You’re Doing It Wrong

A funny, lighthearted post, we ARE doing things by hook or by crook, but basic general common sense rules never hurt anyone, especially those of not using capitals to shout and being courteous as we would be in real life as well as our virtual one. I like reading your posts and follow you on twitter as I find most of what you write useful for what I do. Thanks.

Did I ever mention that you inspired this? http://www.robcottingham.ca/cartoon/2009/10/03/...

Hope 2010 is great for you!

If one more person uses the words 'living on purpose' or 'intentional' around me I am going to scream.

Maybe if I scream FIRE that will get better results ...

I follow the "do what I like doing, and hope it works" approach. At least if it doesn't work, I'll be enjoying doing it.

Cool - good enough for you Chris - will be good enough for me. Thank you

Really hilarious... Yes i go on with you. "We all doing it wrong" Only. Nice post!!!

How freeing to know that I am so wrong!

What on earth was the point of this relatively non-sensical post?

Blogging for the sake of blogging...you're doing it wrong.

Interesting #moonfruit promotion on Twitter - whoever includes this hashtag in their tweets gets entered to win a MacBook Pro. Must have the purists cringing. Me? I think it's good marketing. Everyone's talking about it.

I do enjoy doing it wrong. If we all did it right, we'd all be the same and that'd be boring as shit. :D

Thank God. According to this post I'll be considered an outcast rebel who doesn't comply with the rules set forth by "The Man". I don't do any of that.

I'm unique... just like everyone else.

Personally, I love the LOLCats comment. I know people who actually do that, sadly.


Thanks for the Twitter add by the way.

Glorious!

Who'd of thought a guy could be as smart as you. :)
Thanks Chris

Don't know how I missed this post when it was new, you're spot on that there is no single way to do it right or wrong. However, for those using social media and networking to reach a specific audience would you agree there are ways to "do it stupid"?

Just curious.

chris,
i loved the teeth brushing analogy last week up and down, this week back and forth, next week....... no brushing at all see what im talking about at www.dentalairforce.com really i promise its true no brushing at all
p.,piero d.d.s.

I think we get too caught up in doing it "right" anyways. I think most of the time the point is to just do "it." You will waste all of your time trying to figure out the right way instead of just moving in a forward direction doing "it" at ALL! Get in there...make a mess...and clean it up later :) Life is too short to waste time trying to find the "perfect" method. There is no perfect method...it is an every moving target, an illusion (last week we brushed our teeth in circular motions, this week in up and down sweeps, next week...)

...just DO something in a forward motion.

blessings,
Wendy

The internet is all so, so wrong ;)

I thought this post was going to be "You're Doing It Wrong" as in "Hi. Jack? I'm Annette. You're doing it wrong." (Remember Mr. Mom, anyone?)

I am so pleased to find out I'm doing it wrong, as in "so is everyone else."

Jessica's point about parenting is right on the mark. I always say, "sometimes, parenthood is all about surviving it." As long as I'm surviving, I trust I'm doing it right!

I love this. And it applies to EVERYTHING. It is not about doing it right or doing it wrong. It is about doing it.

People over think blogging. It doesn't have to be complex, there is certain beauty in simplicity.

Agreed. We all are doin' it wrong!

I'm never wrong, and even when I am, I'm still right.

Or something like that.

Thanks for the insight. So many rules, so little time. You gave us all a little breathing room today.

Beautiful!

This reminds me of the motto I adopted several months ago for when it comes to posting to livejournal. "It's my blog, not their friends page."

I used to complain to about some people's posts, but the penny dropped so to speak when someone complained about the width of a photo messing up 'their' livejournal layout.

There have been days where I thought I was doing it wrong and other days where I thought I'll do what works best for me whether it's right or wrong. You've made me feel much better in knowing there is no wrong. I wonder if perhaps not doing it at all is doing it wrong.

Not doing it right is the story of my life. Seriously. I could be rich if I was paid every time I got it wrong because I am the squarest peg on the board.

Hey *I* am not doing it wrong! *You* are doing it wrong!

I do it wrong...and yet you still follow and interact with me. That proves that you're accepting of my doing it wrong. Which means I must be doing something right. Right? :)

Thanks for this. One of my social media pet peeves is the determination of the 'social media elite' to develop hard & fast "rules" that EVERYONE ELSE must follow. The problem is that the 'rule makers' give themselves permission to be wrong, changing their own hard & fast rules by the day. Meanwhile, the followers follow and wait for the word to come down 'from on high' that it is now okay to use partial RSS Feeds. For every expert that rejects Partial RSS Feeds, there are 5 more that embrace them. So, do you.

