I also find my grad school alum network (Babson) to be valuable. The other point I would add is that it is important to keep in touch with people regularly and not just when you need them. I try to proactively help people where possible and I have been blown away by the reciprocity. Some of this feels like common sense - i.e. be a nice person, and sow the seeds now for a future harvest.

My question — how do you handle nurturing a relationship with someone who seems to have a lot more to offer in terms of contacts or experience, without feeling like a total mooch?

Hi Chris,

I’m a late bloomer when it comes to using most social networks I’m afraid. I’ve used LinkedIn - and find it useful and profitable for a couple of years now, but I’ve only started with some of the others - notably Tweeter. So I’m at the point where I’m looking around and seeing what others are doing - carefully getting my feet wet.

But so far, I’m finding the networks fascinating, and there are specific projects that I’ve asked for help with - that I’ve gotten instant response. I think social networks have already become one of the ways we communicate and can get instant response - from people we do business with, people we want to do business with and people that may help us do business with others.

It’s not just about your own network, it’s about other people’s networks as well. I have a very strong and varied network, but my business partner has an amazing, but entirely different network from me. Combined, our network is outstanding.

Sometimes it’s not about who you know - it’s about who the people you know know.

Of course, connecting to someone else’s network is not without risks. I ONLY recommend people from my network who I have personal, professional experience with - people I know whose work, reputation and integrity will stand up.

I’ve been thinking quite a bit about the “nurture” part of social networking lately. It’s the most important part, but so often glossed over. (So I was v. happy to read this excellent post!)

In addition to your above bullets, I like to cross-thread my online social networks with some real world apps! Like:

At least one paper-based holiday or thank you note per year, when appropriate.

At least one annual coffee, lunch, dinner, beer-up, etc. when geographically feasible.

A phone call to gossip — uh, I mean, share social intelligence — when appropos, of course!

@Tinku - I’m a big fan of feeling that it comes around, and that everyone has something to give. Social software proves that all the time. Think about when someone asks for a digg to try and help a story move forward. Things like that are useful no matter the size and depth. And YOU, if you’re talking about you, have lots to give.

@Cheryl - that’s the way to do it. Great job!

@Sue - very good point and an interesting thing to consider. I don’t do as much of that, but I’ve seen people do that to me on LinkedIn often.

@Laura - your real world touches are perfect! I love them.

No doubt, keeping your network vibrant is at the heart of growth in nearly any endeavor. I think one of the greatest challenges is segmenting messages, though. I completely agree with the idea, but, in practice, it can be a lot harder to implement. Especially when we’re talking about broader messaging/conversation platforms.

Example, if you’re on twitter and you’d like to share a link with a bunch of people, it’d be nice to be able to target them directly. But, you pretty much have to share it with all of your followers, unless you want to DM each person, which can become overly burdensome pretty quickly.

Twitter doesn’t yet allow you to set up groups, though I’ve heard some twitter clients do. But, to make segmenting messages work, we’ve all got to put in the extra effort to somehow segment our networks and relationships up front. Not always an easy task, but in the end, I think it makes for a far more intelligent and useful network.

And, hopefully, the rumors about being able to set up groups in twitter will be true.

Chris,

I really enjoy your style of writing. Not so techy that I want to make fun of your nerdiness and not some elementary that you are wasting all of our time. I have sent many a Social Media rookie to your site and will send more to this post. Thanks I appreciate it.

I do send personal messages to my twitter followers…connecting on a more personal level seems to me like it deepens the relationships. Twitter’s not my whole network, though, and followers opt-in.

Great post, Chris. I am now working diligent ly on maintaining and growing my network. Just found your blog and my daily efforts have already paid off! I like Twitter, also use LInkedIn & Facebook a lot, as well as good old fashioned networking events.

I send often follow-up emails to my contacts, but is there a way to sent a a templated email with a personalized greeting (ex: Dear ??????,) to a list of people? Do you know of any good tools? I keep my contact list in Gmail.

@cody - Thanks so very much. Glad I’m hitting the right note.

