What We Let Slip Away

Fingertip Poem

When time gets tight, we stop calling our friends. When our work gets busy, we stop doing those things that please us. When the world gets hectic, we shut big chunks of it out at a time. When our energy drops, so goes our courtesy.

And yet.

(Elie Wiesel, a wonderful writer and thinker used to say that “and yet” was his favorite phrase.)

And yet, that’s what we need most. What we need most is what we let slip away. We need a robust network of friends and business colleagues, and yet we don’t do enough to keep them warm and close to us. We need to prospect for more work or more sales or more clients, and yet we buckle down on our work of the moment, forgetting (though we know it’s true) that it’s only temporary and that we’ll be hungry if we don’t plan for tomorrow.

Stay Mindful

I need to stay mindful to friends and get back in the habit of communicating with as many as I can manage. I need to reach out to the people doing great work (I’ve been thinking a lot about how great the work of Chris Guillebeau is recently, and realizing that I haven’t paid enough attention to him). I need to keep my eyes on my future, but still nurture the people who have brought me to my present.

To stay mindful:

  • List your goals clearly, and include your relationship goals.
  • Use reminders. Write lists. You aren’t expected to keep everyone in your head.
  • Make it a habit. If you’re not doing it daily, it’s going to fall out of practice.
  • Set up reviews. If you don’t schedule these, you’ll risk losing habits.
  • Make new goals and lists. Remember that living in the past doesn’t do anyone any good.

I’m grateful for you

If I don’t always tell you individually what I feel about you, please know that you’re still in my head. I remember that laugh we had. I remember that great idea you shared with me. I remember how far you’ve come, and I know about those times when we both lamented. I’m grateful for you. And I don’t get enough opportunity to tell you that specifically, and yet it’s true.

Please, stick with me, and we’ll figure it out together. But I can tell you this. I refuse to let it slip away. Relationships are gold, and even if I can’t devote the same amount of time, I can place the same level of value on my relationship with you.

And You?

What can you do to keep your relationships growing? How can you build your networks and develop them into even more value? Do you still see your networks as the most important asset you’re developing?

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  • http://www.myspace.com/GODOLIFE Matt Shorty Wells

    Hi Chris
    Long time reader, first time caller… or something like that :)

    This is a great post! thanks for sharing!

    I just (as in just after reading this just now) reached out to two buddies I haven’t seen in far too long. We’ve got plans for Chilies this week!

    Keep doing what you do man. It’s appreciated!

    • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

      I’m grateful, Matt. Thank you for this. And I’m so glad you said hi. : )

  • Tami Heim

    Love this one Chris.
    I believe relationships grow when you get that ‘hearts count over head count.’
    Give value in love and it all splashes back – sometimes in the most extraordinary and unexpected ways. I am both heart-FULL and mind-FULL today.
    Thanks for sharing words that matter.

  • Matthew Liberty

    Great job Chris, love the fact that you are willing to write this and share. And I couldn’t agree more. My wife and I talk endlessly about how busy things get and these other things seem to slip away. I’ve made a whole hearted effort to stay in touch with people via text messaging, emails, phone calls, Twitter, Facebook, letters, cards, blogs, etc. One nice thing in todays tech world, is that we have so many ways to stay in touch that really don’t take much time. Great reminder Chris, thanks!

    • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

      I let things slip away all the time. This is every bit as much of a reminder to me as it is to others. : )

  • Bkjrecruiter

    Chris- This message came “right on time” for me, so THANK YOU, and Thanks to the Universe…Your work is much appreciate from Temecula, CA. (Read blog every day and 2x on Sundays!) Best, Brian-

    • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

      Thanks, Brian. I’m glad you’re out there. : )

  • Sarahsbean

    I loved this post because having only set up a Linked In account 10 months ago and having set a goal to pull together all the people I can in an ‘easy to communicate with’ way, my work and personal life has been all the richer since I did that. It was not a benefit I foresaw with Linked In but it has definitely facilitated my ‘reaching out’, and one of your early posts this year really drove home the importance of network building, not just for work-related goals but for life enrichment generally. Totally agree with previous that technology really facilitates this, but nothing beats getting together with friends, or bringing new people together with ‘old’ and watching what happens!

    • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

      Happy you’re using the tools to build relationships. : ) That’s what it’s about.

  • Lori

    You have such a talent for making business, personal. I think everyone can relate to this post..I know I did. It made me stop. For someone who’s perpetually in motion, that’s really saying something. You’re doing a GREAT job. Thanks Chris.

    • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

      Thanks, Lori. I’m glad you felt that way. Get it? Felt? : )

  • Lori

    You have such a talent for making business, personal. I think everyone can relate to this post..I know I did. It made me stop. For someone who’s perpetually in motion, that’s really saying something. You’re doing a GREAT job. Thanks Chris.

