Be Realistic About Time

Well said, Chris. And, kudos to bringing up a topic that many seem to be thinking about (but not discussing) in this public forum.

Although the pace of communication is certainly something for us to consider, I think it’s the expectation part that really sets us up for a variety of unintended consequences. For example, Don Miguel Ruiz’s talks about the importance of not making assumptions in his powerful book, The Four Agreements. Because of the lightening pace of communication, we as a collective seem to “assume” that our email/DM didn’t go through, that the recipient must be ignoring us, or that “there must be something wrong” if we don’t get a response in the time that we assume to be “normal.”

As a result of those individual and collective expectations, it’s only inevitable that our minds will come up with all sorts of reasons as to why we don’t have a response – most of which are not accurate or even remotely true. Yet, as a result of those assumptions, we err on the side of pushy, demanding and sometimes obnoxious behavior just to pacify those fears or worries that come up when we assume or wonder why we haven’t received a response.

As a willing participant in the Twitter-verse and online reality, I am sure I’ve been guilty of this. Hey, I am not perfect – nor is anyone else online. But, I do think the lack of awareness about how unrealistic our expectations can be might set the stage for damaged relationships and reputations if we don’t tweak our expectations and give people the benefit of the doubt.

Uhhh.. Did you get my email yet??

Sure, I haven’t hit send, but you should have gotten back to me already!

Sanity has to prevail or else we’ll all run around like chickens with our heads cutoff. Technology, which should be our slave, has become our master. Shades of I,Robot and Hal 9000. High-time to say “stop the madness!” Thanks Chris.

Sanity has to prevail or else we’ll all run around like chickens with our heads cutoff. Technology, which should be our slave, has become our master. Shades of I,Robot and Hal 9000. High-time to say “stop the madness!” Thanks Chris.

This post made me think about my current situation which is NYer living and working in Frankfurt, Germany. I am starting to think the Germans (and most Europeans) got it right. There are very few BBs here and I am not expected to check my email if I am on vacation or once I leave the office. I am still adjusting and find it odd, but it is actually nice that your time is actually yours for a chance. I work for a huge global marketing firm and we are the international hub and everything still gets done on time! It is crazy! (well they think I am little crazy because I do use twitter and they are still not convinced it is worthwhile)

It can get rude. I was in my insurance agent’s office the other night, BUYING SOMETHING FROM HIM, and he took a text message on his BB/iPhone and responded while I waited. To me, it’s about priorities and manners. He should have given me his attention, not gotten distracted by his device. I understand the pull to respond right away, but we need to keep our perspective.

It can get rude. I was in my insurance agent’s office the other night, BUYING SOMETHING FROM HIM, and he took a text message on his BB/iPhone and responded while I waited. To me, it’s about priorities and manners. He should have given me his attention, not gotten distracted by his device. I understand the pull to respond right away, but we need to keep our perspective.

Also, the work product tends to be crap when turnaround is that fast. Who has time to think first. or check their work, or make sure they got it right?

Chris,

I know the feeling. I feel like I need to be constantly connected. My Outlook at the office constantly stays open. I can remote connect from my laptop at home. I check facebook a good number of times per day. Twitter now too. I feel like everything that comes into my inbox needs constant attention. Nothing feels like it can wait – from clients to coworkers to supervisors – we now live in a world that works in real-time now. There is no “downtime” anymore. Being off the grid is a very strange (and guilty) feeling.

I went on a week vacation during these past holidays. I checked my e-mail once when I got there and once in the airport on the way back. Not by choice mind you; the resort I stayed at did not have wireless. I learned to adapt. I was surprised at how quickly I adapted to the absence of internet. As the week passed, I only thought about it a few times. But, as I grew closer to reentering society, I started getting “cravings.” I enjoyed being off the grid, but I far more enjoyed being reconnected.

Chris,

I know the feeling. I feel like I need to be constantly connected. My Outlook at the office constantly stays open. I can remote connect from my laptop at home. I check facebook a good number of times per day. Twitter now too. I feel like everything that comes into my inbox needs constant attention. Nothing feels like it can wait – from clients to coworkers to supervisors – we now live in a world that works in real-time now. There is no “downtime” anymore. Being off the grid is a very strange (and guilty) feeling.

I went on a week vacation during these past holidays. I checked my e-mail once when I got there and once in the airport on the way back. Not by choice mind you; the resort I stayed at did not have wireless. I learned to adapt. I was surprised at how quickly I adapted to the absence of internet. As the week passed, I only thought about it a few times. But, as I grew closer to reentering society, I started getting “cravings.” I enjoyed being off the grid, but I far more enjoyed being reconnected.

