We’re Not Always Superheroes

ps...your blog rocks

oh Chris, this post just got me, as I'm struggling out the door with bags, computer, backpacks and my son can't get his boots on right, cursing and slamming doors, only to then take a deep breath and apologize to my little crew. It is a huge day in our country, and for now I am taking light of it and letting the other stuff go...

Saying sorry, trying to offer a solution or make things right, and giving at least one compliment a day even to a complete stranger should be something people do eveyday. It will boost self-esteem and the smile you receive back will be the reward.

I agree with Lisa and Beth.

I do my best, but sometimes errors happen - I make a sincere apology, try to make things right and move on. If I lose the client, it is out of my control - life is too short to hang on to things out of one's control.

The sad part is that sometimes those "mistakes" cost us a customer or (in my case), a job.

Mistakes are the best teachers

This is a very timely post - I discovered this morning that a business we partner with jumped the gun on an announcement and sent it out prematurely, leaving me and my organization with egg on our faces because it had not been approved and the appropriate Legal disclaimers had not been included. The person who made the mistake promptly called, apologized, and suggested how he might fix the situation. I was impressed with his attitude, his apology, and the way he took responsibility for what happened. This person has risen in my estimation despite the mistake.

I probably say I am sorry more in the last few years than the 42 before it. I think its a sign of humility and shows your charachter. I try not to make mistakes to avoid saying these words but nobody is infoulable. The key is to identify what went wrong and develop practical solutions.

If you are not messing up- you ar e not making progress. And if you mess up- then simply say "My fault- I am sorry"- and move on. But I do not know one executive, worker, or entrepreneur that is making great gains- that doee not mess up. BUT- you must be willing to to mess up ocassionally to go up - and go beyond where you are now. Plus mistakes are free schooling- like them or not- but they can educate you very quickly. Mistakes are the driving force behind success education--bravo Chris!

I hardly have a problem apologizing to a customer when I'm in the wrong. Arguing over who's right or wrong over email or phone usually doesn't work. Instead, I put on my humble cape and make an honest effort to right the wrong with the customer. And then the cool part comes: the customer puts on their humble cape too and is willing to work out a solution with me. So, to me, being a superhero can be a two-way street.

Reading this post reminded me of the Baz Luhrmann song, "Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen": http://blip.fm/~1mh4j

Karma. You mean well, but you don't always make the right decision for the business (or for life).

When I make mistakes, I make it known to those I effected that I messed up and have learned a lesson out of it. I then try to fix it.

Mistakes aren't valuable if you don't learn from it and don't take action to fix it (if possible).

Acknowledge that and move on.

In my experience if your honest and sincere this goes better with you. Its just one of those things, be real.

@Ricardo,
It's also important to demonstrate though that the action which you say that you intend to take has been. Implementation and subsequent demonstration highlights that you value them as a customer, and that you are sincere in your word. I fear many organisations are quick to apologize and 'discuss' a solution, but slow in the implementation thereof. Failure to adequately satisfy the customer following the discussion of their concerns will produce a more detrimental outcome than would have been the case if no attempt to address the issue had been made.

TLR

If I make a mistake (and it happens. I mean hey, we're only human right?!), I'm quick to apologize and offer a solution. "This is what I did wrong, and here's how I'm going to fix it."

It was something I picked up from a client a long time ago. I made a mistake and she called me on it. She said something to the effect of: "Look Ricardo. It's ok. If you did something wrong. Don't worry about it. Just tell me what you're going to do to fix it and we're good. Deal?" I appreciated her for that. She stuck with me, and taught me something about managing situations. No issue is too big to deal with. Just step up, admit your mistake (we all make mistakes) and address how you're going to rectify the situation.

Chris,
Personally, I feel that the apology is secondary to the action which you take as a direct response to the issue at fault. Whilst aggrieved customers need to have an apology following a service failure, it is the action which you then take that is of critical importance.

Let's not get too caught up in the words here, Chris. It is implementing appropriate action to guarantee as far as is possible that the problem will not reoccur in the future which will truly influence repeat customer purchase decisions. We are all human and we are all fallible. It is learning from these mistakes that allows us to grow and to develop.

