Social bitching. Can it be? Twitter friend Aronado sent me to his project, Bitchy Betty. It is, near as I can see, a social site built around the idea of seeking change through griping and complaining. From the site:
bitchy betties see a need, we put it out there and find a solution. betties want to make changes (big or small!) in our world and we are kicking *ss and taking names to get it done.
The site itself had a lot of the features you might expect from a social site: a way to make a profile, a way to link to bitches and betties that you like, and tags and things like that. It looked nice, aesthetics wise, and everything worked as promised.
So what’s your take? Is this a good way to begin a conversation about change? Are you ready to be a betty?
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Why just bitch about something?
That’s what most people do and it simply breeds negativity. I avoid those people all all cost.
Gotta bitch? Why not take the time to offer a mutually beneficial potential solution to the problem?
I don’t think complaining alone will ever accomplish anything, but forcefully stating things that are wrong, proposing solutions and actively working on those solutions - that can make a difference!
Interesting idea though, thanks for sharing!
bitch & whine won’t get us out of our mess … ironically if the site succeeds it’ll prove my point … our nanny-ish approach to problem solving will hopefully be replaced by a renewed interest in community & rolling up our collective sleeves … wonder who will provide ad support to that site? let’s see if they can bring the bitches to the polls to VOTE - that would be interesting
in “bitches” I am expressly referring to people not women or female dogs …
Thank you so much Chris.
In simple terms:
bitching = defining the problem
pitching = community “sharing” ideas and solutions for change
Hopefully, people can get past the term “bitch(y)” again, the whole point of the site is to share problems, solutions, & commiserate.
@Aronado
I met @aronado on Twitter too, and when I saw the name of his site in his bio I had to check it out. Then I kicked myself that I didn’t think of creating a social network for bitching myself. Anyway, I love this site and I am a big evangelist for it (and no I am NOT on his payroll, I am just a big supporter of cool ideas). Anyway, if this site was only for bitching I would call it fun. But the emphasis on bitching for change is the cool part of this idea. I do hope it takes off.
Bitching and whining are not an “action” and they are usually engaged in when we (we, includes myself) feel powerless and need agreement. I bitch about At&T because I can not find an “action” to take–I do in fact feel powerless. However, it does not make me feel better–I think I would rather align myself with “doer’s” and the positive over the negative. Its easy to bitch, whine, provide simple political statements, and talk about poop–its so much more difficult to work towards action and change while keeping your focus.
Thanks, I needed to remind myself of those very thoughts!
the name leads me to think it’s biased and directed towards females.. but i hope in a grander sense it can bring people together to converse about larger issues such as reform and politics and social justice. if that is the case, i would be a very happy bitching betty!
@Katybeth
Absolutely. but, please don’t get stuck on an idea or perception of what a word means. Through the actions, yes actions of the bitchybetty community you will see the reality.
We just wanted to create a *fun* environment to share, support, and commiserate. Remember, change begins on a small scale.
thank you
@photochicki
:+} thank you. All people are welcome and all ideas topics are welcome at bitchybetty. We’re just getting stared
ps my wife just loved the name
I think the success of Bitchy Betty (in terms of making change) will depend a lot on its users. ‘Bitch’ (the verb) tends to imply griping without presenting ideas for change or motion toward a solution. That doesn’t mean that that’s what the betties will do, especially since the site is presented as a venue for “defining problems, sharing solutions, and supporting one another.”
I also wonder how it will stack up against sites like pledgebank.com or thepoint.com. Maybe attracting ‘fired up’ people with the adjective ‘bitchy’ will work for them, but will those fired up betties be slow burners or flare-ups that are quickly put out?
I’d guess that there just might be a niche for the bitch. Sometimes you need to get riled up to make change. It’s not quite my change-making bag, man, but so long as the betties aren’t taking ‘bitching’ too literally, then they might be onto something.
Let’s put it this way, even if you were to sign up at bitchybetty anonymously and post some “bitches” it is our goal to communicate ideas in a safe place where you CAN be YOU and not worried about your boss, your client, your friends, etc.
bitchybetty is a place where you can let it ALL out.
my best
Aronado
thanks Erin.
bitchybetty is certainly not for everyone and nothing really is ya know. Again, we want to focus on things that matter and make shit happen. At the same time, it’s up to the members on what they post, we DO want the site to be fun as well. Maybe we’re wrong on thinking change can also be fun.
