February 26, 2010 277 Comments

The Assault On Anywhen

hear no evil **UPDATE: This isn’t CLIENT communications. This is friends and colleagues.** I’m frustrated. I just spent about 20 hours without connection to the web. No email. No Twitter. No blog comments. No nothing. The technical reason was that my flight was seriously delayed, then held in the air, and then when I got to the UK (where I write this), I learned that neither of my phones is GSM-enabled, so I’m without communications technology.

But none of that is why I’m frustrated.

I have SEVERAL emails from people complaining that they didn’t hear back from me. In most of them, it was within 24 hours of the original mail. In other times, I hadn’t been in touch and it was okay that they nudge me. But the ones from within 24 hours. Seriously?

This Has to Stop

None of us are performing surgery (unless you are). You’re not calling me for the antidote to a poison. We MUST police ourselves about our sense of urgency. What happens, and I can be guilty, is that when WE need something, we push for it, not really taking into consideration the other side of the equation. So instead of just ticking something off our list, we come off as insistent and insensitive to other people’s situations.

How I Am Going to React

I’m saying no. I’m going to say no to a BOATLOAD of things I’ve originally said yes to, simply because I’m very frustrated. I can appreciate your need to get things done. I can appreciate your wanting to include me. But I can’t be held to a 24 hour clock.

We’re Ruining Anywhen

Anywhen: the problem the Internet solved. I’m blogging this at 4:38AM eastern time. It’s 9:38AM UK time. You can read this anyWHEN. See the beauty of it?

(AnyWHERE is what telephones solve. Get it?)

But when we have everyone held to urgency and time locks, we’ve ruined Anywhen. And I am a citizen of that world. I am an Internet person who is being pushed to constrained time, and I think I’m done.

(Mind you, I’m severely jet-lagged, had a really really bad day of travel, and haven’t had access to the net for a while, so I’m also a bit over-reactive.)

But please, can we please lose our addiction to urgency? Because I’m in a serious mood to defend AnyWHEN vigorously.

Photo credit Cl@re Bear

No related posts.

ChrisBrogan.com runs on the Genesis Framework

Genesis Theme Framework

The Genesis Framework empowers you to quickly and easily build incredible websites with WordPress. Whether you're a novice or advanced developer, Genesis provides you with the secure and search-engine-optimized foundation that takes WordPress to places you never thought it could go.

With automatic theme updates and world-class support included, Genesis is the smart choice for your WordPress website or blog.

Become a StudioPress Affiliate

← Older Comments
Newer Comments →
  • http://www.purplecar.net/ PurpleCar

    And beyond being seen as an asshole, I think the underlying conflict is the true cause of your unrest.

    Your new media theory: personal relationships.
    Big business/old media theory: business relationships.

    Where do the twain meet?

    Perhaps you are uncomfortable now because your paradigm must shift: You can't be 100% personal relationships. Although new media theory is what got you so excited in the first place, you are now at the crossroads where it won't work for you in some areas. But you know you can't move into a total 100% business relationship theory either.

    Paradigm shifts are never easy. But your goals dictate that you must change in order to reach them. You want to spread new media theory, but you will have to adopt some old media theory in order to do it. I don't think you need to follow the path of The Sith and fall like Anakin Skywalker, but if you want to change the world, Chris, you will have to adapt.

    Learn the great parts of business relationships so that the important personal/business relationships and important personal relationships grow and flourish. This is not the Dark Side, man. It's the Big Time.

  • http://www.rockandrollmama.com rockandrollmama

    I did project management from home about 4 years ago, and got very caught up in the 24/7 news cycle of responsiveness- I drew a hard line when I realized
    A. I kinda hated that job and
    B. I was not able to be truly present with my children or at events, because I had the constant burden of other's unrealistic expectations (which I had reinforced) weighing on me.
    What I do now is a better fit, as I meet my deliverables with little fire-putting out, but I still have to remember the people in front of me, whether at a conference or at home, get my attention first. I can't imagine the scale of things coming at you. I know a gatekeeper might make you feel inaccessible, but jeez louise, Chris. You deserve a gatekeeper. You need someone/thing to block all this energy comin at you all the time so you can have all the real time interactions you thrive on. There, lecture over.:) Enjoy across the pond!

