Pirate Moves- Promoting Without Being That Guy

April 2, 2009 · Comments

bullhorn guyPart of what makes social media great is the ability to reach out and connect with people simply. Tools like blogs, Facebook, Twitter, and the rest are free or cheap, can reach lots of people, and promote two way conversations. You might be interested in using social software to promote your products or service or company, and that’s great.

The thing is, this isn’t baseline advertising and marketing. You’re talking into a channel where people have gathered for different purposes. Some will be interested in your promotions. Others will reject them. Still others will rail against you for acting commercially in what they consider a sacred space.

There are ways to get your ideas across such that it’s palatable to your audience and/or to a community. Some of them work well for everyone. Others require a higher degree of trust first. Here’s some of what’s usually missing when people explain to you that social media is this great place for marketing and business communications. They forget to tell you that there’s work involved in establishing trust, but we can get there.

The trick is being able to promote without being “that guy” (and yes, that includes women).

Let’s Use the Picnic Analogy

Conn Fishburn from Yahoo gave me a great analogy for thinking about social media marketing when we spoke at IBM’s Research Headquarters in New York last year. He said, “Bring wine to the picnic.” In this case, Conn was talking about the idea that if you show up and try to market, people will be frustrated and will shut you out. Instead, if you bring something of value to people, they’ll be more likely to accept you.

The picnic is a decent way to think about social media environments, especially if you think of it as a pot-luck picnic in a large public park. Let’s envision it: a sunny day, with a warm breeze, and there are people gathering for different reasons. Some are there to just take in the rays. Others are there to practice for a sporting event. Others have come to find romance. Others are organizing a protest. There are even a few people of questionable character looking to cause trouble and improve their standings in life.

Things To Remember About Being That Guy

“That guy” tends to blurt a lot. They talk all about their thing. They re-talk about it all over Twitter, Facebook, and everywhere they can find. They make every second or third blog post a pointer to that thing. They try to find clever ways to weave their thing into your thing.

The problem is, we know. We see it. We know what you’re doing. It’s not clever. It’s not subtle. It’s not very picnic-like behavior.

How “That Guy” Arrives at the Picnic

Imagine there are a bunch of people standing over by the picnic tables. They’ve brought a dish to share. They are looking forward to enjoying a diverse lunch with loosely joined friends (people they might not know well, but that they know in a social setting). They’re smiling, enjoying small talk, and engaged in several small conversations of varying degrees of substance.

I could just use one word: blurt.

“That guy” shows up and starts bullhorning her message into the crowd. “Hi! I can show you thirty ways to make money while you sleep!”

(That guy uses lots of exclamation points.)

You know that guy. You might have even been that guy. Sometimes, I skirt perilously close to being that guy. Again, what separates you from being that guy is often just a level of trust, or, as Conn Fishburn called it, the notion to bring wine to the picnic.

Bring Wine to the Picnic

At this picnic called social media, what people seem to want the most is information they can use. The information might be entertaining, might help them with their job, might do something to give them a sense of value. Whatever the case, in the social space, people consider the sharing of information to be one form of ready relationship currency. Let’s talk about others.

10 Ways to Build Relationships Before You Ask for Anything

  1. Comment on and reply to other people’s observations, posts, and ideas. (Sometimes, just retweeting someone’s status message in Twitter is a gesture that matters to people.)
  2. Share good information freely, such as pointing to great blog posts or articles.
  3. Make virtual introductions when you see obvious like-minded people who could do to know each other.
  4. Create useful media like blog posts or ebooks or videos that help people.
  5. Find mutual interest points and talk about them. (Bonus points to you if they’re off-topic from your business needs, like talking about the Red Sox or Barbecue.)
  6. Remember things about the other person, such as whether they have a big meeting on Thursday, and ask them about it on Friday.
  7. Help when someone is promoting their thing. Spread information for other people liberally.
  8. Find causes and nonprofit experiences to help out. Showing that you’re not just a capitalist pig goes a long way.
  9. Reply to people and build conversations.
  10. Thank people when they’re helpful.

Launching Your Promotion

After accomplishing the above – and it’s a process, so don’t pat yourself on the back after being at this for a few days. You’ve really got to earn your place at the picnic. After accomplishing the above, it’s likely that you can promote things. I find that the magic of doing so is still in alignment with picnic-friendly behavior.

  • Make your promotion useful to others. “I’m giving away a free pass to my conference for the first five people representing a major brand. DM me to see if you qualify.” (That might work. What do you think? Still too scammy?)
  • Make your promotion informational. “How do you go about promoting using social media? Here are my ideas…” (which is how I’ll show Twitter this post.)
  • Ask politely for folks to share the more important promotions. I rarely request retweets of work on Twitter, unless it’s for a charity. If it’s for charity, I can really ring the bell.
  • Try your hardest to make it about them. You’re talking about your thing, but if you make it about them, they share. (Them is not the giant ants, but instead, people in your picnic community.)
  • Use a variant of this mix in promoting. Try to promote something like 15:1 their stuff to your stuff, or at least make about 15 of your tweets or social media messages or blog posts about something that’s NOT about your stuff to every one that is yours.

