7 Ways to Bore the Hell Out of People

7 seems like a great number I was looking at the news flow stream thing on LinkedIn just now. Don’t ask. But you know, I thought I’d see if anything was worth my time. I found that pretty much every post fell into two categories: “go to my thing” or “read my bland and boring article.” So, a fun idea came to mind.

7 Ways to Bore the Hell Out of People

  1. Use graphics everyone else would use. Especially people in suits or weird stick men and dollar signs.
  2. Make sure you use a number in the post title, unless it’s an event. Then just say “new event” or “premier event” or “save your seat.”
  3. Use bombastic titles and claims like, “The most outrageous ___ you’ll ever see, and that’s not the half of it!”
  4. Make splelling errors. Ltso of them.
  5. Write the same post as someone else.
  6. Report on rumors.
  7. Forget to finish your post.

Our attention is so precious, so finite. Why waste it?

Heck, this post is a waste. Stop reading it. Do something else. Listen to my podcast instead.

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  • urnotalone

    lol

  • http://tim-bonner.com/ Tim Bonner

    I haven’t looked at the LinkedIn news feed for a while Chris. Sounds like I’m not missing much!

  • http://www.postplanner.com/ Scott Ayres

    Yeah honestly speaking I simply Buffer posts over to Li and never go there..

  • Adrienne Andreae

    #3 is my favorite. I’m so tired of hearing how I will die in ruins if I make this one horrid mistake. I’ve almost always made bigger mistakes than whatever the post is about. And I’m still here.

  • http://tkwriterinme.wordpress.com/ Tim King

    Paradoxically, I’ve really wanted to write a “Top 5 Things I Hate about Top 5 Lists” manifesto for a while now…but feel like I’d just be giving in.

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  • Jayne Morehouse

    I didn’t know LinkedIn had a newsfeed. I’m simply too busy following thousands of cats in my newsfeed on Facebook. Seriously, this is a great read for a Friday afternoon. Thanks, Chris!

  • Marquita Herald

    Must admit it’s been awhile since I spent any time on LinkedIn. After reading your post I decided to pop over there and found half a dozen “pitches” in my mail box, notices of 3 endorsements from people I never met, and 2 requests to write a recommendation for someone I’ve only had contact with through a Facebook blogging group. I deleted them all so at least I can consider the time well spent. :-)

  • http://www.npbusiness.org Barbara C. Phillips

    It’s not just LinkedIn. It’s everywhere – even podcasts. We need to take a fresh look at how we define and create “content” and everything that goes with it.

  • http://tech4idiots.org/ Tech84

    back then creating boring posts/articles was designed as way so that people would be somewhat forced to click on the ads surround it. But then panda came along….

  • http://ideagirlmedia.com/ Keri at Idea Girl Media

    I agree with @barbaracphillips:disqus – It’s not just LinkedIn. Similar to @scottayres:disqus, I Hootsuite updates over to LI, and don’t find myself visiting there so often. To me, LinkedIn has so much potential, but they keep “wrecking” it with their “upgrades.” (I used to like it!)

    We’re at a stage that more businesses are hopping into content marketing and trying to improve their position on social media… They want so much to be successful, they forget that originality makes a difference.

    It’s reminders like this, Chris, that kick us all back into gear. :)

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  • http://www.markeroni.com/ Linda Gentile

    And yet, the “X reasons blah blah” is one of the preferred/suggested headline types/post types suggested in the Copyblogger book about headlines. I think it depends–I like the ones about history where there is a fair amount of detail and pictures.

    The others, I can take or leave. You mean people actually don’t finish their posts? Huh. Perhaps they’ll start when they wake up after falling asleep mid-sentence. ;)

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  • Lindsay Kaplan

    I totally agree and wish people used LinkedIn to post more interesting, engaging and strategic content. The problem is that LinkedIn’s “wall” style does not differentiate it from Facebook, Twitter or blogs so there is not necessarily an incentive to create career-focused, LinkedIn-specific content. Users are not sure how often their contacts click through or exactly how others value the LinkedIn feed, so they’re not inclined to WOW you via that medium. If LinkedIn adjusts (and heavily promotes) the strategy behind its feed, users will put more strategy into their posts.

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  • Carol Magalhaes

    That’s so true! Can’t understand why someone that decides to write a blog keeps reposting someone else’s post. I would add one more item: Lists! “5 tips to…”, “10 diets… “, “8 ways to..” That is really annoying.

  • ShaneEasterigg321

    Leah
    . even though Kelly `s storry is astonishing… on sunday I got a brand new
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    last-month . it’s definitly the most-financially rewarding I have ever done . I
    began this 7-months ago and straight away earned at least $84, per-hr . why not
    check here F­i­s­c­a­l­p­o­s­t­.­C­O­M­

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