  • http://www.accidentalseeker.com/ Karen Talavera

    AMEN! I love you! Thank you! It's about damn time! I am compelled to share a reminder.

    People, listen up. NOTHING YOU CHASE COMES TO YOU! On the contrary, it runs from you. What Chris wrote today is a perfect living manifestation of that truth. Learn the hard way or the easy way, I don't care. But what I see is a lot of desperation and need out there, and guess what? If that's where you're caught up it will only make you more desperate and needy (evindenced by the fact that if you were hoping to work with Chris and he now said no to you, you won't be working with him, will you?)

    If you want what you want you'd better learn how to invite and entice it, how to lure and attract it, and how to respect and be patient. Nudge, yes, but don't hound. Remember, all abundance is attracted, not pursued.

    Just because we can communicate 24/7 doesn't mean we should. Check your expectations at the door. They may be yours, but that doesn't give anyone the right to force them on the rest of the world. Some people have a life that doesn't involve a Borg-like existence wired into technology – what about them? Perhaps the lesson here is we're supposed to spend a bit more time in that life. I'm going to go outside and enjoy the Florida sunshine now . . . see you offline.

  • http://www.looble.com/ deceth

    I'm just saying, you can't win every race. For example, in this case, it was physically impossible.

    But if you lose a race, I don't think it means you should slow down for the next one.

    We should do the best we can do. If we can reply fast, we should. We should not slow down, we should be realistic of our capabilities and strive to achieve maximum output. Fast is relative. If the best I can do is reply in 1 week, then I should try my best never to take longer.

  • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

    That's quite a manifestation. You're absolutely right. I cringe at chasers. Maybe it's wrong to do so, but that's my thing.

  • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

    I appreciate the feedback. I'm thinking long and hard on what you have to say. : )

  • http://www.accidentalseeker.com/ Karen Talavera

    The fact that you cringe isn't right or wrong, it's natural. It's just how the universe works. We all usually cringe at chasers. Those who don't are attention-addicted (I'm thinking certain celebs here) and that can turn into one unhealthy (or deadly) addiction.

  • http://twitter.com/ColinWinstanley Colin Winstanley

    Hi Chris, Thank you for not bringing your travel frustrations to LikeMinds, and being a breath of fresh air to all of us. You showed us in 20 minutes what social media is all about, and it isn’t about technology, it’s about being a real person, and connecting with other real people. It was wonderful to speak to you personally as you took the time and trouble to speak to as many people as possible after the event, as the high of the day mingled with the alcohol of the evening. It was a privilege to meet with you in person.

  • Anonymous

    An interesting post. I think a lot of this is cultural expectations. I don’t know if you’ve read any of Edward T. Hall’s work Chris, but he discusses how Westerners, particularly Americans are very wound up about time and when something should occur. He was writing about this well before the advent of email, but it’s just as applicable today.

    I think to defend anywhen, it’s important to recognize the cultural norms that assault it, in order to plan accordingly on when/how you can be expected to respond. Hope your day has gotten better.

  • http://www.billeblue.com BilleBaty

    All I can say is DITTO, Chris, YOU ROCK! I’ve been wanting to say that for 7 years and now I don’t have to. Get some sleep BTW.
    Keep Believing…

  • http://www.kherize5.com Suzanne Vara

    Chris

    I am not defending the behavior in anyway but this is what as a society we have been indoctrinated with. “Fast”-ness has been drilled into us from fast food, speed of a computer to accessibility with phones, computers, etc. The instant and constant means of contact is how have been taught to live. In some cases it ads a level of convenience and in others it creates pure madness.