What Else?

I’ve probably missed a few gems. As you’re all social media superheroes too, why not give me some help? What do you think are some of the ways that have worked for you? Want to share some of your better promotions?

It’s okay, I’m asking. : )
Photo credit Gabu Chan

If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving a comment or subscribing to the feed to have future articles delivered to your feed reader.

Tagged as: , , , , , ,

ChrisBrogan.com runs on the Thesis Theme for WordPress

Thesis WordPress theme

Thesis is the search engine optimized WordPress theme of choice for serious online publishers. If you’re a blogger who doesn’t understand a lot of PHP, Thesis will give a ton of functionality without having to alter any code. For the advanced, Thesis has incredible customization possibilities via Thesis hooks.

With so many design options, you can use the template over and over and never have it look like the same site. The theme is robust and flexible enough not only to accommodate a site like ChrisBrogan.com, but also to enable the site to run far more efficiently than it ever has before.

  • I would have thought of your suggestions as common sense. I guess not everybody sees things our way?!
  • Agreed. You don't want to be the guy who shows up, drinks everyone's booze and leaves. Nobody likes that guy.
  • Chris,

    Thanks for the mention, I've found that when approaching organizations about how to market in this new environment that it's important to literally reset their thinking about how marketing and media work today, that "social media" is really an opportunity to destroy the business/culture divide and help brands understand that they are part of their customers' lives and that their customers are part of theirs and that companies need to understand that it's a choice that keeps them in their customers lives, so they should behave accordingly, with civility.
  • I'm just learning the ropes myself as I've only been active with social media for about two years maybe. I love this post. It's so true. Only thing is, even if you do try to make a true connection (for example via twitter) aka "bringing wine to the picnic" you sometimes still get ignored. Why is that? Is it because that tweeter has a bazillion followers and can't manage all the @replies or because he/she doesn't care about connections (sad)?

    Not sure, anyway I think your 15:1 rule is really good, definitely a great guideline for all.

    Since you asked :), one thing I've tried to promote (and will continue to promote) is our Charity Tweetup Tour, which you've already RTed for me, thank you! I'm leery of asking for RTs because I DON'T want to come across as spammy. I'm just grateful for all that I have and want to give back, preferably invoking a global movement of tweeters who want to give back too! Despite the financial crisis, we still have more than others in countries of true poverty. We shouldn't forget that!

    Also, regarding my biz, I tend to talk about our target groups' problems (talking to the pain), and offering my solutions just based on my own experience, which tends to build a good connection.

    Sorry for rambling :-)
  • its clear that this is the best case and best post i have ever read about social media... thanks Chris... i'll imagine the picnic each time i share smth... even with this comment :)
  • Chuck Duncan
    Thanks Chris. I've never been that guy, but at the same time, I have yet to take anything from the media. I see it as a giving thing. There's that trust and respect approach. When and how do you actually benefit from it. I've always been reluctant to ask for help or even seek an advantage. Got to get comfortable and specific about what I'm looking to receive. Got ways to do that?

    Cheers.
    Chuck
  • As one who always worries about being THAT guy in any situation, the social media picnic has made me even more paranoid ... and yet it somehow has this beautiful policing power that seems to make us more socially sensitive. It amplifies the gaffes THAT guys make in an environment where it is so easy and so much more fun to laugh at. After all, THAT guy who talked your ear off about his latest brainstorm at the cocktail party last night (probably after two many drinks) was funny but you didn't laugh in his face. If he walked into the room here however we'd all be RAOTFLMAO. And we avoid the spilled beer.
  • Roberto
    Great post!!!
  • I think I might be THAT guy. Am I? Chris, you've got me thinking.

    Am I the social media guy or am I THAT social media guy? Adding value to the people I engage with, whether to raise awareness of my start-up or simply share news about things we're both interested in, has always been my goal when doing outreach. However, I worked in agencies for years, often times on accounts I wasn't passionate about. Passion for my craft drives my motivation and when I'm forced to use my craft (social media) to raise awareness about things I don't truly cares about... Well that's when I become THAT guy.

    Get me talking about start-ups, education technology, green technology, web 2.0, cars, NYC, and fashion and you're in for a engaging dialogue. You'll be talking to THE social media guy.

