The Importance of Saying No

If you want to improve your effectiveness and have more time to do what you feel most passionate about, learn to say no. The enemy of the great is the good. The road to Hell is paved with good intentions. Say it whatever way you want: the more you say yes, the less time you have to actually make good on all your commitments. Truthfully, can you deliver quality if you have no sense of where you should be devoting your time and effort? Here are some thoughts on common areas where we get bogged down in saying yes, and some tips on finding ways to say no.

Time Sucks

There are so many of these. First, how much TV do you watch? How much time do you surf and read blogs? How much time do you spend trying to stay up on the latest gadgets and web 2.0 software? How much gaming, online or off, are you doing?

I’ve determined that Instant Messenger is almost never productive to me. With a few exceptions, it’s almost always social. When I leave it off, I get more done. Ditto Skype. Ditto anything that wants a tiny chunk of my attention. (I know: you’re asking about Twitter. That’s a different kind of attention. I still control the timing on it). Be wary of time sucks.

Your Hobbies

It’s great to have hobbies. HOW MANY do you have? Are you finding lots of things you’re passionate about? Great, except that eats into your time, your money, and your ability to focus on the things you might really be passionate about.

This was a personal spot for a lot of work in my case. I had LOTS of hobbies. I’ve pared back a great deal. Some of the stuff, I miss doing, but not as much as I really enjoy having more time and money to put towards the other things I’m even more passionate about.

Busy Work

Want to reclaim time? Find ways to stop doing stupid, repetitive tasks and busy work. Learn shortcuts and hacks and secrets and tips to getting things done easier and more effectively. For example, come up with systems and habits for doing things like filing your expense reports promptly, paying your bills, and cleaning the house. And wherever you can, find ways to push work that isn’t productive or important down your list or off onto someone else’s list. Do you really need to do the tasks you’re doing at work? Is there someone else who could alleviate some of the effort?

Friends and Favors

One place where we spend a LOT of extra time in our lives is in saying yes to the many requests of our many friends. It’s never a good thing to be seen as unfriendly or unresponsive, and hey, they’re friends, so you should want to help them out when they come asking. Right? Sure, to a degree. But ask yourself these questions: is it mutual? Am I being hit for something over and over again, but when I ask for help, I get nothing? Do these favors eat up lots of little bits of time? Is this something that can wait?

It’s not that you want to say no to friends, but if you are finding yourself without time to do what matters most to your life, I’d consider looking in here to pick up a little extra time, resource, and energy.

Effectiveness

The return on your efforts of saying no is a direct improvement in your focus on the things that matter. You’ll have more time, more money, and a better chance to move things forward. Arguments about needing to mix it up are misguided. Sure you need variety in your life. Without experimentation, learning, and trying new things, life would be a gray place indeed. But just make sure you’re still moving towards your goals, and know when to cut distractions from your life. It will make a world of difference.

What’s your take?

Photo credit, LishaFisha

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Jason Pettus

Amen to this entry! I had two more thoughts concerning the subject as well that I thought I'd share:

1) Just a couple of weeks ago I decided to try an "all productive day," where I tried to skip all the things like television and screwing around online that all of us do throughout a typical day. I was really surprised to learn, in fact, how much of this kind of stuff takes up my typical day -- hours and hours sometimes, which I had never realized. You'd be surprised how much more you can get done just from simple things like turning off the TV if it's a rerun, etc.

2) As far as time-consuming but necessary busy work, I find that the old standby of grouping them all together can help tremendously; an uninterrupted block of an hour or two, I've found, can help with getting all such chores simply finished and over, versus them stretching on and on throughout the day (and looming in the back of your head, the more dangerous problem as far as time-management).

Lance Weber

When you do decide not to say no, leverage the power of the Limited Yes. Whenever possible, decide how much time you are willing to invest and then explicitly communicate that!

Example To Friend: "I can probably squeeze about four hours into helping you with your website, that should be enough to get you started".

Example To Self: "I'm going to read for one hour, then it's back to the salt mine."

The power of the Limited Yes versus the open-ended "Sure, I can help" is an amazing tool.

Chris Hambly

I learnt the power of "no" a long long time ago. Sure you will piss people off, sure you can be seen as black sheep material, but ultimately you'll have more food on your family's table. You can also look people square in the eyes if you say no when you genuinely feel it.

If you can't operate at your effective best, do not be a pawn, say no.

"they tried to make me go to rehab, I said no, no no" - Amy Winehouse

annie boccio

Great points about hobbies and busy work. I'm working on that now, simplifying and cutting back. I've prioritized personal projects I'd like to do so I'm doing one at a time, and if I don't get to the lower-priority ones, so be it. And guess what? I'm making much better progress with the ones at the top of the list.

I wrote on the topic of saying no here:
http://banannie.com/blog/2007/05/10/productivit...

fallenrogue

I say no as early and as often as possible. :)

Whitney

A wise friend once taught me the secret to this triage -Yes, it's Chris- Look at Calories In, Calories Out as a metaphor.
Do the projects and deal with friends where it's mutual- the people who make you feel energized, not drained. I'm willing to help friends as much as possible, with no real thought of return, but I am not an endless supply of time and energy either- depends on the request, and when it's asked.
Not all returns will be immediate- I don't look at friendships in ROI terms. I do look at evaluating things carefully with people who are needy, though, and we all know people like that. And it's why my secret kryptonite, my anti-superpower, if you will, is being shy about asking questions sometimes and overtaxing my already busy new media friends.

There's a ton of stuff you can easily outsource- Get kids to help with the laundry and household chores- even fetching hangers or matching socks. They love helping, and less work for you. Figure out if having the kid down the street mow the yard for $20 saves you time, energy and grief making it really worth the investment. There are tons of ways to outsource time drainers that have little emotional or psychic return.