    When we want something from someone we create an expectation of when we feel they should take care of it. We want it and do not even consider the time, the effort and the means that are involved. It is not even so much about thinking the demands placed by other people I wrote about this and the need for others to have attention, immediate attention from industry leaders. I called the cult of attention. It really is. People have to have a piece of you on their timeline to define them. I need you to do this now. Oh really because now is not going to get it done. I do not understand that way of thinking as if someone is doing something for you (talking non-client here) then it is when they are ready to provide same. I look at it differently. If someone “owes” me something I would rather wait for them to be totally focused on it than to do it in a forced manner just to get it done. It is not about being patient – it is about being respectful and grateful for what they are doing for you.

    That’s my $.02

    Hope you are enjoying London and are able to see some of the city while you are there.

    @SuzanneVara

  • Anonymous

    I am confused. I am not sure if I disagree with you or just don’t understand who you mean to be talking about. If I read the post without reading the “update” I would agree with all your thoughts. Because you’re right…the majority of people need to take a chill pill with a glass od wine and turn off all communication until morning. But…you added that “update” which made your points a lot more confusing. The problem is your update says you are talking about friends and colleagues. Here’s the issue: Friends and colleagues are two totally different groups of people. Friends are the people that know when you are traveling, they know that you are going to be unavailable, but they are also the people that you need to respond to immediately for that exact reason. Real friends don’t send a message unless it is important. Friends are people that should be able to demand immediate responses…and should receive them. Friends are those who I expect to get multiple text messages from if I have forgotten to respond to them quickly. Friends are allowed to bug you; they know you well enough and have earned that right.

    Then there are colleagues. While yes, some colleagues may be friends, it is a different type of friend. Colleagues are the friends that you hang out with at networking events, maybe grab dinner with but are not the people you’d invite to a birthday party for your kid. These are also the people that I think your post is really talking about…because these are the people that do tend to be demanding. And yes, these people do need to chill. These people have done nothing to demand your attention this immediately. They deserve a response, but when it is convenient for YOU not for THEM.

    I guess my confusion with the post is while you make good points for colleagues and work related stuff…the same points don’t make sense when talking about real friends.

  • http://themickmorris.com/ Mick Morris

    If we want to use this analogy, then the issue is not about a single race…. it's the championship series that is important. Sure you can lose the occassional race and still smash the championship.

    But that's not really the point.. is it. I think a whole bunch of people need to take a chill pill and appreciate their “demands” in the context of the person that they are “demanding” from.

  • http://themickmorris.com/ Mick Morris

    Now wouldn't this concept really shake up people's expectations… we should all include this button with a sliding scale in a drop down box….

    reply within 12 hrs = $x
    reply within 24 hrs = $1/2 x
    reply within 48 hrs = $1/4 x
    reply when it is convenient to me = completely free

  • http://themickmorris.com/ Mick Morris

    What a fantastic way of viewing things!

  • Pingback: Are you hurting yourself more than your enemy?

  • Pingback: Web curation for February 26th 2010

  • http://www.Escapingthe9to5.com/ Maren Kate

    I soo agree!! I love it ANYWHEN :)

  • http://StanDubin.com standubin

    People get things done at different speeds. Some move at breakneck speed; some prefer to sit and watch corn grow. And there’s everything in between. Learning how fast or slow someone moves can help you immensely. You can gently speed someone along or if you’re distraught by how fast you’re being pressured to do something, you can gently slow the other fella down. Probably the key word in that last sentence was: “gently.”

  • ChrissyInge

    Good point about our own tendency to reinforce these expectations. If you normally are available 24/7 via at least 8 different modes of online communication, it becomes something that's expected of you, and inevitably creates something of a backlash when you push back. There is also the reality, though, of more and more people assuming that your sole priority is whatever they've thought of just now.

  • http://www.BrandCampU.com HajjFlemings

    Chris,

    Great post. Someone else urgency doesn’t constitute an emergency on my end is a statement that comes to mind. Keep doing what you do.

  • http://twitter.com/bebopalicious Jenni Leeds

    Wow – you hit a home run with this analysis. Will you be my therapist? ;)

  • Anonymous

    Maybe the auto-responder email might work in situations when you know that your anyWHEN might be disrupted.

