshole to some people before. Now that you reach more people, you are an asshole to more people. It’s simple math.

      • http://themickmorris.com/ Mick Morris

        Chris you are naturally a giver… those that have the overactive sense of self entitlement and urgency to be bugging you for responses in less than 24 hrs… I would hazard a guess that they are naturally takers.

        Takers will always try to get as much as they can as quick as they can.

        As a natural giver you ned to ration what you give and acknowledge that you can’t give everything to everyone all of the time. Having to say no or to ignore some people/things is going to make you feel uncomfortable (or in your own words like an asshole). But an effective giver is one who protects their capacity to give by looking after themselves.

    • http://maximumcustomerexperience.com/ Kelly

      Gosh, I really disagree with the idea that you’ve brought this on yourself (or that any of us have—it seems like lots of commenters have experience with the same thing, including me), and worse, that you should change your accessibility because people are being too demanding.

      1. The sea change is way outside of Chris Brogan.
      2. The problem is not limited to A-listers, or else, hahaha, I wouldn’t know what you were talking about.
      3. and most important—Your accessibility is something you are comfortable with AND it’s what got you to where you are.

      To close down now will be to become the thing you didn’t want to be. And it’ll change your business model.

      Bookmark this one and check back with me in two years, if you decide to change *you* because of other people. (Hope that doesn’t sound too doomsayer-ish.)

      Sometimes, you just gotta rant and hope folks hear you, then go right back to being yourself.

      Until later,

      Kelly

    • http://www.accidentalseeker.com/ Karen Talavera

      Chris, after reading your comment my heart aches for you. Here’s why.

      Your dilemma is with yourself, not other people. Your fear of what they’ll think about you is a projection. It’s not the truth. Please do all of us and yourself a huge service and let it go.

      You and many of us know it’s not the truth because you already go above and beyond to NOT be a snob. I often wonder how you have a life with balance at all, time for your wife, your kids. As a loyal reader of your blog for over a year, guess what? I WANT you to have a life offline. I WANT you to have balance. I WANT you to have abundance. I WANT you to go play with your kids more. I’m thrilled and energized by your success, so much so that sure, I want to see you hit the BIG, BIG time! But I also realize that when you do, you won’t have time to communicate as much. At least, I hope you’ll prioritize playing with your kids over tweeting more. And that’s okay with me.

      We who are really your people WANT YOU to be able to play bigger, to serve more, to get your message further, and to grow, stretch, and model what that looks like for the rest of us who want it too. If you’re Tweeting and blogging 24/7 instead of investing time in your next move, you can’t play bigger.

      Do you think people hold it against Jewel if she can’t tweet as much when she’s on tour, or @aplusk if he’s on location for a movie? No, they don’t, because most have never known celebrities before they were celebrities. Those of us who have followed you for a while, however, have a front row seat at the show of your evolution. I think some people aren’t ready for you to change. It makes them uncomfortable. They’re not ready for your celebrity and the now changing boundaries that come with it. But that doesn’t mean you’re not ready. Still, it’s your choice how big you want to go.

      But please, don’t get stuck on the online communications treadmill along the way. Frankly, I can’t keep up with your volume anyway. I find it overwhelming to be blatantly honest.

      So make your decision. You want to bigger? Then do it and shine. Set boundaries. Do first things first. Manage expectations. I think as you keep growing, you’re going to see the makeup of your tribe change. Some will leave, new ones will come. Do you think Oprah is agonizing about the viewers from 10 years ago who don’t watch anymore? I’m guessing not.

      Those who don’t like it will move on, and that’s okay. Let them.

      • http://www.accidentalseeker.com/ Karen Talavera

        And may I add, I hope I need this advice myself someday. If and when, you have my permission to “back at ‘cha” me.

      • http://themickmorris.com/ Mick Morris

        AMEN!

    • http://www.michaelcarwile.com/ Michael Carwile

      I think you have to TRUST your loyal fans to be smart enough to know that you aren’t being an asshole just because you are respecting your own time and personal space. I agree with everything PurpleCar and others have been telling you.

      I have read your blog for a very long time now. I feel like I know you, even though we’ve never met, or talked to one another, or exchanged emails, or even tweets for that matter. I firmly believe that anyone else that follows you and believes in what you have to say and appreciates all that you DO for US will understand and WON’T consider you an asshole.

      Don’t fear being considered an asshole. Like PurpleCar has said, it’s going to happen anyway, no matter what you do. TRUST us to be smart enough to know better.

  • michaelmartino

    Chris,

    I think it goes back to one of your three words for this year — “Kings”.

