The Power of Apology

Absolutely. That is the ONLY way to deal with it — as my dad would say, “Stand up and take it like a man.” LOL!! It’s painful, but people appreciate it and you probably end up looking better in the end than if the mistake had never happened. Good for you! And thanks for sharing; such great advice and so simple. If more people would just say, “Ooops, my bad. I’m sorry,” the world would be such a nicer place.

Apologies rock! And while I think a followup email was appropriate, I wonder about the hand-wringing and distress over it. I also have serious doubts about the sanity and civility and the pathetic lives of the people who got their panties in a wad over ONE errant email. Get a frigging life. Delete it and go on. If it happens regularly or is a hard sell you weren’t expecting, yeah – I can see wondering what the heck was going on. You didn’t say WHY the email might have been distressing to the 17,400 other readers, so I can’t really address the appropriateness or need for the apology. But it does raise the question about how arrogant many of us are becoming about “permission” marketing – about feeling offended and put upon by every little thing as though the world revolved around us.

I recently received several personal emails from a company that were obviously intended for an in-house person with my same first name. After the third email from the president about a meeting I was supposed to be attending I simply replied – “I’m sorry. I think you have the wrong Becky.” It took three emails because the first one was so generic I wondered if it was indeed a conference call (I’ve been on them before) I had inadvertently agreed to attend. But I didn’t froth at the mouth over my inbox being littered with an err.

I think you did the right thing, but some people need to get a life, get off their high-horse and find the delete button once in a while and worry about more important things.

Chris,

I people say they are sorry to often but this isn’t the same as apology. The word sorry just comes out of some peoples mouth without any meaning or thought behind it. It isn’t genuine. It’s exactly why I don’t make my kids say sorry. I encourage them to think of what they did, try to make up for it but they need to be genuine when they say “sorry”.

My babble has a point, I think you had meaning behind what your note of apology and thus this goes a long way. If you did this every week and sent another “note” saying you were sorry…I wouldn’t buy it. Apologies have to be worth their weight in gold and come from a place of meaning. Too many people say it just to get out of trouble or make someone feel better.

It’s too bad that one person was negative. It’s always best to admit when you’ve made a mistake and let others know of it. I think you did the right thing. It’s an easy mistake to make.

Chris,

I people say they are sorry to often but this isn’t the same as apology. The word sorry just comes out of some peoples mouth without any meaning or thought behind it. It isn’t genuine. It’s exactly why I don’t make my kids say sorry. I encourage them to think of what they did, try to make up for it but they need to be genuine when they say “sorry”.

My babble has a point, I think you had meaning behind what your note of apology and thus this goes a long way. If you did this every week and sent another “note” saying you were sorry…I wouldn’t buy it. Apologies have to be worth their weight in gold and come from a place of meaning. Too many people say it just to get out of trouble or make someone feel better.

It’s too bad that one person was negative. It’s always best to admit when you’ve made a mistake and let others know of it. I think you did the right thing. It’s an easy mistake to make.

it can be very hard to say ‘sorry’ sometimes and for some people it’s a word that they wouldn’t ever dream of saying..ever! because then they’d have to admit that they’d made a mistake and that would simply be ridiculous. I’m glad to say that I’m not one of those conceited human beings, it’s so much better to say ‘sorry’ as quickly as you can as long as it’s meant with genuine sincerity, people really appreciate that and react accordingly which is evident from the emails you received after you sent out your email to 17,600 people.

I take my hat off to you for doing so and I don’t even wear a hat!

No one or company is perfect. We sent out an important company announcemnet once somehow the name Eileen (I think that was the name) was on every email. We felt terrible, but most people found it funny and brought it to our attention to be helpful.

Like many have said earlier, sincerity goes a long way…..and most of your followers know you are sincere.

I think a sincere apology goes a long way. If only one person out of over 17,600 people sent a nasty reply then that’s a very good ratio. I believe in the power of those two words, “I’m sorry.” It’s so much better to own up to an error than to make excuses. I think you are human and that makes me and probably many others want to interact with you!

I think an apology goes a long way because fundamentally, it shows that you can admit your mistakes. It is taking a proactive approach and addressing your vulnerability. People do appreciate apologies, even if they don’t like to admit it. When most people make a mistake, they’re scared to face the same people or to concede that they did anything wrong. The ones who don’t forgive apologies are probably the same ones who have trouble apologizing themselves.

Hi Chris,

As there is a liberating feeling with forgiveness, there is also a freeing release when issuing an apology — at least a sincere one.

I think everyone in business has inadvertently hit an email submit button, sent a message to the wrong party, or even created an email message that did not reflect an intended tone.

I’m so sorry that you experienced distress with your error but I’m glad that a happy ending materialized. Your idea to apologize was the right call as a simple “I’m sorry” has potential “healing powers.” :)

Best Regards,
Andy Lax

As honesty is (almost) always the best policy, so “sorry” is often the best balm. I think it’s important that the apology be direct, personal, and TIMELY. There’s nothing worse than saying “sorry” a day late and a dollar short – really takes the impact out of even the best intention. Kudos to you for nailing it (as usual).
;)

Who among us has not felt the heart-gripping fear as you hit send only to realize the recipient (or recipient list!) was not correct? Thanks for sharing this Chris- it’s a great end to what could have been a total disaster, and serves as an example of just how far honesty, accountability and transparency can go in marketing.

Best,
Nikkole

I always think more of someone if they acknowledge their actions and admit when they go awry. How can you fault someone who doesn’t avoid tough circumstances.