    It must be difficult to weigh the options of answer this email because I must (client) and push this one aside because its from a “groupie”. Yet its the “groupies” (I’m one, and I have converted 3 other people) who make it so you can get even more clients. In golf we call that a stymie.

    Also goes to show how “anger” gets the natives writing.

  • John Griffiths

    test

  • http://www.chicagoliposuctionsurgeons.com/ Chicago liposuction

    Right now my son is diagramming sentences. Yes, I know this is cruel. The Random Yak has a wonderful post about her child’s history assignment. While I will freely admit that creativity and personal expression is a wonderful thing for a child to learn I am with the Yak on her assessment of this assignment.

  • http://www.BrandCampU.com HajjFlemings

    Christopher,

    I love the quote I had to reply.

  • http://twitter.com/robin_dickinson Robin Dickinson

    Hey Chris,

    This all sounds completely unsustainable – especially as you are still ascending in success and popularity. Time to change the game again.

    Best, Robin :)

  • Anonymous

    Society is turning into an impatient monster that demands attention regardless of the TRUE urgency of the situation. The only way to truly control it is to manage client expectations by not OVER-delivering – not even once.

    It’s the single greatest challenge in my business today, as we’re all programmed to quickly jump and address any email that comes through to our inbox. The email icon bounces and we’re obsessively compelled to click it! It seems like fantastic customer service, however it’s setting a precedent that can’t always be lived up to – thus actually negatively impacting on the business.

    We’re now working to establish email as a secondary contact for non-urgent issues that can be addressed within 24 hours, as our clients are the type that’ll phone/email 2 hours after sending an email – just to check that it arrived. Now that we’re growing, our previous efficiency is killing us.

    The message we’re pushing is..
    urgent issues = telephone
    general isues = email (which are checked at 10am, 1pm and 4pm only).

    Bloody difficult to get people to unlearn their email habits though!

  • Anonymous

    anywhen?Wasnt there already a obscure lil vague term for what you want to convery..wats it called..ahem..”anytime”

    but then what do i knw ;-)

    • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

      But no. Anywhen is more like anywhere, which is to say we can do it whenever. Time-shifted.

  • Pingback: Is the Social Web Making Us Too Dependant? – Suzemuse

  • http://brian23.com Brian

    Price of your success to some extent…and that a piece of your success equation was being open and accessible. A conundrum…! : )

    • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

      That’s exactly the deal. It’s totally my problem.

      • http://brian23.com Brian

        Not to make you feel like a science experiment, but I remember talking to someone about you when Trust Agents was ramping up, and being fascinated by how you’d deal with this very issue if it blew you up.

        I think writing/talking about it like this is a good thing, even if it’s not all positive stuff.

  • Anonymous

    I’m late to this party, but I’m with Chris. In fact, I started down this road awhile back. As thomsinger said, these types of communities have become all about me. Good grief, a person publicly ragged on me because I didn’t attend a meeting the day after my father died. I had information on her pet project and the discussion had to be put off.

    PurpleCar implies that because we embrace relationships within our business we have to expect to be available at all times to all people. Relationships are not one way. Relationship also include respect for the other person above oneself.

    I gather from Chris’ comments the emails he received had little to do with asking if he was o.k. They were probably more like why are you ignoring me.

    If any of us as Chris’ followers have any respect for him as a fellow human, we will allow him to have down time and even a little jetlag melt-down.

  • http://www.CopywritingMaven.com CopywritingMaven

    Boundaries, Chris. Boundaries.

  • http://robgokee.com Rob Gokee

    As a composer for film & television, I am reminded of this on a regular basis. My job is constant back-and-forth of waiting for someone to make a decision, and then the second the decision is made it needs to be input immediately because of all the time that’s already been wasted.

  • http://robgokee.com Rob Gokee

    As a composer for film & television, I am reminded of this on a regular basis. My job is constant back-and-forth of waiting for someone to make a decision, and then the second the decision is made it needs to be input immediately because of all the time that’s already been wasted.