    Marsha Collier said “you should ‘be kingly’ with regards to managing criticism, and that essentially meant that I needed to maintain poise and balance and charm and demeanor when dealing with life’s unpleasant moments”

    You know what kind of effort and time you spend working and so do your friends and good business partners.

    The rest is noise that you treat as a King.

  • http://twitter.com/maryli22 Mary Li

    I’m guilty of having committed this act of insincerity multiple times. Much less frequent now as I’m learning how to control this sense of urgency. I try to plan things out now. If I need to solicit help – I’d ask much earlier than 24 hours before a deadline. It makes all situations and relationships less stressful. Thanks for the reminder that we’re all so used to “instant gratification” and that it is not a given, but rather a gift to have you available to answer questions.

    Hope the delayed flights in the future don’t put you in this position ever again. Well, hope there be no more delayed flights, but heck, that I highly doubt…

  • http://aclevercat.com/ Digigirl

    I believe the invention of the fax machine started this phenomenon. It used to be, you had to mail something, wait a couple of days for it to get there, then call to check or wait a couple more days to get it back in the mail. Then the fax machine came along and suddenly EVERYTHING was urgent. Everything had to be faxed instead of mailed, everything had to be immediately received, acted upon and returned.

    The Internet only multiplied the problem exponentially. I love technology. I do. But for every bit of progress, there is a downside…

    • http://www.webconsuls.com/blog Judy Helfand

      I remember working in New Hamshire for a major regional bank. I was a VP of Consumer Lending. Vendors, other banks outside of northern NH would always ask for our fax #, and they would be shocked that we didn’t have a fax. This was about 1988! Then they might say: “What is your mailing address?” to which I would respond, Indian Head Bank North, Main St, Conway, NH 03818. They would then say: “what # on Main St?” and I would say: we don’t have a street number! Keep in mind we were still “dialing” four digits to call a local number. Those were the days!

  • http://twitter.com/gardenofwords Katie Elzer-Peters

    Thank you for this blog. For giving us permission to “check out” on occasion. We’re ALL going to have HEART ATTACKS before we’re 40 if we don’t SLOW DOWN a little bit.

    I’m a freelancer, and I understand the need to have work work work work all the time. But, many times, I think I’m going to crash and burn. You can’t write well, you can’t create, you can’t innovate if your brain is FRIED. Sometimes, you need some time by yourself to look out the window.

    Sure, most of the time I can churn out something on command, but will it be my best work? NO. I disagree with the folks that say if you’re not connected, you’re not being the best. NOBODY can constantly spew quality into the atmosphere without a little break. The best is not having your brain going 24/7/365. I don’t know anybody who can sustain that.

    There’s a difference between running the hamster wheel and being the hamster circus performer. (Weird metaphor) The one on the wheel can’t jump off, and does the same thing OVER and OVER and OVER. The circus hamster takes breaks. When he comes out to perform, he has sparkle and pizazz! The one on the wheel is just exhausted and crabby.

    Wow! Maybe I need a nap!

  • Anonymous

    As usual, you have really hit a point we all need to address. Some of us find the urgency of others offensive while doing the same. Let’s admit we are all part of the problem and then start exemplifying change.

  • http://www.huddleproductions.com/ Chris Yates

    In the book “Four Hour Work Week” Timothy Ferris says he checks email & texts only on Mondays. It limits the daily or even minute to minute updates that slow him down.
    I would not go to the extreme of once a week but I like the concept of checking email during parts of the day instead of what I currently do and check on my phone hourly.

  • johnlusher

    Another good post Chris! I have worked with people that would send an email and then five minutes later call to see if I had received the email and then to get my reaction. Seriously? The sense of urgency has become an epidemic and there is no reason for it in most cases.

  • http://www.mikeslife.org Mike CJ

    I'm glad I read your comment before adding my own Chris – I was about to say the same thing. When we first start out, it's easy to be super fast with every response to anything. But as the traffic and noise builds up, it simply becomes impossible to do so.

    I guess we need to work on getting people to understand that over time.

    Whatever you do though, don't go down the option of the canned “It may take me some time to get back to you” repsonse – they only add to the problem!

  • http://twitter.com/steveames Steve Ames

    Hi Chris,
    I liked your previous post better ;-)
    Best,
    Steve

  • http://kmburck.com Kathy

    I get this quite a bit from a few clients, friends, and even family. They feel they can push for a reply because I always have my smart-phone (Palm Pre) with me and I’m always “plugged in” to the net. And when I’m home I always have my desktop and/or netbook running, and I’m connected.

