August 27, 2010 58 Comments

The Game You See

o mundo real;

There’s the game you see, and the game we’re playing. There’s the game you understand, and the one you haven’t yet begun to comprehend. There’s the game you want to play, and the game you’re facing.

The Game You See

You might see my tweets, or my blog post. You don’t see the work I do for clients (at least not directly). You don’t see my philanthropic interests (unless I want you to play along, too). You don’t see when I have a bad day (unless you’re a Facebook friend, and I’m sorry for that, because I use FB to whine sometimes).

You also see the success without thinking about the sacrifice. You also see the stumbles without thinking about what they teach me. There’s the game you see, just like I see only part of your game.

The Game You Understand

Once you master one game, you sense the next one (if you’re lucky). In 2006, I couldn’t have found a business model if it were a rattlesnake painted orange. Now, I am forced to keep a little notebook in my pocket to write down future business projects so that I can finish the ones I’m already doing. Once I figured out one game, I could move to another level.

It’s the same with all of us. Lots of times, you might not yet sense the dimensions of that new game. Sometimes, others around you might know that you don’t yet sense it. Depending on your relationship to them, they may or may not be helpful (and nudge you towards that new game) or they may be hurtful, and snatch that new game away from you before you’ve noticed it missing.

The Game You Want to Play

Growing up, I wanted to write fiction. I also wanted to write comics. Instead, I write articles for magazines and blogs, and I write books. There’s the game I wanted to play, and the one in front of me. If I spent more time worrying and feeling bad about the game I wanted to play, I’d have missed the opportunity to master the game in front of me.

Sometimes, we get these reversed. We think we want to play another game, and we think we have the wrong game in front of us. But lots of times, that’s just an error in perception, or in our growth. A lot of times, the game in front of us is the better game. We just haven’t learned how to play it well. Yet.

Some People Think Games Aren’t Serious

That’s quite alright. While you’re being serious, I’m playing games. Did you read Trust Agents? I’m making my own game.

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  • http://www.danieldecker.net Daniel Decker

    “You also see the success without thinking about the sacrifice.”

    Love the entire post and concept but for whatever reason that line above really stuck out. There are a lot of people who want to play the game but who aren’t willing to do what it takes to get in. Hard work, strategy and perseverance are required. Those are the things that happen behind the blog and the social media stream. Those are the things that move the ball, the things that make an overnight success 10 years in the making.

  • http://twitter.com/mtveuro mtv european

    I echo your comments about what you wanted to be and what you are doing as being an amazing alternative but with a different twist. The thing is – when we made our dreams, often we were not thinking about all the possible ways we could do it – yet the Universe was. Bravo. Jeff

  • http://www.Kens411.com Ken Brand

    That opening paragraph explains it all. Awesome post. Thanks.

  • http://www.ivanwalsh.com Ivan Walsh

    Accepting the hand you’ve been dealt releases you from feeling that you deserved a better hand.

    …and acceptance doesn’t mean being resigned to your fate but embracing it. Great piece of writing, Chris.

  • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

    Thanks, Daniel. I do my best. : )

  • http://www.messycanvas.com Mandy Steward

    Love this post! Also, I’m willing to bet there is still a novel or a graphic novel buried in you, and it will pour out when the time is right. You do what is in front of you, trusting the timing of it all, and you do it well.

  • Anonymous

    I think you are inspiring Chris. I mean that.

    The worry is people are trying to copy you without understanding the strategy behind the game, or without understanding what you are seeing on the surface might be an experiment, and so on. Someone told me the other day that I should charge 10x my speaking fee because “That’s what Chris Brogan does”. Of course I laughed (probably a bit rudely).

    Keep doing what you do. It’s appreciated and it is not your job to leave a crumb trail for anyone to follow unless you really want to and are ready to :)

  • http://twitter.com/partywedo Bruce Christensen

    Chris,
    Great message!
    Playing games teaches us that we are sometimes the conquering Knight and sometimes the Pawn. The magic and the fun of the game are making the moves and seeing what happens next.

    • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

      It’s still taking all I can to teach my daughter that the queen isn’t the most important piece on the board. Pawns are.

  • Anonymous

    Chris….

    This is a great reminder to us all that we do not see the whole “picture” when we glance at the life of another human being. Everyone tends to “judge and bucket” very quickly. They make assumptions and view them as the whole truth. It is easier for us to live our lives by classifying others and assuming we know their “game”.