Hopefully everyone is learning about social media by trying different tools and methods, then developing their own strategy by listening to their intended audience.

I'm glad I'm doing it wrong.

I ♥ to know it that i was doing all wrong.

Great post. I'm not sure I'm down with:

>>>You use partial RSS feeds.

I think this is a great idea. It increases personalization, which is at the beating heart of social media.

I guess we can agree to disagree..

you are beyond nicer than i could ever be about this
what?
shut-up hooker

Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant. I would like to add to the analogies (I especially related to parenting "rules").

"Right way" rules for social media reminds me of the cool-kids or mean girls keeping control by creating a bunch of social mores. This hits our worst high school memories lurking in the reptilian parts of our brains. Rather than be "uncool," people stay on the sidelines. And the mean-girls rule the roost. (Where is Lindsay Lohan!!?)

In fact, the only way to "get" social media is to use it. Thanks for pulling back the curtain on the "rules."

I would say you're doing it right, Chris ;)

(i) inspired, Chris. Thank you.
Comment #99: How would YOU like to be wrong today?

well it is nice to be urself, do what you feel better for you and the community. But also it is nice to follow and do what the books say without loosing yourself. Also nice to learn from others mistakes.

So what I do is:
- I network with people on LinkedIN and Twitter.
- I Blog on my personal blog
- Post comments on blogs and posts that interest me.
- I use facebook if I want to waste sometime (i just reactivated my account and barely use it)
- etc...

I do it My Way but it is the never the right way always!

Cheers!
Jean

in yer box makin' a comment. LOL
ooops, that was wrong.

How 'bout weighing in on:
- emoticons, wrong or just WRONG?
- tweeting up the contents of your dinner plate?
(A lot more common in foodie circles, I can tell you)

There is only one way to blog.

The way that works!

Contradictions are like free puzzles.

Exactly. Exactly what I was going to say. Bravo!

You complain vehemently about said users in your list. Ha ha that's the best. "I'm going to ignore you now...because you're doing it wrong."

I'm too laid back to get all freaky bent over Internet stuff.

People speak LOLcat so what! In UR Internetz Just 2 Anoyz U...

Too many laws, too many rules. Non-conformity: It's for outcasts.

Pleaseeeee find a new hobby....
;)

Nicely done! Right or wrong isn't the issue, so the Social Media Police need to find another hobby.

btw -- and this is really strange -- that pic isn't me! It's the CEO of our company.....anybody?

Makes all the sense in the world Chris -- that's how I took it. Wondering if the issue isn't so much critics, but the fact that there are so many ways to peel the apple, as it were...

Kind of like McDonalds Vs Burger King - I like it my way - thank heavens we are all unique individuals with our own quirky selves.

I should be really clear: I love critics. I love when people tell me that I'm wrong. I learn from every single interaction, positive or negative. None of the above is strictly about me. None of the above is strictly about you. Some of the above is satire. The thrust of the piece entirely revolves around how people think their way is the only way.

Make sense?

Everybody's a critic. Which ones are the right ones to listen to about being right and wrong though? It can be hard to tell- it's best to follow your own instincts, and seek advice from critics you know and trust. If, that is, you choose to listen to them at all.

Chris, I cannot possibly explain how timely the above is for me this very moment. After a whole LOT of overthinking and agonizing and second-guessing (and and and....) my social media activities, this was like a lightning bolt to the brain.

Gee, I GET it now :-)

Gratitude.

The beauty of social media platforms is they can be used in a myriad of ways. This is not a one-size-fits-all deal, and those who thing it is are the only people who are really WRONG!

Chis,
great post! Yes I do have ads on my blog! I look forward to your take on the solution.

I appreciate the fact that you are able to vent frustration.
It communicates a large degree of transparency, and even hope to those that are just starting to know that it is a work in progress.

You're right. I'm shutting it ALL down.

see ya!

You have CAPTCHAS in your comments.

Such a freeing post. Like taking a deep breath and just realizing everything WILL work out somehow. Thank you.

Im new to twitter and still trying to kind of find my stride with it. We had to make and account in my marketing class so i kind of got thrown into it. Me not being a tech guy have found it confusing to just jump in. That is some great advise though. You really just have to be yourself. its a lot easier that way.

I'm with you on everything except for partial RSS feeds. I just don't think there's any excuse. If someone wants your content via RSS then that's a huge advantage to you. Let them have it all! I don't know why they were invented to begin with.

