April 10, 2011 39 Comments

Thoughts Thought at 41

Chris Brogan at 41

This post is apropos of nothing. I’m 41 as of a handful of days ago. I just wanted to write down some thoughts for posterity. The blog still has my name on it, so I can do that.

Success, Such as It Is

Sitting here at 41, I am successful by most people’s measure. I have a loving family, smart kids, interesting friends, a successful (and profitable) job (or 3), a New York Times bestselling book, and some reasonable level of health. I support some great charities. I drive my dream car. I read books that I love. I get out to the movies once a week (my little secret pet pleasure: movies). I travel the world (not always sexy, the travel part, but I *do* get to go to nice places).

By most people’s measures, that’s success. Mine, too, but I can’t allow myself to think that way. If you’re successful and feel successful, what happens to ambition.

Ambition and What Will Be

I’m driven by ambition. I know this because success doesn’t ever seem to quell that hunger. The day that Julien and I hit the bestseller list, we both felt good for what might have been five minutes. Then? I wanted to hit some other milestone. It was almost immediate. Groucho Marx said he never wanted to belong to a club that would have him. It felt kind of like that, to me.

This is probably a flaw. Ambition isn’t something that has a finish line. It has no satisfaction point. That’s the point. Ambition just keeps pushing people forward, whether or not it’s useful. Ambition is the disease of “it’s never enough.” It seems useful, because it drives you professionally, but it’s also a bit of a big empty hole.

And Yet

Ambition is what will drive me to build out my goals for Human Business Works. The company’s goal is to help people grow their capabilities. I want to help people take their unique spark inside of themselves and build businesses that they love and nourish. Ambition is why I still work closely with Stephen Saber and Nick Saber on The Pulse Network and what we think is a big idea. So, I can’t fault it too badly. I just have to pay close attention to how I use it.

What Comes Next?

I’m still a bit foggy about what comes next. I started the year with one vision, and I think I’m midway through readjusting it. I bit off quite a lot in 2011, partly because that’s how I learn. I lab things. I test them out. And then I take what works and move it forward.

Between now and next April, what will happen? I guess I’d better make sure I know.

And Thanks

As always, you take too little credit in all of this. What you do for me is what drives me forward. What you accomplish with what I share is what makes me eager to share more. I’m not doing this all for my own entertainment, amigos. That’s for sure.

So thank you. And stay tuned.

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  • http://www.margieclayman.com Marjorie Clayman

    I like birthdays much better than New Years because you can really make reflections particular to you.

    Hope you had a faboo birthday. You most surely deserve it, goll durn it! :)

    • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

      Well thanks. : ) And yes, it’s more a personal thing, I guess. Never really thought of that.

  • http://thoughtsaboutnothing.com @kylereed

    I heard someone say this once…
    “If the grass is greener on the other side, then add some more water to yours”

    Ambition seems to be the very thing that propels us forward, I just have to make sure that my ambition is not about recognition and fame and more about passion and helping others. It is very easy to mix those up.

    • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

      Good way to view it, Kyle. Thanks for your thoughts. : )

    • Susie Milligan

      I heard someone say this once…
      “If the grass is greener on the other side, then add some more water to yours”

      Great quote, and great advice too, Kyle.

  • http://dukeo.com Dukeo

    Happy birthday Chris (a little late).

    I find this post very inspiring regarding ambition. I consider myself being driven by ambition too but it’s sometimes as much a curse as a blessing since you’re never totally fulfilled with what you have reached so far…

  • http://www.guerreroink.com Guerrero Ink

    Hmm, I am driven too but I’d have to say that I am propelled by passion rather than ambition. I do have goals and aspirations but ambition in the traditional sense of the word, don’t think that is the one I would use.

    I remember a day where I was so content, I thought life was good…and people got disturbed by my using the term, “content.” Beats the alternative! Why does that one day stand out? It was a feeling of calm, realizing I set my own schedule and was accountable to only myself and on my path.

    Over time my perspective changes now and again but, as Burton Hills communicated so well: “Happiness is not a destination. It is a method of life.”

  • http://scrapsofmygeeklife.com scrappinmichele

    I never thought about it that way. I always felt like i wasn’t happy with what I had because I always wanted more. I chose to look at that as a flaw and it bugged me. But you are right, it’s that very flaw that keeps me getting up every morning to continue striving for more. Thanks for opening my eyes to a new way of thinking these thoughtts (for me it is at 43).

  • http://gotinterviews.com Brian

    Hey Chris, Happy belated birthday. Hope your day was a special one. I am inspired by you. I was trying to get some work done this morning and stopped just for a moment to see what you’re up to. Thanks again for your words of wisdom.

  • http://twitter.com/susangiurleo susangiurleo

    Ambition is good only as are passion, curiosity and optimism. And you seem to possess all 4 qualities in good measure. What you describe in your “and yet” paragraph is not blind ambition – it’s a drive to contribute, teach, collaborate on things of importance.

    No pressure, but I think you have lots more important stuff to bring into the world,so that ambition is going to serve you well! : )

    Wishing you a super 41st year!