    Even the people you are closest with (spouse, kids, friends, co-workers) have deeper levels of their thoughts, desires, hopes, dreams, prejudices, etc…. If we do not invest the time to fully understand those we know, like and love…. we will NEVER do this with those who are a few degrees removed.

    Thus, I suggest everyone remember that everyone you encounter is more than you think they are when taken for the whole. Pick one person today whom you think you “know their game” and ask them deeper questions (and do so with a real interest and empathy). You will be surprised (maybe pleasantly, maybe negatively) when you really look, listen and feel the other person at their soul.

    Have a great day.

    thom

  • http://reallifemadman.blogspot.com Marjorie Clayman

    Ah, Chris, a profound post, and on a topic I have been meditating on a great deal myself lately.

    About, oh, 15 years ago or so, something happened in my life that altered the path I thought I was going to take. Through no fault of my own, a wide series of dreams I had set up for myself vanished into the ether.

    This is not what Disney promises us. Jimney Cricket, a hero of mine, had always assured me that everything is just a matter of wishing upon a star.

    Well, reality, she has a nasty bite. I lamented for years. I mean, I still did things, still got excited about things, but everything was colored with that grey shading. “This is great, but it’s not what I dreamed up for myself.” You can’t find full joy when you approach things that way, of course.

    Only recently has it become clear to me that if you push aside the notion of dreams and wishes that can’t happen, you clear the path to a hallway full of dreams you didn’t know you had. I suspect there are things waiting for everyone that we don’t even know we have wished for yet.

    This alteration in perspective takes a bit of work, and it’s something that one has to come to of his or her own volition. No matter how well a post or book or essay is written, this is one of those things that only raw experience and, well, life, can teach you.

    I must say, though, that I always get a little chuckle when I meld Being John Malkovich with this train of thinking. “Craig” ends up being a world-famous puppeteer, but obviously in no way he or anyone else ever could have predicted. Are you familiar with it?

  • http://www.pcmgonline.com Ryan VanDenabeele

    Really liked this post.

    If you relates this to other professions like sports for examples. Fans see the baseball player hit home runs. They see a basketball player score and win rings. What they don’t see is the countless hours of practice, failures, sweat and trials. They see the end result or what we/they want other to see.

    Cheers!

  • http://www.joshchandlerva.com Josh Chandler

    Chris,I think we all share the same sentiment towards your post. It was really well written. :)I can’t imagine how much “behind the scenes” work you put into what is produced for ChrisBrogan dot com, New Marketing Labs and Podcamp. I’m truly grateful for what you do. Honestly, you’ve contributed towards creating a new generation of smart, creative thinkers. Online business truly wouldn’t be the same without you.PS – I’m reading “Trust Agents” at the moment. I hope that the above didn’t seem insincere. I truly meant it. :)

  • http://twitter.com/DaraBell DaraghBell

    I think it has all changed for you, having a whine on Facebook is still cool though. I think your message in Trust Agents is that we are looking for a bit more of human. Life changes so often from one where we cannot think of anyting to an abundance of ideas.

    All of these things the notebooks, the mindmaps I find raise the game.

    Thanks for sharing!!!

    Dara

  • http://www.conferencetipsonline.com Donna

    People always missed their chances of appreciating the game after all, it’s just a play.

  • http://twitter.com/tcmeister Tony Meister

    This got me thinking — “A lot of times, the game in front of us is the better game. We just haven’t learned how to play it well. Yet.” I’ve often struggled with how to let my creative side out since I’m engulfed in technology as a profession. I’m seeing with social media a venue and outlet for this creativity more and more and this concept of learning “how to play” the game in front of us really clarifies some things. Rarely do I not glean something from your posts Chris. Good stuff.

  • http://www.rasolved.com R. Anthony Solis

    I totally agree…

    I did this a few months ago. I finally became aware of what was available to me. I stopped trying to shape it and mold it to what I THOUGHT it should be. Once this happened, things started to fall into place.

    As for the others not understanding where or what my game is, they tend to lash out. They don’t understand the web and it’s opportunities.

    I’m enjoying learning this new game of a flexible schedule, great earning potential and the ability to work anywhere and anytime.

    ► Thanks Chris – needed this Broganism.

    RAS☺

  • http://www.linkedin.com/in/grimblazer Steven Ramirez

    Chris, this is interesting. The way I think about it is, there’s this whole other conversation going on and those who know what to listen for are in on it. Those who are new to a role and are not yet engrained in a culture, miss it. For me it essentially comes down to this: you must learn how to listen.