Chris, I read your entry and am astounded at the fact you already have over 80 comments. Yes, the online world has sped up things! Your entry reminds me of an observation made by a colleague who resided in developing countries over 20 yrs before moving back to the States (though he would visit the US occasionally). His comment was how much the country had sped up during his “absence”. His line of work is relief and development. For ex, he had worked in relief and rehabilitation with the tsunami a few years ago. Though he had very strong views on how poorly the US had done with Katrina he also noted how Americans’ expectations on return to normalcy were so unrealistic given what he knows about what it takes to rehabilitate an area after massive disaster. He really was shocked at the “speed expectations” in the current American mind. If we explore what the root causes may be, certainly the rise of the online world stands out as a strong possibility matching his absence here (and living in a world where online wasn’t as prevalent as here). Thanks for the thought-provoking entry.
rap584 in Twitter

Hi Chris!

I really respect this post not so much for the business aspect. As I am a student, I really don’t have that much to do with this, but I really respect that you understand that we should not all have to be tied down to our laptops and cell phones and checking twitter every 5 seconds. There’s more to life! While these technologies are wonderful, and highly beneficial we cannot and should not base our lives around them. I really appreciate that you are bringing attention to this and hope others understand as well!
Props to you!

-@lgaulin

i was just talking about this yesterday! it makes me not want to reply to people when they write two annoying emails in a row.

i was just talking about this yesterday! it makes me not want to reply to people when they write two annoying emails in a row.

I love the potential that social media has to connect, inform, and democratize. But at the same time, I worry about whether we’re equipped to live (and respond) at machine-speed; More importantly, I worry about what I will lose if I try.

I’ve learned that those with unrealistic expectations are not going to end up being good to work with anyway. It’s kind of like getting negative comments on your blog. Just let em be. You can’t make everyone happy. The way to address the issue is to set up systems of follow up that make sense to you and are sustainable by you and your team. From there, just be consistent. That’s it.

I’ve learned that those with unrealistic expectations are not going to end up being good to work with anyway. It’s kind of like getting negative comments on your blog. Just let em be. You can’t make everyone happy. The way to address the issue is to set up systems of follow up that make sense to you and are sustainable by you and your team. From there, just be consistent. That’s it.

It will take time … it happens with the arrival of all new technologies … we are obsessed for sometime and then we get used to …

Hi Chris, what an excellent and timely article. One of my networking clients and I were discussing this topic just this week. Before so many people were working online, obviously they worked somewhere, somehow but offline and when evenings arrived, some as late as 6 pm or when weekends arrived, no one expected anyone to do anything but spend time at home and with family and friends. Clients “waited” until the next morning or Monday morning, if that’s the case. When did everything go crazy and we now feel pressured to instanteous replies? Will you world, as you know it, cease to exist if someone does not reply to you immediately, overnight or over the weekend? I think not. We, as entrepreneurs, as online marketers, as offline entrepreneurs have to reclaim our personal space and time. Although the world is changing and the economy is tough, without personal downtime, you would not be able to survive long. Now, I believe, it is important, more than ever, to make sure to “schedule non-working time” and treat it the same as a business appointment. Our lives may be healthier, our families may be healthier and overall we may become happier and more contented people.

Thanks Chris for introducing this timely topic!
Carol Deckert, Networking Coach
http://twitter.com/caroldeckert
http://www.runlancaster.com/blog

Hi Chris, what an excellent and timely article. One of my networking clients and I were discussing this topic just this week. Before so many people were working online, obviously they worked somewhere, somehow but offline and when evenings arrived, some as late as 6 pm or when weekends arrived, no one expected anyone to do anything but spend time at home and with family and friends. Clients “waited” until the next morning or Monday morning, if that’s the case. When did everything go crazy and we now feel pressured to instanteous replies? Will you world, as you know it, cease to exist if someone does not reply to you immediately, overnight or over the weekend? I think not. We, as entrepreneurs, as online marketers, as offline entrepreneurs have to reclaim our personal space and time. Although the world is changing and the economy is tough, without personal downtime, you would not be able to survive long. Now, I believe, it is important, more than ever, to make sure to “schedule non-working time” and treat it the same as a business appointment. Our lives may be healthier, our families may be healthier and overall we may become happier and more contented people.

Thanks Chris for introducing this timely topic!
Carol Deckert, Networking Coach
http://twitter.com/caroldeckert
http://www.runlancaster.com/blog