  • http://twitter.com/BrandiSchoch Brandi Schoch

    Happy birthday i’ve turned 38 this year and it has been a year of big change for me. I find that I like myself more and more the older I become.

  • http://www.jasonleister.com Jason Leister

    Congrats on 41 Chris. From the outside, it doesn’t seem like ambition. It seems like an intense desire to be valuable to the world.

    Here’s to 42 :)

  • http://www.thejackb.com/ The JackB

    I’ll be 42 in a few weeks so I feel entitled to share one special thing about 41 with you- you are a prime number now. Beyond that I can’t think of any special privileges that come with it. You can vote, drink and run for president already.

    But then again the most important thing about 41 is how you feel about it.

  • http://www.virtuallin.com/ virtuallin

    What makes you important to people and why we follow you is this; your ambition is NOT rooted at trying to prove how awesome you are, how smart you are and how important you are. Your ambition is rooted in getting better and helping us to realize that we, too can get better. We have no set capacity, no set limit and the autonomy to choose our direction.

    I realize this even more after reading a fantastic book; Success: How We Can Reach Our Goals by Heidi Grant Halverson. She’s a research psychologist and her book is probably already on your shelf. She includes countless studies that back up her findings and the book details how to improve goal setting, how you think and how to improve across the board.

    Happy Birthday! I just want to say thank you for all that you do. I have seen concrete, measurable results in my life and business by absorbing all that you share here. I’ve followed you for the last four years and I’m confident you’ve barely touched the surface of your potential to engage and change lives and you’ll reach many, many more in the many years to come!

  • Susie Milligan (savannahsues)

    _______________________________________________________

    Congratulations Chris…You are now Old Enough to ‘Get’ This. Filling that hole is neverending and never satisfying.
    A man who has a loving family is more sucessful than his wildest dreams.

    ________________________________________________________

  • http://www.kherize5.com Suzanne Vara

    Chris

    What will happen between now and next April – unknown for the most part. You can plan on this and then that happens so this gets put to the side. You by many peoples standards are successful but then that is their thoughts and not yours. There is that little voice inside of so many of us that will acknowledge that they have hit the point (a goal) and then immediately build upon that goal. For others they reach the goal and work to maintain it. I am not a fan of the plateau. I like to aim higher and higher (sometimes not focusing on the now) as if not, I feel like I am just backpedaling or spinning my wheels.

    Things happen at the right time and for the right reason. Sadly so many times this is out of our control. You had some very aggressive goals and ideas for 2011 and some went off with out a hitch and others well, they need a bit more time to mature, some massaging or abandonment. You have opened yourself up to the opportunity and I think that opportunity leads to the ambition. Heck not many of us know where we will be by the time our next birthday rolls around but if we are open and allow the opportunity to flow in, we are definitely going to be somewhere different than where we were this birthday.

    Now, it is time that we stop time and you catch up to me at 42. At least then you would know where you would be at 42.

    Hope you had a birthday filled with family and friends. Those are the best. I have retired the vocal cords for another year. Shew!

  • http://pickingdaisiesinpurgatory.com/ Colleen Clifford

    Hey – happy birthday!

    I always enjoy your posts, but what particularly grabbed me in this one is that you listed family, kids and friends above all else in your listing of “successes.” I think if more of us were grounded in those things we’d have more energy for successes elsewhere as well. :)

    Keep up the great connections, keep up the great work, and enjoy another exciting journey around the sun!

  • http://urgentessays.co.uk/ essay writing

    very good article and very nice photo on the top) so smiling)))) i find this post quite useful. there some point that i’ve never thought about and didnt pay attention to some questions which you raised here) so it is a little thought-provoking for me) thanks a lot)

  • http://twitter.com/blindlylefilms blindlylefilms

    Happy Birthday Chris,

    41 is a pretty good age to be.

    Being 41 as well, I too feel very fortunate in my life. As you mention, it is all about the quality of the life that you enjoy because after all, this is all we get. We make decisions that we think are best for us but sometimes we get distracted by the wrong things.

    Having time to enjoy the things that are most important to us in our life is the most valuable thing we can take away from your article.

    Keep living the dream and helping others get there.

    Adam Cohen
    Producer
    Blind Lyle Films

  • http://twitter.com/AliciaSanera Alicia Arenas

    Happy birthday Chris!

    If you define success as helping people find the spark within themselves and build businesses, they love and nourish – you’re hugely successful. You’ve touched many lives! You teach people every day how to become better at what they do. You’ve shared lessons you’ve learned the hard way. And your generosity of spirit is what has impressed me the most about you. It’s rare to find someone with “rock star” status who takes the time to listen and care.

    I hope this next year brings you aas many blessings as you’ve given to others.

    Hugs ~ Alicia

  • http://twitter.com/AliciaSanera Alicia Arenas

    Happy birthday Chris!

    If you define success as helping people find the spark within themselves and build businesses, they love and nourish – you’re hugely successful. You’ve touched many lives! You teach people every day how to become better at what they do. You’ve shared lessons you’ve learned the hard way. And your generosity of spirit is what has impressed me the most about you. It’s rare to find someone with “rock star” status who takes the time to listen and care.

    I hope this next year brings you aas many blessings as you’ve given to others.