@Alanna - I send plenty of personal twitter messages, but at nearly 11,000 followers, I can’t do that kind of personal touch all the time (it would drown out actual content). That said, I try to maintain personal touches with the people I know better than not.

@Nicolas - I use BlueSkyFactory to send out more than one email. There are mail merge apps but they don’t work on Gmail in the cloud. If you bring gmail down into your desktop mail client you can use templates there.

I work for Hilton, so I meet a lot of people with big corporations,ie: IBM, Harris Corp, AICPA, Fidelity and many others. I have been given many business cards and those lead to new LinkedIn connections as well as follow up emails and other endless possibilities.
Many of these connections I have followed up with and emailed copies of my resume and have corresponded with on a regular basis. These new connections are the ones you describe as the ones that if you were to lose your job tomorrow how would they help you. These people have experienced my work and what I do, if they liked it they will remember who you are and how well you work. Connections matter, and people remember. Using the connections as you say Chris is key.

Good post with very relevant and truthful info!

You’re like the master gardener, Chris. The tools are all here, like soil. The seeds are being planted and nurtured. I just sent a link of this blog post to the 2 fabulous gals who are helping me in the office and with this networking, which for small business/organization, is no small task. I find staying in touch and blurring boundaries is the name of the game today. Cold, industrialism is on the “out” list. Your work here is slow and meaningful, it seems to me, and I am getting a great deal of value from your passion and hard work. Many thanks, again, for all you do.

[…] Read the rest of this fascinating article in Chris Brogan’s Blog […]

This is a troublesome post. Our network needs to develop organically and not be driven by the same motivation that a direct mail company’ uses to keep a clean mailing list. I get tons of folks “checking in” with me regularly to see how things are going. Most are simply checking to see if there are opportunities for any new business. They, like spoiled Kimchi, are very noticeable and avoided. If you want to build a network that matters, then focus on being genuine, transparent, and real.

Chris,

I spend an hour or two a week checking in with my networks. In fact, that is why I am here with you today. Using NewsGator, I recognized it has been a while since I last visited, read and commented. Thank you for the wonderful tips and the reminders we need to continue reaching out.

[…] Brogan had a great post on the topic this morning. The Vital Importance of Your Network July 23, […]

This post is confusing to me. Not because of content…but because of context. Perhaps the timing. In this post you discuss the importance of your network and reaching out to and keeping them informed.

However, your post the other day was basically a “leave me alone” post. How is that nurturing or cultivating your network? How is this positive?

I am sure you are drowning in a pool of constant contact with your network or audience. But who opened that door?

Hi Bigtony– you’ve never needed a day to catch up? They’re not exclusive. I was being open and honest with my needs.

I’m here today. I’ve been here for over 10 years. Will be here in the future.

Big networks are great. Do you touch EVERYONE every day? No f-ing way.

Good post, Chris, and I especially like what you say about (a) putting in way more than you ever expect to get (this is well in line with Gary Vaynerchuk’s approach) and (b) not pounding your network with trivia.

A couple of things I would add here:

1. When you build your network constantly over time, you have it ready for when you really need it (esp. when you’re looking for a new job), AND you never give the impression that you’re suddenly looking for a new job, because there’s no strange blip in your network behavior. The easiest tipoff in the world that someone’s looking for a new job is when you see the LinkedIn notifications that they’re adding 40 people a day to their contact list.

2. It’s easy to get into a rut where you talk a lot with the same few people day in and day out. But by cultivating a network in the way you recommend, you can spread the love (I’m not really being tongue-in-cheek there) over a broader group of people. Sure, we’ll always have our inner-circle friends who do, and should, get most of our attention. But we can interact with — and offer help to — lots of acquaintances in our network who might benefit from a little bit of encouragement, a helpful piece of knowledge, an introduction to the right person, or whatever.

Great advice, Tim. I like your point of view on seeing people add LinkedIn numbers in droves.

Hey Chris and Tim,

I just wanted to inject something about adding people in droves to LinkedIn. I’m pretty busy all the the time, but I know how important it is to network - and living here in France makes it a little difficult to attend many meetings or seminars outside of the EU. So I schedule one day a month for networking. Sometimes for me, that means working on adding new LinkedIn contacts - and so I might add 40 - or more names to my network in that day.

