The Optional World

January 7, 2009 · Comments

You don’t have to watch commercials on TV. You don’t need to participate in the sweepstakes. You can put your phone on the do not call registry. You’re not obligated to go out and buy my book. You don’t need to read my blog. You don’t have to follow me on Twitter.

Everything is optional. Everything is opt-in.

You (in this case, the consumer of things) has all the power. Use it wisely. Including, and here’s what’s on my mind today, the power to move on. If you don’t like something, move on. Forget about it. Talk about the thing you like. Why bother fixating on the things you don’t like?

One quick story and I’ll leave:

On my flight to Vegas, I sat next to a new friend from Maine, who worked at the Walmart distribution logistics center. He went on to talk about the millions each year that building paid his city in taxes, the 800 local jobs it supported, and how Walmart handled things during Hurricane Katrina. But what struck me was that I noticed that he watched my face intently the first time he said the word “Walmart” to see if I was a hater.

Every thing is an option.

Are you investing lots of energy into things you can move on from just as easily?

And you, marketer types, are you appreciating the relationship you have with the people who opt to receive your messaging, or are you beating them with it?

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  • I love the observation re: the Wally World conversation...

    We're going through opt-in processes even when we don't realize it, aren't we.
  • I agree. We have a choice. We don't have to. We choose to ...
  • Quite a thought provoking article Chris. I suppose that there are some things that are worth the effort to fix -- like a marriage, family, friendships -- but the great bulk of things that we spend time on are probably in this category.

    I guess we need wisdom to see what is worth hanging on to and what isn't. That is the tough part sometimes.
  • I like the succinct point you put on it at the end. If people have opted to receive our messages, we don't have to beat them over the head trying to convince them.

    Provide value rather than spending all your time trying to convince people that you ~will~ provide value in the future. They're ready for it, give it to them.
  • Poor guy has walmart-hater paranoia. He probably is afraid to tell anyone what he does
  • Never thought of it that way and it did open my eyes to a valuable lesson I can teach the kids of my school today. Thank you
  • Thanks for the reminder that our personal energy is ours to manifest, or squander, as we see fit. It's realizing when you're doing which that is sometimes the challenge. The age-old dilemma of non-attachment...

    You always make me look at the world a little differently than I did before I read your post... good work!
  • Great post and great reminder as to where and how we choose to respond and focus our energy!
  • Very valuable lesson here. Your twitter followers - optional. Your RSS subscribers - optional. Your email newsletter followers - optional. Your blog readers - optional. Treating these people as if you value the fact that they've chosen you - REQUIRED!

    (By the way, my husband used to be employed by Walmart in the distribution/logistics division. Part of your new friend's hesitation might have been to see if you've actually WORKED for Wally World. Trust me, there are no greater haters of Walmart than those whom they've employed.)
  • Great point at the end. Marketers don't realize that they have the privilege of people opting in - not a right. As a result, marketers should treat those that have opted in with respect and appreciation - not like idiots. Thanks Chris for great solid content as usual!
  • Excellent reminder Chris. Thank you for adding the practical business advice at the bottom too. Sometimes we lose perspective on what information is actually doing us good vs. holding us back.

    Cheers to making conscious choices!
    - Jennifer
  • You can't choose the cards, but you can choose how to play it. I believe it's a matter of personal choices. "The 7 habits of highly effective people" discussed this at length, but the look of the Wal-Mart certainly helped us make a wise choice :)
  • Right on the money. What we focus on, expands and intensifies. Life's too short to waste any time on things we do not love?

    It would've been ironic had your new friend worked for K-Mart instead of Walmart considering all that happened recently during the holidays. Maybe he knew who you were and all about that promotion and wondered what you'd think of Walkmart? Nah.

    Pai
  • I completely agree with this optional thing. The Motorcycle Safety Foundation has a saying: Ride your own ride. In motorcycles, as in life, it means don't trust the pack. They don't always have your best interest at heart or in mind.

    I try to live and work this way. I work with authors who always want to know how to "do it right." There isn't a 100% guaranteed plan. But there are options to try. Many authors are overwhelmed by social marketing. I tell them to pick what they find pleasing to do for the most success because they'll stick with it.