    Hugs ~ Alicia

  • Anonymous

    I thought you were about half my age when I first started following you, and somehow confirmed that in my mind, and moved on. To find out you’re only half a generation younger than myself gives me hope that I can accomplish all my goals before the doctor says I’m no longer alive. Of course, I’ve passed that milestone already.

    Doctors. What do they know? ;)

    Happy Belated, Dude.

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  • Vangile

    Happy Birthday Chris. Great post. I just turned 28 and have spent the last week obsessing about whether my dreams are my own or what I think others want of me. Reading this post reminded me that we are always becoming – if you achieve one thing it does not mean you have to stop dreaming and stop reaching.

  • http://www.davidwilliams.org Dave Williams

    Happy birthday. You’ve got a few years on me but have done very well by the sounds. Hopefully I’ve accomplished even a few of the things you have by your age. There are so many things we can be thankful for in life. If we’re blessed enough to be typing comments like this on a computer then we are doing very well in the big scheme of things.

  • http://ajleon.me ajleon

    Chris, there is an entire generation of people who are doing things now that they would not have done if it weren’t for you. The world is a better place because you are in it. Thanks for everything, bud. Hope you had a great birthday. :)

  • http://ajleon.me ajleon

    Chris, there is an entire generation of people who are doing things now that they would not have done if it weren’t for you. The world is a better place because you are in it. Thanks for everything, bud. Hope you had a great birthday. :)

  • http://www.TheDADvocateProject.com Anonymous

    Chris, Happy belated birthday. I always appreciate your thoughts. They validate that i’m not as crazy as I sometimes think i might be. There are not enough big thinkers in the world and while I can’t claim to be a big achiever yet, i’m on my way an you really do validate my thinking. You have 5 years on me still and I’m truly hopeful that by the time I reachh 41 I can claim as much success. I’m happy to say that I
    m my way and you are one of the factors. Thank you for all you do and for letting us be part of it.

  • http://www.TheDADvocateProject.com Anonymous

    Chris, Happy belated birthday. I always appreciate your thoughts. They validate that i’m not as crazy as I sometimes think i might be. There are not enough big thinkers in the world and while I can’t claim to be a big achiever yet, i’m on my way an you really do validate my thinking. You have 5 years on me still and I’m truly hopeful that by the time I reachh 41 I can claim as much success. I’m happy to say that I
    m my way and you are one of the factors. Thank you for all you do and for letting us be part of it.

  • http://opencrm.co.uk Thomas Chapman

    Happy birthday!
    A great post, I too feel that ambition is a double-edged sword. It drives and motivates and pushes, but at times it can be relentless! Each success tends to be soon followed by the next milestone out on the horizon.

    I love being driven by ambition, and it pushes me to work on various projects at any one time. On occasion I need to have a brake applied (usually by someone else) to take out the impossible targets and free up time for ambition worth pursuing.

  • http://opencrm.co.uk Thomas Chapman

    Happy birthday!
    A great post, I too feel that ambition is a double-edged sword. It drives and motivates and pushes, but at times it can be relentless! Each success tends to be soon followed by the next milestone out on the horizon.

    I love being driven by ambition, and it pushes me to work on various projects at any one time. On occasion I need to have a brake applied (usually by someone else) to take out the impossible targets and free up time for ambition worth pursuing.

  • http://opencrm.co.uk Thomas Chapman

    Happy birthday!
    A great post, I too feel that ambition is a double-edged sword. It drives and motivates and pushes, but at times it can be relentless! Each success tends to be soon followed by the next milestone out on the horizon.

    I love being driven by ambition, and it pushes me to work on various projects at any one time. On occasion I need to have a brake applied (usually by someone else) to take out the impossible targets and free up time for ambition worth pursuing.

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  • Robin Reid

    Happy Birthday, Chris.

    The hunger is not for success, but for the process. It is about the trip, so to speak, not the destination. The destination is just the reason to take the trip, which is where the real juice is.

    Ambition is about the destination.
    From Latin the meaning is “eager or inordinate desire of honor or preferment.”

    You are all about the Quest, the exploration of possibilities, and when you write about it you inspire others to follow their own curiosity.

    “And the end of all our exploring
    Will be to arrive where we started
    And know the place for the first time” TS Eliot

    And we never get it done! That is the good part for us Explorers.

  • http://successbeginstoday.org/wordpress John Richardson

    In 8 1/2 years you’ll have an AARP card. Enjoy the journey. You’re just getting started!

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  • http://real-estate-services.longandfoster.com/Home-Warranty/Warranty.aspx HMS Home Warranty

    I always appreciate your thoughts. They validate that i’m not as crazy as I sometimes think i might be. There are not enough big thinkers in the world and while I can’t claim to be a big achiever yet, i’m on my way an you really do validate my thinking. You have 5 years on me still .

  • VickiKunkel

    Belated Happy Birthday. You and your talents are truly a gift to those of us who hunger for “big ideas” and “great thinkers.”

    Many happy returns! :)

  • VickiKunkel

    Belated Happy Birthday. You and your talents are truly a gift to those of us who hunger for “big ideas” and “great thinkers.”

    Many happy returns! :)