This month it happens to be Twitter and Facebook. Maybe I’m the only one who schedules it this way, but it’s got nothing to do with job hunting or “needing” anything from my network. And throughout the rest of the month I schedule in time to keep in touch with people who are already in my network.

Just wanted to add another point of view to how networking can be done…

Cheryl — Let me be quick to acknowledge that adding folks in droves doesn’t *necessarily* mean they’re looking to switch jobs. I’ve just seen it happen a number of times: someone who adds a contact now and then suddenly starts adding 10 or 15 contacts every day — obviously paying far more attention to it, day after day, than they ever have in the past. And then, magically, a few weeks later you find out that they’re switching jobs. It’s the sudden divergence of pattern that I’m talking about.

And, by the way, I’m a big advocate for “Whatever works” in social media generally. I don’t think there’s a “right” way to do most things (beyond the basic-basics of “Be yourself” and so on) — this is just a pattern I and others have noticed.

[…] why I say that, but it’s also true for people in all areas of business. Think about this:The Vital Importance of Your Network | chrisbrogan.com, Jul […]

This post really hit home for me, as so many of yours usually do. I was recently regretting that I let my network slip. So I ramped up efforts and I’m getting back into a regular routine.

One of the great things about reconnecting with my “people” and reaching out to new ones is that it’s so energizing. Every time I dive back into networking, after a lapse, I get all fired up. You’d think I’d remember that feeling, and not be so neglectful.

Thanks for nudging me a little more,

Meg

[…] The Vital Importance of Your Network | chrisbrogan.com Keep Your Network Alive (tags: networking social) […]

[…] Important?It is becoming obvious that social networks are important. Chris Brogan talks about the vital importance of your network and even ventures to state that companies (employers) will value your person networks. And, because […]

[…] Important? It is becoming obvious that social networks are important. Chris Brogan talks about the vital importance of your network and even ventures to state that companies (employers) will value your person networks. And, because […]

[…] The Vital Importance of Your Network […]

I’ve basically got four networks, I think–Art, Writing, Social Media, and Personal (family, friends, neighbors). Some are online or offline more than others; some overlap; but each has its own great personality.

The one thing that stood out with me in this post is *back up the contacts list.* I need to work on that!

[…] the content oriented sites. Again, how you use your network is immensely important. Chris Brogan explained the vital importance of your network last week. In the post Chris explains that using and managing the network are the […]

I read a very fearful undertone in this post. How about just doing your best (quite likely while working with others) and expect other people to value you for this (if not in the short-run, then in the long run)?

I really dislike networking for the sake of networking, keeping friends for the sake of having friends. If you need to go alone at some point in your life, go alone.

Of course, in most countries they let you die on the streets if you don’t have money, so it’s handy to have some money in the bank for this. But keeping your expenses low helps you remain independent to a large degree.

Chris,

Spokeo.com can help you understand your network more easily. You can find updates from your friends from _all_ networks in one interface, instead of checking on LinkedIn, Facebook, Friendfeed, etc separately. It will also find activity across networks you probably don’t check, since it reaches out to 40 networks.

Your 20 minutes a day observing your personal network will be utilized much more efficiently with this service. Give it a go and let me know what you think.

@Meryn Stol: The problem with “just doing your best . . . and expect other people to value you for this” is that it assumes that others can recognize your best when you do it. It’s an easy assumption to make for as long as we’re inside our own sphere of activity, but outside polling often reveals that even our good friends aren’t really aware of what we’re doing.

Mind you, doing your best is WAY more important than networking — but in many cases it simply doesn’t bear fruit to do the work and expect that the world will realize it without some judicious p.r. efforts on your own part.

Maybe the old saw had it right:

Early to bed, early to rise,
work like hell, and ADVERTISE.

[…] Important? It is becoming obvious that social networks are important. Chris Brogan talks about the vital importance of your network and even ventures to state that companies (employers) will value your person networks. And, because […]

[…] The vital importance of your network […]