  • Anonymous

    What a great article, and a huge encouragement to me as some who is certainly new to the dance. Thank you, Chris, for sharing this…

  • luissandovaljr

    I wrote a really great topic piece today. So often we think the grass is greener on the other side without knowing the full picture. We never know how much someone sacrificed for something, how many long hours they worked to achieve something, it’s just easier to consider them “lucky” or “right place, place right time” folk.

    Everything we do is a game of sorts. Every challenge or task has rules, a way to get it done, and a victory to achieve when it’s done. Some tasks are larger than others, but like you said, there’s some games we play because it’s necessary, but there are many times that we have an opportunity to make our own game.

    Great job Chris, thanks for sharing your thoughts on this, I know I’ll be sharing this article with a few friends.

    -Luis

  • Anonymous

    A game without rules, a game with rules, and a game that is played by your rules?

    I like the latter. :)

  • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

    Always happy to resonate, Luis. You’re a hero of mine. Keep making the story more understandable.

  • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

    That’s always true. David Alston started seeing that at an event 2 years ago in a very specific and observable way. But that’s only ONE conversation.

  • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

    Keep dancing. It either gets better, or we stop making fun of you. : )

  • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

    Well, everything changes. That’s part of the game system, too.

  • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

    If you don’t think tech people are creative, you’re not trying hard enough. I drew pictures and made comics the whole time I was in IT. : ) ABOUT IT, no less. : )

  • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

    True, and they don’t see how important the passer or the 3rd base coach are, etc.

  • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

    You’re excellent for adding this. I’m so excited that you shared this view.

    I saw the movie. Quite a film, indeed.

  • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

    That’s indeed true. I meet amazingly successful people all of the time that I end up thinking are only what I see of them at that given moment.

  • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

    Thanks, Ivan, and you’re right.

  • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

    Oh, it will. : )

  • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

    Oh dear. Yes, you’re right. We covered that in the #3T call today. Someone asked about not trying for a mainstream book because Seth declared them dead. Er, um, I’m not Seth, and neither are you. Dead to SETH, not us.

    And thanks, Chris. You’d better not be following my trail, because I’m following you.

  • http://reallifemadman.blogspot.com Marjorie Clayman

    Figured you woulda seen it. It’s one of my faves.

    Thanks :)

  • http://www.kherize5.com Suzanne Vara

    Chris

    Growing up I wanted to be a nurse or physical therapist as they helped but also got to relate to people all the time. My older sister went on to be an oncology nurse so at least I was able to see her in action. My younger sister Nicole (oh sweet Nicole who has whole lot of stories for you) is a HS english teacher who has grammar and writing skills that make me look like a 2nd grader sometimes but I have learned by watching them and they have collectively served as role models in guiding me with my helping of people and writing skills.

    The time that everyone puts into their field of choice is not always seen clearly by others. The travel that folks like yourself do (which is time away from your friends and family) for the betterment of us does not go unnoticed.

    My game is developing. I see it as the coach who is putting together a new team and is watching the well equipped teams with seasoned vets and taking what they do and molding to to my team. I look around to see if someone is going to take over my game but then again if it is that good then it probably is worth taking. Motivation to find the path and get the game started I suppose.

    I do have to agree that sometimes the game in front of us is a better game and taking the time to really look at it could taking your game and moving it to a different league or conference. We do see where we end up doing better in the new league or conference which surprises us but yet empowers us to be even better. Maybe that is my competitive nature?

    You whine on FB? Hmh? I never thought of it that way. I thought you were just being real and like me sharing thoughts with friends. I find that people respond in a friend to friend manner and not a business to friend manner.

  • http://twitter.com/andreastenberg Andrea J. Stenberg

    Sometimes it’s hard to switch gears from the game you meant to play, the game you thought you were playing and the game in front of you. When I first started my business I had preconceived ideas about what I should be doing. However, other more interesting opportunities kept popping up. Finally I had to realize it was okay to leave behind what I thought I would be doing and accept these new opportunities that have turned out to be more fun and more lucrative.

  • http://www.TheDADvocateProject.com Anonymous

    Chris, Do you ever get stuck?You know you’ve completed the level but you still have to find the path you have to take to get you to the next level. Or maybe it’s just you have to wait 13 more days or so to get there.