    And if you're wondering about my start-up check out gradegurublog.com
  • This is the reason why I don't auto follow new followers on Twitter. I check their profile first to see if they're that guy. I kinda avoid people who only tweet links to articles and sites etc, and have little or no meaningful conversation.
  • Great article! First time I've saw your blog (found a link at the t-shirt forums) and I am impressed!
    Really wish more people would reach out and lend a hand, instead of being "that guy" all the time. Sure, I ask for stuff sometimes, mostly just to promote when I'm in a contest or when I'm throwing a contest. I mean when using social media, most of the time the business name is in the social media name - myspace(.)com/xyz or whatever. No reason to spam the life out of people! Just talk and listen.
  • @ryancmiller,

    Hi Ryan, you could do what 'that Guy' doesn't do:
    - listen
    - help him figure out what he really needs (attention) and why he needs it
    - honestly say how you feel, what your needs are and tell what you like about a real conversation

    When I'm 'that Guy' (yes I admit) I'm always glad when someone shows me how it can be done in a different, non-that-guy-way, when someone holds up a mirror, not to mock me, but to help me find out what I'm doing and how I can change this. You see, when I'm 'that Guy'ing it's usually because I'm feeling insecure. Seeing someone who recognizes that and respects that helps a lot.

    Have a great day,

    Hannes
  • Chris,

    What you just wrote is like a social media etiquette manifesto. I'm totally not surprised by the 100 comments. We all know 'that guy' and most of us at one point or another have been 'that guy'. Hope this Picnic Mentality gets passed around and far and wide. Thanks again for another insightful post.

    Question for the group though. Is there the best way to react to 'that guy'? Do we just send him to Chris' post, call them out, or do our best to ignore them? I'd be curious as to what you all do when you encounter this kind of person at Your Picnic.

    @ryancmiller
  • Carlo
    Hi Chris. This is a great post in trying to understand how some of the dynamics within social media works. It's also a great thing to see how there seems to be an attitude that returns to village mentality, where a person has to contribute to be part of a community (and a genuine contribution, at least). But there will always be people who abuse the new reach social media has given them (like in many other circumstances). I don't think this will give a "playbook" that they can use either.

    I am just stepping into the high-paced world of social media and I'm glad to find someone who can break it down to easy to understand bits. It shows that you really know your stuff.

    Thanks.
  • Hi Chris, man what a must-read. It's so tempting to just 'start talking' as it seems like this is what everyone does with social media. It's easy to forget that your talk is only worth as much as the listening it gets.

    I've recently started writing about the power of Listening and how it can be your most powerful tool when writing stories, when marketing your product or when using social media.

    I was going to write that you could add Listening to your list, but then again a great listener understands that listening is what you talk about without even mentioning it literally.

    So, no, nothing to add but praise. It's great to be around here.

    Hannes
  • I love this post, Chris. There is a person I'm connected to on LinkedIn who's "that guy" and he drives me NUTS. Every email from him (which I receive usually no less than 4 times a week) is about HIS thing, every post in multiple groups is exactly the same and it's all cloaked under an emotion evoking subject line or premise. I see right through it and it irks me. Your post is dead on and he could learn a few lessons from it. It's a shame he's too busy "promoting" to be reading.
  • Awesome stuff! Great to be learning from a leader like you.
  • Chris, Thank you for this post, the community needed to hear this. "That Guy" syndrome pervades the web and Twitter posts like this are unprofessional..
  • Eva
    thank you ~ of all the people I have followed since joining twitter I have learned the most from you...and continue to do so. Thankfully I dont need to be "that guy" as I am not selling a product ~ but I have learned so much about online relationships that can be quite complex in this "global village" . Still have a long way to go.

    Your birthday party was a laugh...
  • Brilliant and well-timed post Chris. I still struggle with this from time to time, but I think there is learning curve involved. This is new ground for all of us, and it can be difficult finding your voice. It is even more difficult to keep your voice from getting lost among the noise.

    The thing about social media, is there are a lot of cliques and groupies and it is tough to join the picnic. I'm tired of hearing about people I should follow or that are so "brilliant," yet they are nothing more than self-promoters that are allowed to get away with it. I'd almost be willing to bet that there is a double standard when it comes to marketing on these mediums. If you aren't one of the "cool guys," then you don't get to play.
  • Point # 1: Excellent post, Chris. And to your point # 2, I happened across your post on Katya's Non-Profit Marketing Blog.

    Very good advice which I will, in turn, pass along to others (points # 2 & 7).

    Thanks!
  • I rarely comment on a post more than once unless a conversation is sparked, but I gotta say that Chris might have just laid out a basic foundation for the proper approach to SM if its to be done the right way.

    I for one plan to link back to this post from my blog as a must read piece and a vital reference for anyone interested in understanding the correct behavioral model that should be associated with the most effective way to approach Social Media.

    thx again Chris
  • I've found it hard to figure out just how much to promote my stuff on twitter. I've started to realize that the system moves so fast %95 of the people following me won't see a particular tweet, especially if I am sending a lot of tweets. So I've started to think that mentioning my stuff more often isn't a bad thing because most people don't see when I mention it before. Just to be clear I'm not trying to spam. But my followers will actually tell me they wish they knew about our new contest and I should have said something. Well I did send out 5 tweets about it but they all got lost in the noise.
  • Thanks Chris, great post. I've paid the rent for nearly 20 years by persuading people to hire me as a freelancer or buy from me as a sales guy.

