How You Matter

And therein lies the difference.

“If you could see the trail of “unsubscribes” from my letter, you’d know that my efforts are to weed out those who just want “yet another business newsletter.”

This is how I try to think of unsubscribers too. Every newsletter or new piece of content we publish is a “qualifier.” It’s going to make some people feel included, and some feel like “this isn’t for me.”

That’s fine, we can’t please everyone. We just need to be true to ourselves and we will attract the people who appreciate us.

And, naturally, we appreciate those who appreciate us. They are the one’s who give our lives value.

Thoughtful post Chris!

I used to really be taken aback and somewhat hurt when I saw the unsubscribes, then I realized that those people were helping me. There are two types of people in the word, those that I can help/serve and those that I can’t. If I cannot help or serve you then thanks for quickly moving on so I can concentrate on those that I can.

This post should be glued to every blogger’s computer screen…a reminder as to why we do what we do and how much we work for our readers and need and appreciate them whether they agree or leave.

I can’t say you never side step issues because I have no way to measure or track, but what I’ve read to date continues to excite me with the possibilities of “real” on line community. I’m curious if Rene responded and if so, would love a follow up blog.

Beautiful piece, this is the human artist at its best. We personally cannot have more than 100 connections without taking an existential stance.

I think communication is sometimes jarred, we bring all our experiences past and present to that communication. I have trouble occassionally trusting (in general not Chris Brogan).

I am from big smelly cities with high crime. You have to trust as it trust fuels success. Ironically as you point out in TA it is at an all time low. Matt Medeiros nails it with “You help us. We help you. In turn we both help others”. Thats the glue that holds success.

Dara

We matter because we depend upon each other. Whether we know each other or not is almost irrelevant. Everything that we know, and understand about the world is dependent upon the existence of other people.

It’s counter-intuitively simple. We almost don’t want it to be that simple, but it is. Great Post.

Wow. That’s a fantastic perspective to have and an excellent way to frame it. I’m glad to know you care because I think your actions prove that you do.

The sad part is that it’s easy to be skeptical. We want to believe someone means it when they say they care and that we matter but how many times have we been duped? How many “experts” or “gurus” out there say that in their videos, emails or crafty long-tail product launches just to try and jack people up for the sale? They bait and hook.

Becomes hard for the person on the other end of the email (the recipient) to know who is legit and who is just a snazzy wordsmith tossing out good lines.

But I think this is where human business can change things (if we make the choice). Maybe we can raise up more who care because caring is the right thing to do and because it lifts others up instead of pretending to care in order to just get something out of someone.

That sounds like a good plan to me.

Well I think this whole conversation is really interesting for a couple of reasons. Firstly, reading the comments below, I note the people who can’t understand why Rene would write this to you/feel this way, and some seem to have assumed this must be because she’s new (implication: she’d understand you if she weren’t new).

For the record – I’ve been getting your blog posts in my email for ages, as well as your newsletters and I have to say that exactly the same questions have run thru my mind; the only difference has been I haven’t gotten off my butt to write to you and ask as Rene has. (So, thanks Rene.)

So here’s another thing: jeez – I don’t expect everyone to react the same way as me, have the same view, and I think different views are good. So big deal if there are a few Renes out there – doesn’t mean anything about them other than they have a different interpretation.

Now, to the final thing. Having read your response, I get what you’re saying Chris – as in, I understand it, but I’ll be honest – I’m still skeptical! (But I’m entitled to my opinion right?) For instance, I read “if you’re the kind of person who reads and reacts and responds to what I’m writing, then you are no doubt the kind of person who seeks to be helpful to others” – well that’s an inference I probably wouldn’t feel safe to draw but you can if it you works for you clearly. I’d say there are a few people reading this merely wanting a tip or two, or just because in the stream of things they have an interest in – and humanising business might be one of them – this is something to dip into. Then I read for instance: “Me? I work for you. I don’t write this for my own entertainment. … I need to share with you so that you can make your own world more interesting” and I’ll be honest and say that strikes me as a little egocentric…but then again, if it works for you, knock yourself out. (I tend to take Seth Godin’s approach that blogging is great for distilling your own thoughts. Oh yeah, and marketing.)

At the end of the day – the marketer in me can’t help seeing the marketer in you – dress it up however you want. So when I read the “you matter” references, I have a little skeptical shudder and move on…and so far they haven’t gotten in the way enough to make me unsubscribe! At the end of the day, we SHOULD be humanising business and if you write about it with a bit of American schmalziness every now and again that’s no big deal in the big picture… (sorry guys, it’s just the Aussie in me). I’m glad someone’s writing about it at all.

Wow! This brings tears Chris.

That is a great response to a difficult question.

Thank you for sharing this helpful information..
John..

Coming from an email marketing standpoint this is a great article. Getting people to read what you send them and actually have them want to subscribe to you is the ultimate reward for hard work in copy and marketing.

Great post.