Video- Find Your Voice in Business

Good take. When talking about “being yourself” in business though, we already have been shown how to move, speak and behave in a given social circle – maybe by our parents. Otherwise we won’t even be accepted to enter. So, the only thing we do when being ourselves, we cautous push the boundaries of the social circle we already made us to be able to enter.

As a speaker, I would want people to love me or hate me. If they have a strong feeling about what I said, then I have connected with them on some level. If I connected with them then I made them think and I was successful.

It seems to me that what’s really being discussed here is passion and how to avoid it being attenuated unnecessarily. I can’t say that I disagree with the whole idea of being 100% who you are all the time as a means to this end. Here’s my take on it, though: passion is fuel. At best, it’s an engine. What passion doesn’t tend to do so well is steer. Passion will always go forward even if it’s aimed for the rocks. That’s why ships have crews and captains and navigation systems: to keep all that power on course.

To Susan’s point, I think a little restraint (i.e., decorum, manners, civility and so on) provides a helpful balance and doesn’t necessarily have to sap passion. Study the charts when you’re navigating around people and you’ll likely stay afloat much longer. Your passion will have a better chance of survival in the long run because you haven’t essentially sabotaged yourself by being so full-on “This is who I am so deal with it!” authentic all the time that you lose more friends than you make.

Consider that some of your colleagues and potential clients are being 100% authentic and true to themselves when they become uncomfortable because of something you say or do. That may be an acceptable risk to you. Maybe it’s worth it in the long run to take those chances. I get that, too. I’m not a huge fan of modifying my own behavior. For example, I probably use the word ‘fuck’ more often than I ought (like right then). It all depends on the situation, your goals, whether or not you’re a completely banzai mofo with “FTW” tattooed on your forehead, etc.

The concept of just showing up and being real is more than a little scary for some people. You’re absolutely right about it being easier to be the same person all the time instead of trying to change your persona to fit the situation.

When I saw myself behaving better with my coworkers than my children, I made a conscious decision to be the same person all the time.

Being yourself saves time, saves energy and in the long run saves face.

@Jon Glassett – that’s a really swell analogy. I love it. Brilliant, actually!

Well, let’s face it business marketing has far long been “find out target group and fit in” to get sales. I have seen people do this in their personal and professional lives as well. Sure it fine and great at all. Sometimes it makes sales at the business level, but usually it is seen through – let’s face it how many energy companies are truly “green” but they are trying to send a message that they are, and they care….yeah, right…then stop using the old methods, come up with something innovative that is inexpensive, renewable and available for mass consumption….and if you can’t, stop pretending you can and that you are green because you are “trying”.

People are the same way – it was always fun on the Friday night outings at one job I held too many years ago. You would see a completely different side of people….a WAY different side.

Now I don’t read comics much, but Two-Face seems a good match here. Never know who you are or what you are.

You know what ticks me off the most? All the little people that get so hurt because of our differences – different language, different cultures, different history, different customs and different personalities.

Is it me, or does it seem the same people that proclaim “Celebrate Diversity” are generally the same crowd who don’t know who they are themselves??? So when someone is true to their voice and is being their own person, it seems highly offensive to that crowd.

Maybe that’s why I fail in the world so bad – if I offend someone by being different, I feel they can bug off or get over it….even if I lose the sale….I would rather build on WHO I am and WHAT I am with a good solid foundation rather than who I am NOT and what I am NOT and have my castle wash away because the foundation is so wishy-washy because one pillar was stone and the next sand.

There is a compelling business case for being who you are.

In a nutshell, if being who you are isn’t working, you know what to change. You can test yourself against your audience.

For example: I think I’m smart, but nobody reads my blog. Either it’s boring, not informative or invisible. Or maybe all three. So “smart” isn’t enough.

But negative results are still results, and being myself gives me a strong base to work from.

Very Insightful Chris, and I concur 100%. Not only does “being yourself” allow you a consistency in form and function, but it also helps to effortlessly build and maintain your own personal brand. Conflicting persona’s can often lead to a deterioration of both, ones personal character, and the respect and light in which your colleagues view you, not to mention that it gets insanely hard after a certain period of time. I’m pretty sure you’re familiar with Daniel Schawbel and his personal branding blog, which I feel like I am becoming an evangelist for as each day passes but it all boils down to being yourself and highlighting the uniqueness of your character (albeit within acceptable norms, not necessarily societal) as your greatest strength.

