Talk in Their Language

amazing post. you are talking about things that should be obvious… but we all know from our own experience that it is not only not obvious but many people dont really understand this at all! thnks!

Hi, Chris.

My first time here yet I am already wowed. :) You have a way of stressing a point that makes it easier to understand than those who spout a whole lot of words that just get lost as you read them. Now, I understand why a lot of people consider you as one of the gods in blogging.

And, yes, I agree with you. Talking with people in their own language is indeed very important. Not only will this let them know that you care enough to place yourself on the same level as them. It will also tell them that you are really interested to know more about them as persons instead of people you sell to.

 

The bulk of my background is in corporate communications, so this advice really resonates with me. You have got to use the appropriate language for the appropriate audience. Yet, it’s amazing how many people drop the ball on that.

We don’t speak to an audience of French people and present in English (without a translator), do we? Using the wrong words in the wrong vehicles is no different.

Have fun in Latvia, Chris!

Your exchange with Harold in person and on text reminds me of the core issue we can forget and that is to read the room. I have a friend who worked for a large phone company. One of his clients was a large construction company. Things were going well and his direct report was in town and wanted to meet some of my friend’s clients. On the morning they were to meet with the construction company, the “boss” met my friend in the hotel lobby all buttoned down in blue suit and crisp white shirt. My buddy told his boss to go back to his room, find a golf shirt and jeans. Shocked, the boss honored the request. 

Within ten minutes of meeting the president of the construction company – which, by the way, represented close to a six-figure annual account for my friend’s company – the language was not g-rated and my buddy’s boss was gobsmacked. What he didn’t know was my buddy had a strong relationship with the president of the construction company and read the room. 

We shouldn’t become someone we’re not, but we should pay attention to the context of the relationship. Or as Jeff Eisenberg so aptly put years ago, we need to speak to the dog, about what matters to the dog in the language of the dog.

 Very nice post…short, simple and quite aptly put. 

My goodness, look at your mini-me up there! Beautiful. So awesome that you and Harold have found a neat way to communicate. Lots of parents never figure that out.

My next phase in my work focuses on language and community building. When we have only word, sound and visual tracks to connect with people the language we use is of primary importance in how we build online communities that engage and ultimately purchase.

Taking your “grow bigger ears” idea wider, not only do I listen to my community, I take their actual words and generate my writing/blog posts/sales pages/product names from their words. In psychology we call that “mirroring” and it is a very powerful way to let others know you hear them and understand their needs/pain/fears/wants. And when we feel heard, we feel validated and want more from the person who takes the time to understand.

Clients and customers are human and all of us were 5 once.  Words and how they are shared matter in relationships- personal and business.

My son is eight and is a baseball fanatic. He will happily watch Yankee games and listen to sports radio all day. One of these days I am going to have to record him when he is talking about what trades he would make. He has a good head for baseball. Maybe a future Yankee I am raising.

I always like to ask how people want to be communicated with. I prefer phone, most like text (I am not a fan of text for many reasons) or others want email and some like Skype. I always want to communicate in the method that works best for everyone since that keeps everyone happiest.

My boss loves stats, so if I want to please him, I call then email him what he needs, and I include stats. Charts are even better for him. He is very visual, so he likes to see things, and I understand this.

I don’t need to see things. I want to hear. I prefer phone or Skype for that reason. There is also less chance of me thinking someone is being sarcastic if I can hear tone of voice. 

 Your 5 year old texts?!  Mine isn’t even wiping his butt very well yet.  I’m impressed.

I noticed this about myself about a year ago, because I was constantly frustrated that people just didn’t seem to understand me. And its not their fault, everyone brings to the table a completely different set of life experiences and knowledge sets.

I’ve been much more conscious of this and it’s helped me out a ton. Even during a conversation I’ll ask ‘would I understand this if I was looking at this from their perspective’. If anything, it’s forced me to slow down (I talk REALLY fast) and use simplicity over volumes of information.

Even this comment. Should someone care to read it or is it self serving? Partially the latter, but I hope others hear how it benefitted me and it inspires them to try this approach in addition to what Chris outlines above.

 Great post Chris.  I work in the technology industry that uses big words and complicated terminology which I often have to translate into layman’s terms in the content that I produce.  I have found making comparisons of how our technology works to everyday life helps to put things in perspective and creates an atmosphere that people can relate to.

One other thing that got me thinking about your post is the language that we speak with co-workers.  I have worked in many different environments often on teams with people who work in the same field and often found that even though we work together it doesn’t mean we understand each other.  Finding the balance and being able to interpret what a co-worker is saying (or what they mean) is so key to a well oiled organization.