Tune Up Your Personal Message

June 17, 2009 · Comments

chris brogan I’m fortunate to attend (and speak at) several conferences a year. I get to see many people represent themselves, both live and online. In so doing, there are lots of instances where I notice how someone talks — most often about him- or herself — where if I had a tape recorder, I imagine he or she would flinch. I’ve collected a few thoughts on it. Maybe this will help, if you apply it to how you present yourself at events or online.

Some Thoughts About Your Speaking to Consider

  • “The consumer is not a moron, she is your wife.” – David Ogilvy. Replace consumer with “audience,” and you’ll see sin #1. I see many speakers treat the audience like they’re stupid. I presume my audience is smarter than me, and they’re just looking to me for brush-ups. Mitch Joel is great at making me feel like he’s just helping me.
  • There goes my hero. If your stories are about how amazing you are, they get old fast. If you want to feel like the hero, tell stories about the success of your clients or others. Rich Ullman from Ripple6 did a great job of talking about empowering others at the Inbound Marketing Summit.
  • Starving? Try humble pie. Wow, it’s rough when you brag. We can’t keep this fake smile on for as long as you can talk about you. Want to see humble in action? Spend time with Mack Collier. He’s almost too humble, he’s so awesome.
  • Get us on your side. Sometimes, speaking is about building the relationship before you deliver the goods. I like people who can connect with me and who make me feel like I’m with them. I like Ann Handley from MarketingProfs.
  • Leave the namedropping home. There’s a fine line between calling out great people doing fine work and dropping names. Often times, I can only say that it’s all in how you relate the name. Hell, *I* do this wrong sometimes (often?). Connecting great minds to your presentation is a wonderful thing. Liz Strauss is a powerhouse of positive connectivity.
  • It’s easy to sleep at events. Keep us up. It’s (almost) a requirement that you be vibrant. Speak clearly, succinctly, and be conscious of our energy levels. I’ve had the pleasure of listening to Amber Naslund quite often, and she brings it. You can’t get more energy and participatory spirit.
  • Payload never hurts. There are some great speakers who never say anything useful. (I do this sometimes. I get you excited, but don’t give you anything to do.) Best person for delivering actionable next steps? Christopher S. Penn. When he and I go places together, people leave thinking I’m nice, and that Penn’s brilliant.

I’m not nearly perfect. I try to learn all the time. I recently (well, a few months ago) took some advice from some well-meaning friends who told me that even though it’s interesting to watch me freeform my presentations, my audience wasn’t really along for the ride. I went back to slides, and everything got better again. Others have taught me what they like and don’t like about how I carry myself. (Believe me, I’m at no shortage of critics).

My intentions with this piece are to have you think about yourself and how what you’re saying might impact how people are perceiving you. Putting up unintentional roadblocks to your own success might not be useful. Here’s hoping that we all improve as we go.

What about you? What else are you working on with how you conduct yourself, how you speak, how you create?

Photo credit bobby-james

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  • Great post, Chris. You've done a remarkable job of representing yourself through your public speaking, writing and the rest of the many communication channel you seem to use with such ease. And it's great that you continue to give back to the rest of us in your ever-expanding community. Thank you for walking the walk!
  • Great summary Chris - thanks for that. I also speak in public often, in addition to your do's and don'ts I always try to have some entertainment going. This usually takes the format of some anecdote, often mildly funny, and/or some clean joke on the topic being covered in the speech. Oftentimes I sit in audiences that think that the guy on the stage is probably very knowledgeable but - boy - is he boring or what? It could be the style of delivery, the tone of voice. Sometimes it's just a boring person. So I try not to be boring when I speak. Finally, sometimes the audience needs to be "awaken" with some sort of provocative statement - that usually gets the brains going. Careful not to overdo it though - you'll loose empathy with them. Cheers - twitter.com/giannianchois
  • JerrannaCan
    Good Morning Chris-
    I found this very helpful and I thank you again for your insight. You asked what we (your audience) are working on. For me, it's just being myself and using real words instead of marketing speak. It's not helpful when we just regurgitate words we read or heard that we don't own and leave our audience asking - what the heck does that mean? So for me, I am working on keeping it real in the business world. I have no problem doing that everywhere else, so why put up a front now?