    After being subjected to all types of advice on how to sell I've boiled it down to this rule. Having been professionally with social media over the past few months I think it applies equally as well.

    Solve the customers issue (even if you don't gain from it).
  • Rob
    Chris,
    If I can only read one blog a day going forward, it has to be yours. As a sales guy one needs to be a bit pushy, but there is a huge difference between being 'that guy' and closing. Closing only happens after you have shared the wine. Thanks for the insight and wisdom.
  • Having spent my entire corporate career in sales before starting my own business, I love that Chris reinforces the simple and powerful message that it is about building relationships. That's as true off line, as it is online. Nobody likes "that guy" at a local networking event any more than they like him/her online. Excellent post!

    As for a few of the comments about people being worried that we are giving "that guy" the play book for how to behave online...I don't think we need to worry. Because the truth is that "that guy" actually doesn't get it and probably never will:)
  • This is my favorite post you've ever done. Most nonprofits are "that guy." Thanks for helping us better participate in the great picnic online.
  • Matt
    Hi Chris,
    Thanks for the post, as always a very well balanced argument. I've felt like that guy sometimes, I start getting crazy ideas and wanting to tell everyone. In the end it's just not worth it, you just get frustrated and everyone ends up ignoring you. In the end I just feel like an idiot and find it's far more fun to just relax and talk to people about what they are interested in, in life, then they'll let you talk about yourself a little.

    I think balance is definitely key.
  • Chris,

    Thanks for the post. No one wants to listen to someone sound like a spammer. Build a personal and true relationship before business talk enters the picture.
  • An absolute classic Chris. Really well stripped, great content. I'm tweeting this post the moment I hit submit.

    thanks again :)
  • I liked that guy with the Mickey Mouse ears, when I heard you speak about this in person. You're right of course.

    Blow horns don't really work with social media just like pushing business cards don't really work at a luncheon. I think what works for me, Chris, is that I never do it if it feels forced. I figure if I wouldn't do it in person then there is no point in doing online. Maybe therein is the solution. Stop thinking of online as online.

    It's a public place where people gather and share stories, ideas, whatever. Sometimes that might include talking shop, but not all the time and certainly not with it being the objective or, worse, the secret agenda.

    Best,
    Rich
  • I love the picnic analogy - nice illustration and specific tips. Thanks so much for putting it into terms everyone can understand! Cheers!
  • RJ Walker
    Chris,
    Like the perfect wine, your comments go well with any social interaction. Thanks for promoting social graces. I saved the list as a reminder. These are good things to remember and practice. You always were the smart one.
    R.J.
  • I really like the 10 items list followed by the bullets. Actionable and concise. Good advice for any project you're trying to promote.
  • Great point Chris! I think we're all tempted to be "that guy" (i know i am at times) and it can be tricky to share your stuff while not making others feel like you are always pushing your stuff.

    Great point on the 15:1 ratio. Tough to pull off depending on your 'real' day to day work, but i've found it to be the best way to 'join the picknic' :)

    http://twitter.com/franswaa
  • Companies large and small would do well to show a bit of restraint here and spend more time listening or part of the conversation as opposed to talking or canvasing their 'prospects'. It's going to take a long time to change the mentality of folks in marketing. Many were schooled on casting wide nets and a marketing model that really doesn't apply to social media...they need to change, and the sooner the better.
  • Interesting. Good stuff definitely.

    From the outside I've got to add something: If you're perceived as being "at the picnic" to sell... it's not going to matter how much wine you bring.

    It's REALLY easy to tell when someone's looking for a conversational lead-in to their pitch and it's equally easy (and imo completely justifiable) to flip the bozo bit on that person.

    When push comes to shove (and I think this is where the analogy breaks down) if you come to a social engagement with a commercial interest, I don't want you there.
  • This is an excellent post, very inspiring. I think that some people and businesses find it hard to understand how to interact within the social media space because it's in 'the cloud'. It can be hard to picture the effect you are having on people in what is their personal space, even if it's in the online public, simply because you are not physically there with them.

    Using the picnic analogy is perfect - it brings it to a level that anyone can understand.