    As in life: Ride your own ride and keep the shiny side up.
  • I like you last point. As a magazine editor, I get really tired of being "beaten" with information, most of it completely irrelevant to my publication. The "I was just calling because you never replied to my e-mail (or e-mailing because you never returned my voicemail)" messages are quite annoying.
  • So true!! And I think people forget that DOING all this stuff is an option too, or at least the way you do it is an option. You don't HAVE to do Twitter, but if you think it's a smart idea, there's no one way to do it. You can be a chatterbox or you can have a few really great posts.

    I hear so many musicians complain about having to do ANOTHER online thing when they just want to be making music. My response to that is, your fans are online, so you do need an online presence, but you get to choose what that means. Doing a few things in a smart, targeted way is probably far more effective than haphazardly scattering your info across every new site that comes along. (Granted, some people like bouncing around all the sites, but that's what works for them, you don't have to do it just because they are.)
  • Chris,
    What I take away from todays post is: "the power to move on. If you don’t like something, move on. Forget about it."

    As I work to help hone my message, write a book, create a "Brand" and all that, I've taken some great turns and some not so great ones. Since I've been doing all of this online I'm making my successes AND MISTAKES more publicly. I've had to see that somethings not working and as you say "forget about it." I would add that whatever you opt in or opt out of, do it with intergrity.


    Thank you Chris,
    Rachel
  • Life is all about choices. When people complain about where they are (or are not) in their life I often think about that. We are a result of the choices (conscious and unconscious) we make. We choose where we spend our time, where we spend our money, who we associate with, etc.
  • Chris
    Interesting point you make - but one thing all us on-line marketeers have over looked is how to reach and include the digitally uninvolved. Those who believe they do not have access to a computer, those who struggle with the written word, dare I say, it but some of those on line also struggle (the "youtube" generation), those who feel that technology is moving too fast, who cant be bothered to find out about Twritter, Facebook, Myspace, or whatever - who only use the web when they want to buy something, or look up news on google or the BCC... how do we engage with them?
  • euonymous
    Chris, absolutely excellent point. It's all optional. As a marketer (or even a politician) we need to remember that this is a highly fragmented world where we are able to limit our attention to people we think we already agree with. This poses a challenge to marketers who strive to introduce new ideas and products. It all becomes a teaching exercise: know your target audience, know where they are and where you want them to be, then move them along a little bit at a time. Engaging the target audience was always a challenge, always will be.
  • Excellent advice Chris. We, as consumers, now live in an age when we have control of brands and it scares the holy living crap out of marketers. If a brand isn't giving us what we want, don't stress, move to a brand that will.

    Good Job Chris!
  • Chris, it's a great point you make. I consult with a company that approached their whole business model as salespeople because that's what they had done with a previously successful launch. They were hurting because they couldn't make the shift from pressure-pitching to allowing people to opt in. They are now adjusting their model, realizing that their influence will spread among enthusiasts rather than slaves.
  • Great Stuff, especially the part about marketing. I am in the restaurant industry and see way to many restaurants abuse their relationships with their followers.
  • I think there's something to be said about applying this lesson into all aspects of your life--not just marketing. Truth is, if you've got situations, relationships, employees, employers, projects, habits, etc. that are bringing you pain and frustration, YOU are the one in control. YOU can opt-out of it.
  • At what point does an evangelist lose his audience because, despite his energy, the listener doesn't connect with the message? We need to have conviction to our ideas, but we also need to be sensitive to where the ideas resonate. In business, the adage is that if you don't have any bad debt, you're not extending enough credit. Taken to the social media realm, it means you need to press your ideas but recognize that if you don't occasionally get a "no" (or cause someone to wince at your message), then you are possibly not selling strongly enough. It's all about finding the balance, which can and does change daily.
  • CMD
    All things optional? The first thing that came to my mind was - Where is the disclaimer? I completely agree with you [Chris] that we aren't obligated to anything in this life, save...this one little thing = suffering/enjoying the consequences of our actions/choices.

    Meaning, people don't have breath if they don't want to, but there are consequences for that. I really appreciate your leadership and insight in this post though (and I'm obviously not alone but,) to leave the worries, doubt, and fear behind. To get ride of the struggle and complaints is certainly a prescription I'll opt in on.
    thx
  • Nice observation. I tend to do this myself to see if people are haters of some things that I like or support. For me though, it is whether I need to persuade this person or if I could just give them the basic facts and not worry about anything because they already support what I do.
  • Excellent points all Chris! It comes back to being personally accountable. We hold the power to make the choices that will empower our success or hinder our achievements. What we do with our power really is up to us.