    Peace.
    Jerranna Cannady
  • whitneyhoffman
    One of your best qualities is that you're always looking to improve and help others with lessons you've learned at the same time. I have been reading Brain Rules by Dr. John Medina, and there's a rough ten minute rule for attention. You have about ten minutes in a presentation before people's attention starts to wander- that's the mark when you have to do something to bring their attention back on track, most importantly, by making something emotionally relevant to the audience- tell a story, give a take home point- something that delivers and then lets them refocus on the next chunk of information you're going to give.
    Attention and focus is biological, and part of remembering that our audience is human is also giving them information in the chunks they can most likely use and process.
  • This is really helpful - thank you! Would you be willing to delve a little deeper on this topic in another post, with some written examples of the good and the not so good? I am checking out the people you mentioned though! :)
  • Really great ideas, Chris. Thanks for sharing them. I'm always impressed with how much and how often you're willing to share what you've learned with others. As part of your online audience, I appreciate that very much.
  • swami rodgersd G.
    It's not "Smarter than me." It's "Smarter than I."
  • swami rodgersd G.
    The most powerful slide in PowerPount is the blank screen. The most powerful button? "B" Try pressing it during your next presentation and give people one of those powerful blank screens.

    Dude!
  • For me, there is a certain size audience that really works for free-form. That's when I have 30-40 folks who are really working on their platform development as writers. If the size goes beyond that then the crowd is more like sitting back and thinking, "Okay, I'm here. Dazzle me." You can just feel the shift in attitude. Last conference, I had my ideal sized audience, no slides and it went well. (Except I needed a better handout for one of my talks.) Next conference, I will go with slides, anticipating the second kind of audience. Once you get to the point where you just have large audiences, like you do, Chris, I think the reality is that people want that "Wow, that was brilliant" experience. There are a lot of great speakers out there in the world and I have a long way to go. But I learn the most from personal experience and responding to what went well and what could go better.
  • mattkelly
    People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.
  • Chris thanks for the mention, you are too kind. This post actually ties into some recent conversations I've had with others about how they perceive people offline, that they first 'met' online.
  • Nice post,

    Maybe something more basic but often overlooked, I think body language is extremely important.
    You don't want to come over as being stiff as a trunk.

    Gestures add a lot of energy to your speaking, the same way that a speaker has to pay attention to his intonation. I suppose that each one of us has to find the right balance between both.
    As giannianchois said, the style of delivery is key.
  • Way to name drop in each of your points! =P

    Seriously, great advice that can be applied to a lot more than just speaking at events. Everytime you're speaking in a public medium, whether it's in a conference, on twitter, on your blog or anywhere else, it's important to be humble. If you're doing it right, you shouldn't have to convince people to be impressed with you.

    Dave
  • AmberNaslund
    Ah, thank you Chris. Coming from you, that's a great compliment and I really appreciate it.

    Part of what has to resonate, in my mind, is that you're really passionate about what you're saying. And it's never about you. It's about what the audience walks away with, whether it's the golden nugget idea, or the affirmation that they're on the right track, or just a re-energized sense of excitement about their jobs. All of them are valuable for different reasons.

    You're a great example of someone who's there for the audience, not the other way around. Thanks for always sharing your knowledge and lessons.
  • Thanks so much for the shout here, Chris. As Amber says, coming from you.. well, you know. ; )

    What I've recently realized (and you reinforce it here, in this post and others... always) is that we DO always have to be open to learning from our experiences. So maybe you evolve your speaking style, you learn how to do your job better, you watch and listen and take away from those around you (both those who offer direct advice and those who simply observe). However we might appear to be at the top of your career, or your field, or whatever... there's never a point where we can't learn something, from someone, and often in surprising places.

    When you are done learning, really... it's time to get out, move on, till new soil. Haven't we all listened to speakers who were "done"? Who have stopped learning,and it's obvious that they aren't interested in learning anything new? I know I have.... !

    p.s. Agree on all your points above (and the folks you name). But the bit about Chris Penn really made me smile... because damn, that dude IS brilliant!
  • Chris, your column is spot-on. I have seen speakers do everything from "brag" that they don't know anything about the industry they're speaking to (always a bad idea) to speakers who use unintelligible slides and then say, "I'm sorry this is an eye chart" as if that makes up for it. I myself have a multitude of speaking sins, but I try to improve each time and routinely fatten myself up with some humble pie. Your first point is indeed the most important -- believing that your audience is more brilliant than the person holding the microphone.
  • Chris, thanks so much for reminding me of all the conferences I've attended and keep attending! With regards to "sleeping problem", I remember one conference on Renaissance art: I was studying the subject, but I couldn't help yawning, even though the talks were interesting overall.

    I very much agree with the point that the speaker has to be vibrant. I had the pleasure of listening to Peter Fisk at London Book Fair in 2007 - to this day he is probably the epitome of speaker's vibe to me, although I can think of another couple of examples.

    When meeting offline, I usually do what exactly what you suggested in another post here: I listen. But presenting something to an audience is trickier. I recently saw myself in several situations when I had to offer a veritable business solution whilst explaining it in the plainest layman's terms. In fact, solution was explained in slides; "explaining" had to be done during the presentation itself. I've heard of a reverse example when someone went to pitch a service to the client who knew the service inside out through previous experience.