    Adapting established rules of how to interact within a community, from offline to online is something that really interests me and your post covered a lot of important points.
  • Such a great post! Oftentimes, we think, ok, today I am going to be the "wallflower" and just listen, and it's on that day that you have the distinct "pleasure" of running into "that guy"-and miss out on other great conversations and points of topic that would have been really useful. So, please, please, don't be "that guy"-some people want to hear more than your hype!
    @lindacovington
  • I seem to be getting more impersonal requests on LinkedIn and Facebook lately. I think there's room for it to some degree. Facebook has changed their approach due to Twitter. Some of my best conversations actually happen in blog comments and message boards though.
  • Great commentary… like your writing style! ‘That Guy’ analogy is spot on. You should do post on 'That Guy' that has hundreds of 1st degree links on LinkedIn, but doesn’t know any one of them.
  • Good point Amber. The key is to make your replies genuine without them appearing 'automated' to the recipient.
  • I'm trying SO hard to walk the line between not being "that guy" and not ignoring Twitter as a tool for promoting blog readership.

    One thing I'm trying to do is @ hello new followers on Twitter.
  • Tim Andren
    Nice work Chris. I wrote a blog post a while back titled 'Don't Be That Business'. I used the same analogy of 'dont be that guy'.

    http://blog.timandren.com/tim_andrens_blog_impa...
  • Great post! As communicators, I think it’s important to remember one thing: customer service. Social media allows for easier ways to connect with people. But cultivating relationships requires a “what can I do for you?” attitude – a core value of customer service. “That guy” is self-service.

    Summer
    @FSUwalker
  • @Dan - I had to chime in again after reading your comment. I think the real neat part of the ethos of the Social Web is that we are all still learning about it. Experience helps, but because of the aspect of newly emerging social communities, we all find ourselves in the process of learning the ropes.

    I like your analogy of the street ads, but when we think about the "social" bit being discussed here, I think its kind of like a total stranger dropping-by a bbq function, in the middle of a poker game (likely one where you've got a good hand too) or using Chris' example, a picnic, and starts selling to you. One of the foundations of Naked Conversation is that is not really "social" when its a pitch. Even traditional media and advertising is getting a beat down about keeping the ethos of the Social Web uncluttered.

    Interestingly enough, there are still traces of traditional examples of things we consider off-limits. The other day, I was listening to a sports program talking about how the NHL and how they should consider generating revenue by plastering logos on their hockey jerseys like they do in Europe. The experts described how it boils down to preference, but in reality, the reasons were echoed nicely by a caller who said they loved buying official/licensed jerseys, but refused to if they were riddled with logos and wouldn't want to become a walking billboard. Not even if the jerseys would cost less from the subsidized ad revenue.

    At the heart of this example is the human interaction with the brand that becomes a part of the cultural fabric - and this means that even a "commercially" viable sporting franchise needs to recognize that it depends on its fan base to survive in the world of sports entertainment, and it too needs to know when to back off, especially if the fans deem the jersey or the team brand, or even the renaming of the stadium or arena to be off limits when it comes to generating revenue.

    If I had to use a traditional example again, I guess we all want to avoid having to post a "no flyers" sign outside the door of our online ID's, and keep things on a social level. Ultimately though, we also need to realize there is a self-regulating aspect to the social Web, and I think many would agree that thoughtful, genuine and helpful content is winning, as it should be.

    Joseph
    @RepuMetrix
  • Scott M
    Great article, super informative and spot on!

    I would say that the 1 in the 15:1 ratio is super important. It can make or break the relationship you've build up with your network (through the 15). Just because you've given them what they wanted 15 times can you give them 1 that's just for you... at least that appears to be just about you. That 1 post still needs to be relevant, informative & useful. If you're open about where you're coming from, and you always provide good insight/content/info, then people will accept something a little more "all about you".
  • I hope I am not repeating the obvious.... but isn't it all about what Will Rodgers had figured out long ago when he said, “Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far” ...

    ... especially after you've shared a bottle of wine! :)

    Nice post, Chris .... as a side note, I don't mind running into "that woman" at the picnic..... :)
  • I think people want to feel encouraged, and we do this by experiencing them with joy. We have to "get out" of ourselves in order to "get into" others. For me, I think it's all about a process that is pure in the "giving" motive, loving (other-oriented) in nature, and relationally authentic (no agenda). Add to this a little bit of faith then... "Commerce Happens"! The rest tends to make me just a little bit "crazy".
  • Nice post. As a relative newbie to social media, I'm struck by how the ethos of the web community can be so different from the "real world." On the street, we're bombarded by ads & messages. A successful PR professional is a relentless (sometimes shameless) bell ringer. In our social media communities, on the other hand, it seems we are trying to recraft our environment into something less intrusive and perhaps even more thoughtful...
  • Chris:

    As always, you are spot-on regarding building trust and value in social media conversations. Your views go hand-in-hand with Covey, et al "Seek first to understand, then to be understood". What's really aggravating on Twitter are folks that DM a new follower with "Here's my free ebook". These folks are clearly "the guys". "The guy" is likely why some people are getting tired of Twitter, Facebook, etc. By the way, ABC News is soliciting comments for a "Are You Tired of Twitter, Facebook?" article on their website.

    Here are my comments to this ABC story solicitation: Sorry...I'm not tired of Twitter or Facebook. I use both services and other social networks extensively... both personally and professionally.