  • http://www.transformleaders.tv Henna Inam

    Hi Chris –

    I love the reminder. I just left a 20 yr career in Corp America to start my own company and am amazed at the support and love of friends and colleagues. At the end of the day what makes life meaningful is the relationships we have. I enjoyed your comment about being mindful and infact I just wrote a post about how it just takes a minute to really be mindful in the middle of our stress-filled days.

    Keep up the good work.

    • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

      I quite agree, Henna. Tricky, isn’t it?

  • http://twitter.com/judiknight judi knight

    Great post. I get going fast and need to stop every so often and just take the time to tell people how much their work means to me. You are one of those people. Chris Guillebeau is also on my radar I just hosted the Atlanta stop ( 33 of 66) of his Art of Non Conformity, Unconventional Book Tour.

    Chris is an amazing speaker with a powerful message and he stands very much in the moment. We had 125 people here, of all ages, races and walks of life. Two thirds of them had blogs.Chris sold out of his books!

    • http://chrisbrogan.com Chris Brogan

      Isn’t he the nuts? Chris is someone who deserves a lot more attention. : )

  • http://ajleon.me ajleon

    I’m glad to see you highlighting Chris G, he is really something, love his message. By the way, I *love* this post, it is the foundation of what you have been able to build over the years. And I’m SO glad to have you keep reminding us of this simple verity. :)

  • http://ajleon.me ajleon

    I’m glad to see you highlighting Chris G, he is really something, love his message. By the way, I *love* this post, it is the foundation of what you have been able to build over the years. And I’m SO glad to have you keep reminding us of this simple verity. :)

  • http://TheChrisVossShow.com Chris Voss

    Great post dude – very thoughtful

  • http://TheChrisVossShow.com Chris Voss

    Great post dude – very thoughtful

  • anne t stone

    Looking for inspiration so I stopped by here first. Taking time out for gratitude is always inspiring! I have been especially grateful to former colleagues, just this week:

    Took former UK manager sight-seeing by my home when he shared the news his drs say his cancer has left. Dinner with him and another former manager in Oxford next week!

    Former colleauge of 10 yrs ago, who I hadn’t seen in years, except on facebook, became my champion as he lined up mega-interviews because he believed in me. Just happen to run into him at a bookstore one afternoon.

    A colleague of the last three years and now dear friend through challenges and learning introduced me to her kids and put me up for the night….

    And tommorrow I am flying to the UK to visit with many more! A non-business trip to see old biz friends and colleagues!

    I believe shared experiences, good times and challenges, 6 days, 6 months or 6 years connects people in remarkable ways if you sincerely appreciate and respect them for who they are and what they do personally and professionally, remembering we all have weaknesses and differences.

    Holiday season and the New Year are near! What a perfect time to make an extra effort to reach out and thank the people who have made a positive impact in your life and career. And, out of the blue thank you’s and recounting a shared memory are always welcome….

    I have much to be grateful for and I am…

  • http://twitter.com/phillgeorge george phillip

    Great post on missed opportunity. Thoughtful and insightful. Good stuff.

  • http://www.summerhills.com Bangalow Accommodation

    You are absolutely right, when the going gets tough, it’s not only time to do maintenance and marketing, it’s still so important to ensure your product is polished. Short and sweet and to the point – a very timely post thankyou.

  • http://www.danieldecker.net Daniel Decker

    So important “and yet” so easy to overlook. As life gets busier, seems I can start focusing on ME instead of WE. Always need that reminder.

  • Anonymous

    I wish I could program this post to recur every six weeks or so when I need a slap in the face and some perspective… Thanks Chris.

  • Mo Devlin

    Well said, Amy. I was just reflecting back on two other words the other day…thank you. My wife and I do a lot of work for animals in need. The head of one particular organization, Hillside SPCA, sends us a letter for every donation…a dollar to thousands…thanking us for our efforts. The simple act of “thank you” makes me want to run through walls for people.

    Your point about so little time, work getting in the way and focusing on what’s important is spot on.

    Mo

  • Mo Devlin

    Just realized I read and misread the title. My apologies Chris. I followed a link from my good friend Amy and misread the author.

    Your points are all excellent and the post brilliant.

  • Mo Devlin

    Just realized I read and misread the title. My apologies Chris. I followed a link from my good friend Amy and misread the author.

    Your points are all excellent and the post brilliant.

  • http://eduardodx.com.br Eduardo Dx

    Without people to be around we just can’t handle, just can’t. So I try to always, in every moment, to be there, make efforts to do it. And I try to, as much as possible, thank these people for just being there.

  • http://twitter.com/RhiannonSL Joyce Bettencourt

    Just have to say I totally needed a post like this…a reminder to stop and be mindful of focus.

    Joyce Bettencourt

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