  • http://www.webhostinglogic.com/web-marketing/web-marketing-home.html Seo Guru

    The games we play in life are the games we ought to win. No room to lose. But if we have to consider every work to be a game, we must like the work we do for if we are forced to do the work, we are not playing but is actually working but if you like the work, you are actually playing the game. That is the game of life I suppose.

  • http://www.reptileapartment.com John F Taylor

    Once again Chris, I am a parishioner at the Church of Brogan. Every post that you do I take something away from. Like yourself I wanted to write fiction when I began writing. Funny thing was I had already begun writing nonfiction for what is now my niche. I thought I wanted something else and my wife reminded me about what my truest passion was and is. I see the surface things you do and I want to do those things too. But as you say so eloquently I still have a lot to learn and understand and I have a list going of the things that are out not out there that I can provide to my readers and I see it. But I have kept my relationships that nudge me in the right direction and let go of those that do not. I love the game in front of me and I am moving daily to expand it into what it could be. But everyday I am learning to the play the game in front of me to its fullest potential. I can only pray that I will know when its time to switch but I believe those around me will nudge me when they see that I miss a move. Great piece Chris thanks again.

  • Rick Martens

    Growing up I wanted to design buildings and ended up drawing drainage plans and sewer lines instead. Now that I’ve reached “middle age” I’m attempting to coax the writer from within. Yet the “game in front of me” pays quite well but is sucking away my soul. Hmmmm…..
    Anyway, as always your writing inspires. Thank you sir. And thank you for your great work “Trust Agents.” I think I’m late to the party on that one, but enjoying it immensely nonetheless. All the best…..

  • Jill Rapley

    This reminds me of the Iceburg – 10% above the surface for all to see, and the 90% below the surface no one sees that is keeping the 10% afloat and stable. Thanks Chris!

  • http://www.socialmediaart.net Balal Naeem

    Great post.

  • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

    Oh, I get stuck sometimes. One way to find your way around that is to play lots of games simultaneously, because when you get forward on another game, you sometimes see a parallel or contrast that will get you to the new level on that other game.

  • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

    Oh, I get stuck sometimes. One way to find your way around that is to play lots of games simultaneously, because when you get forward on another game, you sometimes see a parallel or contrast that will get you to the new level on that other game.

  • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

    And that’s every bit the point of the post. You did it! : )

  • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

    And that’s every bit the point of the post. You did it! : )

  • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

    I think what’s neat about this is that your original idea of being a nurse carries over into your idea of being a coach. Both require a nurture skillset. Only, a coach does teams and assembles them into unified actors where a nurse only assembles one person at a time.

    Makes perfect sense. : )

  • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

    I think what’s neat about this is that your original idea of being a nurse carries over into your idea of being a coach. Both require a nurture skillset. Only, a coach does teams and assembles them into unified actors where a nurse only assembles one person at a time.

    Makes perfect sense. : )

  • http://www.TheDADvocateProject.com Anonymous

    So basically go play somewhere else and give me a chance to refocus. Thanks I think I might have been doing that unconsciously. I had better become more actively engaged in the other game so I don’t feel like I’m poising ground. I suppose that I also have to remember my own rules for leveling up so I’m not overly influenced by others.

    Thanks again.

  • Anonymous

    Great post Chris – nice Bobby Fisher reference. This is something I have been thinking about a ton. You are so right that people don’t see the full picture and thus they make assuptions and judgements without all the facts.

    I have been working for 10 years now and would have never guessed that I would have ended up where I have. I studied accounting in my undergrad and started out working for a big public accounting firm. When you realize you don’t want to be a partner you get out. So I got out and went into an accounting dept in a private company where I worked in that group for 5+ years. I wanted out of accounting. It was not creative enough for me. About this time I was finishing up my MBA. Then went on to run a startup within my business. That is where I discovered social media and found my passion. That startup failed but I learned way more from that failure than I would have from a success. Now I have been working on social media in the larger company and running some corporate operations initiatives.

    So why do I write all that? Because along the way there were lots of failures. Lots of stress. Lots of lessons learned. Growing up in the gaming era I have been thinking about this in a similar way as you. I look at this as in that I have to unlock certain levels before I can move forward. I could not control what levels I took on first. One led me to the next. I have been writing about my lessons learned from my startup because I will take on another one but I had to go through that experience to get that experience.

    Given my experiences I am ready to make my game also.

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    Did you see the basketball game last night?

  • http://findahandbags.com/ Coachbags

    Sometimes, we get these reversed. We think we want to play another game, and we think we have the wrong game in front of us.

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