    I LOVE being online, but I too don’t appreciate having to answer until I’m ready/have time. So I don’t, and thankfully most of my family knows and understands this. I also make this quite clear to my clients, and if they don’t like it, they move on. I like and need my me-time, and I don’t believe that work-life balance consists of 8+ hours of work a day, with weekends. I work max 8 hours a day Mon-Thurs and half day Fridays. I do not work weekends (unless I’m bored), and take every other Friday off during the Summer.

    Many think I’m foolish for working so few hours, but I like the stress-free time, and the fact that I can pursue things I love. Like photography, I can’t photograph the things I like at night, so I take that time during the day. I come back recharged and ready for anything.

    I could go on about work-life balance and how imbalanced it really is, but I’m an ENTP, and value my time, and unstructured schedule.

    So Chris, take back your time and reply when YOU can! They’ll be there, and if they’re not, you weren’t meant to work together.

  • Pingback: The Social Media Etiquette Commandments | Sarah Morgan

  • http://www.soultravelers3.com soultravelers3

    So true! Love it!

    Sorry about your really yucky flight and jet lag, but you are absolutely right and I hope you do say “no” more often. Nice guys have to demo this in our “anywhen” 24/7 world.

    It's healthy to unplug (intentional or not) & absolutely part of the global traveling digital nomad life. Even a rock star like you needs to rest & “push back” sometimes.

  • Rosy Villa

    Fight on, Chris!!! Amen!

  • http://twitter.com/CarolynRodi Carolyn Rodi

    Totally and completely agree. Think back for a minute when getting an “instant” fax was a big deal, a courier was about as fast as you could get, and you were thrilled when someone got back to you the next day. Expectations were pretty out of control in the days of email only; now add in texts, instant messages, and social media—it’s a monster. Like Thursday Bram, I’m very aware of when I answer emails. It’s usually never the same day, unless it’s very important. I think we can all control to a degree how high we set our own bars.

    I’m curious though: if we all had to vote, what’s an acceptable response time for a regular email?

  • http://www.ginalaguardia.com/ Gina LaGuardia

    I know this frustration well, Chris. It’s the digital equivalent to the traffic light changing from red to green and the person behind you honking at you within a split second. (That may be a NYC thing, but alas….).

    I’m not sure there’s a “solution” to countering people’s expectations, which is why I’ve finally let myself off the rapid fire-response hook. At the end of the day, I ask myself, “Who did I put first?” While it’s never myself (I’m a working mom/entrepreneur, after all), as long as my family is included in the answer, everyone else can wait a day or two… or, for that matter, a week, if necessary. I prioritize as best as I can and take it from there.

    Hang in there. :)

  • http://twitter.com/mckra1g mckra1g

    AnyWHEN is about honoring boundaries and respect. If someone cares enough about a response from you, it’s a fair assumption that (s)he follows you. If they care enough to note your twitterstream for the past 24 hours, he or she could have figured out that you had bigger fish to fry.

    Respect for the Other means that you allow for contingencies and real life. Petulance and demanding responses from anyone who has many plates spinning is selfish and shortsighted.

    Good grief. Hope you have an epic Friday. Best, M.

  • http://www.smartsandculture.com/ Maryann Devine

    A couple of years ago I tried to use a service to manage the expectations of students who thought I should reply within minutes. When they emailed me, they got a message saying I was away and would get back to them within such-and-such time. If it was an emergency, they had the option of messaging me and I'd get back to them right away.

    So they'd use the 'emergency' message to tell me they'd just sent me an email.

    Doh!

  • http://wwwjackbenimble.blogspot.com/ The JackB

    The fair lady Anywhen is among the most beautiful throughout the land and deserves all the protection that we can afford. Seriously, the biggest problem technology has created is the erosion of patience.

  • Anonymous

    I apologize if this has already been said, I don’t have the time to read through all the comments :) I wonder, Chris, if people bring situations such as this on themselves. Before anyone gets too huffy with me, let me explain. If you have created an expectation that you always get back within 24 hours (or even sooner) and suddenly, your client does not hear back from you, they make feel slighted in some way. I’m not saying that you, in particular, created this expectation, but it can very easily happen.

    When creating a relationship with a client, time should always be spelled out. I know that in the contracts with my organization, we always carefully define how long we will take to return emails and create reasonable expectations and then issues such as this do not happen. Of course there are always unforeseeable situations that arise, but if expectations are laid out clearly, occurrences, such as your situation, can generally be avoided.

    Long time reader, first time commenter. Thanks Lisa for calling us out yesterday.

    • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

      It was said, but you’re great for adding your thoughts.

  • bkjrecruiter

    Chris- Thanks for being honest (frustration)… Curious.. What does your wife say about this? what does family say about this?

    Are you Happy about your life?