What do you have against ads on blogs?

I don't know what Linkedin is. So I must be ok - or not. I just subscribed to Google Adsense. Is that bad?
Love your posts!!!

Another wonderful post -- it truly is about being true to yourself, finding your voice, and using what works for you! Thanks!

Oy... The tunnel stretch-ith...and the light doth receed! Thanks for the giggle, the push, and the hope(lessness...>LOL<) ;) C.

Chris - once again your post has enlivened my day. Essentially you told me (and my team) to: forge ahead! Keep up the great work!

OMG! WTF?!? The story of my life. LOL. ROFL!

Hi Chris,

This is a reminder that one size does not fit all in social networking just like in-person networking. We need to tweak and figure out what works best and some else's formula or combination of networks or networking "philosophy" might not work for me. Seeing your list made me think about what does work, and realize we all have opportunites to make it work better if we reassess and learn from each other, our readers and our customers.

I am writing an article on poor etiquette in social networking for Competitive Intelligence Magazine which will come out in Mar/April. I would like to use your list to start it, since it illustrates what's right or wrong depends on you, your goals, your practices and your philosophy. I do plan to then go into some of the obnoxious behaviors I have noticed mostly on Twitter, LinkedIn and blogging since I think those 3 ways of communicating can apply for the others.

Thanks for this post...I selfishly needed this...and I will let everyone know where I got it and will tweet it today too, right now!

Great point Chris. In a realm like this where everything is so personal and about being yourself, there's more than one way to do things.

If anything, we should do our best to learn from the way others are doing things.

"Your ideas intrigue me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter."

Good stuff man.

I'm fat I'm thin, I'm short I'm tall,

I'm deaf I'm blind hey aren't we all.

Great post, Mr. C!

Keep the faith and keep being you!

~Ronald
TrueBeliever & HopeDealer

Chris - We're only doing it wrong if you judge someone else through your criteria for what is right. As @garyvee says, don't try to wear another person's shoes. We all have our own way, and while that way will indeed include mistakes, it doesn't make it wrong.Trust your instincts and move forward in a way that works for your goals and objectives.

This video says it better than I ever could.
http://garyvaynerchuk.com/2009/01/05/1-show-doe...

OK, agreed - you made a good point. BUT: If we did everything correct, the world gets so boring. Just type in 'You are doing it wrong' in Google and see what a lot of laughter the first results offer... http://tinyurl.com/aq8mmw . Is this not great and another way of social media sharing...?

Word.

Well, now I need to learn about Creative Commons, so I guess i was doing that wrong.

Are you saying wrong is the new right? I think so.

The technically correct are rarely the real winners. That's boring. There's so much more personality in succeeding even though you are doing a few things wrong.

Peter -

I think there is a difference between Chris' "doing it wrong" and your "doing it wrong." Chris means it from a personal, 'my perspective' way, while your version is more about improper usage as defined by the majority. Wow, I'm really treading a fine line there, but I think you might be taking this too literally.

Indeed, so many things can go wrong, better not even start publishing...
Then again, we might just go out and try what really works - for us.
What works for us, might not work for other sites, as you all know.
Cheers!

I'll just add to Danny Brown's comment:

If it's better than sex AND MUSIC, you're doing it wrong. =P

May =]

LOVE THIS!

I've lots of case studies of companies who were ill-advised by social media experts and ended up in PR Hell. Politically incorrect it may be but we can indeed get things wrong. As individuals it may simply be we don't connect with whom we wish to connect but for companies the consequences are much harder.

Perhaps it's not that we do things 'wrong' its that we weigh up the consequences of one action against the opposite action and accept those consequences. Important to know what they are though (e.g. spamming your blog posts on Twitter may lose you some followers but gain you others). Blindly following "everything is fine" would be great in a perfect world, but many social networks have unwritten rules.

It's actually fun to find them out, work out the consequences of breaking them and then doing it anyway :P

What the fuck is wrong with swearing?

And you shaved. Or you didn't. Because, hey!

Rock on. I can't even begin to count the number of times I've been told that I'm doing something wrong in the past few years. I also don't care. There is no right way - there is only the way that works best for me.

So I'll keep on doing it wrong and be proud that I don't have to do like everyone else says I do. What would be the fun in that?

Richard Reeve = Great thought on the courage to be ourselves. :)

One of the things I love about the internet is that there are so many ways an individual can get from point A to point B. These tools are designed to be open ended so that we can figure out what works best for our individual needs. How awesome is that?