    My businesses development depends on strong PR and marketing, especially as to how it relates to generating trust among potential clients and buyers. Social networks can be powerful tools for developing one's reputation as a trust agent (Look at Chris Brogan's blog--www.chrisbrogan.com--for a good ebook on trust economies).

    On a personal basis, I have made wonderful contacts via social networks regarding my seven year-old son's autism and related issues. Just yesterday a reporter contacted me after reading my autism comments on Twitter.

    I do get tired of the "Look at what I did last night" noise on these services. I simply choose my friends and contacts wisely, and can usually avoid most of the noise.

    In order to get the most utility out of Twitter, Facebook, and other social networks, a user must have goals for what they want to learn and/or communicate. By using appropriate search methods in the context of the social networks, users can find like-minded other users.

    I think you will find two types of social network users based on focus. Random users just throw up noisy comments on the social networks, and this category of users will be the ones who likely contact you regarding your "Are You Tired of Twitter, Facebook?" story. Conversely, focused users have a purpose for listening, learning, and communicating.
  • Thanks Chris. This was one of the better posts I have read on relationship development and not being "that person on Twitter" who makes me want to switch sites. And after printing out your "10 Ways to Build Relationships", it gave me hope that even I can get more actively involved.
  • This is exactly what I needed to read today--Very helpful tips, thank you!
  • I'm into people offering something new and different. I love to read posts pointed out to me on twitter. BUT, they need some context. I started out with the standard: "New blog post, Blah, Blah, Blah." I found it to be a really lame approach and killed it immediately. Give me a headline, tell me what I should expect. What makes this post worth my time and why should I care? What I do now is send my messages in a way that I would like to receive them. That gives me great perspective. If you have a new take on a controversial topic, TELL ME. And please don't lie.
  • Chris,

    have I told you lately that you rock? B/c you totally do. You are one of the few "pro" folks that I follow on Twitter and it is because you are yourself, you bring wine, and you let folks make fun of you.

    Keep doing what you're doing, my friend. It works.

    Suzi W.
  • inthistogether
    Thanks Chris,
    I came for the wine

    Tog
    rgb.edbd
  • Excellent analogy.

    Don't stop with the wine, bring the champagne to the picnic. You'll be the hit of the party and remembered for long after the bubbly is gone.

    In other words, it helps if you have something extraordinary to share or say online and not just a rehash of the obvious.

    And by all means, don't bring the wrong kind of wine or cheap wine, it will spoil the event for everyone.

    Salud!
  • Nothing is worse than that guy no matter what the situation. Always helping others can work a ton because good karma can come back. Work on building relationships, and then work on building promotions.
  • I posted some longer-form feedback on my blog. Great article, and I hope lots of people take your advice. We'd have a kinder, gentler Twitter. :)

    http://adavaughan.blogspot.com/2009/04/chris-br...
  • Love it Chris! Can I carry the analogy further?

    Don't be the one who shows up to a picnic at the beach wearing a three piece suit, tie and dress shoes. Be human, be transparent and then maybe someone will throw you the beach ball.
  • Great post Chris! I have to admit that I am a product of the Me-Generation and I am a professional speaker. Talk about a double dose of the "That Guy" syndrome. speakers tend to be all about themselves and self-promoting has been a huge part of our business strategy. It has always felt a little slimy to me. I love this new way of thinking about marketing. Sharing, collaboration, and giving it away and now I'll remember to bring the wine on the picnic. Thanks for continuing to teach me!
    Karen
    @shotofenergy
  • Katie Roth
    This was a great article, very helpful and insightful. A great blueprint on how to connect with people and really build valueable relationships that will come in handy in the future.

    As someone who is new to the industry I find that you are very helpful and look forward to what you have to share tomorrow. Thank you for sharing your knowledge with the rest of us.
  • As usual a great post. I couldn't agree more that social media marketing definitely requires tact and some different strategies than traditional marketing - that's what makes social marketing social powerful. You're actually caring about what your customers, colleagues, etc. are saying. You're building relationships. I wrote a post called Social Media Marketing that goes hand-in-hand with what you're saying here. At our college we're going down the road of implementing social media into our communications/marketing streams and it will be well for all of us to try not to 'be that guy'. Thanks again for the post.
  • Paulette
    Thanks for this post Chris! I'm sending this straight to the Director of Communications, as I think it really outlines what we need to think about as we start integrating social media tools into our communications strategy. As a govt agency, I don't know if we can totally avoid being "that guy," but I'm hopeful we can mostly avoid it.
  • I love the "bring wine to the party" explanation. I've been thinking about this a lot, as I see more and more folks jump into marketing via Web 2.0. In fact, I just blogged about the need for personal experience in online communities today (and linked back to this great "That Guy" post) because I think it's something a lot of social media branding "experts" lack: http://mamapundit.com/2009/04/if-i-were-hiring-...