I guess we’ll find out ;)
@aronado that’s an interesting comment (3:02 p.m.) - I got more of a feeling of social change (”bitching for change!”) feeling than a venting feeling from the site.
Do you think you’ll be able to do both (accomplish change and let people vent)?
@Erin
actually yes. It will happen because it is our intention. The bitchybetty site couldn’t exclude peoples feelings.
Look if you post something, a problem/issue, and somebody says *something* very meaningful to you and makes you feel better or view something, that IS social change. Don’t get me wrong, we are focused on social change in a much bigger way also but, the little things count too. Right?
*If anyone would like, my email is Aronado@bitchybetty.Org
Twitter: @Aronado
@aronado
Of course- I didn’t mean to say you could exclude ppl’s feelings even if you wanted to, and why would you? :) I just wouldn’t want to see Bitchy Betty turn into all venting, no action. That’s what I’m getting at.
And- good point- the little things do count. Case in point- I had a laugh already at the fellow who posted about the toilet seat having to be put down. My husband asks why he has to do that all the time. I may have to have him sign up. ;)
@ LOL yeah, that was a funny one for sure. Don’t get me wrong I have grappled with your point muchos. I think we the founders just really have to lead by example. We are so new, I am just trying to get a feel for what to expect.
Thank you very much :+}
My first exposure to Bitchy Betty was through a twitter friend who wanted to share her story without having to rehash it again. If, for no other reason, Bitchy Betty facilitates people being able to do this, I think it has tremendous value. But I don’t think that is Bitchy Betty’s only value. It is a safe place where people can vent and exchange opinions and ideas. It is a resource. My friend received feedback with valuable links to help her research options regarding her problem.
I very much hope this website is successful because there is a need for this on the web. The creators of Bitchy Betty have done a wonderful job making their site a comfortable AND comforting resource.
I think there are various methods for change and bitching is a valid option. Unfortunately I believe this might be one of the more effective methods.
I personally drawn to editorial pages which are the original PC bitch forums. By nature I think we all have an ear for the pain.
Marketing 101. Pain or Pleasure.
This will be an effective platform.
Brian Monahan
Some of the greatest inventions, ideas, and speeches in history came from public forums and the idea that you put more thought and time into something that is going to been seen or heard by either a small or group or thousands of people. People as a whole can be lazy and uninspired but given the right motivation by one person’s idea’s or in this case “bitch”, a large group can be organized and become a monumental force that has to be recognized. Bitcybetty.org really takes us back to the early days on what this country was founded on. Giving the people a voice and place to organize and conform on issues that they feel need to chance. Yes there are more complaints than there are resolutions on the site right now, but you need to have a “list” to work from to really come up with the best ideas on how to create resolutions to those problems. I think this site is the best example of someone trying to actually do “something” with their service rather than just cashing in on the traffic that is out there spending thousands or hours doing nothing other than watching from the couch passively. By the way I am a bitchbetty.org user, and I love the idea of making a difference as a community that is concerned enough to participate.
I think the idea is terrific and I love the name. It makes people look twice, to be sure. Identifying a problem isn’t negative, it’s the first step to identifying the possible solutions. It’s great to have a forum for this.
Keep up the good work @Aronado! And thanks Chris for providing the vehicle by which this interesting conversation was able to unfold!
As long as the one bitching also tries to come up with a solution, that’s ok. But, bitching alone does no good for anyone. Thankfully, @aronado has made it possible for a group approach to problems. Great job!
I think with without would make better.
,,,.
,,,
Ducky.
Out of 100 people who complain, maybe (MAYBE!) 5 people want to work to change the problem. For some people, bitching is a form of recreation or release of anger from other parts of their life.
Anger can fuel social change, I think outrage at the way things are is necessary for people to be motivated to do the hard work of changing the status quo. But a lot of people can get stuck at the point of bitching about a problem and they see no hope of change, it becomes an end in itself.
These cynical bitchers can kill a social movement. You can only change a system if you believe change is possible. Many people who bitch, don’t. It’s safer to be cynical because it’s risky to be optimistic and hopeful…there is always the possibility of failure, that the change won’t happen or not to the right degree or something completely unexpected changes the playing field.
So much easier to post your complaints on a website than to actually do anything about them.
I love this site. I think it has a lot of potential. The lines of communication are open here. All of us can make a change even if the change is a small one and even if it starts at home. Nothing happens overnight. The more users the site has the more change we will see. Aronado thank you for having the foresight and acting on it.
Good luck!
Jami
Since my last comment got eaten up by the formatting police, lets see if this works:
There are bitchers and there are do-ers. I know which one I’d rather be .. and which one I’d rather hang out with / do business with / collaborate with / hear from / live with etc etc.
Sounds like a great way to get lots more of the same, getting nowhere different, fast. But way to give people who like to bitch a way to bitch together… I guess… I’m sure it will be very popular.
It’s going to be difficult to get around the perceptions of the word “bitchy”. I see above in comments that the site is designed to state the problem and come up with a solution. This is called problem solving, or possibility thinking, not bitching.
You can be part of the problem or part of the solution. I don’t see a solution forthcoming from a place like this. Just reading what it’s about is enough of a reason not to click on the link.
Some people have way too much free time.
*Bitchy Betty* ROCKS. I came across the site from a tweet by @typeamom. The name was interesting so I sauntered over. Once I saw the tag line “b*tching for a change”, I knew the site had a mission.
I absolutely did not take offense to the term “b*tch*. I think people need to let go of the old negative connotations the word has and take it up a notch.
As for “complaining”. You can call it what you will. Complaining, Pet Peeves, ‘things that piss you off’, things that are annoying, WHATEVER ..
The thing is, it IS a social networking platform where people can share and express opinions. The beauty and potential of this site lies in the fact that perhaps a small movement may start. The movement may simply be AWARENESS to things you may not have looked at before. And from there, an individual can impact a change through what they DO in their life. One person at a time.
The site is not at all about merely complaining and sitting back and doing nothing. I should know. I’ve b*tched enough on the site and for every b*itch I pitched you can bet that I am walking the talk! That’s just the kind of PRO-ACTIVE person I am.
Like @typeamom, I too was knocking my head thinking why I didn’t think of that concept first! Augh. Kudo’s to @aronado and his wife for developing the site.
Well said Linda.
Even if the venture a small as the lemonade stand giving away free lemonade (see other CB Post today) when the proprietor needs to spend time defending, explaining, or asking others to look past the name, its energy that could be spent elsewhere. I get the ‘getting attention’, purple cow thing, but it really is possible to get stuck in branding. How much lemonade could you give away if you put a tagline on that lemonade stand like “it looks just like pee”?
Interesting concept. I feel like the term “bitching” certainly has a negative connotation off the bat. Though in the “What Is This” segment (or more commonly; “about”)on the website, @Arondo offers this goal “we will help to improve the lives of many people by LISTENING, CARING, and ACTING.” All very positive sounding, no doubt. So I see the catchyness to the concept, but not sure of the foundational strength of reaching this goal via this portal. Also, the gender connotation of a “Betty,” or a “Bitchy” one at that, may be neglecting a unisex appeal.
to the above comment …..
YOU obviously have time to post this comment about this site…I actually think even you could find a “Bitch” to pitch on in this website. There is a subject for everyone….The object is to either say whats on your mind OR if have a solution to someone else’s problem…you can share a solution that you might have for them…so you say you would not click the link…knowing its about real people’s problems and they are reaching for either solutions or just someone to ease their mind that they are not alone..I have been a member for over 1yr now and have made LOTS of friends…and have received lots of great advice…
Just relax…
It got your attention with this name……just like a billboard….thats the point……the creators did this ON PURPOSE…..for this reason..they want it grab your attention and join in ! I really am not sure WHY “Bitchy” is sooo bad, it has to be used in a negative to be negative….when you read…Bitching for a change…..that should change your tune as well….
@Richard Reeve
Point well taken. If we would have named it ie “letschange.org, or changingtheworld.org, or openup.Org” would we catch peoples attention? Maybe, maybe not. I am explaining the branding because it is a bit *edgy* and it is a startup.
People posting a “bitch” isn’t even half of the point of the site. If someone really wanted to see, look at the “pitches”. If the “pitches” give someone an idea how to solve their own problem or a problem of the world, then we have achieved our objective.
@Linda thank you for taking the time to post. But, did you take time to review the site. The “pitches” are the solutions.
People are trying to help other people regarding things big and small. Nothing more nothing less.
cheers
Aronado
@Michelle Sullivan
Thank you for taking the time to post ;)
I can assure you, WE are DOers. If you would like I can send you a detailed list of board seats, clubs, community service activities the founders have been involved in over the past 10 years. judging a book by it’s cover? That’s totally fine but, maybe a little closed minded. Again, if you care, look at the pitches and you’ll see REAL people helping REAL people.
Thank you
Aronado
@ Liz
Thank you for taking the time to post. Change begins with US, and I’ll take “5″ over ZERO “0″ any day.
cheers
Aronado
Let bitchybetty be judged by it’s actions not merely the label.
Thank you to EVERYONE who took the time to comment here. We appreciate your time and please know, these comments have opened our eyes to different perspectives and ideas.
If it’s possible, I am even more motivated now than ever.
Thank you all so much
my best!
Aronado
I felt compelled to come back after seeing so many people who think the term “bitchy” is a negative that has to be overcome.
This is a niche social network. People who are offended by the term bitch probably will not use it. What you forget is not EVERYONE thinks bitching, bitchy and bitch mean something negative. Personally, I take great pride in being a bitch. I don’t take crap off of people, and I happen to think I can bitch with the best of them. And trust me. When I bitch, things tend to change.
Anyway, I don’t think many people pointed out that the term bitchy doesn’t HAVE to be a negative or ONLY something said to gain attention. Some of us like the idea of being on a social network for bitching. Just like that, and branded that way. To me, it says in the branding that we aren’t going to put up with the crap anymore.
And I’ll just say this. When I discovered this site on Twitter and tweeted about it, several people commented about how cool the name was. These are people like me who will connect with that term “bitchy.” A good term.
I am proud to be one of the 1st Betties on the site. I am a doer and I take action.
bitchybetty offered me the opportunity to share my own fight in seeking justice for a dear friend of mine who was murdered in April. The family was ignored for far too long and had no solid answers from the police department as they wanted to treat her death as a suicide. After several posts in which I included her memorial site and email addresses for the D.A and A.P.D in the hopes that people would read about her story and write in to complain about the way things had been handled, the family finally received long overdue attention and answers.
People listened, cared, and acted.
Let my story be the bricks of the foundation.
Even though the title was enough to turn me off from clicking on it because it denoted what I stated above, I have gone there now. This is what I see on the homepage (without joining).
Stop Drinking the Kool-Aid!
These Republicans are KILLING me! I can’t take all the bullshit…
NOTE: Not sure what that’s going to change (and solve) but the bitching about it isn’t changing my political opinion regardless of what that opinion is. Maybe that statement will change some republican’s political affiliation. If I was a republican, it wouldn’t. But I guess the person who posted it feels better.
Why Do I Have to Lower the Seat?
Women want equality - yet I’m the one that always has to lower and raise the…
SOMEONE tell me that I am suddenly going to tell men in my home they don’t have to do that anymore. Or that that “bitching post” is going to change the world or the way the world is going to interact with toilet seats from now on.
I already have a solution. Leave it up and I’ll remove it, trash it and you won’t have to worry about it anymore. Eventually someone besides me is going to miss that toilet seat and rethink their position on it.
See, I understand that some people need a PUBLIC forum to do this. I can see where they prefer to do it anywhere except on their own sites, blogs, etc. either publicly or privately. But if I have an issue about who’s going to take the trash out in my home, my posting it there still isn’t getting the trash out. Nor is it going to get the world to suddenly stand up for my “trash” rights. This is what I meant by solution.
So yes, I went. It’s just not for me.
For those that like it, ENJOY. What else can I say?
Thank you Linda!
Sure the posts on the site will run the gamut. You looked at a couple out of hundreds of posts. Here’s another: http://www.bitchybetty.org/bitches/bitch/237
I totally respect your opinion and you are correct, not every single post is going to result in a real change. But, we’ll take whatever % of goodness and social change that does come out of it. Some good, some change, some help, some awareness, some insight, some encouragement will be better than NONE.
Thank you again,
my best~
Aronado
I’m here to answer this: Can we bitch our way to change?
My answer is: No!
In life, sh*t happens. I learn the lesson and by that I have my opinion. I can then give my suggestion in the right place at the right time. I can take legal steps if needed be. If nothing gets fixed after all said and done, then Nature will take its course one day. What goes around indeed comes around. When my part is done, it’s time to move on.
As for the Betty site, I haven’t gone there and I don’t think I would.
To each his own. :-)
I wish everybody there good luck!
@Aronado - I hope it fares well for you and that the members don’t continue to take the title literally (and for topics that only they themselves can affect change per my example).
If used for the better intentions you have mentioned, it could have a chance at making an impact. Good luck!
@Linda
Thank you very much Linda :+} We realize it will take hard work, dedication, and leading by example.
cheers!
I love to bitch. I love taking action and making positive change. And I love a site where I can bitch, find other people who are bitchin’, and join together to do something about it. Brilliant!