    Twice in 2008, I made the decision to "opt-out" of volunteer board commitments for reasons I'd don't need to bore people with here. What I wanted to share with people is once I realized that these things weren't working, that they were sucking up my precious energy, I knew I had to get out. My only regret. I waited too long to pull the trigger! There is a lesson there I'm sure.
  • Thanks for the reminder!
    I remember years and years ago when I was selling Tupperware on the side. My successful conversion conversation was "Tupperware is the cadillac of plastic - second to none. Tons of people use it, inventors even copy it but you don't have to buy it - after all it's just plastic!" After that speal people usually relax and buy more than they need:)
  • One thing that helps people "opt-in" is to build on trust. Walmart has had some large accusations which has damaged some people's ability to trust the large company.

    If you build a strong relationship of trust then people will be more than likely to "opt-in."
  • You're 100% correct Chris. It's terrible to me when I see website owners who oftentimes berate or "punish" followers and visitors via spam, hurtful comments, and other various methods. It's important to remember that our followers have chosen to listen, and can just as easily leave. We must treat them with respect - and they'll return the favor.
  • As one of those marketing types, I've found that Twitter is real-time reminder that we should and must appreciate our opt-in relationships. Abuse your circle once, lose them forever.
  • If anyone ever thinks my posts are only about marketing, aieeee. : )

    Some day, I'll share the Men's Health story.
  • Life is the sum of all your choices. ~Albert Camus
  • I would add that when someone has vehemently opted OUT of your brand or your message (as so many have with Wal-Mart), the best marketing choice you can make is to focus on those who are opted IN or have not opted either way yet- too many companies spin their wheels overcoming objections when it may be a small minority that objects. Focus on the customers that pay your bills, those that have already opted in.
  • I opt for not leaving a comment.
    Oh, I just did :)
  • We always want to add more and more to our lives. I like your point that everything is opt-in, which means maybe it's a good idea to CUT things out from time to time. I wish people did more of that.
  • good observation, i think im going to start observing more during conversations with people i bump into to see what type of signals they sending out with their facial expressions or body language

    I always felt like i get beated on by marketers who try to emboss a product or service into me, but lately, things have changed.

    good post Chris!
  • This whole world now is all about options, you nailed it. People today wants options, they want to be able to customize, they want to feel like you are doing everything you can for them, that they are your only customer. And why shouldn't they.
  • Michael Daniel
    In some ways I agree, our opt-in life is too short to be fixating on the stuff we hate... but what about the stuff we want to like, but can't because some part of the system (cable installer sleeping on a couch, super-box store with questionable employee-rights policies, super Christmas present for the kid that comes missing parts) is broken???
  • So true - I have the option of waking up early each morning and being more productive, but I just can't seem to drag my ass out of bed.
    I think what happens is, we start to believe that we don't have options and that we're stuck.
  • Chris, couldn't agree with you more. We need more positive energy in the world right now and what you've said here is a great reminder on how we can all do that. Aloha!
  • I think I may have to start watching faces every time I mention a certain company or brand to gauge reactions. While I realize that's not the main point of your post, it's a good idea!
  • Exactly! Choices are always synaptic. Pity not everyone is aware of this.

    Thanks for this post.

    On another note, I am a novice blogger having fun while learning, but it can get overwhelming at times, especially if you don't know what you're doing quite yet. Is there a book or convention that you would recommend? Much appreciated.
  • “…always keep in mind that a path is only a path; if he feels that he should not follow it, he must not stay with it under any conditions. His decision to keep on that path or to leave it must be free of fear or ambition. He must look at every path closely and deliberately....‘Does this path have a heart?'’”
    - Carlos Castaneda circa 1960
  • The Optional World certainly extends well beyond the parameters of any work environment. To wit...

    Here in Minneapolis, I constantly hear people bemoaning the cold of winter...the snow...the absolute horror of it all. "I am so sick of the cold...I have had it with shoveling snow...why do I live here?"

    Exactly. Why DO you live here? Living in Minnesota, one understands it's the Land of 10,000 Breeds of Mosquitoes in the summer -- snow, sleet and ice in the winter. If you have any issues with either extreme - and the winter complainers are generally the ones doing the same in the summer - you have a choice....you have an option...