I know if an e-mail from you showed up in my in box I would never feel like it was spam. I can’t imagine that anyone following you would think you would spam them. I truly enjoy your posts each day and am learning quite a bit. Thanks.

Great move Chris. We are all humans after all and what you did was reach out as a human and acknowledged the mistake. This is another reason why I read your blog, you have integrity and it is refreshing.

Cheers,

Michael

Chris…yes I too have made a similar fopah…and then sent out an apology…mistakes do happen and hopefully our “tribe” of friends, followers, subscribers, clients understand and realize they too could one day make a similar mistake.
But being “apologetic” is what changes the rhythm because although they may have received the first email and said “I can’t believe he sent me this” or “how dumb is this”, once they get that email of apology, all previous thoughts dissipate into thin air…and you are still the Leader of the pack…friend, associate or Tribal leader…earning back the place once again in their hearts!
Best regards, David

Nice stunt. What you wouldn’t do to create a blog post idea….

J/K

-Steve

Having learned this lesson the hard way myself, I have found that it’s almost always better to get out in front of a problem by by addressing it directly though the communicating of your sincere thoughts and feelings than to hide from the problem and let people draw their own (usually wrong) conclusions.

I’m not talking about just lip service like celebrities, who when caught in some heinous or egregious indiscretion, “accept responsibility” with crocodile tears and then sweep it under the rug by going into “rehab”.

The communication of your genuine thoughts and feelings without the follow through of further responsible action is no better than hiding in the first place.

Of course, this is just my opinion and your mileage may vary.

I think it’s important to apologize when the situation calls for it. We are all human and make mistakes. If someone does not receive your sincere apology with grace, it gives you a good clue into his or her character.

A tip about emails – write your message and subject line, then fill in the to, cc and bcc fields last.

Chris, thank you for sharing.
And thank you for bringing up the topic of apology.
I’ve done some research on apology and that is what I found.
People usually expect an apology after:
- a reckless action that hurt sombody
- negative consequences of something insensitive that someone said or did
- an innocent error that was promptly corrected
When apologizing for an error, the effectiveness of an apology increases if a person apologizes for an error itself and for a failure to correct it promptly. And, of course, timing matters too. You did the right thing!
There are different ways to measure the effectiveness of an apology. I personally find helpful the following models: 1) http://www.taftsolutions.com/theory.html by Lee Taft and 2) http://www.e911.com/expertCommentariesPopup.htm by Jim Lukaszewski
If you interested in apology theory, you can get more info in a blog post I did couple of weeks ago:(http://logosinstitute.net/blog/2009/03/11/on-apology/).
Once again, thank you for sharing!

I wish more people approached mending their errors like this! Well done. Funny, 2 seconds before I saw this post I was reading Jeremiah Owyang’s apology for blogging in haste (without all the details) to Mzinga.

We all make mistakes; NOT owning up to them, NOT facing them head on and NOT doing what you can to rectify them is just a series of more mistakes.

YES YES YES!
3 months ago, my gmail was hijacked and all my contacts (nowhere near as many as 17.500 but still) were emailed a VERY heinous dire emergency plea for money…from me, saying I’d been kidnapped and was being held hostage in Western Africa and in order to ‘save’ me I needed x funds wired to x account.
Now anyone who’s often on email would have detected the spam like symbols. The language was very formal and yet broken English, the intro was a ‘dear sir or madame’ and I never speak that way. And further, if I’d been desperate for money, most people know I wouldn’t have sent a massive email out. I would have contacted a few who’d be able to get the job done within 24 hours. I felt embarrassed that it happened, concerned for all the emails I received inquiring about my safety, and like a web baffoon for screwing up folks’ days this way.
Gmail was good in that it restored my inaccessible account (while the spam email went to my contact list, it also froze up my own ability to access my email).
I already had set up a 2nd email account attached to my url. So I emailed as many folks as I could based on memory of their email addresses (duh, another lesson learned, I hadn’t saved my contacts to my address book).
I put a message on facebook giving all a heads up.
I dm tweeted all my then contacts on twitter what happened. You actually responded–not sure if you recall–when I inquired if anyone knew how to unfreeze a gmail account.
Further, I asked folks who I knew had access to many of my contacts’ emails to email me at my new email address and sent personal apologies to over 200 folks.
I wrote about it on BlogHer.
I posted a post on my blog “What to do if your email is hijacked.”
Embarrassed?
You betcha.
But more to the point, I want folks to not make the same mistake.

I’d apologize over and over again if this ever happens again.

Thanks for your post, your admittance on what happened, and the inquiry if this happened to others.

We can all do our best, and then it’s comforting to know that when crap happens, there’s an understanding community out there with whom we’ve already established trust.

Be well and til the next fairy meeting! :)

Been there, done that (more than once), and asked for forgiveness every time. Occasionally, there are those who have nothing better to do than take offense and get huffy-puffy, but for the most part, people are willing to let it slide.

Sometimes I think the reaction to an apology has more to do with what the recipient thought of you independent of indiscretion (versus the quality of the apology). You probably got that favorable feedback in light of what your audience thought of you overall. If you were a dirtbag, I’m sure the replies to your apology would have had a different tenor.

Try that same mistake to a bunch of lawyers. Not so fun.

Hi Chris,

I may have missed it in responses to the comments, and if so, I *apologise*, but can you include the apology – since it’s the subject of your post! It would be great to see the successful apology you sent out.

Many thanks
Nada