Tajdar O. Chaudry

Chris–
You tried to tell me this at BlogWorld. I don’t know why for most people it is, but it IS hard to be your true self, especially after working for someone else for years and kowtowing to get the job, get the raise, stay in the game. Working for myself I don’t have anyone to answer to but myself, but yet it’s still hard to just let loose. The best I can do is wear sandals because I don’t have an open toe policy for myself!

Anyway, I’m going to check out that book you mentioned. Expect to see me in full form next time you see me.

I think we can BOTH be ourselves AND be responsible for our audience in what we say and what we do at the same time. To curse or not, for example, for me is about choosing the words to use, not a choice regarding whether I am being myself or not.

It takes far more courage to be yourself in all domains of your life than it does to fit in. Yet it’s a personal choice with personal consequences. There are costs and benefits to fitting in and there are costs and benefits to being yourself in every situation. Although somehow I don’t think we can contribute the best of what we have to offer until we have the courage to be who we are wherever we are. So if we want to be our best and do our best work do we really have a choice?

I find this very encouraging as I search for who I am on-line and realize I’m the same person as I am every day. I found myself searching for ways to come across in a media different then I’m use to living in and maybe that is where the confusion begins. But I think it’s just about being yourself, giving what you have to those who might want it and accepting from others what you need or want.

I also think it’s about being Honest. And those who are not – well it shines through so clearly it’s not even an issue.

Anyhow, thanks for your emails. You are one of the few that I always open and take a peek, because I often get something out of them.

Ellen

Chris I want to thank you for constantly posting thoughtful content on your blog. I’m celebrating my 1 year anniversary today and I’m still finding my “voice.” Keep up the great work.

Thanks, Chris. I just “happened upon” your blog, and really like your video. Each of us has the opportunity to speak with our authentic voice every day. Not doing so literally sucks the life energy out of us. I twittered about your video…I took a year long journey across the US in 2005/06 based on being authentic. Our intention was to engage hearts and minds, create authentic connections and transcend differences that separate us. I have found that when I dare to speak authentically, I open up a whole new space into which others can grow. Living and speaking authentically works in all relationships, whether business or personal. People like connecting with others who are the “real deal.” Good for you!

I like this post because it is very true. We tend to put on a false personality in the corporate and business worlds… Thanks Chris.
Kevin

I’ve been thinking about this for a few days, Chris. I agree 100% that our persona needs to be truthful and authentic. That’s real and then there’s no need disassemble in different situations. But, I think we need to bring our authenticity to a meeting point with our audience. It’s the *intersection* of the communication that matters, not what we, or they, put out.

So, if you’re in a meeting with senior, formal business people, don’t call them “dude.” (Happened today at a meeting I attended and I saw people visibly cringe.) Don’t swear if it would offend a particular audience, because if they shut down their receptivity because they’ve been put off, they’ll never hear a core great message. I’m not advocating self-censorship. I’m advocating bringing our own authentic selves to a mutual meeting place with our audience.

Chris I have tried to curb “me” so that I fit in to my audience or wherever. I hate myself when I do that. I really prohibits me from being able to give passionately to my clients and it even penetrates into my family life. I just have to give into myself and quit trying to find people who like me and allow people who like me to find me. It is much easier that way.

Technically, if you are being anything BUT your true self you are essentially playing a role. Many of us don’t realize it but we adopt whatever role goes with a particular situation. For example, speaking to your boss vs. another co-worker, the list goes on.

I responded to this at my blog, because this is a topic that I have been ruminating a lot, too.
http://alwaystravelling.wordpress.com/2009/02/06/writing-ones-true-voice-whether-to-edit-or-not/
I would post my full response here but it’s pretty long.

Essentially, I tend to write with my true voice on my blog, because it’s my blog and if there is one place I feel I should have full expression, it is there. Doesn’t mean that it’s not in the back of my head that employers check there. And there are some things that I used to write about that I don’t anymore because I know friends are reading and I don’t really want them to know certain things about me.

It’s funny, i always start a blog anonymously but become really excited about it as I continue to add to it. I start to tell people about it and then I become self-conscious and I feel it’s not nearly as honest and raw. I tend to boil down the content to a PG rating.

I don’t care about a little swearing chris. But don’t call this ‘authentic’. You make a sexist aside about ‘moms’ finding you offensive and, rather than start the shoot again, you add ‘some dads as well’. An ‘authentic sexist’ would hold the qualification. You’re just sexist.