    In fact, this may be a question for you to respond to: how to tailor pitches and talks ahead of presentations? I suppose it is easier when a client is already doing something in the sphere you are looking to make a service offer. But here in the UK we often find that clients are not that knowledgeable, so often your offer is seeing them doing something "from scratch". So, assuming that you don't know how well a prospective client is sufficiently aware, how do you best handle your "knowledge" and their "ignorance"? (inverted commas because it may be the other way around :)) ).

    As always, thanks for a great post :)

    Julia
  • lisahickey
    Hi Julia, before making any kind of speech or presentation, I always try to discover just what the audience’s knowledge level is. I’ve been known to get an attendee list ahead of time and look up every single person who will be in the room. I spend a bit of time looking at big picture experience levels and backgrounds, but even more helpful is to find out what the people in the audience has been *saying* about the topic at hand. Are people talking about the issues I’m going to be talking about? Are any of them out there asking questions I can answer? This forces me to look at the presentation as I would a *conversation*, instead of as a “here’s what I know, take it or leave it”. With smaller groups, I also try to ask a couple of questions up front that help me gauge their level of expertise, and I adapt what I’m saying accordingly. Finally, there’s a difference between being “insightful” and being “complicated”. No matter how savvy the audience, I try to distill my thinking into “actionable insights”. What can I give my audience that will create better results for them than what they were doing before? In fact, the more knowledgable the audience, the >less< I have to speak about the process that got me to those insights. Hope that helps! Good luck! Lisa
  • My rule of thumb for public speaking? Check your dignity at the door.

    If you worry too much about how you come across, you come across as someone who worries about how they come across. In other words, be yourself, be real.
  • You're so right about Christopher Penn. I've never heard him speak and not walked away with something truly actionable.
  • "It’s easy to sleep at events. Keep us up." Oh god it's soooo true.

    Not to mention how it applies to any presentation platform: blogging, microblogging, speeches, interviews, etc. Thanks for "keeping us up" on your blog :)
  • Thanks Chris for the reminder and examples. Message: show up, connect, be present for and with
    the other person. Nice.
  • Thanks for your thoughts on this, Chris. As someone new to blogging, I definitely need to think about some of your points...may have already stumbled a couple of times! But as you said, always learning. Looking forward to spending some time with the links/people you mentioned.
  • Gina Kay Landis
    I recall that with regard to how one carries oneself: a. being a dancin' fool in my younger days helps with body carriage, b. going to a little bit of modeling school helps with it too, 'specially that "catwalk walk" heh and c. Thanks to my sister, who, painfully shy throughout much of her life, despite being an extrovert personality, told me once - "always - ALWAYS carry your head high." Implicit in her advice: It doesn't matter where someone comes from, what they have or haven't done. Worth is intrinsic - exhibit the confidence that you are worthwhile.

    Now, I don't know and don't venture to guess what advice you have received. There's all sorts of advice out there, some good, some bad. You're a smart guy who can winnow out the wheat from the chaff, to quote an old chestnut.

    For me, I'm working on the fact that I have felt quite voiceless (nowhere to express vocally what I like, know, feel etc.) for the past few years. Much of my meaningful expression has been in writing. When I have an opportunity to speak at length or for moments at a time, I try to not push ALL of what I like, know, feel out at the same time, becoming breathless. Moderating tone, speed, breath all is important. I study a book on speaking, practice breathing and tone and range by taking singing lessons, teach or speak when I can and am merciless about reviewing how I did and how it could be better, all the while giving myself grace because I am, after all, human.

    Also, I'm slowly losing these extra lbs I have accumulated. Exercising helps, even Facercising (via Carole Maggio), and am looking into no Lipo-Lipo self-care by Carole.

    We can always look, perform, "be" better.

    Being comfortable with ourselves, giving ourselves grace as we become what we envision is important, too.
  • Thanks Chris for sharing personal experience.
    Yesterday I was at a conference and during networking time, I understood how important it is to be a good listener.Give to others the importance they deserve and they will give you back what you deserve too.Connect to people, stay natural and honest is the step before trying "deliver the goods" help me get people attention.
    Next time, I will forget my namedropping at home :)
  • Great post. I enjoy speaking and find that your list is very helpful. I also try to involve my audience as much as possible by asking questions and getting them to participate throughout the program. This helps with the sleep factor :) and also gets them to connect with your personality and what you're saying. Thanks for sharing your insight!
  • Although speaking is ranked ahead of death in the list of fears, it is the best way to build your personal brand because it allows you to deliver a full communication. The best public speakers are authentic - they give themselves the permission and the mandate to be themselves - integrating their greatest strengths into their presentations.

    If you are creative, inject that into your style and slides, if you are organized, structure your content in a way that impresses your audience, etc. When you are being yourself, you will deliver a great presentation and do a lot for your personal brand.

    Thanks for the valuable post, Chris.