    If I were hiring a social media strategist, I'd want to see that he/she uses the tools for more than just trying to sell things. I'd want to see what they do personally, because personal participation is how you really learn the nuances of community-building and participation.
  • I really agree about that guy, we all hate him.... It is so important to keep the "social" aspect of social media there!! I like to say create yourself as a news maker... If you are continually sharing information and that information is either entertaining or useful people will seek you out... We naturally want to do this, take Celebs for example they create stuff that is entertaining and we seek to find more about them...
  • I think another example would be to not be a bandwagon jumper. Too many social media folk that appear nice and genuine are quite clearly bandwagon jumpers and just do things for popularity contests. Surprising how many are starting to show.
  • I think we all have to be aware that we skate dangerously close to being "that guy". I mean aren't articles like this directed at educating on how "not to be that guy"? Isn't that because there is a fear amongst us that we are?

    Irregardless, we are showing up at the picnic with an angle. Some may say references to making the "15:1" argument as insincere, as our end goal is to still get our 1 promo in.

    I like your work Chris and believe you to be a truly genuine marketer and human being, but what about those who aren't? Are we handing out the playbook, or do you think it will be blatantly apparent in the digital space of who is "that guy" all the time?

    Just a couple thoughts...Thanks.

    And I reference @ed's comment earlier too. Spot on.
  • Chris,

    This is great stuff! In my experience, one really needs to know something about reading people and the setting to know when information sharing is appropriate and when to use it in an appropriate context. Even the most well-intended information sharing attempts can come off as being disingenuous, or worse, selling out of place.

    Selling out of place can have devestating effects, and we've seen cases where it caused a full-blown reputation crisis. Your list of things to do before asking anything is an intelligent way of getting the idea across. I especially like its subtlety because its really a precautionary warning, but you chose to coach us on the dangers of selling out of place through intelligence rather than intimidation.

    Joseph
    @RepuMetrix
  • Marty Skrobis
    Spot-on with the picnic analogy. I've only been on Twitter a short time but have seen "That Guy" show up to my picnic more than a few times.

    Keep up the great posts!

    Marty
  • Nice post and analogy. People tire very quickly of the braying self-promoters. At the end of the day it is all about building trusted relationships and having something of value that others can use, regardless of the channel.
    Keep up the good work Chris, enjoy and appreciate your insights.
    John T.
  • You had me the minute you offered to bring wine to the picnic ;-) As always you make great points. Your "smallest" point being number 3 is what makes the world run, you are a great bridge builder. I promote your blog posts because they are inspiring and truly helpful to people.
  • Great post – informational and easy to read, as always.

    I’m really glad you posted this topic. I just started my blog about a month ago and I’m struggling to understand how I can truly promote my blog (across a wide geographic) without being ‘That Guy’.

    I’ve been promoting via Twitter & Facebook, with subtle headlines… but it’s still a challenge to engage a broad audience without doing some type of blanket ‘shameless plugs’ =) I’ll definitely put some of your thoughts into practice over the next few months and see where it goes.
  • Gaurav Kohli
    I too love the "Picnic" analogy decribed beautifuly by you.

    Big corporations are now understanding this too and are avoiding "in the face" promotions which they have been doing since long. They have to bring value additon on the table before taking something off it.

    Great post !!

    Gaurav
  • Chris,
    Great post. Completely agree. Promote too much, and you will turn people off. I am in PR, we get paid to promote. It's very important that I be a member of the community, and use the 15:1 ratio, just like everyone else at the picnic. I do my best. I share, RT, pass around useful news and tips, and links, reply, build conversations, network, etc.

    No one likes the person who comes into the room and immediately starts to sell. That can come down the road, after trust has been developed, and maybe the other person actually asks YOU first.

    Mike Lizun
    http://www.twitter.com/mikelizun
  • Probably the best way to learn these skills is simply to follow people like Ann Handley (@marketingprofs) and Mack Collier (@mackcollier) and (yes, of course) @chrisbrogan for a few weeks on Twitter and just observe the flow of conversation, resource-sharing, and gentle promotion. Then go and do likewise (I could cite many others beside those three, of course - these are examples of people who've gained large followings on social media by embodying good "picnic practices")
  • When you're sharing stuff and building relationships, try to be consistent. That way you can become the "go to guy" for your niche. A great example of this is @tkpleslie on twitter, she owns the furniture space.
  • I have been thinking about this subject for a day or two. Thanks Chris for articulating it so well.
  • Oh, and one more idea on promoting. After reading and engaging someone's post, you can do more than just RT it, you can add your own spin in the tweet, which is what I just did when I sent out something like "How to Avoid Being That Guy by @chrisbrogan,... with link, et. al. The RT becomes a MT (my take). Chris, tell us if you don't like this idea, but I feel it can give a post broader appeal. I like when others do this with mine.
    Bridget
    @bcavanaugh
  • These are all great suggestions, Chris. I have one more: be yourself.
  • Ned
    As ever very thought provoking and eloquently written - I guess this is a whole new way of engaging with folk - and when moving toward the commercial a whole new style of relationship marketing. I think being "that guy/girl" is something to avoid at all times not just virtually.
  • I saw your tweet to this post, and it was compelling enough to make me click on over (although I click most of what you post anyway).
    I also agree with Christine Sierra where she points out "being real". I think that your real persona is quickly becoming like currency. If people feel like you're not "that guy" they'll not only put up with you, they'll accept you and usually help you.
    I also have to add "Go Sox!" and this time the exclamation mark is absolutely needed :-)
  • Thanks for this great post, Chris. I'm going to post a link to it for my students. (I'm teaching a workshop on marketing at the moment, so this is very timely!)

