Threaten Yourself With Change
Yesterday, I met with the second most intimidating person I’ve ever worked with. We discussed a job opporutnity within my company, one that I feel passionate about, but that will be a stretch goal for me. Though some of the job is within my domain of knowledge, there’s plenty that is quite outside my knowledge, experience, or full understanding.
In other words, I’m really going to have to work to make this happen.
It is so powerful to threaten yourself with something new. Leaping off the pier into unknown waters is quite a wake-up call to your senses. There’s something to learn from all this, with regards to your own self-improvement:
Evolution Requires Discomfort
Are you sick of the same job? What is motivating you to do something different? Most of us have created callouses around the parts of our life that are uncomfortable, even though the pain points still exist, and even though we might feel better if we moved on to something that fit us more appropriately.
It goes against human nature to want to feel pain, but that’s exactly what you have to do to move yourself forward. It doesn’t have to be life-threatening pain. You might not have to quit your job, shave your head, and denounce bathing. Maybe you just have to choose something simple, like, I will not eat food from a drive-thru ever again.
The Art of the Start
Threatening yourself really requires that you break from the old. You have to pick a path and set out, and that requires STARTING. Starting is the primary ingredient of doing something different. Don’t believe me?
For almost 15 years, I did nothing about my weight except watch it go up. On the first day of doing something, here’s what I did: I wrote down all the reasons why I knew I had to make those changes. The next day, I looked over the nutrition info in the book I decided to choose to follow. That was it. I just looked. But it was the start.
Escape Velocity
Your life is a series of gravities. You are with the company you’re with and that has some gravity. You are with the relationships you have, and that has some gravity. Your habits are all gravities unto themselves. Any of them require you to achieve escape velocity to break out of the existing orbit.
I’m telling you, it’s not easy. You have to build up a fire in your internal engines to make a change. That’s just one part of the mix. Build up the fire, but you’ve gotta set your sights on a star. You have to point in a direction, and not just plan to shake free. What good is a new gravity and a new orbit if you haven’t picked it?
Second Star on the Right
The plans you make that promote change don’t have to be grand. In my case, I decided to switch roles within the same company. It’s not all that uncomfortable. I might or might not get the job, but when I do, it’ll mean just a different desk, different work to do, and a different boss. Lots of the equation stays the same.
So, you don’t have to shoot the moon. You can pick little changes, but they have to be plans where you’re talking in terms of where you’re going, now where you’ve been.
“I want to lose weight” is a sucky banner. “I want to improve my flexibility, build my aerobic health, and fit into the next size of clothes down from today” really rocks. It’s all about where you’re going, not where you’ve been.
Always try to plan with a forward-facing goal, not a break with the past.
Change for Change’s Sake
Warning, you can get in the silly loop of making changes for no reason at all. This *feels* like you’re moving forward, but really, you’re just eating up time in a new way. It’s really no better than just sitting around watching TV. It’s important that you consider the changes you want to make, and decide if this is really going to help you achieve whatever it is you think matters most to your life.
And maybe that’s a big bite to take. Hell, look at the smaller goals in your life. What would you change if you knew it’d make your life better, but in a small way?
Here’s one: I want to have no debt on my credit card by the end of the year. To that end, I have to make changes that feel ouchy, but that will get me there. It’s change. It’s going towards a goal (debt-free card). It will hurt and require habit changes to accomplish. It’s not earth-shattering.
What kinds of goals can you see threatening yourself with over the next few months? What would be the FIRST step you’d take? And how will you keep that momentum?
tags: self-improvement, career, health, change
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Comments
You’ve got a great point, Roger. It’s not just about the end goal of a weight. I wonder why stop at two axis? axises? axes? (cough cough)
I think there are all kinds of ways to measure. I personally don’t need a time-set goal, as I think the health benefits are more important than hitting a deadline. Deadlines make me feel bad about myself, or worse, if the deadline is fake and self-imposed, I don’t think it’s helpful to my efforts to stay motivated.
What other angles could we use?
Great post, Chris. It’s all to easy to get comfortable, and not stimulate change. That’s part of why I’m having so much fun these days. You remind me of why I’ve been doing things like creating and presenting seminars, etc. Thanks!
“I want to lose weight” is a sucky banner. “I want to improve my flexibility, build my aerobic health, and fit into the next size of clothes down from today” really rocks.
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I agree that “I want to lose weight” is not a goal- it’s just hot air, but I would also suggest that the other three items you mention are better because they are more specific, but still not fully sufficient
I believe a goal must be two dimensional. You must have measurability along the acheivement axis- but without a timeline for success, the acheivement axis has no scale.
“I finally lost twenty pounds!” is hardly valuable if the loss is due to an octeganarians lack of appetite and muscle tone loss.
What do you think?