    Until you respond, enJOY your trip.. Best, Brian-

  • JM

    Hope you are awake by now; isn't that the reason you do what you do; to teach others social engagement – as you know social engagement is 24×7.
    That is the reality 24×7 – some people will accept it as a reality some won't. Competition now comes from every angle of the planet, 180 degrees coverage; it is a flat world and everyone (including you) wants to be heard, listened, served NOW!

  • http://BuckingtheRealEstateTrend.com SusieBlackmon

    Ooooh. I love it when you get tough Chris.

  • http://twitter.com/surekhapillai Surekha Pillai

    *gulp* you reallly sound annoyed there, chris. this is also the price you are paying for being responsive to all almost all the time. the anywhen principle doesnt always apply because it's you – the friendly, helpful, funny chris brogan. not anywho. but, a point well made and knowing how much you're loved, i'm sure you'll now be allowed some breathing space. don't complain now when we don't chase you :)

  • http://www.kevinmontgomery.com kevinmontgomery

    You can get a really cheap pay as you go phone, or buy a dongle that will give you mobile broadband. It is worth it if you plan on coming to the UK much. The mobile broadband dongles can be pay as you go as well.
    Good luck! Kevin

  • avilbeckford

    Chris,

    A lesson that I have learned in life is that most things can actually wait. We are living in a world that's viewed as INSTANT: instant gratification, get it this instant and so on. Sometimes we get caught up in the hype. Take a deep breath and have a really great day. I wish you success in your undertakings today.

    Avil Beckford

  • Anonymous

    I’m interested in knowing….what was the outcome of being offline for 24 hrs?

    I bet everything survived just fine…you need to learn to chill, relax and find a happy hour when you find your self in this kind of situation. I’d love to have you work FOR me…over achiever!

    • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

      Everything did. It’s just that people were upset with me for not answering fast.

  • thomsinger

    The problem is less the internet and more the overwhelming amount of “self-importance” that each individual in our society seems to now have. I spoke to a person on the phone who wanted to meet for lunch. He said “how about tomorrow”?. My first open lunch was 3 weeks out, so I suggested breakfast. He said “I am not a morning person, I don't do breakfasts”. Then he was offended that we could not meet for three weeks. Did he not see the irony in his disdain? It was all one sided. — but this is becoming more and more typical. People want something of another person, and they want it on their terms…. it is a symptom of the fact that too many people only think of their side of a relationships. To thrive in relationships you must look from the other person's view, too.

  • Anonymous

    “Not curing cancer here… so where’s the fire?” That’s one of my favorites to use on Friday’s at 4pm when my “then” CEO routinely tried to give my department some random “urgent” project that had to be tended to immediately.

    Who gives a tech department (routinely) a new urgent deliverable Friday afternoon?

    • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

      Always helpful, eh MB?

      • Anonymous

        definitely, i can relate.

  • http://twitter.com/Jamesbedell Jamesbedell

    My background is in lighting design and let me tell you, no one EVER needs a light that urgently. Yet in the age of always on instant communication, people expect your work INSTANTLY. The truth is most steps in any project are incremental at best. There’s no need to treat every step in every project like it’s the final sign off before the client sees it.

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  • http://www.LegacyTravel.com/ Catherine Banks

    Sorry for the frustrating travel day, Chris. Hopefully a good nap and a good meal will turn things around for you.

  • http://www.katherinefaith.com/ Kate Wilson

    Chris,

    I felt the same way yesterday about all the online living we are all doing. Must be something in the “air”. Breate deep, love long and laugh often, out-loud with other in-person humans.

    In case you were interested in my take.
    http://katherinefaith.typepad.com/blog/2010/02/connect-with-your-world.html

    Take Care.

    Kate Wilson

    @katefaith

  • http://twitter.com/AnnieCorriveau Annie Corriveau

    Thanks Chris for this post! I'm relief to know that you also think people's sense of urgency has to change. Things need to put in the right perspective. We will be better at our jobs and less stressed. Thanks Again!

  • http://www.confessionsofasocialmediamamapreneur.blogspot.com/ AlexisCeule

    oh honey, I'm so sorry. I hope that most were just downright worried… because that was probably an usually long time for you to be “silent in the 2.0″. Nonetheless, it gives no one the right to rag on you.

    We're all so damn available these days. It's hard to tell when work stops and starts each day. It kind of doesn't. (I work from home. LOL)

  • http://theflaggagency.com/blog/ Chuck Flagg

    This can be true for clients as well in the travel business. Getting an experience they did not sign up for is an emergency, finding a price drop online and getting mad because you will not match it at 3AM is not!

    I shared this entry with other travel agent friends. I think it can so apply. Thanks for writing it Chris.

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