  • http://www.blackbeltguide.com/ Marc Winitz

    Being connected 24/7 just sucks, doesn’t it? Or does it? Chris, don’t quit your job, rack this up to a bad hair day and move on.

    By the way, although I am a new fan of yours (meaning only recently I have come to know who you are as a national figure) I am slightly surprised that a PR pro such as you would react in public like this way. Other than the fact that you are human, this is certainly not the best way to manage your image – or did you intend to “keep it real” so publicly?

    The conversation is great, eventually I’ll buy your book…

  • http://www.blackbeltguide.com/ Marc Winitz

    Being connected 24/7 just sucks, doesn’t it? Or does it? Chris, don’t quit your job, rack this up to a bad hair day and move on.

    By the way, although I am a new fan of yours (meaning only recently I have come to know who you are as a national figure) I am slightly surprised that a PR pro such as you would react in public like this way. Other than the fact that you are human, this is certainly not the best way to manage your image – or did you intend to “keep it real” so publicly?

    The conversation is great, eventually I’ll buy your book…

  • http://JimRaffel.com/ Jim Raffel

    Chris, Take a quick look at “My Top 10 Personal Development Success Tips” Item #7 in particular – saying no is truly one of the ways I have begun to become more successful. Safe travels my friend and may you have a few event free trips!

  • http://JimRaffel.com/ Jim Raffel

    Chris, Take a quick look at “My Top 10 Personal Development Success Tips” Item #7 in particular – saying no is truly one of the ways I have begun to become more successful. Safe travels my friend and may you have a few event free trips!

  • Pingback: Outside the Lines Finding Your Rhythm | The Great Work Blog

  • Anonymous

    ok so anyWhen is like whenEver and not anyTime…phew..anyWay I do get what you say in the post..but you know what Its kind of our fault to begin with…its about expectation..if you are the sorta person who checks his email every 10 minutes replies instantly..people expect that from you..if you check email once a day people get programmed to expect replies a day later…

    SideTip: use a autorsponder ;-) telling people when they should be expecting a reply back or when you would check your email next..

  • Anonymous

    ok so anyWhen is like whenEver and not anyTime…phew..anyWay I do get what you say in the post..but you know what Its kind of our fault to begin with…its about expectation..if you are the sorta person who checks his email every 10 minutes replies instantly..people expect that from you..if you check email once a day people get programmed to expect replies a day later…

    SideTip: use a autorsponder ;-) telling people when they should be expecting a reply back or when you would check your email next..

  • http://twitter.com/stevesuhr Steve Suhrheinrich

    I like this post and the tone. The sense of urgency people expect from me is almost always created by me. It’s professional to return all emails and phone calls, but I don’t let people expect I’ll do it instantly or at all hours of the day/night. To Chris’ point, saying NO is the only way to achieve balance. Otherwise, you’ll spend all day answering requests and working on other peoples issues. It’s good to remember that anywhen is offline too.

  • http://twitter.com/stevesuhr Steve Suhrheinrich

    I like this post and the tone. The sense of urgency people expect from me is almost always created by me. It’s professional to return all emails and phone calls, but I don’t let people expect I’ll do it instantly or at all hours of the day/night. To Chris’ point, saying NO is the only way to achieve balance. Otherwise, you’ll spend all day answering requests and working on other peoples issues. It’s good to remember that anywhen is offline too.

  • Pingback: anywhen « Poetechie

  • linfp2009

    http://www.footwearclothes.com
    Louis Vuitton handbags
    Gucci jeans
    Fendi handbags $45/pairs forsell

  • linfp2009

    http://www.footwearclothes.com
    Louis vuitton handbags
    Edhardy suit

  • linfp2009

    http://www.footwearclothes.com
    Coach handbags $45/pairs forsell

  • linfp2009

    http://www.footwearclothes.com
    Juicy handbags
    Nike airmax TN trainers $45/pairs forsell

  • Pingback: Make A Living Writing » Blog Archive » Guest Post: Email Time Management Domination by Jessie Haynes - Frank advice about the business of writing.

← Older Comments
Newer Comments →