    You can move.
  • Amy
    Great point. Taking responsibility for the path we take is key.

    thanks for this message.
  • Jim
    but what about fixing things (vs fixating?)... I bet if you showed signs of being a Wal*Mart hater, your fellow traveller would have tried to convince you otherwise (because he has commitment, passion, perseverance) - he wouldnt have just walked away from you (especially at 30,000ft).... maybe we should all opt in to a few of the things we can make better!!!
  • It's amazing how the Web is more about choices nowadays. People choose to subscribe or leave. Not only that, they not only choose from whom it come from, but in which format or channel they like.

    I think that sums up Web 2.0.
  • Lizz Harmon
    Chris, this is one of the most important blog posts I've read in a long time. In PR, we always teach that brevity is key. You said it succinctly, yet drove home your point. I love that "or are you beating them with it?" Impactful piece. Thank you.
  • Chris - nice post. Years ago when I worked at NutraSweet we had a PR ephiphany. Stop arguing with people about whether NutraSweet is safe or not - the science is crystal clear - and just say it is a choice. This changed everything.

    WalMart strikes me the same way. It is a choice. Everything we put our attention to is a choice. Choose the light!

    TO'B
  • Ron
    Yes, it is really hard when you are being successful with something, but there is a stigma around it.

    Walmart has a stigma

    MLM Products have a stigma

    Internet Marketers have a stigma

    Lawyers, IRS, City Government.....

    It is good that people can move on. It is sad when some people create a stigma that spoils it for other people that want to support something they like but are afraid to.
  • Great post, Chris. Especially the last tidbit about beating your opt in listers over the head. I always have a tough time with 'filtering' my intentions when sending out messages to my opt-in list. I always have to stop and ask myself what is the value - for them - not me. It's tough sometimes. thanks for the post.
  • We have recently been introduced to your presence through Doug Firebaugh...
    you are to the point, yet still from more than one view point and best of all, leads to thoughts and action...
    blessings
  • http://www.walmartmovie.com/

    Before I watched the film, I told myself, "well, it wont' tell me anything I don't know, and I doubt I'll stop shopping there" . . .

    then I saw it. haven't stepped foot in a Wal-mart since.

    your airplane buddy didn't tell you how many of their locations are NOT paying taxes in the cities they are building in.
  • I love Walmart!!!
  • Is google opt in? Are the cookies that track every movement opt in? Do you use web analytics on your blog? Is that opt in meaning I have to give you permission to see if I came to this blog? Somethings in life are opt in and others are not.

    And walking away is not always the right thing to do when you don't like something...sometimes you need to stand up and say this is wrong...
  • One thing that we try to do at our company is respect our opt-in subscribers to the nth degree. When they get email from us, it's important, exciting news, not spammy-spam-spam that clutters up their day. I consider each of our client's inboxes and patronage the same I would expect any business I frequent to look at mine: respect time, business and most of all, my inherent lack of desire to engage in any BS :)
  • I truly learned something new here and that is important to me. I have always tried to see who was on my payroll and what I was opting into...I miss lots of times, and then find recovery.
    Walmart employees are on my payroll for their real health insurance in my location and we pay lots of taxes to cover them - whereas poor children and military children just got canceled for their health care...so how do I opt out of Walmart and assist the children with real needs?

    If I follow Suze Orman's plan to not eat in a restaurant for a month, how do I help Juan or Matthew's local eateries stay in business?

    I see I need to build community around our architecture firm so that the local and state folks don't always turn to the big city and large firms for the best and greenest designs.

    So how do I get trial solar panels for my house? How do I get to review new wind powered home energy systems? and write a review...?
    I write about 40 book reviews a year and no one is paying me? Truly How do I do this? How do I prepare and educated myself and others?
    I want to know
  • Just bothered -

    You (in this case, the consumer of things) has all the power.

    should be

    You (.....) HAVE all the power.

    But interesting post still. Especially when it's posted by you. :)
  • Oooooh More great food for thought! This is probably why I'm currently on hiatus from my blog! Instead of 'beating people with it', I want to know what it is I can offer. Keep 'em coming back for something they cant get elsewhere. But what that is, I need to find out before I keep pumping more junk.

    Also: great idea for the new year in moving on from things that no longer serve you. Something, I find, that holds back too many people from achieving their potential.
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