    Best.
    William
    www.williamarruda.com
  • Besides, the tips or thoughts on speaking - Thank you for the introduction to blogs with very useful info.
  • One of the best suggestions I've received (from another great public speaker like yourself - Ed Schipul - www.twitter.com/eschipul) is to connect with the audience before your presentation if possible. By asking what they want to get out of it, knowing some audience member names and already having some rapport with even just a couple of attendees, you're starting out your presentation with a much stronger and more personal audience focus.

    The stressful side of this is sometimes you learn literally moments before that audience expectations of your presentation may not match what the coordinators had in mind. So then it's time to think on your feet and stay flexible. This has helped me SO much.

    Love your tips!! Humility and shining the spotlight on others goes oh-so-far.
  • Chris,

    You represent what we need more of...humble, giving professionals who yearn to learn. I love reading your blog posts--they are so down to earth, yet so insightful. Keeps me amped about learning and sharing what I know about the social web.

    Public Speaking is an art--and each speaker is an artist. Critics hover around art...keep creating sound content...and your mindshare keep on growing.


    Best,

    Coretta Jackson, MBA
    @businessethos
    @corettajackson
  • Good points. For more comprehensive information about the art and science of speaking, folks should investigate National Speakers Association www.nsaspeaker.com. It is the association for professional speakers.
    Rob
    @shorespeak
  • Mark
    Chris, you wet my appetite for experiencing how dynamic and amazing the speakers you reference can be. When I followed a couple of links it was to a blog of the written word. Would have been better to link to a video that showcased the reasons for your admiration.
  • An awesome post Chris.
    This is becoming an increasingly difficult world to present in, especially when there are so many different media to have to navigate.
  • Another problem presenters face is audience participation--that is, if you want it. If you want do want it, a big part of presenting is asking the right questions at the right time. The art of asking questions crosses over into so many areas of work and life that it is one we should all improve on and try incorporating more into our presentations. Audience participation is definitely one way to keep them awake during your presentation!
  • You went back to the slides.

    My question is do you have a concrete speech planned out and is it useful to have one? I have only really spoke publicly twice other then in college when I had too. I always just used the slides.

    Is this what they teach you at something like ToastMasters? Just wondering.
  • I always love your speaking posts Chris - there's always something I take away from them. Thanks - and yeah, every one of those people is amazing too. The coolest thing about speaking at any conference for me is that I also get to go listen to everyone else. You included! :)
  • Ellen Reddick
    Thank you Chris, this is very important inforamtion for people today.
    I coach and teach business etiquette and this article is perfect to pass along.
    May I share with clients?
  • Great post! I especially like the piece about being humble and understanding that you're audience is a lot smarter than you think.
  • Chris, thanks for this post. I will be embarking on my first speaking engagement with 3 more closely following. I have been in the entertainment industry so am no stranger to speaking however I am a newbie in the social media space.

    It's encouraging to see you still question and learn with each (incredible) session you lead. I'm hoping my past in stand-up comedy will make up for the holes in my tech know how!
  • ML Vanessa
    You never stop learning how to make your presentation of yourself better, and tweaking what doesn't work. It's also a costly mistake to assume that the same technique will work at every show or presentation. It's great to know your audience. I too agree that you should not treat your listeners as incompetent people but as knowledgeable individuals looking to further their understanding from you.
  • Thanks, Chris. I really enjoyed this article. Everything you said rang true!
  • Great post! Speakers sometimes are so focused on getting their point across they neglect to put themselves in the shoes of the audience. Thanks for sharing these excellent tips.
  • Having been a successful private speaker for 40 plus years, I joined Toastmaster.

    There they teach you to speech from the heart and include personal stories; know your audience; speak at an 8th grade level; use good body language; vocal variety; and have a good opening, body, and conclusion.

    A few observations I have are:

    If you speak to much about yourself ... it sound Me Me Me.

    Speaking at a grade 8 level, restricts talking more descriptively.

    At times I like to step outside the box and talk about complicated subjects, to give the audience a challenge and get them thinking outside the box to. I may lose some of the audience, but I usually succeed in get the remained stimulated, whether they agree with me or not.

    The part about knowing your audience, I feel by carefully choosing the title of your speech, you immediately set their expectations.

    Of course, if I am talking to a group of middle school kids, or a group of senior citizens, I adjust my subject.
  • tonilamb
    I can definately relate to your post. I've been learning Internet marketing for about a year now and I'll have to say that one of my most challenging lessons, is how I conduct myself online. I worry about what I say, if I'm using the right words, am I offending anyone, and last but not least, do I know enough about a subject to jump in a conversation on a social media site. If I've learned anything about Internet marketing is this: Your online presence is a big part of Internet marketing and this is one step that should never be labeled as not important! It's quite the opposite.
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