    Karina Fabian
  • Chris,

    I would add that it is important to thank those that help spread your message directly and indirectly. For example, a couple of months ago I was close to becoming a nuisance promoting an event I organized that benefited a cause I'm passionate about but also benefited me as well of course.

    To thank the community tangibly, we created a special "TweetSeats" section in the front row of the theater exclusively for our twitter friends. They were seen as special by the rest of the audience and of course the TweetSeat residents live tweeted the event too. Be creative to provide a tangible thank you for those that help because they are putting their reps on the line to help you.
  • Ed
    It's not just a style.
    You have to be real. Not act real.

    This is an excellent post.
    My concern is teaching the fakers how to act the part,
    and make it harder to distinguish genuine in a hurried world.

    Did I mention you have to be real, not act real.
    The crowd and trust agents will sniff you out anyway.
  • Thanks Chris! I especially find your “10 Ways to Build Relationships Before You Ask for Anything” list a must read. Bottom line, one must create value for the common good and the community at large before one can expect the social media crowd to welcome your promotion with open arms. Otherwise, your customers you have not built a necessary level of trust with those current and potentially new customers.
  • Chris, Perfect list, had to think hard to add to it. One more: simultaneously combine a personalized DM along with the RT to convey a more personal touch or insightful observation 1:1 along with your public shout. I find people appreciate both the crowd and personal approach. Helps avoid being "That guy" or "That girl" as the case may be ;-)
    @bcavanaugh
  • I've always lived in the world of "permission-based" and that world is a much better place when you have a value exchange between two parties. Without it you can not build trust and without trust you can't send the message you really want to send, or ask the questions that you really want an answer to. I like your analogy of the picnic Chris and agree that without the wine the gathering will not be the same.
  • This is a great post for the person who might unintentionally do these things (particularly those new to blogging), However, for those spammy, greasy types, I prefer they NOT read this. I don't want them to better their game. I like the fact that That Guy is So Obvious. It helps me to avoid his type all the better.
  • Anthony Caponiti
    Thanks Chris! I especially find your "10 Ways to Build Relationships Before You Ask for Anything" list a must read. Bottom line, one must create value for the common good and the community at large before one can expect the social media crowd to welcome your promotion with open arms. Otherwise, your customers you have not built a necessary level of trust with those current and potentially new customers.
  • Love the picnic analogy. And I think beyond providing the information people need (minus the exclamation points, as you noted) is showing you are a person behind all that information. I love talking to the person at the picnic who isn't afraid to be real - you point that out in #5 (Go Sox). They have real stories about real things in their life. There was nothing worse in corporate marketing than the anonymous marketer shoving anonymous messages down our throats - we now have a chance to change all that.

    Great post. Let's keep it real.
  • It's a shame when companies join twitter and just link out to their own blog every single tweet. They are missing out on a lot of connections.

    We ran a 1/2 hour contest on Twitter yesterday and gave away T-shirts for the first few people who DM'd us their T-shirt size. It worked great and now we have strengthened the connection.
  • Great post. I don't have anything to promote other than my blog but this is a good article for those who promote businesses and the like. I would definitely be more likely to check out what they have to offer if they'd made an effort to get to know me.

    Even in regards to the average blogger, those who have replied to my tweets and paid any attention to me are the blogs I check out more and maybe add to my blogroll.
  • Nice post. I think I've heard you say this before but it is also about listening intently and adding value to conversation. I also like the idea that asking questions rather making statements as one way to reduce your risk of being "that guy".
  • Sounds about right to me. I enjoy the information you point me to, and your Twitter-style!
  • Nice. This is a good list to remember for me when I talk about Social Media... I tend to talk about SocMedia some days as "that guy"... "HEY! I KNOW HOW TO USE THIS COOL NEW TOOL!!! WHO WANTS TO KNOW HOW TO USE THIS COOL NEW TOOL!!!" I don't tend to do it for profit, but I do love to talk about the shiny...
blog comments powered by Disqus

Previous post:

Next post: