Confidence and Conviction

I’m writing this post from my local ale house (hey, you work where you want; I’ll work where I want). The guest at the table next to mine asked their server, “What do you think of the halibut special?”

The server replied, “I’m not really sure. What did you have in mind when you came in? You know, people really are much happier when they have something in mind. I think it’s okay. I’ve sold a lot of it. I haven’t personally tried it, but it looks good.”

All I was thinking was, if I were the server, I’d say this:

“It’s a great presentation: crispy top and served over our lime rice. I’ve sold lots of it today.”

The guest had opened this can of worms. She had asked what the server recommended. The server’s job at that moment? Recommend the thing the guest would be astounded and pleased to eat. That’s it. No waffling allowed.

Confidence and conviction are the key to many things in life.

A frequent critic (and someone I admire a lot), Ben Kunz, once said something like this about me (not his exact words): “What I hate most about you is that you always sound like you know exactly what you’re talking about, and that’s dangerous.”

I took this to be a great compliment. Again, I admire Ben a lot. He doesn’t let me rest on my laurels.

I take great pride in my confidence and conviction in matters that are important to me. I use confidence as a leadership trait all the time. And I admit when I’m wrong as often as is necessary to make those two traits worth a damn.

Oh, and one last detail:

The halibut looked pretty, but my first bite had three bones in it, and it tasted a bit too fishy in their preparation. I would’ve given the guest the wrong advice. But I’d have meant it, and she’d have bought it. And if she complained, I’d tell her that I was clearly wrong, and offer her another meal. That’s what happens.

Confidence. Conviction. Practice them.

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http://thebrandbuilder.wordpress.com olivierBlanchard

Great post. Reminds me of rule #3: Know your sh*t. As a waiter, an executive, a cultural anthropologist, a politician, a teacher, a doctor or whatever. Just know your sh*t. A waiter who hasn't tasted everything on the menu isn't taking their job seriously.

Knowing exactly what you're talking about isn't dangerous. It just means that when you bother to open your mouth, you aren't just making monkey noises for the sake of getting attention. You speak with purpose about something you know about. I've watched you in action, Chris. If the common advice is to listen 80% of the time and talk 20% of it, you have the uncommon trait of pushing the ratio to its limits: You listen about 95% of the time and talk 5% of it. That tells me that when you DO say something, I had better listen. And so far, even what you think is just improv is still seeped in insight. You have good instincts, Chris. It's why you rarely say something dumb.

Likewise, when you don't know something, you have no problem saying “I don't know but let's find out,” which takes confidence as well, and lays the foundations for conviction when someone asks the question again next time and you actually know the answer.

With all due respect to Ben, the danger isn't to speak with confidence and conviction about things you know. The danger is to speak with false confidence and a facade of conviction about things you don't know well enough. Too many people choose the latter as their MO. You don't. It's why I read your stuff.

Great post, man.
http://twitter.com/Malcolm12boxes Malcolm Sleath

There is the confidence to tell and the confidence to enquire. The brief you gave the server was to: “Recommend the thing the guest would be astounded and pleased to eat. That’s it. No waffling allowed.” Forgive me, but this reminds me of firms who say things like they have a 'passion for delighting their customers' but somehow never get around to asking about what their customers actually value. There are no short cuts. The waffle comes from people who have been led to think there are.
Deborah Mourey

I like the confidence part of this (hmmm, why do they call they con men… because they inspire confidence as they rip you off..) I'm not so sure about the conviction part. I think this gets us (humans) into a lot of trouble. waffling is no good but conviction without honesty or my favorite 'c' word compassion can be problematic.

I think the issue is clarity. the server wasn't clear about his/her answer so s/he just babbled/ad libbed. Clarity takes attention and thought and in a fast paced world, we don't always have that luxury. but we can take a breath, learn from CB to stop and evaluate what we were doing and proceed with compassionate clarity. I sense that everything else follows from there.
http://socialmediafly.wordpress.com/ Anne Wiltshire

Hmm, I'm not sure. There was a client I once worked for who frequently reduced people to tears when they presented their recommendations to him. There were a bunch of reasons this happened (he yelled a lot, and could be openly critical) but most often it was because he asked a question and the person tried to answer without having done the homework to make sure they were giving a good answer or at the very least, with some proof to back them up even if they turned out to be wrong. Anytime someone said they needed to go find the right answer, he was fine – happy actually, that they were willing to go and find what he needed. Couldn't that server have said “I haven't tried it myself, but let me get the chef to come and describe it for you.”?
JAmodi20

ive worked as a server in a few establishments, i do now, while student. one of them never let us try anything, we had to pay full price, no discount. through kitchen mistakes and wrong orders I tried most of the menu, but even special they never let us try. the only thing we have to work with is the description the menu or chef gives us. not exactly the best situation to work with. in those cases though, i try not too hard to sell if i haven't personally tried it and enjoyed it. Sometimes you can blame the server in the situation, other times you can't. And it was a restaurant owned by Food Network celebrity chef pushing 500,000 customers a year.
http://twitter.com/DesignDrifter Stu King

I love this. Acting and speaking with confidence is essential in client relationships. Often they are paying thousands of dollars for my services and expect me to “know it all”. While my experience has given me many of the answers I don't know everything and most clients can smell BS a mile away. I feel very comfortable telling clients when I don't know something but I always offer to do the research and come back with options…even though they are not getting answers right away it does make them feel as though they are getting value. I have found that my confidence level has been reinforced mostly though experience. I have worked with so many clients now and have seen first-hand what works and what doesn't that it inspires confidence with clients and within me. I like what you are saying here, it's not about trying to “fool” clients into thinking you know something you may not but rather about speaking with authority and professionalism that makes clients comfortable in the knowledge that you are smart, experienced and will do a great job for them. I wrote a post on my own blog on a similar subject back in April with a few tips I use to boost my confidence.
http://blog.thedesigndrifter.com/?p=705
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“I’d tell her that I was clearly wrong, and offer her another meal.” That's putting substance behind your conviction. And, speaking about conviction…if working from an ale house works for you, I may have to try it too!
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Confidence and Conviction

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