TLR

Think back...to kindergarten.
How many times did 'situations' go to the teacher if you said I'm sorry to whomever you were playing with?
How many times did the teacher come to whomever's rescue when there were no apologies?
Robert Fulgham's All I Ever Really Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten just came to mind as I read your post.
Apologizing works.
It builds a bridge and shows a level of humanity that 'the other'(whether client, boss, friend, partner, whomever) may need to see, and I'd risk this: EVEN when your own ego knows you're not wrong.
But especially when you are, you betcha saying it enables you both to come to the next decision: do we care enough to move together forward.
Relationships are journies that continue to the degree each party is willing to trust and go deeper. Apologies allow for vulnerabilities to be accepted and hearts to mend. They go a long way.
It's not so difficult if our investment in the other is truly for the long haul.
Cool post. Thank ya much. :)

Personally, I think saying you're sorry means nothing. Failing does not mean you should be sorry.

Culturally, we have some weird aversion to failure, but failure is how we learn.

More important, nothing, and I mean NOTHING, of value is ever achieved without risk. And risk means failure far more often than success. Business needs to institutionalize ways to reward those who are willing to fail in the pursuit of something great, because it is these risk takers who push the business. Those who don't take chances are worth very little.

Jeff
www.cerebellumblues.com

Oh, come now Chris Brogan. We all know I'm a superhero...and a rockstar!

Rock on man.

Seriously though...excellent post. Too true though. Even us super special, super powered folks make mistakes and days just don't go our way, but we gotta keep truckin. There's just no other way in this economy. If you say the heck with it...and give in to all the bad stuff, then you're left with even less than the nothing you began with because at least, you had nothing + a whole lot of hope. If you give in then you have nothing and you're hopeless.

If you can rectify the situation with a simple apology then why not? Life's too short for grudges and stubborness, even if I am the most stubborn of the stubborns. If it affects my business I'm willing to go the extra mile for my own benefit, as well as the benefit of others.

yeah, 'sorry' probably is the most versatile word

Some people say sorry too much.

But in general, they rarely end up in the situations you described (except for the personal one). I think too much apology can be a detriment.

But in high-power situations, repentance is definitely a under-appreciated trait.

On this I'll say you're wrong, sir. It is exactly during those times, those trials when everything IS going wrong that you find out who has the superhero powers - the greatest one of which is to keep going in the face of adversity. The worst of times can and should bring out the best in us.

What makes superheroes great is that they have powers that would corrupt a normal person. They manage, even with incredible power and temptation, to stay true to what they believe in. Superman could rule the world easily but chooses not to.

It's easy to look like a hero when life is good, the economy is sound, the world is sprinting. It's when all the above is opposite that you can truly shine.

We are always superheroes. We are always great. Whether we choose to live up to our potential is up to us.

I actually had a whole personal confessional going here: http://www.personal.psu.edu/lnm105/blogs/cleart... It felt good to admit them.

I think sometimes we set our expectations so high that they are constantly disappointing themselves. We are all humans, so I agree just apologise and move one!

the person i seem to be disappointing lately is myself. i'm realizing that if i expect the world to have a certain view of me, i have to work on MY view of me.

With a post like that you may just be a superheroe. It is this type of a post that gains respect from those who may wonder what you are really all about. Phony people just don't post material like this. Thank you for the inspiration.

Here is to you and yours Chris I hope this is a great year for your teamò.

William

Chris,

Found myself having to say I was sorry to a client two weeks ago. The cool part of being embarrassed by my mistake was that my apology allowed me to keep the client.

Humility in the face of our failures makes us better people.

Thanks for reminding us!

Dave

Chris, true that.
It would be nice to have super-powers but alas we are only human.
As a Canadian I imagine I say sorry quite a bit.
There's nothing wrong with apologizing as long as you're wrong.

Don't fall into that old trap "Would you rather be happy or right?"

Just so you can say sorry to be diplomatic rather than stand your ground.
Diplomatically.

I think you earn a lot of respect from your customers when you own up to a mistake and then make it right. You can loose customers forever if you mess up and try to brush it under the rug and deny any wrong doing. To err is human, take it in stride, customers will understand.

Matt