There's no wrong way to eat a Reece's, it just takes time to figure out a personal system. After months of playing around with different social tools, I'm just now piecing together a holistic strategy around my preference for using some of them. For those who don't want to put the effort in, there will always be someone somewhere telling you what to do... :)

Chris - despite the exuberant enthusiasm shown in the 40+ comments above me, I must disagree. There are clear ways to use social media incorrectly. That's why Twitter accounts are suspended and Facebook profiles are deleted. Wikipedia edits based on speculation are wrong. So are blog posts that plagiarize content or do not attribute. It's wrong to shill services without disclosure and promote brands without transparency. Not responding to comments or tweets is wrong.

[But naturally, it's not wrong to disagree with me. :) ]

Love it. Great post. I think too many folks have a set dea about what Social Computing should be and the fact is there is no set way of opertating. Just like in the real face to face world where life is messy, social norms ever changing and varied by cultures, so to is the virtaul social world. Its all new, all changing and highly subjective. Thanks for posting this as I think sometimes there is a real need to point out that its okay to lighten up and relax in regards to this evolving experiment in information exchange and interaction.

This is not news to me. Folks tell me I'm doing it wrong on a regular basis. But I'm still here and I'm still doing it so it can't be all that bad...right?

Transparency + Authenticity = Naked Me...and I don't run for cover! :-)

Thanks as always, Chris, for a great post infused with insight and humor...great combo!

Best Always,
Henie

You're post is wrong. While we're at it, your face is wrong. :-P

Thank you for the reminders, Chris. :-)

-- Finnnnn

Ah, this one engendered a smile. Click! Reality. Flexibility. Changing growing. Individual personality. (Thanks much!)

social media is like teeth . just keep it natural .. care for each of them ...dont abuse them we all have our own smiles. .from .baci the dental dog

I could hear the What? from over here ;)

I am a believer in the Jessica Gottlieb school of parenting and webbing. The tools that worked with my kids so well yesterday do not stand a chance today. And they grin mischieviously maybe even maliciously as they shoot down yesterdays logic. Mike Logan

This is the best post I've read so far this year, and I agree with Jessica about similarities with parenting. There's always another way to use social media. I'm thinking of reducing my interactions to Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn but I haven't quite committed to it yet.

Nice. And there are no experts, just lots of folks learning the lay of the land.

Oh, and your Twitter Avatar changes too much.

Right on man. Going a little deeper:

We're all growing WITH this industry every day. There are things some feel should be set as rules, some think otherwise. There's always going to be a struggle but as things evolve in SM, as will standards - but there's no 1 end all to SM and what the 'perfect social mediaster' looks like. There's different variations, different applicable strategies, different ways things work - we need to be vigilant in letting the mistakes and the wins happen, regardless if we agree with it or not. Having a stranglehold on what we feel is right and what's not, isn't going to allow for that evolution.

Hi Chris,

Nice list. One thing puzzles me: how do you match "I follow too many people on twitter" with "I don't follow people back"? It seems like you advise not to follow and befriend just everyone, yet people who follow you should be followed back?

Anyway, thanks for making me wonder :-).

Hannes

This one just cracked me up, we all make choices, and we all choose what advice to follow, with the full idea that we can not ever make everyone happy. The circular logic on use/not use FriendFeed just cracked me up. Had that conversation lately, sticking with FriendFeed.

This is right on with what I have been noticing lately. How we all seem hindered by "I'm doing it wrong." I notice my "doing it wrong" things seem really big to me. Other's "doing it wrong" things seems big to them, yet trivial or right to me, if I even notice. I think we are our own worst critics. Thanks for the post when we see we all struggle with the same perceptions it creates space and freedom.

It's kind of like going to college. Is there a right set of courses to take? How will your choices affect your education...and they will, big time, because just imagine if you didn't connect with that one professor who opened your path, or the girlfriend that became your wife, or whatever because you took a different class, or went to a different school for that matter. Many of those now arriving into the networks are trying to establish street cred by speaking as though there is one right way to do this stuff. And some will listen and it will probably work fine for them.

The question, which I love Chris, and see you demanding each day: do we have to courage to be ourselves out here?

Taking calls, making pizzas, what we "experts" can learn about business from some guys who are so 20th century. http://dogwalkblog.com/x/163

And why I'm beginning to think doing business using all these Web 2.0 tools, Social Media etc is just smoke and mirrors for folks trying to get out of actually doing anything.

Rev. Chris,

You just preached a wonderful sermon about 'grace' in the world of social media. Nobody's got all the answers, and we all need a little help from our friends to figure it out. Preach it, preacher!